Posted By: gymcandy1
Thursday's - 03/07/13 06:02 AM
You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.
Plato (427 BC - 347 BC)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cow Economy
TRADITIONAL CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowikimon and market them worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are... You break for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows... both are mad.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows... and the one on the left is kinda cute...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Check out these types of crossbred dogs...
Pointer + Setter = Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet
Kerry Blue Terrier + Skye Terrier = Blue Skye, a dog for visionaries
Great Pyrenees + Dachshund = Pyradachs, a puzzling breed
Pekingnese + Lhasa Apso = Peekasso, an abstract dog
Irish Water Spaniel + English Springer Spaniel = Irish Springer, a dog fresh and clean as a whistle
Labrador Retriever + Curly Coated Retriever = Lab Coat Retriever, the choice of research scientists everywhere
Newfoundland + Basset Hound = Newfound Asset Hound, a dog for financial advisors
Terrier + Bulldog = Terribull, a dog that makes awful mistakes
Bloodhound + Labrador = Blabador, a dog that barks incessantly
Malamute + Pointer = Moot Point, a dog that....oh, well, it doesn't matter anyway
Collie + Malamute = Commute, a dog that travels to work
Deerhound + Terrier = Derriere, a dog that's true to the end
Bull Terrier + Shitzu = Bullshitz, a gregarious but unreliable breed
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation's driving school...
Q. Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
A. What for? He can't see my license plate.
Q. Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?
A. The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do."
Q. What are the important safety tips to remember when backing your car?
A. Always wear a condom.
Q. When driving through fog, what should you use?
A. Your car.
Q. How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?
A. Be too drunk faced to find your keys.
Q. What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?
A. I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.
Q. What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?
A. I would be forced to drive unlawfully.
Q. What are some points to remember when passing or being passed?
A. Make eye contact and wave "hello" if they're cute.
Q. What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
A. The color.
Q. How do you deal with heavy traffic?
A. Heavy psychedelics.
Q. What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?
A. Carry loaded military grade weapons.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
Good morning all you crazy kids out there.
Rise & shine.
It's day two of my two day weekend, and I hope it last all day long.
Well, I could hope it last all week long but that's just dumb eh?
Actually it's bitter sweet due to the factoid that tomorrow's work day begins at 5:00am, which means that today's leisure will conclude earlier. Swell!
Well all's well that ends swell.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
Plato (427 BC - 347 BC)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cow Economy
TRADITIONAL CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowikimon and market them worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are... You break for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows... both are mad.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows... and the one on the left is kinda cute...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Check out these types of crossbred dogs...
Pointer + Setter = Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet
Kerry Blue Terrier + Skye Terrier = Blue Skye, a dog for visionaries
Great Pyrenees + Dachshund = Pyradachs, a puzzling breed
Pekingnese + Lhasa Apso = Peekasso, an abstract dog
Irish Water Spaniel + English Springer Spaniel = Irish Springer, a dog fresh and clean as a whistle
Labrador Retriever + Curly Coated Retriever = Lab Coat Retriever, the choice of research scientists everywhere
Newfoundland + Basset Hound = Newfound Asset Hound, a dog for financial advisors
Terrier + Bulldog = Terribull, a dog that makes awful mistakes
Bloodhound + Labrador = Blabador, a dog that barks incessantly
Malamute + Pointer = Moot Point, a dog that....oh, well, it doesn't matter anyway
Collie + Malamute = Commute, a dog that travels to work
Deerhound + Terrier = Derriere, a dog that's true to the end
Bull Terrier + Shitzu = Bullshitz, a gregarious but unreliable breed
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation's driving school...
Q. Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
A. What for? He can't see my license plate.
Q. Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?
A. The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do."
Q. What are the important safety tips to remember when backing your car?
A. Always wear a condom.
Q. When driving through fog, what should you use?
A. Your car.
Q. How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?
A. Be too drunk faced to find your keys.
Q. What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?
A. I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.
Q. What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?
A. I would be forced to drive unlawfully.
Q. What are some points to remember when passing or being passed?
A. Make eye contact and wave "hello" if they're cute.
Q. What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
A. The color.
Q. How do you deal with heavy traffic?
A. Heavy psychedelics.
Q. What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?
A. Carry loaded military grade weapons.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
Good morning all you crazy kids out there.
Rise & shine.
It's day two of my two day weekend, and I hope it last all day long.
Well, I could hope it last all week long but that's just dumb eh?
Actually it's bitter sweet due to the factoid that tomorrow's work day begins at 5:00am, which means that today's leisure will conclude earlier. Swell!
Well all's well that ends swell.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
Connie
Good Morning Joe and haroula. It is snowing pretty heavy here this morning. We are expecting 6 inches of snow. The wind is howling out there. Hope we don't loose power! Coffee is on Cailyn. Wishing everyone a warm and cozy day! 
Soooo he cleaned out the infection and resutured and packed it with something and gave me a scrip for some antibiotics. All in all a good day....not!!