Sunday's Finer in the Diner

My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.
Woody Allen
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Golfer: "How do you like my game?"
Caddy: "Very good sir, but personally, I prefer golf."
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Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world."
Caddy: "I don't think so sir. That would be too much of a coincidence."
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Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course."
Caddy: "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth."
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Golfer: "Do you think my game is improving?"
Caddy: "Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now."
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Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake."
Caddy: "I don't think you can keep your head down that long."
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A man went to doctor, "Doctor every night in my dream I am playing soccer."
Doctor say, "Take these pills, they will help you sleep better."
The man, "I can't take them, tonight is the final game."
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Q. How many aerobics instructors does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Four!...Three!...Two!...One!
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A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity, looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed. Generally, he was driving his partner nuts.
Finally his exasperated partner says, "What the heck is taking so long? Hit the ball!"
The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot."
His partner ponders this for a moment, and then replies:
"Forget it man, you don`t stand a snowball`s chance in hell of hitting her from here!"
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Q. Why did the golfer wear tho pairs of pants?
A. In case he got a hole in one.
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Just been to the gym and there's a new machine. Only used it for an hour as I started to feel sick. Its good though, it does everything 'Kitkats, Mars bars, Snickers and crisps' !
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I used to play tennis, baseball, basketball and chess, but I stopped after my son broke my playstation.
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If my main parachute doesn't open and my reserve parachute doesn't open, how long till I hit the ground?
- the rest of your life...
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A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.

His friend says: Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.

The man then replies: Yeah, well we were married 35 years.
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LOST CHURCHES OF LOUISIANA


When devastating hurricanes struck the Gulf Coast, even houses of worship were not spared.
A local television station interviewed a New Orleans woman and asked how the loss of churches in the area had affected their lives.
Without hesitation, the woman replied, I don’t know ‘bout all those other people, but we ain’t gone to Churches in years. We gets our chicken from Popeye’s.

The look on the interviewer’s face was priceless.

They live among us.
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Good morning everyboomie.

Welcome to the weekend!

Well it's my weekend. My one day weekend.

That's the weakest end of all.

It's so weak I may not be able to get out of bed.

My covers are very heavy don'tcha know.

I came home from work tonight, and I had Pepper on my shoulder in the kitchen. I was making supper, and singing Little Red Riding Hood real loud, and getting Pepper to try and join in.

My sister came in and asked me if I had a couple of drinks before coming home.

Pepper started shaking her head at that.

I guess I'll go sleep of my stupor.

Have a happy day everyone.

joe

Joe! I can just see your sisters face. You are too funny. Pepper will probably start singing in the middle of the night.

Have a happy day!

I'll be running the dogs in the morning and then my neighbor is going to fix my truck. I only have a couple hours in the corner today and then I need to cook some beef vegetable soup for hubby.

I hope you all have a wonderful day.

Ana

Good morning Joe,Ana,and all who stop by later Ana glad your not stuck in the corner all day Joe glad you get the day off,coffee is a brewing.Enjoy the day everyone

Time for another work whoosh. Have a great Sunday, everyone.

Good morning everyone,hve a nice Sunday

Good Morning Boomers

Joe, enjoy your day off.

Ana, your soup sounds good.

Cailyn, is the coffee ready?

Venus, will you be getting a day off soon? Sounds like your work never ends.

Haroula, good morning.

Gerry, did you get a chance to sleep in?

To all who enter today I hope it's a good one. Church this morning then a nice quiet family day!

Good morning everyone. Midge, prayers and hugs on the way. Both computers are with our friend being upgraded. Hubby lets me have the newest machine, so he gets my old parts. He is so sweet. Breakfast out and then a Sam's trip this morning. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Sunday. Danish, Omelets, Waffles, and Hot Chcolate in the NC. I miss the little angel that used to be in the smilies.

Good morning. I'm off to work for a few hours. I hope you all have a great day today. Pay it forward for someone.

Midgie

Have a great Sunday everyone.

Coffeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.....

Good morning to everyone.

Oh boy, are we in for it. 8 - 11 inches of snow today. It is already snowing, a really wet snow. I am charging my cell phone in case we lose electricity. This is a great day to play and/or read. Probably both. Bill is going to have to clear the driveway tomorrow, at least enough so he can get out as he has a 3 hour dental appointment in the afternoon. He is getting 3 teeth pulled and a temporary put in. When it is all finished, he will have a bridge. I don't envy him. Will be fixing meals that will be easy for him to eat.

No getting together with Susie today.

Hope y'all have a great day.

Hey Drac. Snowing out your way?

Bets

No Darlene or Gerry? Did you all have a party and not invite us?

Good morning everyone! I slept in and it was awesome.

According to the radar it's snowing here but it lies. The sun is out and it's windy but that's it.

Be back...

good morning. thank goodness we didn't get the snow they was predicting for us. i know nw ks got quite a bit.things went good with granddaughter over night friday night and most of saturday. she did make me a nervous wreck the whole time. all she wanted to do was eat but thats the way she has always been. going to be a sleepin week here, kids on spring break.sure am wishing april 19 would hurry up and get here, i need to get me a new bipap machine since i am not feeling the pressure very good on my one. so that means not getting any very restful sleeps in at night

oh by the way the snow storm , we are blaming on our 18yr granddaughter, she cleaned her room friday

Joe may you have a wonderful day off today!! Thanks for the laughs!

Ana I think the air is dry so the snow is dissipating before it gets to the ground. Have a lovely rubn with the dogs and glad you only have to work for a couple hours. Enjoy the free time!

Cailyn thanks for the coffee. Gerry hope all is well. Haroula have a lovely day!

venus happy whooooshing!! May work fly and be fun!

Gail enjoy church and have a lovely quiet day with the family!! HUGS!

Connie that sure is nice of hubby!! Have a nice walk and enjoy breakfast out!! Thanks for the danish!

Midge may work be fun and you have a lovely day!

Bets...Snow????? What happened to Spring??? Hope Bill is careful with the snow removal cause it will be heavy wet snow. Happy gaming and reading!!

L4l plenty of coffee on in the corner, enjoy!! Hope you feel better.

Space have a lovely day!

My10 glad the snow wasn't bad and that lgranddaughter was able to spend some time there. Have a lovely day!

No plans here yet, but ya never know.


Nan

I just watched the STORM coverage of the Mid-West and East. So sorry for anyone who is having to put up with snow and all that cold stuff. Spring should have already sprung!

In my little bit of paradise, it's mid 50's now, sunny, warm sun, cool sea breeze, that stupid Mocking bird is STILL singing (I wonder if they ever get laryngitis?) and the cats are hunting in the fields.

Trees are blooming, my Mom's Iris is blooming! Good story there. I think I told it once. When I moved here in 1978, the only thing that was growing after we applied copious amounts of water to bare dirt all around the house was a dark purple 'wild' Iris. Several plants near the back of the house near a water faucet. Mom came over and asked for some since she hadn't seen any since moving from New York 25 years before. So I dug up a few roots and she planted them and they grew and grew for her. MINE? The started to die so I moved them from place to place, into and out of planters, dirt, barrels, you name it, until not a one was left.

So when Mom died in 2003, I was cleaning up her yard at the trailer park and lo and behold there was a patch of MY Iris. I dug a few roots just before the trailer changed to a new owner and planted them here BACK near the original water faucet spot. Mom had died just before Christmas and on my birthday (just over a week later) ONE flower bloomed. I know it was a sign from Mom.

They didn't bloom after that, and I finally found ONE root and moved it to a huge plastic tub on the deck. 10 years later now, This week, BLOOMS! Lots of blooms. Thanks Mom! She's still watching me. Dunno if that's good or bad.

Good Day Sunday to Joe, Ana, Sue, venus, Haroula,
Gail, Connie, Midgie, Space, L4L, Bets, myten, Nan and Sorta. I hope all of you are having a great day. I am still in Spring cleaning mode so off to rummage and later to game. Still pretty chilly here so keeping fire burning... nice and cozy!! Happy Gaming!!!

Sorta, that is a neat story! Hope it continues to bloom.

Bets, what are reading?

We have a nice day though we had storms allllll night long. A huge thunder boomy would go off, Miss Seagy would raise her head, see Soot and I sleeping, and she'd put her head back down and go back to sleep.

I said a couple of prayers during it all for Divine Intervention to keep all the trees up, or at least, off the roof.

Hubby and I are working on a nice quiet day. I think a nap is in my future as the night was rough between my coughing, the thunder boomies, and the weird pops I heard at 12:49...Pop pop pop pop pause pop pop pop pop pause pop pop pop. <shrug>

Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Enjoy your one-day weekend!!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Howdy, Ana! I'm here! Actually, we did have a party, of sorts. Spent the afternoon with daughter and her boyfriend, then a fantastic evening with son and DIL. Got to bed very late, so decided to sleep in!

An easy peasy day planned...

Off to see what's afoot!

Good Morning to all...and have a Great day

Fun day. Finally got to my OLD Pioneer turntable which wasn't spinning and found as I suspected, the belt was bad. When I say bad, I mean totally disintegrated! All that was left was some gooey black stuff all over the place. Yuk. Took lots of rubber gloves, toothbrushes, various cleaning solutions, and a load of screaming to finally get it all off. Then I used a rubber band in place of the belt (going to order one from ebay) and it's working almost fine. Just a bit garbled but not bad. If I had the right size rubber band, I could save myself 9 bucks. Ha. So I'm happy to finally get my turntable working, still have the old vinyl records (some goodies) and like to play them occasionally. Lucky me that my friend was over and figured out how to remove the spinning plate or I'd still be wondering how to get to the underside of my turntable.

Video store at the corner is going out of business. Last day of the sale and he still has TONS of DVD's left. Amazing. AND he thinks he can sell them for 3.99 each? The thrift stores sell them for 2.99. He wasn't happy when I mentioned that. I was expecting a real 'fire' sale on day zero like 'make an offer' or all DVD's 1 buck or something. He's going to have a lot left. Only a few lookers and I gave up. Nothing in order (and all the X rated ones are gone)

Glad to hear everything is well Darlene.

Sorta, a very productive day for you!

L4L, so glad you and your trees are okay!

Me too, Ana. I love my trees as long as they stay off my roof!

Time for bed. Sleep well all

Sorta that is quite interesting about the flower!!

Lotus hope you had a great day!!

L4l glad you were all kept safe in the storms last night.

Darlene sounds like you had a lovely day yesterday!! Enjoy the easy peasy!!!

Hi Leeana hope your day was lovely!!

Ana are you done in the corner now???

Time here to say good night so......Night everybody sleep well and pleasant dreams!!


Nan