Posted by: gymcandy1

Tuesday's - 03/18/13 07:42 PM

All I can say about life is, Oh God, enjoy it!
Bob Newhart (1929 - )

Yesterday my daughter again asked why I didn't do something useful with my time. Talking about my "doing something useful" seemed to be her favorite topic of conversation. She was "only thinking of me" and suggested I go down to the senior center and hang out with the guys. I did this and when I got home last night I decided to teach her a lesson about staying out of my business. I told her that I had joined a parachute club.

She said, "Are you nuts? You're almost 74 years old and you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?" I proudly showed her that I even got a membership card.

She said to me, "Good grief, where are your glasses! This is a membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club."

"I'm in trouble again, and I don't know what to do... I signed up for five jumps a week," I told her.

She fainted!

Life as a senior citizen is not getting any easier but sometimes it can be fun.


Why do supermarkets make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front?

Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke?

Why do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters?

Why do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in our driveways and put our useless junk in the garage?


Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that doctors and attorneys call what they do 'practice'?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavoring, and dish washing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff??

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)... in other words, send it to everyone. We all need to smile every once in a while.

Good morning everyboomie. wave

It's another early early start for me. I'll be about 2 hours into it at the crack of dawn. tired

You know what that means. It hasn't cracked dusk yet, but I need to be in bed already. sleep

This old body needs more & more rest in between the work hours. rolleyes

I guess I need to change my diaper first though, and warm up my bottle. pacify

Just hope I sleep better than a baby. wink

I hope you all slept well too. yes

Have a happy day everyone. dance


Edit: My thanks to Nan for the jokes today.
Posted by: Midge

Re: Tuesday's - 03/18/13 09:04 PM

Hi Joe. You had me laughing out loud again. Thanks. I hope you get enough sleep before you have to get up and go to work at o'dark thirty. I don't have to be at work until 2:00 in the afternoon. We're getting another snow storm overnight. I really hope we don't get any more than a couple of inches. We'll see. I hope you all have a great Tuesday. See you on the flip side.

Midgie hearts
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Tuesday's - 03/18/13 10:21 PM

Joe, I hope your day breezes by! hearts

Midgie, enjoy your morning off. We keep getting snow but it doesn't seem to accumulate much. But I am getting weary of the temps. It's going down to 13 degrees. Nan keeps blowing her cold air here. lol

Have a happy day everyone!
Posted by: Haroula

Re: Tuesday's - 03/19/13 03:40 AM

Good morning Joe,Midgie,Ana and all who come in later wave
Sory for the bad weather,here the spring is here,sunny and hot with the nature green and
blossom happydance
Have all a happy day dance
Posted by: cailyn

Re: Tuesday's - 03/19/13 04:10 AM

Good morning Joe,Ana,Midge,Haroula and all who arrive later waveSnow on the ground and it's like little hail stones coming down right now crazySure hope spring arrives soon springCoffee is ready have a great day everyone chocobunny
Posted by: Kaki's Sister

Re: Tuesday's - 03/19/13 05:03 AM

bunny chocobunny Good Morning Joe, Midgie, Ana, Haroula and Cailyn. Joe happy dreams. Midgie we got 2 inches of snow during the night. Ana hope it warms up for you today. Haroula a warm sunny day sounds good to me1 Cailyn thanks for the coffee. Happy Day wished for all! chocobunny bunny
Posted by: venus

Re: Tuesday's - 03/19/13 06:03 AM

Hello and goodbye. wave Have a great Tuesday, everyone. spring
Posted by: GBC

Re: Tuesday's - 03/19/13 06:27 AM

Good Morning Boomers

Joe, hope you slept well.

Ana, I really think Spring is not going to arrive this year.

Midgie, hope your area isn't bad with this storm.

Haroula, I envy your weather.

Cailyn, think Spring.

Gerry, have a great day.

Venus, hello, see you later.

Weather is a mess out there. Wet, icy snow and cold. School is canceled and I'll be home this morning as the roads are horrible. Where is Spring? confused
Posted by: connie

Re: Tuesday's - 03/19/13 06:53 AM

Good morning everyone. A trip to the grocery store is in the cards for today. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Tuesday. Danish, Ham and Eggs, Hash Browns, Toast, and Hot Chocolate in the NC. chocobunny
Posted by: Space Quest Fan

Re: Tuesday's - 03/19/13 09:15 AM

Good morning Boomers. wave
Posted by: Darlene

Re: Tuesday's - 03/19/13 10:02 AM

wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Hope your day goes easy peasy!

Hey, Nan! Thanks for the openers! smile

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Tuesday's - 03/19/13 11:07 AM

Joe I hope you slept well and was all bright eyed and bushy tailed on the way to work this morning. May work fly and go well. Thanks for the chuckles.

Ana what can I say. lol I am SO ready for Spring and all this snow to melt away but that will be awhile cause there is just so much on the ground. I want to go walking and not be all bundled up!

May you have a lovely day and a fun walk with the dogs!! BTW I might be in Chicagoland in June, if things go as planned.

That's it Haroula I'm moving there. lol Have a lovely day and enjoy the nice weather.

Cailyn, Gerry, and Midge be safe in the storm. Hope it ends soon and the snow goes away quickly!! Have a nice day!

Gail are the girls happy with no school?? Have a lovely day!! HUGS!

Connie have fun shopping! Thanks for the danish!

venus may work go well and the time fly! Hope you are feeling better.

Darlene may work go smoothly and the time fly!

Space have a lovely day!

No plans here yet.

Posted by: Gimli

Re: Tuesday's - 03/19/13 11:36 AM

Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Tuesday's - 03/19/13 11:38 AM

Terrific Tuesday ya'll puppy

We are having shorts weather though the storms yesterday cooled us down some. Hubby is a bit better (we shall see how he does with real food today)and I'm trying to stay away so he doesn't get my gunk.

I'm in the "no voice" stage, so it will be quiet here today rotfl

I'm going to start the tax process. Step 1: Install software Step 2: Sort paperwork

I might get to Step 3: Do son's taxes but I won't start ours til tomorrow. wave
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Tuesday's - 03/19/13 11:57 AM

Hi Ho Hi Ho..it's off for a deep tissue massage I go. What better to do on a cold day off work? woot

Catch you all in a bit!
Posted by: Sorta Blonde

Re: Tuesday's - 03/19/13 12:15 PM

Well it's Tuesday and I'm hoping for a calm day. Been hectic around here on Sunday and Monday and I'm crossing fingers for today.

Sunday was the yard kid fiasco and then the water heater replacement in the middle of all of it. Spent 7 hours dealing with 'stuff' and on my feet. Back is screaming.

Then Monday, I decided to copy some keys (tenant didn't have a front door key). He was only using the security door locks. Hummm. He could have told me TEN years ago. Ha. So I go to Wally Mart and am walking in through the plant area and WHAM, a lady with a very full shopping cart, in a great hurry, MOWED down a 3 year old boy! Right in front of me. I could only stop and stare, nothing to do cause it happened so fast. Kid just went down on face flat. Would have been comical if not for the danger of injury. He seemed OK. So off I go to the double glass doors. I was at the door and WHAM, a man runs into ME with his shopping cart! I couldn't believe it. Both incidents in less than one minute. I didn't even look up to see who hit me since I was in such pain. The corner of the cart his my hand just below the wrist. Hurts like heck. Nice lump and bruise. The guy, just said, "Sorry, I didn't see you". Huh? I'm not a SMALL person and I was on MY side of the entry in an open area. What didn't he seeeee?

Anyway off he went without another word and I just stood there hurting and deciding if I wanted to shop or go home. I shopped. Heck, maybe another cart would hit me and I could sue. rotfl

So today BETTER be a calm day.

OH Apartment news flash: The boy toy of the drunk lady had MOVED OUT. Yup, been 3 weeks now and I've seen him 3 times driving up, taking her shopping for booze and spending about 1/2 hour inside then off he goes. Today, I managed to see the 'farewell'. She looked very very sad, even though she told me she kicked him out and didn't need a 'young' boyfriend. Something weird there. I'm guessing something happened with the management or another tenant and he's not allowed to stay. I'll probably find out later. Nice to have him gone since he's one of the major drug dealers and Pot smokers. Much calmer now and he and she aren't yelling up and down the street and maybe no more police coming over to investigate the 'domestic violence'. Never a dull moment in Sorta's Neighborhood. dance
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Tuesday's - 03/19/13 02:43 PM

Sorta, your neighborhood is always interesting to read about.

Tax software installed, paperwork sorted, missing items recovered. Now time to sit for a sec and let my mind go blah. It is a super gorgeous day out there. I would love to walk the monkeys, but Soot is home sick. wave
Posted by: Haroula

Re: Tuesday's - 03/19/13 04:59 PM

sleep wave
Posted by: Lotus777

Re: Tuesday's - 03/19/13 05:19 PM

Hi Boomers!! Expecting a late season wind and rainstorm here tonight. Ugh! Trees have buds and flowers on them and daffodils are blooming and high winds can make a mess of these, boohoo! Hope it doesn't continue on across the country! Off to do some more chores. Happy Gaming everyone!! wave
Posted by: luv2travel

Re: Tuesday's - 03/19/13 05:34 PM

Hi Boomies!

Been on vacation since the 9th, and am now on my way from Hawaii back to the lower 48 by ship. Will get home on the 23rd. It's been a wonderful trip and weather's been good. Am at sea in the Pacific ocean just now.
L4L, hope you and soot feel better soon! Haven't been able to play WoW due to slow internet connections.
Miss you all! Aloha!
Andrea wave
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Tuesday's - 03/19/13 06:09 PM

Andrea, travel safely.

Soot and I curled up in bed and watched "The Odd Life of Timothy Green." It was a sweet movie, but that made me really sleepy. So just had to have a nap. Was woken by a couple of different car alarms.

We will not be going to Bible Study tonight...hubby is feeling much better and will go back to work tomorrow but I'm too junky to go anywhere. wave
Posted by: gymcandy1

Re: Tuesday's - 03/19/13 06:42 PM

Hello everybody. wave

I had a good day, despite getting up at 3:30. tired

After I came home I went to the creek with Baby and found THIS. I think it's a knife. bravo

Then I found......... This Beauty. penguin

Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Tuesday's - 03/19/13 06:44 PM

woot Joe! yay
Posted by: Sorta Blonde

Re: Tuesday's - 03/19/13 09:09 PM

Awesome Joe! That 'knife' looks a lot like the thing that the women used to scrape the underside of deer hides with. Hummm. I wonder...
Posted by: Lotus777

Re: Tuesday's - 03/19/13 09:25 PM

Wow Joe, those are grrreat!! Next time you hunt and get deer, maybe try knife on hide... lol. Actually, I think Sorta could be right.
Posted by: Space Quest Fan

Re: Tuesday's - 03/19/13 09:56 PM

thumbsup Joe

Good night Boomers. wave
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Tuesday's - 03/19/13 09:58 PM

Nice finds Joe!! happydance

wave Ana, Sorta, Lotus!!

Night Space!!

Posted by: Lotus777

Re: Tuesday's - 03/19/13 10:04 PM

Good Night Boomers! Nitey nite to you too Nan and you Space, sweet sleep!!
Posted by: Midge

Re: Tuesday's - 03/19/13 10:06 PM

Night all. See you tomorrow.
Midgie hearts
Posted by: gymcandy1

Re: Tuesday's - 03/19/13 10:13 PM

Thanks everyone. yes

Sorta you could be right. I've never found anything quite like that one, and I'm not positive about what it was used for. wink

Have a good night everyone. happydance

Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Tuesday's - 03/19/13 10:32 PM

WoooHoooo Joe happydance

Night all. Sleep well sleep
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Tuesday's - 03/19/13 10:54 PM

Sorry, I ended up back in the corner and I'll be here for the next few days a lot. I hope evreryone is doing well. hearts
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Tuesday's - 03/20/13 12:22 AM

At least you had some fun times out of the corner before today, Ana!! Hope this one goes well and moves right along for ya.

BTW guess I won't make it there as when we went to register it was all sold out. eek sad Maybe next time.

Well time to warm up and cuddle with Sassy. Night everybody sleep well and pleasant dreams.

Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Tuesday's - 03/20/13 01:55 AM

AWw Nan, I was hoping to meet up with you. sad I hope you have another reason to head down. hearts