Posted by: gymcandy1

Tuesday's - 05/07/13 12:55 AM

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.
Albert Einstein

There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, “You're beautiful!” and then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said “You're cute!” Well, the wife was dissapointed because instead of “beautiful” it was “cute.” She said “What happened to ‘beautiful’? His reply was “The drugs are wearing off!”

A blind man walks into a bar, taps the man next him, and says, "Hey, wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The man says back to the blind man, "Look buddy, I'm blonde. The man behind me is a 400-pound professional wrestler and he is blonde. The bouncer is blonde. The man sitting over to your left is also blonde. Still wanna tell that blonde joke?"
The blind man is silent for a moment and then says, "Nah, I wouldn't want to have to explain it five times."

How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?
Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?

A soldier at the Pentagon got out of the shower, and realized that his clothes were missing. While searching around for them, he accidentally locked himself out of the locker room, and he found himself completely naked in the halls of the world''s most powerful military organization HQ. But, luckily, no one was around to see him.

So, he ran as fast as he could to the elevator. When it arrived, it was empty. He breathed a sigh of relief and got in. When the doors opened on his floor, there was no one waiting outside. "This must be my lucky day," he said to himself. He was now only a few yards from his office.

Suddenly, he heard footsteps coming from around the corner. He heard the General''s voice. There was no way he'd make it to his door in time, so he ducked into the closest office available, and found himself in the laboratory for Research & Development. The Head Scientist looked up from one of her experiments with puzzled interest.

The soldier thought quickly, stood up straight and saluted.

"I am here to report the partial success of the Personal Invisibility Device," he said.

"I see," the Head Scientist said. "But the Shrink Ray seems to be working perfectly."

A British doctor, a German doctor and an American doctor were chatting.
The British doctor said, "Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man put it in another and have him looking for work in six weeks."
Then the German doctor bragged, "That''s nothing, we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another and have him looking for work in four weeks."
The American doctor, not to be outdone, says, "You guys are way behind. We took a man with no brain out of Texas, put him in the White House, and almost immediately afterwards half the country was looking for work."

There was a lady, who had a dog that she loved, and he followed her everywhere. One morning she woke up, went to the bathroom, came out, and realized that her dog wasn't at her feet. She found him in his bed ''sleeping''. She called his name, but he didn't get up. So she took him to the vet and told the vet that her dog wouldn't wake up. So he looked at her dog and said, ''Your dog is dead''. She asked the doctor to perform another test to be sure.
The doctor went into another room, and came back with a cage. In it there was a cat. He let the cat out, and she walked arund the dog, sniffed, and went back in her cage. The doc put the cat back in the other room. He came out and said again, ''Your dog is dead''.
She was like ''Ok, how much do I owe you?''
The doctor said ''$300''
She said, ''What!?!? How could it cost that much??''
He said ''$15 for me to say he was dead. Then $285 for the cat scan''

Good morning everyboomie. wave

It's the weekend part two. Woo Hoo! woot

I'm wondering what happened to part one. Sheesh it went so fast. shocked

Maybe that's because I'm getting so slow. razz

Heaven forbid I should have to run anywhere.

The only things I have that runs anymore is my nose, and my truck. blush

The cows out there should thank their lucky stars by golly. snicker

Ok I'm outta here.

Have a great day Boomies. urock

Posted by: Haroula

Re: Tuesday's - 05/07/13 02:23 AM

Good morning Joe and all who come in later wave
Have a great day everyone happydance spring
Posted by: Kaki's Sister

Re: Tuesday's - 05/07/13 05:31 AM

spring Good Morning Joe, Haroula and everyone on the way to joe's. Hope you all have a wonderful day! Coffee is ready! spring
Posted by: SharonB

Re: Tuesday's - 05/07/13 05:54 AM

Good morning Joe, Haroula and Kaki's Sister and all who follow. wave

6 more days. Thanks for counting with me Looney. Day after tomorrow - Thursday I will get to go home for a brief visit. OT and PT are going to evaluate me in the home. Which means I can reintroduce myself to my cat! catrub

I have PT at 8am. Despite the rainy weather it's going to be a good day here. I ordered a ham and cheese sub to have for lunch today!! laugh

Going to start gaming again. I'm playing a couple casual games - Masque of the Red Death and Lord of the Statues. Also Around the World in 80 days.

Good gaming all!
Posted by: connie

Re: Tuesday's - 05/07/13 06:01 AM

Good morning everyone. Not sure what's on the agenda for the day yet. To all here and all who follow, have a Great Tuesday. Danish, Bacon Sandwiches, and French Toast in the NC. spring
Posted by: venus

Re: Tuesday's - 05/07/13 06:05 AM

Hello and goodbye. wave Have a great day, everyone. spring
Posted by: Kaki's Sister

Re: Tuesday's - 05/07/13 06:18 AM

Good Morning SharonB, Connie and venus. Sharon wishing you well! Connie thanks for breakfast! Venus "whooshing" you a great day! wave
Posted by: GBC

Re: Tuesday's - 05/07/13 07:02 AM

Good Morning Boomers

Joe, you rock too.

Haroula, happy day!

Gerry, thanks for the coffee.

Cailyn, did you sleep in?

Sharon, hugs. Glad you get to go home.

Connie, Danish sounds good.

Venus, good day at work.

To all who enter I'm wishing a great day!

Posted by: Darlene

Re: Tuesday's - 05/07/13 10:01 AM

wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Have a terrific Tuesday!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Tuesday's - 05/07/13 10:24 AM

Terrific Tuesday ya'll puppy

Daughter got on the road at 4 a.m. my time. She'll be here by lunch time. So you know what that means. Yes indeedy, cleaning cleaning cleaning as fast as I can to be finished before they get here. Where are my staff when I want them? Oh, that's right, they seem to be on permanent vacation.

Back later wave
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Tuesday's - 05/07/13 11:08 AM

Good morning Joe, Haroula, Gerry, Sharon, Connie, Venus, Gail, Darlene and L4L!

It is an absolutely beautiful day here and I am grabbing the dogs to go for a swim before I go back to the corner later. I want to be sure they get their swim in so they are happy. My club is closed for renovations this week so no classes but I will likely go for a run.

Off to the park I go, catch you all in a bit!
Posted by: Sorta Blonde

Re: Tuesday's - 05/07/13 11:55 AM

Baby Possums! First sighting of at least 3 babies eating at the communal feeder. I should have known the night before since the food was scattered all over the deck. They tend to 'swim' in the dish and knock the dry food out. They have already figured out where the water dish is and how to crawl up onto the deck through the little gaps around the tree. I had the deck builder go around my huge shady pepper tree so it has a nice 'access' for the little ones.

Gonna be fun to see if any survive since one of the ferals thinks the deck is hers and hers alone. She has been patrolling for the last few nights. I don't know if she will kill the possums but hopefully not.

Dreary, cold, windy, rainy again. I'm back in sweatshirts. Phooey!
Posted by: Haroula

Re: Tuesday's - 05/07/13 03:34 PM

sleep wave
Posted by: Space Quest Fan

Re: Tuesday's - 05/07/13 03:57 PM

Good afternoon Boomers. wave
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Tuesday's - 05/07/13 04:54 PM

Well think I thought that I was here this morning but I see I must not have. lol One of those days.

Joe enjoy the day and thanks for the laughs.

Night Haroula hope you had a lovely day and sleep well.

Gerry have a lovely day!

Sharon time sure is flying!! May all go well on Thursday!! Happy Gaming.

Gail have a lovely day!

venus may work go well.

L4l happy cleaning! Prayers for the Band around daughter as she travels!!

Space have a relaxing evening.

Ana have fun with the dogs swimming!! Have a nice run later. I'm not quite to the xrunning stage yet. lol

Darlene may all go smoothly today!

Sorta Sorta oh baby possoms. Hope the cat leaves them alone.

Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Tuesday's - 05/07/13 07:17 PM

Daughter is here...got here 3ish our time. Her Newfie is enormous and she says he is still growing. Chief, the Dane, is small for a Dane, but both of those guys make my fellas look tiny!

Then found a very strange growth on my Miss Seagan, so called my vet and will take her in tomorrow to let them tell me what it is.

So, all is chaos...puppy
Posted by: Space Quest Fan

Re: Tuesday's - 05/07/13 09:06 PM

Good night Boomers. wave
Posted by: Lotus777

Re: Tuesday's - 05/07/13 09:24 PM

Long day here Boomers. Shopping.... Glad to be at home. It's crazy out there!! I feel for you Sorta, we had a few days with tee shirts and now back to sweatshirts too. Hi Nan!! Have a great visit L4L. Hope you had a perfect day with the dogs, Ana!! Sweet Dreams Space Q and everyone else, for that matter. sleep Happy Gaming! wave
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Tuesday's - 05/07/13 11:31 PM

L4l glad that daughter has made it there safely!!

Time here to say "good night"! Night all sleep well and pleasant dreams!!