Hump Day

Posted by: gymcandy1

Hump Day - 03/26/13 10:32 PM

The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.
Nathaniel Borenstein (1957 - )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Colonoscopy Remarks

An physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:


"Find Amelia Earhart yet?"

"Can you hear me NOW?"

"You know, in Arkansas , we're now legally married."

"Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"

"Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"

"If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!"

"Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."

"You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"

"Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?"

"How are the acoustics in there?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

Computers In Movies

25 Interesting Things That You Learn About Computers in The Movies...

1. Word processors never display a cursor.

2. You never have to use the spacebar when typing long sentences.

3. All monitors display 2 inch high letters.

4. High-tech computers, such as those used by NASA, the CIA, or some such governmental institution, have easy-to-understand graphical interfaces.

5. Those that don't will have incredibly powerful text-based command shells that can correctly understand and execute commands typed in plain English.

6. Corollary: You can gain access to any information you want by simply typing "ACCESS ALL OF THE SECRET FILES" on any keyboard.

7. Likewise, you can infect a computer with a destructive virus by simply typing "UPLOAD VIRUS." Viruses cause temperatures in computers, just like they do in humans. After a while, smoke billows out of disk drives and monitors.

8. All computers are connected. You can access the information on the villain's desktop computer, even if it's turned off.

9. Powerful computers beep whenever you press a key or whenever the screen changes. Some computers also slow down the output on the screen so that it doesn't go faster than you can read. The *really* advanced ones also emulate the sound of a dot-matrix printer as the characters come across the screen.

10. All computer panels have thousands of volts and flash pots just underneath the surface. Malfunctions are indicated by a bright flash, a puff of smoke, a shower of sparks, and an explosion that forces you backward. See #7, above)

11. People typing away on a computer will turn it off without saving the data.

12. A hacker can get into the most sensitive computer in the world before intermission and guess the secret password in two tries.

13. Any PERMISSION DENIED has an OVERRIDE function.

14. Complex calculations and loading of huge amounts of data will be accomplished in under three seconds. In the movies, modems transmit data at two gigabytes per second.

15. When the power plant/missile site/whatever overheats, all the control panels will explode, as will the entire building.

16. If you display a file on the screen and someone deletes the file, it also disappears from the screen. There are no ways to copy a backup file -- and there are no undelete utilities.

17. If a disk has got encrypted files, you are automatically asked for a password when you try to access it.

18. No matter what kind of computer disk it is, it'll be readable by any system you put it into. All application software is usable by all computer platforms.

19. The more high-tech the equipment, the more buttons it has. However, everyone must have been highly trained, because the buttons aren't labelled.

20. Most computers, no matter how small, have reality-defying three-dimensional, real-time, photo-realistic animated graphics capability.

21. Laptops, for some strange reason, always seem to have amazing real-time video phone capabilities and the performance of a CRAY-MP.

22. Whenever a character looks at a VDU, the image is so bright that it projects itself onto his/her face.

23. Computers never crash during key, high-intensity activities. Humans operating computers never make mistakes under stress.

24. Programs are fiendishly perfect and never have bugs that slow down users.

25. Any photograph can have minute details pulled out of it. You can zoom into any picture as far as you want to. Example: "What's that fuzzy thing in the corner? I don't know, let's check. It's the murder weapon! Let's look under the bed for the killers shoes. no, just some comics books (Marvel 1954, very rare). Let's check the closet shelves...!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome

I got home, ate and showered, and looked up to see my evening is almost over already. smirk

As I considered what I need to do before getting ready for bed, I decided that this is more important than waxing my legs. thumbsup

Lucky you. snicker

Besides that, my sister used all the wax on her mustache. razz

I should have loaned her my clippers. slapforehead

She could stuff a few pillows with what she sheds. puppy

Speaking of pillows....... sleep

Have a super duper happy day everyone.

joe
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Hump Day - 03/26/13 11:05 PM

lol Joe, thanks for the chuckles!

I hope to be out of the corner, but at the rate I am going I'm about to just accept I am going to live there.

Have a happy day everyone!

Ana wave
Posted by: Darlene

Re: Hump Day - 03/26/13 11:24 PM

wave Howdy ho, sweetest Joe! Thanks for the openers! Your sister must truly love you! hearts smile Hope your Hump Day is easy peasy!

Hey, Ana! Sounds like another busy day for you! Hope you're able to find some Ana time!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Still Tuesday evening for me....

A long, long, day today. Ready for a new day!

So.

To all abed, sleep To all awake, woot
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Hump Day - 03/26/13 11:54 PM

Joe sleep well. Thanks for the great chuckles.

Aw Ana hope that the project gets moving along for ya. Nice find for the dogs. happydance

Darlene may today be better. HUGS! May all go smoothly~!!

Midge prayers for the Band of Angels around you as you travel to see your mom! May you have a lovely visit!!

Have a wonderful HUMP Day everybody!!

wave
Nan
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Hump Day - 03/27/13 01:17 AM

All done! yay No more corner, I couldn't sl;eep until I was done. lol

Nan, I hope you have av fun day!

Darlene, I hope today is much better for you. Do you have a long weekend coming up?

I want to go the club today and spend the whole day if I can. grin I am in desperate need of an exhausting workout.

Midgie, big hugs!
Posted by: niteowl07

Re: Hump Day - 03/27/13 02:00 AM

rotfl joe,your comments just drop me laughing...have a wonderful one !

ana,glad you're out of the corner - i'll see you when i get out of mine lol

nan , have the best day ever ,and give sassy a squeeze for me !

midgiekins ,have a safe trip ,and a great visit !

everyone ,grab a cup of coffee,and smile at a total stranger ! they'll wonder what you're up to !

see you all later wave
Posted by: cailyn

Re: Hump Day - 03/27/13 04:19 AM

Good morning Joe,Ana,Nan,Darlene,Niteowl waveI'm sure your all sleeping by now sleepSo I'll be quiet while getting the coffee ready,Ana glad your out of the corner! Have a happy day everyone bunny
Posted by: Kaki's Sister

Re: Hump Day - 03/27/13 06:04 AM

spring Good Morning Joe, Ana, Darlene, Nan, niteowl and Cailyn. Joe keep smiling. Ana relax today! Darlene hope you have a peaceful day. Nan enjoy your visit. Niteowl don't work to hard. cailyn I'm ready for that coffee. Happy Day wished for All! spring
Posted by: GBC

Re: Hump Day - 03/27/13 08:46 AM

Good Morning Boomers

A great day is wished for all that are here and all that have not arrived yet. Running late this morning. Coffee to go is most welcomed. woozy
Posted by: Haroula

Re: Hump Day - 03/27/13 09:04 AM

Good morning boomers,
We had no power since 8.00 this morning smirk
Anyway,have all a happy day wave
Posted by: gymcandy1

Re: Hump Day - 03/27/13 09:55 AM

Good morning all. wave

We have a nice day in the making here, but I'll be leaving in a short short. razz

I hope everyone is going great and your day is a good great one. rah

joe
Posted by: Darlene

Re: Hump Day - 03/27/13 10:03 AM

wave

'Morning, again, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Hump Day - 03/27/13 10:25 AM

Wonderful Wednesday ya'll puppy

Eeek Haroula, did you guys have a big storm?

Ana, so glad you are free! Enjoy every minute.

We were below freezing last night, and you could feel it. I had to go around shutting windows. wave
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Hump Day - 03/27/13 11:12 AM

Good Morning everyone! I slept in which was awesome and as a bonus, I have the house to myself. Just me and the dogs. woot I have to run a few errands and run the dogs before I can do something just for me. I need it bad!

I forgot to tell you all the Evelyne had to make an emergency trip to Italy. They had bad storms and part of her hillside retaining walls holding up her olive trees collapsed. She has no internet there yet.

I hope you all are having an awesome day!
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Hump Day - 03/27/13 11:13 AM

Joe hope work flies!!!!

WooHoo Ana!! yay Glad you have been set free of the corner. Enjoy it to the max!! A day at the club sounds exhausting but fun so enjoy!! Too bad you can't take the dogs with and wear them out too. lol

Niteowl hope your coner project moves along well and you are freed soonest!

Haroula glad the power is back on!! Was there a storm or an accident? Have a lovely day!

Cailyn thanks for the coffee.

Gerry have a lovely walk!

Gail good luck!! One large to go coffee for ya!

Darlene may all go smoothly today!

L4l that's what it is here. lol Me and Sassy took a nice one miler this morning already!! Hope you are feeling better.

No plans till taxi time.

wave
Nan
Posted by: Haroula

Re: Hump Day - 03/27/13 11:20 AM

Well,we have some wind,but not so strong to cut the power off(no storms here),most likely an accident woozy
The funny thing is everytime we called the electric company,they say:dont worry in a few minutes the power will be on.The last call was 3 hours before crazy wave
Posted by: Lotus777

Re: Hump Day - 03/27/13 11:47 AM

Good Morning Boomers!! Just a fast hello and good bye for now. Hope everyone has a fantastic day, including Joe's beleaguered sister!!! Happy Gaming!!! wave
Posted by: Sorta Blonde

Re: Hump Day - 03/27/13 12:19 PM

Woke up with a headache. I rarely get any. I think it was the IBC Root Beer I had last night. I vaguely remember them giving me headaches. Hadn't had one in a long time. Will test it out tomorrow if this one goes away.

Yard kid still being totally unreliable. He's skipping his 'appointments' with me and my neighbor and the roofer guy next door who has givin him a great chance to work on a regular basis.

Lots of excuses to all. Feeling so sorry for this kid but also annoyed that my lawn (which should have been mowed over a week and a half ago) is still growing higher and higher. He stops by from time to time to tell me he will be here 'tomorrow' and tomorrow becomes the next day etc. Still making up lies and more lies about why he didn't come or didn't show for the roofer. Ugh. Still asking for 'loans' for various immediate emergencies.

There is no hope for this one. So sad. He turns 21 on May 5th and after that, I have no good expectations. My best guess is he will get drunk (legal age 21 here), stupidly drive again drunk (2 DUI's already) and be in jail for eons. Dunno what to do but I've tried my best to set him on the right path and so have all my neighbors. I think we are giving up but continuing to hope and pray. Poor guy. Just can't get it right. All the helpful people are getting nowhere with him. cry

I won't abandon him, but the constant drama is wearing me out. Maybe there is a magic pill for such stuff? headscratch
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Hump Day - 03/27/13 01:34 PM

Sorta, I don't think there is a magic pill, but if you invent one that works, you'd make a gazillion dollars.

Haroula, I hope you get your power back soon. I swear that both the cable and electric companies take their phones off the hook as soon as they go down so we can't complain. puppy
Posted by: flutist

Re: Hump Day - 03/27/13 02:11 PM

Hi all.

Had to go see our tax guy and give them checks to pay for our taxes we owed. Then back home. Then..I had to get over to Tarjay and get a few things, then to the eye doc, then home, then fix lunch, then took Cory for a walk. Whew, enough thens. lol

Bill's mouth is still somewhat sore and he has to be careful what he eats, but he is doing okay. Just left to go over to a clients house.

I am going to goof off the rest of the day. Need to do some treadmill too.

Have a great day everyone.

Bets
Posted by: Space Quest Fan

Re: Hump Day - 03/27/13 03:48 PM

Have a great rest of your Wednesday. happydance
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Hump Day - 03/27/13 04:05 PM

Well it is time to be off with the taxi!! Have a wonderful rest of the day everybody!!!

Granddaughter(the oldest twin) will stop by with Abbi again tonight and we will have pizza!!! happydance

They were here earlier today to visit also!! What fun!! She sees herself and her brother Jude on my computer and kept going on and on about it. lol Too cute!!

wave
Nan
Posted by: soot

Re: Hump Day - 03/27/13 06:54 PM

Hey Ho everyone .. home from work after a productive day and now ready to unwind, listen to my whale music, do some gardening, eat and game a bit but not necessarily in that order. I hope all enjoyed the day and wish everyone a quiet evening.

wave
Posted by: Space Quest Fan

Re: Hump Day - 03/27/13 08:16 PM

Good night Boomers. wave
Posted by: gymcandy1

Re: Hump Day - 03/27/13 09:04 PM

Hello everybody. wave

When I went to work this morning I thought that my schedule for tomorrow was 1:00 to 10:00, but that's not the case.

I have to be there at 5:00am, so I rushed home, showered, and ate a bite, so I could hurry off to bed.......just as soon as I start a new diner. happydance

Happy dreams everyone. wave

joe
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Hump Day - 03/28/13 12:07 AM

Time to call it a day! Night everybody sleep well and pleasant dreams!

sleep
Nan