Saturdiner

Posted by: gymcandy1

Saturdiner - 04/05/13 11:03 PM

Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.
Rita Rudner

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A lady on the airplane strikes up a conversation with the fellow sitting in the next seat, "..and where are you going?"

"I'm going to San Francisco to a Unix convention," he replies.

"Eunuchs convention?" she questions. "I didn't know there were that many of you."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A language instructor was explaining to her class that in French, nouns unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine.

"House," in French, is feminine-"la mansion."

"Pencil," in French, is masculine - "le crayon."

One puzzled student asked, "...What gender is computer?..."

The teacher did not know, and the word wasn't in her French dictionary.

So for fun she split the class into two groups appropriately enough, by gender, and asked them to decide whether "computer" should be a masculine or feminine noun.

Both groups were required to give four reasons for their recommendation.

The men's group decided that computers should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computer"), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for possible later retrieval.

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your pay check on accessories for it.

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine ("le computer"), because:

1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.

2. They have a lot of data but they are still clueless.

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems but half the time they ARE the problem.

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you'd waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The women won.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was a doctor, a civil engineer, and a computer scientist sitting around late one evening, and they got to discussing which was the oldest profession.

The doctor pointed out that according to Biblical tradition, God created Eve from Adam's rib.

This obviously required surgery, so therefore that was the oldest profession in the world.

The engineer countered with an earlier passage in the Bible that stated that God created order from the chaos, and that was most certainly the biggest and best civil engineering example ever, and also proved that his profession was the oldest profession.

The computer scientist leaned back in her chair, and with a sly smile responded, "Yes, but who do you think created the chaos?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The gigantic computer took up a whole wall, dwarfing the two mathematicians standing before it.

After much flashing and humming a sliver of paper emerged from the vitals of the machine.

One mathematician, after studying it gravely, turned to the other and said with awe, "Do you realise that it would take four hundred ordinary mathematicians a hundred years of calculations to make a mistake this big?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

Microsoft (Nasdaq: MSFT) announced that it is selling advertising space in the error messages that appear in Windows.

Acknowledging for the first time that the average user of their operating system encounters error messages at least several times a day, Microsoft is trying to take financial advantage of the unavoidable opportunity to make an ad impression.

"We estimate that throughout the world at any given moment several million people are getting a 'General Protection Fault' or 'Illegal Operation' warning.

We will be able to generate significant revenue by including a short advertising message along with it," said Microsoft marketing director Nathan Mirror.

He also mentioned that Microsoft is intended to add banner ads into its Blue Screen of Death in the near future.

The Justice Department immediately indicated that they intend to investigate whether Microsoft is gaining an unfair advantage in reaching the public with this advertising by virtue of its semi-monopolistic control over error messages.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome

Ok then, I’ve got your quote, your jokes, your coffee, and a few appropriate comments coming up. happydance


headscratch Hmmm....appropriate....right.



Welp, have a happy day everyone. lol



Sometime around 2:00pm today I'll think of something "appropriate" to say. razz


Unfartunately everything I say before then is gonna get me in hot water. grin


I wonder... snicker


I've gotta get my appropriate dictionary out and dust it off, and brush up on my appropo. wink

Wish me luck & have a happy day everyone.

joe
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Saturdiner - 04/05/13 11:22 PM

Hmmm... lol Good morning Joe and all! I had planned to go for a long bike ride but the weather forecast changed and 40 mph winds does not make for a pleasant time. I am still free so I will go where the day takes me and enjoy the ride. grin

Have a happy day everyone!

Ana wave
Posted by: manxman

Re: Saturdiner - 04/05/13 11:59 PM

Good morning Joe, Ana and all boomers to follow. Hope everyone has a great start to their weekend wave
Posted by: Haroula

Re: Saturdiner - 04/06/13 02:52 AM

Good morning Joe,Ana,manxman and all who come in later. wave
Awesome weather here 30.C happydance
Have all a happy and relaxing Saturday penguin
Posted by: Kaki's Sister

Re: Saturdiner - 04/06/13 06:00 AM

wave Good morning Joe, Ana, manxman, Haroula, Cailyn and all who follower. Wishing you all a relaxing day. coffee is on cailyn! wave
Posted by: connie

Re: Saturdiner - 04/06/13 07:30 AM

Good morning everyone. It is nice and cool today so we will work in the yard. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Saturday. Danish, Muffins, and Bacon Sandwiches in the NC. spring
Posted by: soot

Re: Saturdiner - 04/06/13 08:40 AM

Good morning Joe Ana ManXMan Haroula Gerry Connie and the rest of the gang when you're ready for the weekend! Love my weekends .. always something to do with projects and all .. but get to hang out in person with WOM and you can't beat that .. plus I get to garden, surf, game and listen to whale music .. whoa! Nirvana! lol

Have a wonderful Saturday each and every one of you!

wave
Posted by: Space Quest Fan

Re: Saturdiner - 04/06/13 08:59 AM

Hi Joe, Ana, Manx, Haroula, Gerry, Connie, and soot. Have a great Saturday. smile
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Saturdiner - 04/06/13 09:40 AM

Super Saturday ya'll puppy

My sweet Kisa woke me up to a quiet house, hot coffee, and computer powered up happydance Son and kids spent the night out. Son has to work later, so we'll be on duty for a bit this afternoon and evening.

I hope we get a walk in beforehand. wave
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Saturdiner - 04/06/13 11:04 AM

Joe hope the day goes well and the evening is relaxing!! Thanks for the laughs!

Ana glad you are still free but sorry the weather changed so no bike ride. We woke to a little snow on the ground and I am hoping it goes away soonest! lol

Haroula enjoy the day but 30C is a little hot for me. Maybe 20-24C would be right. lol

Gerry thanks for starting the coffee. Have a lovely day!

manxman have a lovely day!

Connie have fun with the yard work. Glad it is cooler so you can do it without getting too hot. Thanks for the danish!

Soot hope the "to do" list is short and enjoy the day with WOY's!!

Space have a wonderful Saturday!!!

L4l enjoy the peace and quiet!!! That sure was nice of hubby!! Hope you can get a nice walk in with the dogs today too!

No plans here.....yet!!

wave
Nan
Posted by: GBC

Re: Saturdiner - 04/06/13 11:07 AM

Hello Boomers

A good day wished to all! Got a late start this morning. Will walk the dogs and later out fun shopping with the girls. Happy Saturday. spring
Posted by: niteowl07

Re: Saturdiner - 04/06/13 11:12 AM

morning,everyone !
joe ,great looking find!

trippy ,hope you feel better soon.

made deadline for the last project,and starting on the next,but i have until the 22nd,so i came up for air lol

weather here has been crazy- put on sweats,at lunchtime sweat to death ,change into shorts,then freeze after supper walking to the trash ! so i've got a cold ,of all things.

got a frame around the larger flower bed ,so now waiting for someone to pick up soil and manure. then i can get the large containers planted ,and some of the bed. picked up a couple of plants on my way back from the hardware store ,so i hope someone goes by lowe's pretty soon....

my neighbors are all pretty nice here so far ,and it's pretty quiet, but the manager isn't popular. she does seem to walk over and prowl around a lot more than seems reasonable to me, but i'm not going to lose sleep over it.

what is everyone up to this weekend ? anything exciting ?

that's it from the sand corner for now ,catch you all later ! wave
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Saturdiner - 04/06/13 11:22 AM

Good morning boomies! Got up too early but that's okay. Hubby is golfing with my BIL and my sis and I will meet up with them later for dinner. Hubby lost 54 pounds so far since January 1st so we are celebrating. yay

I'll be heading out to hike with the dogs soon and then I think I will go out for a run. I haven't had a long run since I broke my toe, so I better get on it if I am going to do the Warrior Dash.

Nan, it's upper 40's but crazy windy. We are supposed to hit 60 but I don't think so. No sunshine here to warm us up. Please do not send the snow. lol I hope something fun comes up!

Gail, have fun with the girls!

niteowl, congrats on finishing your project and being able to come up for air. yay You can plant by your new apt? That's nice.

L4L, soot is a dear! Enjoy your peace and quiet while you have it.

SpaceQ, anything fun in store for the weekend?

soot, I hope your state of Nirvana stays with you all weekend.

Connie, I was thinking of playing in the yard too later. I am trying to see if I can start a garden this year. Have a happy day!

Gerry, have a great day!

Sue, miss you!

Haroula, is it a beach day?

manxman, have a wonderful day.

Ana wave
Posted by: Sorta Blonde

Re: Saturdiner - 04/06/13 11:45 AM

I took a shower! Hooray! Finally! My shower project is over for awhile. Not exactly perfect but I'm hoping it will hold until I can win the lottery and rip the whole thing out and start over. Feels so good to be CLEAN!
Posted by: Darlene

Re: Saturdiner - 04/06/13 12:16 PM

wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Hope your Saturday is super!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Saturdiner - 04/06/13 01:09 PM

Back from our walk...it is so super dooper gorgeous out there. Hubby is up on the roof cleaning branches and leaves....doggies are going insane as if they haven't just walked 2 miles. I went out to hand him up the broom and while I was moving a ladder, he swept debris on top of me. Good thing he has lots of positive hubby points built up. wave
Posted by: Haroula

Re: Saturdiner - 04/06/13 01:09 PM

Ana,beach day indeed. yes
It was my first swim for this year woozy
A little cold for my taste lol wave
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Saturdiner - 04/06/13 02:38 PM

Haroula, did you all have fun?
Posted by: Haroula

Re: Saturdiner - 04/06/13 02:57 PM

Very,the beach was full of tourists yes
Jr.played with the sand but he stayed out of the water,hubby too lol
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Saturdiner - 04/06/13 03:54 PM

Did Jr build a sandcastle?
Posted by: Haroula

Re: Saturdiner - 04/06/13 04:51 PM

Something like that smile
tired sleep wave
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Saturdiner - 04/06/13 05:35 PM

Hi Ho, hi ho, it's off to dinner I go. Perfect timing..it's raining now. lol

Ana wave
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Saturdiner - 04/06/13 05:56 PM

Enjoy! wave

edit: Well, dinner is dined and it was yummy. Hubby and I are enjoying a quiet night. He is a bit achy from working on the roof today.

We are off to slay a few monsters. wave
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Saturdiner - 04/06/13 09:37 PM

THanks L4L, have fun gaming.

Ana wave
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Saturdiner - 04/06/13 11:11 PM

Did you have fun?

We have been watching Seagy steal all the bones. Everybody got new nylabones tonight, and every now and again I turn around and she has them all. puppy

Time for bed. Sleep well all sleep
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Saturdiner - 04/06/13 11:29 PM

Ana has the rain stopped yet?? The snow has stopped here. happydance Hope you have a wonderful time out!!

L4l sounds like a fairly nice day there. Night and sleep well!!

Time here to think about heading for my pillow. Night everybody sleep well and pleasant dreams!!

sleep
Nan
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Saturdiner - 04/06/13 11:35 PM

I did indeed have fun and ate very poor choices. rotfl
My Shadow steals all the beef bones I give them. He has to have 4 or 5 out at any time. lol

Nan, we have thunder and lightning now with rain but not pouring. Merlin is wearing his thundershirt and laying under my desk. puppy I am glad your snow stopped!

Sweet dreams...