Posted by: gymcandy1

Tuesday - 04/30/13 01:43 AM

Congratulations to American Astronaut Shannon Lucid, she now holds the American record for most time in space. Of course, the old record was held by Jerry Garcia."
- Spaceballs (Dark Helmet)

Jails and Nursing Homes

Here's the way it should be:

Let's put the seniors in jail and the criminals in nursing homes.

This would correct two things in one motion:

Seniors would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.
They would receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs, etc.
They would receive money instead of having to pay it out.
They would have constant video monitoring, so they would be helped instantly if they fell or needed assistance.
Bedding would be washed twice a week and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.
A guard would check on them every 20 minutes.
All meals and snacks would be brought to them
They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.
They would have access to a library, weight/fitness room, spiritual counseling, a pool and education...and free admission to in-house concerts by nationally
recognized entertainment artists.
Simple clothing - ie., shoes, slippers, pj's - and legal aid would be free, upon request.
There would be private, secure rooms provided for all with an outdoor exercise yard complete with gardens.
Each senior would have a P.C., T.V., phone and radio in their room at no cost.
They would receive daily phone calls.
There would be a board of directors to hear any complaints and the ACLU would fight for their rights and protection.
The guards would have a code of conduct to be strictly adhered to, with attorneys available, at no charge to protect the seniors and their families from abuse or neglect.

As for the criminals:

They would receive cold food.
They would be left alone and unsupervised. They would receive showers once a week.
They would live in tiny rooms, for which they would have to pay $5,000+ per month.
They would have no hope of ever getting out. "Sounds like justice to me!"

(If You agree, pass this on!)

These little bits of wisdom never get old to me.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.

I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.

A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.

Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR".

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said "Implants?"

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America ?

Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were not.

Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

You're never too old to learn something stupid.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.

A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

think I probably posted those like two days ago didn't I?

Good morning everyboomie. welcome

Forgetful joe here at........... think...... idea joe's diner.

Really......I had to read the title of this thread to be sure what day this is. headscratch

I'm sure that's because just 30 minutes ago it was a different day.

My days seem to run together now-a-days. crazy

More likely though "now-a-days" they walk together........ very slowly. lol

Help Mr Wizzard! I don't want to be an Okie anymore! help

Have a happy day everyone.


Posted by: Haroula

Re: Tuesday - 04/30/13 02:13 AM

Good morning boomers, wave
Have all a happy day happydance spring
Posted by: cailyn

Re: Tuesday - 04/30/13 04:11 AM

Good morning Joe,Haroula,and all who are to follow wave Coffee is ready!Enjoy your day everyone puppy
Posted by: Kaki's Sister

Re: Tuesday - 04/30/13 05:43 AM

Good Morning Joe, Haroula and Cailyn.Joe hope you get to sleep in this morning. Haroula enjoy your day. Cailyn coffee sounds good. Wishing everyone a peaceful day! catrub
Posted by: connie

Re: Tuesday - 04/30/13 06:06 AM

Good morning everyone. A busy day today. A bank trip, then Sam's, lunch out, and to Mail and Pack to send a part for the pool salt system back for the 4th time. Sis will be here tomorrow afternoon. To all here and all who follow, have a Super Tuesday. Danish, Omelets, and Muffins in the NC. spring
Posted by: venus

Re: Tuesday - 04/30/13 06:15 AM

Hello and goodbye. wave Have a great Tuesday, everyone. spring
Posted by: Kaki's Sister

Re: Tuesday - 04/30/13 06:22 AM

Good Morning Connie and venus. Connie enjoy your visit with your sister tomorrow. Venus enjoy your day too. Catch you all later. wave
Posted by: GBC

Re: Tuesday - 04/30/13 07:49 AM

Good Morning Boomers

Joe, thanks for the funnies.

Haroula, a happy day wished for you also.

Cailyn, I'm so ready for that coffee. woozy

Gerry, good day to you.

Connie, enjoy your sister visit. Hope your pool gets straightened out.

Venus, wishing you a good workday.

Dog walking this morning. Nothing planned for the rest of the day as yet. Good day wishes to all! catrub
Posted by: soot

Re: Tuesday - 04/30/13 08:41 AM

Good morning gang laugh

Thanks Joe for officially starting the week (well, each day in fact) for us and we'll do our best to make the most of every day .. work, exercise, relaxing, gaming, drinking coffee, eating diner treats, listening to whale music, et cetera!

Have a wonderful day everyone wave

hearts L4L when you're up and at em


Posted by: Gimli

Re: Tuesday - 04/30/13 08:57 AM

Good morning friends kissy

Thanks Joe for the laugh!

Ana: shake your bootie eh?! If I would do that, my bootie would fall clean off... I admire your energy, girl¨!

Nan: congrats to yesterday's win. Yeeaaahhhh..

Connie: I wish you a wonderful day with sis tomorrow. Enjoy!

And I wish everyboomie a fantastic day with lots of sunshine and warmth and T-Shirt and shorts and..... Oooops, reality is more like shiver ah well....

I'am sending warm hugs instead!

Posted by: Darlene

Re: Tuesday - 04/30/13 10:01 AM

wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the Diner openers and hope your Tuesday is terrific!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
Posted by: niteowl07

Re: Tuesday - 04/30/13 10:45 AM

joe , as usual ,thanks for the jokes and much needed coffee !

hope you all have a fantastic day today to start your week off right !

my day is gonna be a busy one with laundry ,and housecleaning ,some international mail to get out ,and i think it will be warm enough for shorts and a t-shirt again !

see you all later ,i hope !
Posted by: Sorta Blonde

Re: Tuesday - 04/30/13 12:16 PM

It's collect RENT day for me, thank goodness. I had to roll coins to buy lunch yesterday. They frown on that at the restaurants. rotfl
Posted by: Gimli

Re: Tuesday - 04/30/13 12:18 PM

Hi Darlene and niteowl07 and Sorta and everybody coming after me. Still very rainy and very cold outside, so I will go down to the kitchen now to cook something good for hubby and me and then it's cuddly time with warm feet and warm tea... wink

Happy day and a wonderful evening!

Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Tuesday - 04/30/13 12:38 PM

Terriffic Tuesday ya'll

If I type quickly I can still say Good Morning! Bopping out to walk doggies as soon as I inhale another cup of coffee. puppy
Posted by: Lotus777

Re: Tuesday - 04/30/13 01:24 PM

Good Morning Boomers!!! Been in absentia for a couple of days. Very busy getting things planted etc. and last night the temp got down to 33°!! Ugh!! I hope my little transplanted tomatoes are okay. They have club soda bottles over them so I hope that protected them. Haven't gone to look yet... Got a new camera and of all things it won't work without an extra memory card so ordered that and have to wait some more. I have lots of reading to do on this though as I hope to learn it inside and out. I am off to plant peas and potatoes so Happy Gaming everyone!!! wave Have a great day!!!
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Tuesday - 04/30/13 02:08 PM

Lotus I found some "eyed" potatoes in my cupboard, wnat to plant them??? lol Happy planting!!

Joe that time off is now one day closer!!! lol May work fly and go well. Thanks for the chuckles.

Haroula have a lovely day!

Cailyn thanks for getting the coffee going! Have a lovely day!

Gerry hope the knee is good and you have a nice day!

Gail enjoy the nice walk with the dogs!! Have a great day!

WooHoo venus another day you get to work. May it be fun and time fly!

Connie 4 times??? Man they sure don't make things like they use to. Good luck with the new one! Thanks for the danish!

Evelyne thanks! Your weather sounds like my weather today. Mother nature must have some little kid there messing with the thermostat! lol Enjoy the warm tea time!

Soot may work fly and go well.

Darlene may all go smoothly for you today! Have a nice day!

Niteowl sounds like a busy day there. Have fun with everything. No shorts here. eek They are talking snow for later in the week.

Sorta happy rent collecting!!!!

L4l may you have a lovely walk with the dogs and may your leg and back be fine! HUGS!

Ana thanks!! Glad that you are about finished now!! I'm sure always a good feeling!! How is Merlin doing??

Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Tuesday - 04/30/13 02:33 PM

Ahhhhh back from a lovely outing with the doggies puppy We popped an extra 1/2 lap in and alternated walking on the grass or the path. Of course, we took advantage of the couple places with shade. We were almost the only folks up there today as we were later than normal getting out. Now it's time to ice leg/achilles and cool down and hydrate with ice bags and watermelon.

Later we have Perrin's first soccer game. I'm sure it will be hysterical.

For all you guys still looking for spring, I'm trying hard to send it to you. wave
Posted by: Haroula

Re: Tuesday - 04/30/13 03:08 PM

We have 30C. redface
If you dont have sunglasses,hut and sun protection...too hot for this time of year yes
Tomorrow will go to hubby`s home village.
Its an hour from here. happydance
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Tuesday - 04/30/13 03:55 PM

Haroula, let's hope that this early heat doesn't mean a much hotter summer. Travel safely puppy
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Tuesday - 04/30/13 04:34 PM

Wow it is a nice 70F out there and I went to check and we are undera weather alert.........winter storm warning till Wednesday. eek Today must be Summer. lol Tomorrow Fall and then Winter again. duh How silly is that.

Haroula your 30C is a little too lhot for me though it would be welcome about now. lol Have fun tomorrow at hubbys village!!

L4l glad you made it out with the dogs and had the park almost to yourself!! Hope the ice helps!

Posted by: Space Quest Fan

Re: Tuesday - 04/30/13 05:23 PM

Good afternoon Boomers. wave
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Tuesday - 04/30/13 06:33 PM

Nan, you guys are having a whole year's worth of weather in a week...lol

Quest, how ya doing?

We are off to the Per's first soccer game. Should be fun! wave puppy
Posted by: niteowl07

Re: Tuesday - 04/30/13 09:24 PM

wow , what crazy weather you are having nan !

evelyne , i 'll take a couple of rain days , no problem !

i'm excited! next week my neighbor is taking me to a big town so i can buy some supplies to set up my working area better for my art supplies - right now things are still in boxes , and i have to hunt for what i want to use that day. i sure miss my studio space from the other place !i will have to arrange my living room completely,but it should be much more efficient afterwards , and won't look like a studio ( i hope) happydance

and we will hit the plant places for some perennials , too ! yippee !

melodee is sleeping in my palette tray - she had a busy day window -watching lol

well, i am very tired today , so i will see you all tomorrow !

take care , and have a wonderful evening !

catrub wave
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Tuesday - 04/30/13 09:36 PM

Well, back from the Per's soccer game. He did very well. Then stopped for Subway but holy moly, took 30 minutes to get our order. Then home to eat and feed dogs. Now some quick WoW dailies and then off to bed with my book. Sweet dreams all sleep
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Tuesday - 04/30/13 09:52 PM

Good evening boomies! Way too much multitasking going on for me the last few days. I can't wait to run away tomorrow for a much needed break. yay I am back in the corner but still meeting my sis at Starved Rock tomorrow. She needs a hug and the corner can wait. hearts Most of the park is still under water and closed but it's going to be in the 80's and it will be nice just to hike where we can.

It was 85 today! Pure heaven.

I hope you all are doing well. Must go back to the corner.

Ana wave
Posted by: Darlene

Re: Tuesday - 04/30/13 10:37 PM


Home, fed, NCIS'd....

Can't wait to watch the latest episode. Recording tonight to watch tomorrow.... happydance

Tired tonight. Planning on an early bed...
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Tuesday - 04/30/13 11:55 PM

L4l I think my great-granddaughter Abbi-Roze is all set for this weeks weather. lol Glad that the Per did good at the game but wow that is a long time to wait for a sub. eek Hope they were worth the wait.

Ana give your sis a big HUG for me, please and thank you!!! That has to be a hard thing to go through. Have a lovely hike and sorry I can't make it though on such short notice. lol I will one time make it though as it looks like sooo much fun and I love hiking and exploring.

Niteowl how ya been??? Is the weather just as crazy there too?

Darlene I hear that it was good, good, good!!

Well I think I shall be off to bed. I have a big day tomorrow starting with a trip to the oral surgeon. After that I have no clue cause I told them all that I might not feel like running the taxi.

Night everybody sleep well and pleasant dreams.