GB HOMEPAGE

Simply Sunday

Posted By: gymcandy1

Simply Sunday - 04/07/13 04:37 AM

There are two tragedies in life. One is not to get your heart's desire. The other is to get it.
George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950), "Man and Superman" (1903)
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Hospital Message
Answering machine at the Mental Hospital...

"Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline ...

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key until a representative comes on the line.

If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone number, date of birth, Social Security number and your mother's maiden name.

If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y and c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y press 0 0 0.

If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep, or before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too busy to talk to you.
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Proper Disk Care
Proper Diskette Care instruction guide...

Never leave diskettes in the drive, as the data can leak out of the disk and corrode the inner mechanics of the drive. Diskettes should be rolled up and stored in pencil holders.

Diskettes should be cleaned and waxed once a week. Microscopic metal particles may be removed by waving a powerful magnet over the surface of the disk. Any stubborn metal shavings can be removed with scouring powder and steel wool. When waxing a diskette, make sure the surface is even. This will allow the diskette to spin faster, resulting in better access time.

Do not fold diskettes unless they do not fit into the drive. "Big" Diskettes may be folded and used in "Little" drives.

Never insert a diskette into the drive upside down. The data can fall off the surface of the disk and jam the intricate mechanics of the drive.

Diskettes cannot be backed up by running them through a photo copy machine. If your data is going to need to be backed up, simply insert TWO diskettes into your drive. Whenever you update a document, the data will be written onto both disks. A handy tip for more legible backup copies: Keep a container of iron filings at your desk. When you need to make two copies, sprinkle iron filings liberally between the diskettes
before inserting them into the drive.

Diskettes should not be removed or inserted from the drive while the red light is on or flashing. Doing so could result in smeared or possibly unreadable text. Occasionally, the red light remains flashing in what is known as a "hung" or "hooked" state. If your system is hooking, you will probably need to insert a few coins before being allowed to access the slot.

If your diskette is full and needs more storage space, remove the disk from the drive and shake vigorously for two minutes. This will pack the data enough (data compression) to allow for more storage. Be sure to cover all openings with scotch tape to prevent loss of data.

Data access time may be greatly improved by cutting more holes in the diskette jacket. This will provide more simultaneous access points to the disk.

Periodically spray diskettes with insecticide to prevent system bugs from spreading.
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Work Laws
A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.

After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.

Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he/she is supposed to be doing.

At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying.

Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.

Everything can be filed under "miscellaneous."

Following the rules will not get the job done.

Getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules.

If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a [blip] fool about it.

If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.

If you can't get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights.

Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.

It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've done and what you're going to do.

Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour.

No matter how much you do, you never do enough.

People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn't.

The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.

The more [blip] you put up with, the more [blip] you are going to get.

To err is human, to forgive is not our policy.

When confronted by a difficult problem you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How would Wonder Woman handle this?"

When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.

When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk.

You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
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Good morning everyboomie. welcome

If you're not a morning person never fear. You're just a few hours away from a good afternoon.

If you're not a day time person, you'll have to be a bit more patient. duh

Sitting in a dark room may help.

It usually helps me until my boss calls and tells me to "Get to work!!" rolleyes

No really I love mornings. thumbsup

I just don't like the getting up part. blush

Since I love mornings, I REALLY love the trip between bed time and morning to get there. woot

SO! In conclusion, I'd say give me night time and mornings and get rid of everything else.

Simple! rah rah rah

Have a happy day everyone.

joe
Posted By: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Simply Sunday - 04/07/13 04:52 AM

Good morning Joe! Thanks for the chuckles. hearts I have to hurry and shut down since we have lots of lightning. I feel better unplugging my computers.

If the weather report holds up I think I am going for a bike ride.

Have a happy day everyone!

Ana wave
Posted By: Haroula

Re: Simply Sunday - 04/07/13 08:03 AM

Good morning Joe,Ana and all wave
Have all a happy Sunday happydance
Posted By: venus

Re: Simply Sunday - 04/07/13 10:01 AM

Have a great day Joe, Ana, Haroula and all who come in after me. wave It's time for another work whoosh. Have a great Sunday, everyone. spring
Posted By: cailyn

Re: Simply Sunday - 04/07/13 10:20 AM

Good morning Joe,Ana,Haroula,Venus waveIt's 29 degrees here it's cold shiver But I have the coffee going! Enjoy the day everyone sherlock
Posted By: Kaki's Sister

Re: Simply Sunday - 04/07/13 10:55 AM

wave Good Morning Joe, Ana, Haroula, venus, and Cailyn. Joe love to spend time in your Diner day or night or any where between. Ana hope you get to go for your bike ride. Haroula enjoy your day. Venus maybe a slower whoosh today? Cailyn thanks for the coffee. It's cold her too! shiver happy Day All! wave
Posted By: GBC

Re: Simply Sunday - 04/07/13 11:02 AM

Good Morning Boomers

Joe, have a great day!

Ana, enjoy your bike ride. Hope the weather holds out for you.

Haroula, good day!

Venus, hope your work is easy today.

Cailyn, coffee please while I dream of Spring coming someday. tired

Gerry, enjoy whatever plans you have for the day.

Church this morning then a nice quiet family day! smile
Posted By: Kaki's Sister

Re: Simply Sunday - 04/07/13 11:59 AM

Good Morning GBC. Sounds like a nice day ahead for you. Enjoy! wave
Posted By: soot

Re: Simply Sunday - 04/07/13 02:55 PM

Morning everyone smile

Lovin the weekend and hope you are too .. I'm off to surf, garden and listen to my whale musice .. have a great day!

wave
Posted By: Space Quest Fan

Re: Simply Sunday - 04/07/13 03:18 PM

Good morning everyone. i hope you all have a nice lazy Sunday.
Posted By: looney4labs

Re: Simply Sunday - 04/07/13 04:27 PM

Super Sunday ya'll wave

Boys and son and friends are here. Think we will be watching "The Hobbit" in a bit. Perhaps, we will get a walk in, and after dinner Soot will take the boys home while son is at work. puppy
Posted By: auntiegram

Re: Simply Sunday - 04/07/13 05:20 PM

Joe thanks for the chuckles!!! lol May work fly and go well. I like all the time, just some times more then others. lol

Ana have a lovely ride on the bike today! We are still cloudy but in the mid 30's with no snow coming down anymore. lol Glad you still have some free time!!

Haroula have a lovely day! Glad you had fun at the beach yesterday!!

venus happy whoooooshing!! May work be fun!

Cailyn you are colder then here. headscratch Strange. Thanks for the coffee.

Gerry have a lovely day and keep warm!

Gail enjoy church and have a nice relaxing afternoon with the family!

Soot enjoy!!!

Space have a lovely day!

L4l enjoy the movie!!

I am off to my neices boy's poolside birthday party!!!

wave
Nan
Posted By: Sorta Blonde

Re: Simply Sunday - 04/07/13 05:24 PM

Cool, overcast, feels like Spring has sprung. Birds chirping, dogs barking, strange men doing something suspicious at the empty house (see Sorta's Neighborhood) post.

Going for a walk in 1/2 hour and will scope out the activity that happened over at the house. Ohhhh!
Posted By: Darlene

Re: Simply Sunday - 04/07/13 06:49 PM

wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Hope your Sunday is simply smashing!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

No church this morning. Hubby and I decided to to sleep in. An easy peasy day planned!

Alrighty, off to see what's afoot!
Posted By: looney4labs

Re: Simply Sunday - 04/07/13 07:35 PM

Back from the park...it is a totally gorgeous day out there, though it is raining pollen.

Now have hot tired doggies and hot tired doggie parents. puppy

Came home to an eerily quiet house. Son and the boys have to be here as the car is here, but I've seen no sign of them. I'm assuming they are all piled in is room asleep as they all looked like they were about to fall over when they came in this morning. wave
Posted By: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Simply Sunday - 04/07/13 08:06 PM

Good afternoon boomies. It's a beautiful day here and the dogs and I went out early for a nice hike. They are sleeping and I have been tackling a kitchen cabinet that had three shelves of spices that were a disaster. I emptied them and threw away at least 3/4 of the stuff that was in there. I just lined the shelves and have to put the keepers away and then I am done. yay

I have officially cleaned out the pantry, fridge and spice cabinet of anything containing sugar or any bad ingredient. It's a beautiful thing. yay

I am heading to Costco with hubby and then will put everything away. I will go for a dusk bike ride and see if I can see any animals coming out.

Are we having fun yet?
Posted By: Gimli

Re: Simply Sunday - 04/07/13 08:07 PM

Good morning and afternoon and evening my friends wave

Came back (from Internet-less) Italy, thanks to Nan's Band, sound and safe. I hope you all are well and that spring finally arrived in your corner of the world. Here in Switzerland it's still very cold and windy. Sometimes it looks more like November than April.

I wish all of you a very Happy Sunday! This girl here is going to sleep now (9.06 p.m. here). Will see you tomorrow again.

LOVE

Evelyne
Posted By: Haroula

Re: Simply Sunday - 04/07/13 09:51 PM

sleep wave
Posted By: looney4labs

Re: Simply Sunday - 04/07/13 10:31 PM

Night Evelyne, Night Haroula. Sleep well sleep
Posted By: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Simply Sunday - 04/08/13 02:57 AM

Evelyne, good to see you back! hearts How is mom doing?

Haroula, sleep
Posted By: auntiegram

Re: Simply Sunday - 04/08/13 04:44 AM

Sorta what an interesting neighborhood. lol Be safe!!

Darlene glad both of you were able to sleep in and hope you have had a lovely day!

L4l have you found everybody yet??? lol Glad you were able to make a park run with the dogs.

Evelyne glad your travels were safe! Spring has not lfound ity's way here yet as it has been snowing the last few days. sad Hope it finds it's way there soonest for ya! How is your mom doing? Keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers. HUGS! Night and sleep well.

Night Haroula sleep well!!

Ana sounds like you have had a busy but nice day! happydance Did ya find anything out when you went biking??

Time here to call it a day. Night everybody sleep well and pleasant dreams.

sleep
Nan
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