Posted by: gymcandy1

Saturdiner - 04/26/13 07:51 PM

You don't have to be mad to work here, but you do have to be on time, well presented, a team player, customer service focused and sober!
David Brent

Farmer John lived on a quiet rural highway. But, as time went by, the traffic slowly built up at an alarming rate. The traffic was so heavy and so fast that his chickens were being run over at a rate of three to six a day. So one day Farmer John called the sheriff's office and said, "You've got to do something about all of these people driving so fast and killing all of my chickens."

"What do you want me to do?" asked the sheriff.

"I don't care, just do something about those crazy drivers!"

So the next day he had the county workers go out and erect a sign that said: SLOW: SCHOOL CROSSING

Three days later Farmer John called the sheriff and said, "You've got to do something about these drivers. The School Crossing sign seems to make them go even faster." So, again, the sheriff sends out the county workers and they put up a new sign: SLOW: CHILDREN AT PLAY

That really sped them up. So Farmer John called and called and called every day for three weeks.
Finally, he asked the sheriff, "Your signs are doing no good. Can I put up my own sign?"

The sheriff told him, "Sure thing, put up your own sign." He was going to let Farmer John do just about anything in order to get him to stop calling everyday to complain. The sheriff got no more calls from Farmer John.

Three weeks later, curiosity got the best of the sheriff and he decided to give Farmer John a call. "How's the problem with those drivers. Did you put up your sign?"

"Oh, I sure did. And not one chicken has been killed since then. I've got to go. I'm very busy." He hung up the phone.

The sheriff was really curious now and he thought to himself, "I'd better go out there and take a look at that sign. It might be something that WE could use to slow down drivers." So the sheriff drove out to Farmer John's house, and his jaw dropped the moment he saw the sign.

It was spray-painted on a sheet of wood: NUDIST COLONY - Go slow and watch out for the chicks!

I was out walking with my Grandson. He picked up something off of the ground and started to put it in his mouth. I took the item away from him and I asked him not to do that. 'Why' my Grandson asked. "Because it's been on the ground; you don't know where it's been, it's dirty, and probably has germs," I replied At this point, my Grandson looked at me with total admiration and asked, "Grandma, how do you know all this stuff?? You are so smart." I was thinking quickly and said to him, "all Grandmas know stuff. It's on the Grandma Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Grandma." We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but he was evidently pondering this new information. "Oh....I get it! he beamed, So if you don't pass the test you have to be the Grandpa". 'Exactly,' I replied with a big smile on my face.

What is Celibacy?

Celibacy can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by circumstances.

While attending a Marriage Weekend, Frank and his wife Ann listened to the instructor declare, “It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other.”

He then addressed the men. “Can you name and describe your wife's favorite flower?”

Frank leaned over, touched Ann’s arm gently, and whispered, “Gold Medal-All-Purpose, isn’t it?”

And thus began Frank's life of celibacy...

I never knew this.


Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins
on the ice in Antarctica - where do they go ?

Wonder no more ! ! !

It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic
bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life.

The penguin is very committed to its family and will
mate for life, as well as maintaining a form of
compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life.

If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into and buried.
The male penguins then gather in a circle
around the fresh grave and sing:

"Freeze a jolly good fellow"

"Freeze a jolly good fellow."

"Then they kick him in the ice hole."

You really didn't believe that I know
anything about penguins, did you!


Good morning everyboomie. welcome

Welcome to the weekend! yay

I am back at work at 5:00am today, which means getting up at 3:30am. razz

I spent my day off helping move a car port for my friend Shane, so last night I slept like a baby. pacify

Since it's still last night, and I haven't even gone to bed yet, I'd better get to it. lol

Just don't read any of this until tomorrow morning after you get up, and it will all be perfectly clear to you then. thumbsup

If you've already read it, then you'd best just forget it, and re-read it tomorrow morning after 6:00am. snicker

Have a happy day everyone. wave


Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Saturdiner - 04/26/13 10:05 PM

Joe, how are you feeling? hearts
3:30 is an un-godly hour to get up for work. I hope you'll be home before you know it.

Have a happy day everyone!

Ana wave
Posted by: Haroula

Re: Saturdiner - 04/27/13 02:32 AM

Good morning boomers have all a nice day smile wave
Posted by: Kaki's Sister

Re: Saturdiner - 04/27/13 04:46 AM

spring Good Morning Joe, Ana, Haroula and Cailyn. Joe I hope your work day flies by. Ana maybe you can find some down time today? Haroula enjoy your day. Cailyn coffee is on. Happy Day All! spring
Posted by: cailyn

Re: Saturdiner - 04/27/13 04:58 AM

Good morning Joe,Ana,Haroula,Gerry waveThanks for getting the coffee started Gerry! Wishing every body a great Saturday puppy
Posted by: Kaki's Sister

Re: Saturdiner - 04/27/13 05:23 AM

Good Morning Cailyn. Hope you are getting some sleep. It's going to be a sunny day. Enjoy! wave
Posted by: connie

Re: Saturdiner - 04/27/13 06:44 AM

Good morning everyone. Robert is leaving for a week in the K springeys this morning. He's going on a fishing trip with some friends. Nan, can they barrow the band please? L4L, I hope Soot is feeling better this morning. To all here and all who follow, have a Great Saturday. Danish, Bacon, Eggs, Hash Browns, and Toast in the NC.
Posted by: GBC

Re: Saturdiner - 04/27/13 06:46 AM

Good Morning Boomers

Joe, early work day for you but you'll be home earlier.

Ana, enjoy whatever plans you have for the day.

Haroula, have a great day!

Gerry, enjoy the nice weather.

Cailyn, a great weekend is wished for you.

Church Board Meeting this morning then the day is mine. Nice weather here. Maybe a short bike ride later with the girls.

Morning Connie, enjoy the day!
Posted by: Space Quest Fan

Re: Saturdiner - 04/27/13 09:16 AM

thumbsup on the farmer John joke Joe. lol
Posted by: venus

Re: Saturdiner - 04/27/13 09:59 AM

Good morning and have a great Saturday Joe, Ana, Haroula, Gerry, Cailyn, Connie, Gail, Space Quest and all who come in after me. wave

Sorry I disappeared for a few days again. It wasn't intentional. I've started practicing singing again, and on my days off, I've been doing it early in the morning so I'm sure to finish way before fiance comes home. He says it doesn't bother him, but I still prefer to finish early so I'm not belting out Broadway songs while he's sleeping or watching TV. lol

I've also been trying to get in touch with my voice teacher, but I've had no luck there yet. Then there is job hunting. Though my hours next week are improving, which is a good thing. If that keeps up, I should be okay for a while at least.

Anyway, since fiance is off today, I've decided to make today my day "off" from practicing and maybe do some gaming. grin

Hope everyone here has a fantastic Saturday. spring
Posted by: Midge

Re: Saturdiner - 04/27/13 10:33 AM

Good morning. I have a First Communion celebration for my grandson this afternoon at one o'clock hearts. Work at 5:00.I completely cleaned my apartment this morning. I hope you're all having a good day. Thanks Joe for the funny jokes. I laughed out loud.

Midgie hearts
Posted by: flutist

Re: Saturdiner - 04/27/13 10:59 AM

Good morning y'all.

I have to keep telling myself that today is Saturday. Our friends came over for dinner last night and it is usually Saturday nights. Ho hum. To add to the confusion, I am doing laundry today and house cleaning was yesterday. Oh good grief, now I am confused. confused Oh heck, I think I will go get some coffee and lose myself in a game. Its a crappy day anyway. Dreary and rainy. Yuck.

Posted by: soot

Re: Saturdiner - 04/27/13 11:20 AM

Good morning gang. Slept in this morning as it is Saturday and I decided to take advantage of not having to work wink not to mention the fact my sinuses were pollen crazy yesterday flowing free like the overflowing Mississippi .. oh my shocked

Joe Gail and Midge drive safe meetings/work and enjoy the day when you're off

Thanks for the coffee and feast Gerry and Connie, I have time to enjoy it this morning

Have fun gaming with fiance Venus

Hope Saturday help unwinds life for you Bets .. enjoy the day

Hello Ana Haroula Sue SQF and the rest of the gang when you can stop by.

Have a great weekend! I am off to garden, game and listen to my whale music .. I am feeling much better this morning .. oh my but I was not a happy camper last night thumbsdown


L4L hearts

Posted by: Sorta Blonde

Re: Saturdiner - 04/27/13 11:39 AM

Joe! Everyone knows that the world does not exist at 3:30 am! It doesn't come on-line until the programmers wake up and push the ON button. it's true, it's true! We are all just computer generated avatars on a green screen. Yup.

OK now that my brain is finally in gear, it's going to be a strange day. Not to mention the full moon, but this morning, some seagulls, yes gulls, a whole flock of them, were circling my yard. Eeeek! I live about 2 miles from the South end of San Diego Bay, and gulls are common around parking lots, etc. But circling over my house isn't common and they were making sounds like a wounded cat. Took me a minute or two to locate the strange sounds and then figure out it was the gulls making it.

Either they found some yummy food around my neighborhood, or we are going to have a big storm (they all come inland when it's a biggie). Even have pelicans flying overhead at times.

AND the big news: I'm finally joining the human race and have purchased my first cell phone. Never thought I would, don't intend to use it for anything except emergency calls in my car or long distance (comes freeee with the phone all over the world). It's a TracFone. Bought a little flip one so it wouldn't be squashed in my purse. Got a great deal by shopping all over. Phone is simple, actually has more stuff than I want, but it was the best deal. I have no desire to text message or surf the net on it, but it's on there. Ugh. Just have to use more 'minutes' to use those functions. So simple. Love the TracFone plan. Total cost to have it figures out to 9 bucks a month for the year. Oh and it comes with 'double' minutes for life. I buy minutes once a year and whatever I buy, they double the amount at no extra charge.

Ran around town and found the stores have very limited stock of anything good on TracFone, so finally got one on Amazon for a better price than anywhere, got the year of minutes for 20% less than list price AND since Amazon has a 'free' shipping option if you buy a certain amount, I even got my favorite Stash English Breakfast 100 count tea bags for FREE when I lumped them into the cart. Wow! So I saved about 25 bucks overall and can hardly wait for my stuff to arrive so I can play with my new toy.
Posted by: Darlene

Re: Saturdiner - 04/27/13 11:56 AM

wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers and hope you're feeling better today! An early morning to work means an early homecoming! We'll be here!

Good morning, Ana, Haroula, Gerry, Cailyn, Connie, Gail, SQFan, venus, Midgie, Bets, Soot, and Sorta!

Good morning, all sweet 'Boomies! It's Soveryhappytofinallygettotheweekendtoenjoysomeeasypeasytimewoohooandbooyah Saturday!


Hubby's off playing racquetball. I have a phone chat with best bud in a bit. Then we'll do church late afternoon instead of tomorrow morning. Then we're doing dinner tonight with two of Hubby's sisters and their Hubbys. Daughter and her boyfriend will join us as well. Very fun! Great company!

Alrighty, off to see what's afoot!
Posted by: soot

Re: Saturdiner - 04/27/13 12:02 PM

Whoop Whoop Sorta Blonde .. welcome to the cellular information age.

Hola Cola Darlene .. wow, you have quite the day ahead of you .. BooYahhhh!

Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Saturdiner - 04/27/13 01:01 PM

Super Saturday ya'll wave

Hubby and I are running out to do errands. Will be back in a bit. Hopefully my brain will wake up at some point. It keeps screaming "Bed bed bed" at me but it will just have to wait til we get back. So far coffee has not jolted it awake, so perhaps awake is not a possibility today. <Shrug>

Back later puppy
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Saturdiner - 04/27/13 02:06 PM

Joe I hope you are feeling better today and that work flies by! Thanks for the laughs.

Ana have a lovely day and I hope the project is running smoothly!!

wave Gerry, Cailyn, Midge, Haroula, Space!! Have a lovely day!

Connie prayers for the Band around son and friends while they are gone a fishing!! Have a lovely day and thanks for the danish!

Gail may the meeting go well. Have a lovely bike ride with the girls!!

Bets rainy weather is for gaming!!! lol Have fun! Hope you can get your days straightened out!! lol

Darlene sounds like some lovely plans for the day, enjoy!! Have a lovely friend chat!

Soot glad you are feeling better. Enjoy the weekend!

Sorta sounds like you are happy!! Hope the phone gets there soonest and that you like it!!

L4l have fun with the errands!!! Hope the coffee kicks in soon.

Posted by: flutist

Re: Saturdiner - 04/27/13 02:28 PM

Instead of gaming, I popped a DVD into the drive and watched a movie. Used headphones so Bill wouldn't have to listen to it. Oooo, it was spooky. "The Diary of Ellen Rimbauer" Susie loaned it to me and she says she has two more.
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Saturdiner - 04/27/13 03:47 PM

Good afternoon boomies! I am still in the corner but took my dogs for a hike and swim this morning so they are happy puppies. They won't be so happy in a bit because I will be dogsitting for my grandpuppies this weekend. I had forgotten I promised.

Starved Rock is still flooded and closed so we are tentatively going on Wednesday instead. My sister lost her job last week so she is free to go during the week now.

I hope you all are having as beautiful of a day as it is here. Spring has sprung!
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Saturdiner - 04/27/13 06:32 PM

Awww Ana, sorry your sister lost her job.

We are back from errands. I am now tired. Time to get a cuppa and relax before dinner time. puppy
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Saturdiner - 04/27/13 08:29 PM

Thanks L4L, she is a Nurse Practitioner and will probably use this opportunity to open her own clinic. She has been running one for a very long time so she is quite capable. Sometimes when one door closes another one opens up.

Did you wake up?
Posted by: Space Quest Fan

Re: Saturdiner - 04/27/13 08:42 PM

Good night Boomers. wave
Posted by: gymcandy1

Re: Saturdiner - 04/27/13 09:02 PM

H'lo ever body. wave

Today was. . . . . .a work day. Typical. duh

I'm tard an ma feet are sore. tired

After getting home and fixing a pizza, I went to mow the lawn, but my mower wouldn't start. I put a battery charger on it, and went to do other things, like burn a huge pile of limbs and trash. While that was cooking, I tried my mower again. Still no go. So then I jumped it with my truck and started mowing the front lawn. After making two rounds, my mower just died...... shocked

I went and got out the old push mow, push mow, push push push. rolleyes

I mowed the front and quit, came in and took a shower. razz

I got something done. yay

Tomorrow I work at 7:00, so I only have to get up at 5:30.

Still have a bad cough going on, but it's getting better.

Thanks Ana. kissy

Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Saturdiner - 04/27/13 10:02 PM

Ana, so glad she has options. I would think she would have quite a few given her profession. How's the head?

I did indeed wake up but it took a long time. Of course, now I'd like to be falling asleep. Just can't satisfy some folks rotfl

Quest, how was your day?

Joe, how icky a day was that. Could you not accidentally let a couple of those cows wander around your yard, thus getting the grass mowed for free (and fertilized as well)?

We actually use a push mower but our yard is minuscule so takes 15 minutes.
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Saturdiner - 04/27/13 10:12 PM

Joe, hubby bought me a new lawn mower today from Sams. Mine broke in the fall so now I am ready when the grass is. yay I hope you can figure out what is wrong with yours. Did you leave the gas in all winter?

SpaceQ hearts

L4L, I hope you get a good nights sleep. Anything fun planned for tomorrow?

The 4 dogs are finally quiet and rested... puppy
Posted by: Midge

Re: Saturdiner - 04/27/13 10:23 PM

Night all. I had a good day. See you all in the morning. Night.

Midgie sleep
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Saturdiner - 04/27/13 10:46 PM

How was the communion Midgie? I can't believe your grandson is getting so big already. hearts
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Saturdiner - 04/27/13 11:59 PM

Night everybody!!

Posted by: venus

Re: Saturdiner - 04/28/13 12:01 AM

Good night, everyone. sleep