Sip-&-Surf Sunday

Posted by: gymcandy1

Sip-&-Surf Sunday - 05/19/13 12:32 AM

What a splendid head, yet no brain.
Aesop (620 BC - 560 BC)

Top Ten Ways To Be An Annoying Usher...

10. Show up drunk. I mean REALLY drunk.

9. SQUEEZE as many people as you can in each row before opening up the next one. We're going for efficiency here.

8. Two words: "Bathroom Key"

7. Insist on frisking all female guests. Body cavity searches are optional.

6. "March" down the aisle and speak with a German accent as you show people to their seats.

5. Urinate in front of each row you are about to open up. Make comments about marking your territory.

4. Pretend you are the Phantom of the Opera. Lurk in the shadows when time permits.

3. Offer your "services" to all guests.

2. Offer guests the opportunity to be included in your plans for world domination.

1. Insist on a pants-free environment.

Top Ten Things Not To Say To Your New Girlfriend's Parents...

10. Can I pull my car in your garage? I'm not sure how long that cop car will stay lost.

9. There ain't nothing that beats that great feeling of knowing your HIV test results are negative! I bet Sara's will be okay too.

8. Nice place you got here. That painting looks expensive. I bet a nice home like this came with a safe already built in, didn't it?

7. Sara is so pretty I've decided to give up being bisexual just for her.

6. Those home pregnancy kits aren't very reliable in my opinion.

5. We're going to keep our relationship quiet for now. My wife can be rather vindictive at times.

4. Can you believe it! Those doink heads at the corner market won't cash my welfare check!

2. Did you see that saucer that flew over town yesterday?

1. My parole officer thinks Sara has a calming effect on me.

Top Ten Reasons Studying is Better Than Sex...

10. You can usually find someone to do it with.

9. If you get tired, you can stop, save your place and pick up where you left off.

8. You can finish early with-out feelings of guilt or shame.

7. When you open a book, you don't have to worry about who else has opened it.

6. A little coffee and you can do it all night.

5. If you don't finish a chapter you won't gain a reputation as a "book teaser."

4. You can do it, eat and watch TV all at the same time.

3. You don't get embarrassed if your parents interrupt you in the middle.

2. You don't have to put your beer down to do it.

1. If you aren't sure what you're doing, you can always ask your roommate for help!

Top Ten Signs Your Spouse Is Having A Cyber Affair...

10. Lately, she sits at the computer naked.

9. After signing off, he always has a cigarette.

8. The giant rubber inflatable disk drive.

7. In the morning, the computer screen is all fogged up.

5. Every day, Bill Gates sends 10 million dollars worth of flowers.

4. The jam in the laser printer is a pair of underwear.

1. Lipstick on the mouse.

Top Ten Things You Don't Want To Hear From Your Real Estate Agent When You Go To Settlement On Your New Home...

1. "I think unexplained crop circles add a unique flair to any home's garden."

2. "Actually, it's only the rear portion of the yard that overlaps the ancient Indian burial ground."

3. "Yes, the last owner did donate the house to the Hell's Angels, but I'm told that the judge has ordered them not to come within 50 feet of it."

4. "One bleeding toilet doesn't necessarily mean it's haunted."

5. "Your neighbour has assured me that, technically, they're not 'killer' bees."

6. "Even if there was a full-scale mudslide, it's unlikely that it would reach as far back as your property."

7. "It's quite common for roaches to grow that big even when not in the presence of radioactivity."

8. "Did you know that the band Grave Raper holds their practice sessions right next door?"

9. "It's true that they died in the house, but the prosecutor was never actually able to prove it was murder."

10. "You can barely hear the sheet metal factory at night."

Top Ten Signs Your Amish Teen Is In Trouble

10. Sometimes stays in bed till after 6am.

9. In his sock drawer, you find pictures of women without bonnets.

8. Shows up at barn raisings in full "Kiss" makeup.

7. When you criticize him, he yells, "Thou suck!"

6. His name is Jebediah, but he goes by "Jeb Daddy."

5. Defiantly says, "If I had a radio, I'd listen to rap!"

4. You come upon his secret stash of colorful socks.

3. Uses slang expression: "Talk to the hand, cause the beard ain't listening."

2. Was recently pulled over for "driving under the influence of cottage cheese."

1. He's wearing his big black hat backwards!

Good morning everyboomie. wave

It's SUNTURDAY!!! dance

That's Sunday to you....all, Saturday to me, all. snicker

I'd love to go head hunting somewhere today, like the creek.

The heat and humidity is draining though, and yesterday morning I went to the creek with Baby and almost stepped on a cotton mouth. scared

Not the first time, & it's not the most fun way to be surprised. rolleyes

You only die once, but the real problem is that you only live once. razz

think Sounds like a good song title.

Anyway I've been a life long, "die hard", charter member of Procrastinators of the Universe with one ultimate goal. To put off that "dying" thing for as long as possible. thumbsup

Have a happy day everyone.


Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Sip-&-Surf Sunday - 05/19/13 12:52 AM

Joe, I come across snakes on my walks but they aren't poisonous. I'd be terrified to walk by you!
I hope it's a fun day for you today.

I have a Fundraiser to go to in the morning. It's an " Insanity " workout to raise money for Augie's Quest. I'll be happy if I can walk to my truck afterwards. lol

Have a happy day everyone!

Ana wave
Posted by: Haroula

Re: Sip-&-Surf Sunday - 05/19/13 02:37 AM

ood morning Joe,Ana and all smile wave
Have all a great Sunday. happydance spring
Posted by: SharonB

Re: Sip-&-Surf Sunday - 05/19/13 04:47 AM

Good morning Joe, Ana and Haroula. Happy Sunday.
I've been home since Monday and I'm finally getting used to it. My cat is doing much better and is a lot perkier.

Joe I hope you get a chance to do your "head hunting" today.

Ana can you take a break from the naughty corner?

Haroula, hope your weather is good and that you can get some gaming in today.

To all who come in - have a wonderful Sunday!
Posted by: Kaki's Sister

Re: Sip-&-Surf Sunday - 05/19/13 04:50 AM

dance Good Morning Joe, Ana, Haroula and Cailyn. Joe that's scary especially in spring time when snakes are more aggressive! Ana have fun at the funraiser! Haroula enjoy your day. Cailyn I put the coffee on! Happy Sunday All! dance
Posted by: venus

Re: Sip-&-Surf Sunday - 05/19/13 05:03 AM

Hello and goodbye. wave Have a great Sunday, everyone. spring
Posted by: Kaki's Sister

Re: Sip-&-Surf Sunday - 05/19/13 05:11 AM

cat Enjoy your day to venus! cat
Posted by: GBC

Re: Sip-&-Surf Sunday - 05/19/13 06:06 AM

Good Moring Boomers

Joe, have a great day. Please be careful of snakes.

Ana, it's insane for me to even read about Insanity Workout. Good luck. lol

Haroula, good morning.

Sharon, glad you're home.

Gerry, thanks for the coffee. Maybe Cailyn got a chance to sleep in.

Venus, hi and bye.

Church this morning then lunch out this afternoon. spring
Posted by: connie

Re: Sip-&-Surf Sunday - 05/19/13 06:54 AM

Good morning everyone. Breakfast out this morning. Yes Ana, we can use the pool while we wait for the new part. The pool water is still on the cool side, but It should warm up quickly now as the temps are near 90. Hugs Midge. hearts L4L, I hope Soot is feeling better today. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Sunday. Danish, Omelets, Hash Browns, Bacon, and Toast in the NC. spring
Posted by: gymcandy1

Re: Sip-&-Surf Sunday - 05/19/13 09:32 AM

Good morning everybody. wave

I'm sittin here a sippin & a surfin. yay

It's very sunny and windy outside.

At least it won't be humid, and with the wind I won't feel the heat as badly. yes
I may go out early and walk around. I know Baby would love it. puppy

I'm pretty drained from work. Yesterday was non-stop run run run. After 5 hours of it, my manager says' "Man you are EVERYWHERE this morning!!" yes

I had to agree.

Ana we ran all over this creek as kids, and we ran across water moccasins, and copper heads all the time and never thought twice about it. Now though, I think about them any time I go out, and I carry a BIG stick to beat the tall grass ahead of me. wink

I hope everyone has a super Sunday. urock

Posted by: Space Quest Fan

Re: Sip-&-Surf Sunday - 05/19/13 10:15 AM

Have a great Sunday everyone. happydance
Posted by: soot

Re: Sip-&-Surf Sunday - 05/19/13 10:37 AM

Happy Sunday everyone .. have fun this weekend!

Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Sip-&-Surf Sunday - 05/19/13 11:04 AM

Super Sunday ya'll puppy

Eeek, Joe, cottonmouth..scared Isn't it funny how our views change as we get older? Did you tell your manager yesterday that as you were doing the work of 5 men, you should be payed for at least 4?

bravo Ana, way to go! My bil has Als, and has just had his feeding tube (which he calls "tube-alicious) put in.

Hubby and I will be heading out to the park in a few minutes to imitate hamsters. Then the rest of the day will be quiet. Hubby has a routine medical test tomorrow but means we will need to stay home today. Course, staying home is not hardship for me. lol

Haroula, I hope your day is wonderful. Are your parents still there?

WooHoooo Sharon, so glad you are home. I know kitty is much happier.

Gerry, thanks for the coffee.

Venus, hope work is good and not too stressful.

Gail, where are you going to lunch?

Connie, Soot is feeling much better. I think he just "hit the wall" yesterday. I do that sometimes and just go directly to bed. He had been burning the candle at both ends for several weeks, but things will settle now for a bit.

Soot hearts
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Sip-&-Surf Sunday - 05/19/13 11:11 AM

Joe thanks for the laughs and Happy Headhunting!!!! Be careful!!

Wow Ana, you go girl!!! Hope that you can still move when it is all over. lol Not me though as I am SO not a gluten for punishment. lol

Haroula have a lovely day!

venus Happy Working and I pray that all goes well today!! Just remember.....kill them with kindness!!

Gerry thanks for starting the coffee. Have a lovely day!

Sharon glad things are starting to fall into place now and the kitty is better.

Gail enjoy church and dinner out!!! Have a lovely day!

Connie hope the pool water warms soon and you can use it. Thanks for the danish and have a lovely day!

Space have a great day!

Soot enjoy your weekend!!


L4l have a lovely walk in the park with the dogs and a nice relaxing rest of the day! Glad Soot is feeling better.

I told my one granddaughter about burning the candle at both ends and she looked at me like I was crazy. lol "What do you mean, gramma" is what she said. I just told her that one day she would just understand. lol
Posted by: Sorta Blonde

Re: Sip-&-Surf Sunday - 05/19/13 12:37 PM

I have now become 'One with the Ant'. I've fought them for weeks now and see no resolution. I'll have to infiltrate their hive to see how to defeat them. On the other hand, maybe I've been sniffing way too much ant spray?

Off today to a BBQ at the local Catholic church around the block. Neighbor gave me 2 tickets for a BBQ pit pork lunch since I gave him some flea drops for his adopted cats. Nice of him. Hope it's yummy. Maybe I'll meet someone I know, but since the last time I was over there was when I was in the 5th grade and the Priest caught me cutting through the church property as a shortcut to school and he yelled at me severely and scared me half to death, I'm planning on having flashbacks.

He really did a job on me. Ugh. The year before that, I got caught (by the same priest) dipping my hand in the holy water (my friend took me to confession) and I got yelled at again for not being part of their parish. and was told I could not do the confessional. Hey, it sounded good to me when my friend explained it. Just tell everything bad you did and say some stuff and it was all good. Oh well. I was a kid.

Some people have a fear of Clowns, some have a fear of Priests. I have a fear of both. rotfl
Posted by: Darlene

Re: Sip-&-Surf Sunday - 05/19/13 12:53 PM

wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Not a big snake fan, myself. If I came upon a snake, I would probably jump 20 feet and scream like a girl! scared Hope your day is exactly as you'd like it to be!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Slept in this morning, and it felt wonderful! smile

Off to see what's afoot!
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Sip-&-Surf Sunday - 05/19/13 01:00 PM

I conquered the Insanity class! It was awesome and exhausting but man do you feel great when it's done! yay

Now unfortunately, I have to tie myself to the desk and work. The dogs are unhappy with my choice but it has to be done.

L4L, I'm sorry your BIL has ALS. I am proud to do a bit part to help find a cure. hearts

in the corner for me now....
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Sip-&-Surf Sunday - 05/19/13 01:07 PM

Lol, Nan, that is so funny. I laugh when I think of all the idioms that we know that our grandkids will never use, but then, we tend not to use theirs either. Anything fun happening?

Sorta, rotfl

Soot and I and the doggies are back from our walk. Doggies are very hot which means they will most likely stay out of trouble for a bit. wave
Posted by: gymcandy1

Re: Sip-&-Surf Sunday - 05/19/13 03:27 PM

Hello everybody. wave

I went out to the creek for a couple of hours, and I found two points. woot

The first one is broken in half and missing the lower point, and one of the horns from the top end.

I believe it is a PALEO POINT.

The other one is mostly there, but missing the very tip, and pretty rough over all.

Here penguin

Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Sip-&-Surf Sunday - 05/19/13 03:28 PM

woot Congrats Joe!
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Sip-&-Surf Sunday - 05/19/13 04:26 PM

Woot Joe, glad you found some. How many points do you have now?
Posted by: Lotus777

Re: Sip-&-Surf Sunday - 05/19/13 04:50 PM

Hi Boomers! I hope you are enjoying your respective weekends!! I know you are Joe, those are awesome! bravo Sorta, you are hilarious! Of clowns and Priests...could be a very scary book title. Ana, thanks for the link. I now understand more of what is plaguing Merlin. I hope you can find one that will work for him. How is your kitty doing, Sharon? Must feel great to be at home! Hi L4L, Haroula, Gerry, venus, Gail, Connie, Space Quest and Soot. Hope today is a better one for you, Nan. Off I go to game a bit so Happy Gaming Everyone!! wave
Posted by: gymcandy1

Re: Sip-&-Surf Sunday - 05/19/13 08:54 PM

L4L my main case has 59 pieces in it. About 7 or 8 are ones that my Mom found.

Then I have another case with some more points, plus a lot of pieces of points, plus a collection of obsidion points that I bought.

Then I have the big case with all the knife/scraper tools that I have found.

yes joe
Posted by: venus

Re: Sip-&-Surf Sunday - 05/19/13 10:08 PM

Congratulations, Joe! woot

Thanks L4L and Nan! wave Co-worker wasn't there today, so I didn't have to worry about that. I told the manager I usually work with in the morning about how my manager told me "someone" was saying I wasn't doing my job. He couldn't believe someone would even say that, which made me feel better. yes And he's very willing to sign the document every day, listing every task I've completed. So hopefully, this will help my case quite a bit.

And now, I think I'll turn in early, so I can get plenty of rest for yet another fun filled, document signing day. lol

Good night, everyone. sleep
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Sip-&-Surf Sunday - 05/19/13 11:18 PM

Nice finds Joe!!! happydance

Ana hope the corner is being kind and moving right along.

Lotus much better, thanks!!

venus glad he will do that for you!! Best of Luck!!

Well time to check the eyelids for holes. Night everybody sleep well and pleasant dreams!!