Friday....Thank God

I am a man of fixed and unbending principles, the first of which is to flexible at all times.
Everett Mckinley Dirkson
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yesterday my daughter again asked why I didn't do something useful with my time. Talking about my "doing something useful" seemed to be her favorite topic of conversation. She was "only thinking of me" and suggested I go down to the senior center and hang out with the guys. I did this and when I got home last night I decided to teach her a lesson about staying out of my business. I told her that I had joined a parachute club.

She said, "Are you nuts? You're almost 74 years old and you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?" I proudly showed her that I even got a membership card.

She said to me, "Good grief, where are your glasses! This is a membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club."

"I'm in trouble again, and I don't know what to do... I signed up for five jumps a week," I told her.

She fainted!

Life as a senior citizen is not getting any easier but sometimes it can be fun.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Investment Terms

Here are some definitions of investment terms typically used...

STOCK - A magical piece of paper that is worth $33.75 until the moment you buy it. It will then be worth $8.50.

BOND - What you had with your spouse until you pawned his/her golf clubs to invest in Amazon.com.

BROKER - The person you trust to help you make major financial decisions who leaves you broker than before you went to him.

BEAR - What your trade account and wallet will be when you take a flyer on that hot stock tip your secretary gave you.

BULL - What your broker uses to explain why your mutual funds tanked during the last quarter.

MARGIN - Where you scribble the latest quotes when you're supposed to be listening to your manager's presentation.

SHORT POSITION - A type of trade where, in theory, a person sells stocks he doesn't actually own. Since this also only ever works in theory, a short position is what a person usually ends up being in (i.e. "The rent, sir? Ha ha ha, well, I'm a little short this month.").

COMMISSION - The only reliable way to make money on the stock market, which is why your broker charges you one.

YAK - What you do into a pail when you discover your stocks have plunged and your broker is making a margin call
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Investment Guide

1. The US has made a new weapon that destroys people, but keeps the building standing. It's called the stock market.

2. Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are? Wall Street is now being called Wal-Mart Street.

3. The difference between a pigeon and an investment banker: the pigeon can still make a deposit on a BMW.

4. What's the difference between a guy who lost everything in Las Vegas and an investment banker? A tie!

5. The problem with an investment bank balance sheet is that on the left side nothing's right and on the right side nothing's left.

6. I want to warn people from Nigeria - if you get any emails from Washington asking for money, it's a scam. Don't fall for it.

7. What worries me most about the credit crunch is that if one of my checks is returned stamped 'insufficient funds' I won't know whether that refers to mine or the bank's.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Achieving More
The next time someone tells you that they want you to give 100% - do one better and give 103%! Here's how.....

We have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100%. Here's to achieving 103%. Here's a little math that might prove helpful in the future!

If...

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26


Then...

H A R D W O R K

8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98 % Only

K N O W L E D G E

11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96 % Only



But...

A T T I T U D E

1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100 %



However...

B U L L S - - -

2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103%
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie.

IT'S FRIDAY!!!!!

I GET OFF AT 1:00!!

I HAVE TO GO TO BED BEFORE DARK!!!

If you can't go to sleep, I've found that beating your head against a brick wall really helps put me out, but the throbbing head keeps waking me back up. DON"T DO IT!!

Nytol works.

I take a fist full of extra strength Nytol, with a few shots of tequila.

Works every time.

I always have to strap myself to the bed though, to keep from falling off.





yep






Ok then.

Have a happy day everyone.

joe

Have a terrific Friday Joe and all who come in after me.

It's late Thursday night for me. This cold has hit me at full force, so I'm posting now just in case I'm feeling incapacitated in the morning. I'll have to work, but at least it's a short day, since I took my longer days earlier in the week. Good thing I had the foresight; it's almost as if I knew.

Okay, headed off to bed early tonight, so wishing everyone a great Friday now. Have a terrific day, everyone.

Hi Joe and venus. I have an early work shift in the morning so I thought I'd say good night and see you on the flip side.

Midgi

If today is anything like yesterday I am going back to bed and pulling the covers over my head and not coming out.

Have a happy day everyone!

joe , glad your day will be a short one, thanks for the coffee !

hope you feel better soon , venus.

midgie ,don't work too hard ,see you later.

ana , i'm with you - working on a deadline ,so got up early hoping to make some progress - of course as soon as i got rolling , half the world called or showed up at the door. so i just got halfway through 5 minutes ago - jeesh !and now i find out the barbecue on sat. is a birthday party ,too ! arrgghhhh !

well , today's the day mom tries to walk to the fish fry- hope we get there at a good time and can find a place to sit.

to everyone coming in later ,please have a wonderful day!

Good morning Joe,Venus,Midgie,Ana,Niteowl and all
I wish you a very nice day

Good morning Joe,Ana,Niteowl,Midge,Venus,Haroula It's cold here 23 degrees,so I'll get the coffee going wishing everyone a great day

Good Morning Joe, venus, Midgie, Ana, niteowl, Haroula, Cailyn and all on the way to the Diner. Hope you all enjoy your Friday!

Thanks, niteowl. Have fun at the fish fry.

Good morning to everyone else, and sorry I don't have time to say hi individually. It's work whoosh time once again. I feel oddly more well rested than usual yet also groggy, like I want to go back to bed. Stupid cold.

Oh, well, at least it's a short day. Have a terrific Friday, everyone.

Good Morning Boomers

Joe, hope you get a good night's sleep.

Midgie, see you in the morning.

Ana, maybe you can sleep in this morning.

Venus, enjoy your workday.

Niteowl, wishing you a stress free day.

Haroula, how is your weather? It's re3ally cold here.

Cailyn, coffee ready? I need it.

Gerry, have a great day.

Not happy having to go out this morning. It's cold out there. Looking forward to Spring but I don't think it's going to warm up too quickly.

Good morning everyone. It's cold here this morning too, 37. It will warm up as the day goes on. Venus, I hope your feeling better today. Ana, I hope your day is better than yesterday. To all here and all who follow, have a Super TGIF. Danish, Pancakes, Muffins, and Hot Chcolate in the NC.

Good morning everyone .. TGIF .. and yes, it would appear my computer is working again

I love technology when it's working. Well I am off to garden a bit and then it's off to work, so, live the day!

See you later .. whoosh...

Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! It's Friday!!! Woohoo and booyah!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Wine tasting tonight at our local winery.

Phone chat with best bud tomorrow morning!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!

Fantastic Friday ya'll

Boys will be here in a bit so I'm sitting and surfing and sipping and enjoying the quiet. I know the day will involve vacuuming and changing the dog covers on the furniture so the boys don't get all junky. Other than that, I have to think about food, and then we shall see.

Joe may the day fly!! Thanks for thelaughs!!

Ana sorry yesterday wasn't any better then the day before. HUGS!! May today be a lovely day and all go smoothly!!

niteowl may today be better then yesterday and have fun at the fish fry!

venus may you feel better as the day goes by!

Haroula have a lovely day!

Cailyn thanks for the coffee.

Gerry have a nice walk!

Gail may it warm up so you can go out. We are at 27 and I think that is nice as long as the wind is calm. :lol;

Connie 37 That would be nice here for this time of the year. May it warm up nicely! Thanks for the danish!

Soot Happy Working!! Glad the PC is working again!!

L4l enjoy the peace while you can. Have fun with the chores!!

Darlene may work go smoothly!! Have fun at the "taster" tonight!!

No plans till taxi time.


Nan

Was awakened before 8 am by someone triggering the driveway alarms. Looked and there was a truck at my tenant's house, backed in. I assumed it could be the youngest son who used to visit ad infinitum all the time forever UNTIL he got a new girlfriend and since then, I've seen him twice counting today. Wheeee.

Anyway, since it's a Friday am and he usually arrives pm, I figured maybe he was here to install that new kitchen faucet I gave to the renters. I couldn't put it in because of my back problems, my other tenant and friend also had hurt his back, so I just gave them the faucet, wrote out directions and said they would have to get someone to do it if they couldn't. Son who lives there is NOT handy at all.

So after a full month, they get the other son to come down and the faucet is in. Then when the renter came up with the old faucet (wanted to see if it was salvageable, (probably not) I decided to also give them a brand new year's supply PUR water filter for the new faucet. Will save them tons of money on bottled water and I love mine. It's the new 'snap on' easy to do model. Neat. Had a coupon for Costco so bought an extra one for them. Son from LA who installed faucet was still there, so I assume he's now installing the filter.

Should be great for them. Fresh water at the sink, anytime and 4 cartridges which last forever. I like to do little things for tenants. Learned that from my Landlords. Always appreciated the extra stuff they did for me. Paying it forward. I feel good.

Kind of quiet here today. Everybody must be busy, busy getting ready for the weekend!

My granddaughter just dropped off two delish looking pies for the fish fry tonight. They look too good to cut and eat. One rhubarb and one apple!

While I hope that everybody is having a great day and the sun is shining down on you!!

Time to get ready so the taxi may run and then head to work the fish fry!!

Have a wonderful rest of the day all!


Nan

I'm sorry, I have been trying to dig myself out of hole the last few days only to find the more I dig, the deeper I get.

I hope you all are enjoying the day. It's a rainy gloomy one here to match my mood.

Ana

Have a great weekend everyone.

Nan, dropping off pies to me would be dangerous. Have fun!

ana, quit digging

Quest, you have plans?

I'm thinking a nap may be in my future

rhubarb pie ! one of my favorites !

didn't make it to the fish fry - mom's hip was too stiff for her to walk over. we'll shoot for next week.

got 3 out of the four green postcards done ! yahoo !

i'm sure i won't starve this weekend with all the food that will be showing up at the barbeque tomorrow. can't wait ,should be lots of fun.

my little 4 legged friend figured out how to open the medicine cabinet this morning ,and i didn't know it until i heard her talking a blue streak ,and splashing noises.went into the bathroom to find her wet to her armpits, trying to fish 2 make-up sponges ,and several loose hair ties out of the you-know-what ,where she had dropped them !
off to game a bit ,see you all later !

Looney,

Sleeping in.

Good night Boomers.

I dug myself out of one hole and maybe tomorrow I can dig myself out the other.

Sweet dreams everyone!

Night Space enjoy sleeping in!!

niteowl. Those four legged things sure know how to entertain themselves, don't they. Sorry you missed the fish fry! Good luck next time. Hope mom's hip gets better soonest!

L4l they were delish too. Of course, I just had to buy two pieces of each, ya know. Did ya get in a nap???

Aw Ana sorry things are out of sorts. Hope that things straighten out quickly for ya. I saw that about the rain but we have snow. 2-5 tonight and then some more tomorrow. Oh where, oh where is Spring????

Well time here to rest my feet and body so off to hunt for my pillow. Night everybody sleep well and pleasant dreams!!


Nan

Ahhh all you guys who are cold, come on down. Whole house fan so we will be cool enough to sleep. Soot and I enjoyed a night of watching old hokey adventure movies. What a hoot.

Sleep well all

Well, I'm off to bed. Cold is making me sleep and stay up all kinds of strange times.

Good night, everyone.