Monday Mourning

Posted by: gymcandy1

Monday Mourning - 05/20/13 12:14 AM

Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
Rita Rudner

About Women
Women especially love a bargain. The question of 'need' is irrelevant, so don't bother pointing it out. Anything on sale is fair game.
Women never have anything to wear. Don't question the racks of clothes in the closet; you 'just don't understand'.
Women need to cry. And they won't do it alone unless they know you can hear them.
Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an effort to trap you into feeling guilty.
Women love to talk. Silence intimidates them and they feel a need to fill it, even if they have nothing to say.
Women need to feel like there are people worse off than they are. That's why soap operas and Oprah Winfrey-type shows are so successful.
Women don't need sex as often as men do. This is because sex is more physical for men and more emotional for women. Just knowing that the man wants to have sex with them fulfills the emotional need.
Women hate bugs. Even the strong-willed ones need a man around when there's a spider or a wasp involved.
Women can't keep secrets. They eat away at them from the inside. And they don't view it as being untrustworthy, providing they only tell two or three people.
Women always go to public restrooms in groups. It gives them a chance to gossip.
Women can't refuse to answer a ringing phone, no matter what she's doing. It might be the lottery calling.
Women never understand why men love toys. Men understand that they wouldn't need toys if women had an 'on/off' switch.
Women think all beer is the same.
Women keep three different shampoos and two different conditioners in the shower. After a woman showers, the bathroom will smell like a tropical rain forest.
Women don't understand the appeal of sports. Men seek entertainment that allows them to escape reality. Women seek entertainment that reminds them of how horrible things could be.
If a man goes on a seven-day trip, he'll pack five days worth of clothes and will wear some things twice; if a woman goes on a seven-day trip she'll pack 21 outfits because she doesn't know what she'll feel like wearing each day.
Women brush their hair before bed.
Watch a woman eat an ice cream cone and you'll have a pretty good idea about how she'll be in bed.
Women are paid less than men, except for one field: Modeling.
Women are never wrong. Apologizing is the man's responsibility, 'It's there in the Bible'. Hmmm, who was it that gave Adam the apple?
Women do not know anything about cars. 'Oil-stick, oil doesn't stick?'
Women have better restrooms. They get the nice chairs and red carpet. Men just get a large bowl to share.
The average number of items in a typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
Women love to talk on the phone. A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours.
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, or get the mail.
Women will drive miles out of their way to avoid the possibility of getting lost using a shortcut.
Women don't try as hard as men during sex; after all, they don't fall asleep afterwards.
Women do NOT want an honest answer to the question, 'How do I look?'
PMS stands for: Permissible Man-Slaughter. (Or at least men think it means that. PMS also stands for Preposterous Mood Swings and Punish My Spouse.
The first naked man a woman sees is 'Ken'.
Women are insecure about their weight, butt, and breast sizes.
Women will make three right-hand turns to avoid making one left-hand turn.
'Oh, nothing,' has an entirely different meaning in woman-language than it does in man-language.
Lewis Carroll's Caterpillar had nothing on women.
Women cannot use a map without turning the map to correspond to the direction that they are heading.
All women are overweight by definition; don't agree with them about it. Women always have 5 pounds to lose, but don't bring this up unless they really have 5 pounds to gain.
If it is not Valentines day and you see a man in a flower shop, you can probably start up a conversation by asking, 'What did you do?'
Only women understand the reason for 'guest towels' and the 'good china'.
Women want equal rights, but you rarely hear them clamoring to be let into the draft to cover the responsibilities that go with those rights. All women seek equality with men until it comes to sharing the closet, taking out the trash, and picking up the check.
If a man ticks off a woman she will often respond by getting a fuzzy toilet cover which warms their rear, but makes it impossible for the lid to stay up thus it constantly gets peed on by the guys. (which gets them in more trouble)
Women never check to see if the lid is up. They seem to prefer taking a flying butt leap towards the bowl and then chewing men out because they 'left the seat up' instead of taking two seconds and lowering it themselves.
Women can get out of speeding tickets by pouting. This will get men arrested.
Women don't really care about a sense of humor in a guy despite claims to the contrary. You don't see women trampling over Tom Cruise to get to Gilbert Gottfried, do you?
It's okay for women to dance with each other and not be gay. You don't see straight men dancing together.
Women will spend hours dressing up to go out, and then they'll go out and spend more time checking out other women. Men can never catch women checking out other men; women will always catch men checking out other women.
The most embarrassing thing for women is to find another woman wearing the same dress at a formal party. You don't hear men say, 'Oh-my-GOD, there's another man wearing a black tux, get me out of here!'

Acme Companies
Acme Rope, Inc. -
Knot your ordinary company.

Acme Mine Shafts -
Drop in any time

Acme Lollipops -
One lick and you'll stick with us.

Acme Light Company -
We have lots of bright ideas.

Acme Clown Make-up -
Let us put a smile on your face.

Acme Perfume Corp. -
We love it when business stinks.

Acme Air Conditioning -
We show people how to chill out.

Acme Toy Company -
Our work is kids' play.

Acme Perfume Company -
Our work is all dollars and scents.

Acme Almond Company -
We're nuts!

Acme Sheep Farm -
Our mind is on ewe.

Acme Calculators -
We help you solve your problems.

Acme Flower Bulbs -
We root for you.

Acme Psychologists -
Visit us and you won't go away mad!

Acme Poultry Management -
Let us count your chickens before they hatch.

Good morning everyboomie. welcome

A nuther week is upon us.

Time to take a deep breath and turn my shoulder toward work. rolleyes

"Lean into it my boy!"

"Put some muscle behind it."

This year for Christmas I'm asking for some roller skates, so I can skate around at work.....instead of waltzing around.

I love it when customers ask me if I "work in this department".

I say, "Actually I try and avoid doing any work at all, but I do help customers." "If I can't avoid that too." cool

Sixty one is no age to retrain my brain to be diligent. shame

I'm all about economy of motion.

I might have made a good great gigolo.....except for the bad back thing. blush

Can I say that here????? think

Have a happy day everyone.


Posted by: Haroula

Re: Monday Mourning - 05/20/13 02:21 AM

Good morning boomers,have all a hapy day. smile wave
Posted by: Kaki's Sister

Re: Monday Mourning - 05/20/13 04:42 AM

cat Good Morning Joe, Haroula and Cailyn. Joe hope work flies by. Haroula enjoy your day. Cailyn coffee is ready. Wishing All a Happy Day! cat
Posted by: cailyn

Re: Monday Mourning - 05/20/13 05:36 AM

Good morning Joe,Haroula,Gerry wave I slept late rahnow I'm headed to the gym!Gerry thanks for getting the coffee ready wave
Posted by: GBC

Re: Monday Mourning - 05/20/13 06:00 AM

Good Morning Boomers

Joe, thanks for the laughs.

Haroula, a happy day is wished.

Gerry, good day to you.

Cailyn, I slept later than usual this morning too.

A wonderful day is wished to all who enter. A trip to the grocery market this morning then a catch up on some gaming. chocobunny
Posted by: Kaki's Sister

Re: Monday Mourning - 05/20/13 06:03 AM

Good morning Cailyn and Gail. Your welcome Cailyn. Enjoy your time at the gym. Gail have fun gaming! Happy Day wished for everyone! wave
Posted by: venus

Re: Monday Mourning - 05/20/13 06:04 AM

Well, it's time for another work whoosh. wave Have a great Monday, everyone. spring
Posted by: connie

Re: Monday Mourning - 05/20/13 07:00 AM

Good morning everyone. We got up a bit later this morning too. Not sure what's on the agenda for today yet. To all here and all who follow, have a Great Monday. Danish, Pancakes, and Bacon Sandwiches in the NC. spring
Posted by: Midge

Re: Monday Mourning - 05/20/13 07:24 AM

Good morning. How is everyone today? I hope everybody and the four legged members of their familys are good. Thanks Connie for the pancakes. They are delicious. Morning Joe, Haroula, Gerry, Sue, Gail, venus, and all who stop in the diner today. I'm off to work tra la. See you later. Please find some time to

Midgie hearts
Posted by: Darlene

Re: Monday Mourning - 05/20/13 10:06 AM

wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! You crack me up! Have a great Monday!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Monday Mourning - 05/20/13 10:10 AM

Good morning boomies! It's a long corner day and of course it's dance night so I'll be out later to get my exercise in.

Joe, I'm not sure what it was but your comments "Time to take a deep breath and turn my shoulder toward work. rolleyes

"Lean into it my boy!"

"Put some muscle behind it." " gave me a vision that just had me laughing out loud sitting here. You make me smile. grin

Okay..time's up for me. I have to get to work. Have an awesome day everyone! Life is good!
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Monday Mourning - 05/20/13 10:48 AM

Ah Joe thanks for the laughs!! May work fly and those mowers sell!!

Haroula have a lovely day!

Gerry thanks for getting the coffee started! Have a lovely day!

Cailyn nice you were able to sleep in a little. Have fun at the gym and a lovely day!

Gail have fun grocery shopping and Happy Gaming!! It is still cloudy and windy and rainy here and has been for at least since Thursday so sounds like gaming here too.

venus have a fun day at work know what!!!!

Connie have fun what ever you find to do! Thanks for the treats.

Midge may work be fun! Have a lovely day!

Darlene may work fly and everything go smoothly!! Have a lovely day!

Ana may the corner be kind. May the puzzles be kinder. Have fun at class tonight!!

Posted by: Gimli

Re: Monday Mourning - 05/20/13 11:26 AM

Hello my Boomer friends wave

Internet came back yesterday evening after a storm and a lightning near our house, went out again after a few minutes and came back only 5 minutes ago, so I will make this short, not knowing when the line is vanishing again... rolleyes

We are well here in Italy, hubby and I, the weather is nasty most of the time but we have a lot of good books with us, so no problemo. We will drive back to Switzerland coming Sunday.

How are you all doing? I hope everything is fine with you all and that spring arrived in your corner of the world. Spring? It's almost summer time, and we had only a small glimpse of spring as yet. We heard that Tornado season started early in the States?! I hope all of you can stay out of the way of those heavy winds.

It's a holiday here today called Pentecost Monday. Hubby and I wanted to go to church this morning (it's a 30 minute walk down the hill) and were already 15 minutes on our way when we saw a huge rain wall (water curtain?) above the sea in the near distance (from an advancing storm). We turned around quickly and hurried UP the hill again (boy I was wheezing!) but, alas, after 10 minutes up-hill-scrambling to hurry home before the great water came upon us, the rain wall hit us fully from behind and we were wet to the underwear in the blink of an eye. Adventurous times! thumbsdown

Happy Monday-Funday to you all. Hope the line is behaving for the rest of our stay.


Posted by: Sorta Blonde

Re: Monday Mourning - 05/20/13 01:01 PM

Excitement last night!

Fireworks again being shot off across the street, BUT unhappily, some of them were coming from the front yard of my favorite Roofer guy's property. His daughter and son-in-law (sorta) and their 6 kids live in the front house. So every night they barbeque and all the kids run around, etc. Sooo last night, darn them, the SIL was shooting off some sort of rocket. He lit it and pointed it at the street and off it went. Just a huge bang (like a gunshot) and then no big poof or anything.

So now we have someone who I trusted, doing something stupid. BUT the fun part was after he shot off about 5 of those, the kids from across the street (the real, continuous culprits) started with the heavy stuff. Rockets in the sky and one HUGE boom near ground level with a major show of sparks.

THEN happily as I stewed and resisted calling the cops (I am always the one to call), a FIRE TRUCK, came in very quietly (no lights no sirens) and parked directly in front of the house where those kids live! Then they spotlighted the house and 4 firemen got out and walked to the house, went down their driveway to the lots in back. They used flashlights on the street, sidewalk and in neighbor's yards looking for 'stuff' and especially for fires. Our lawns and back areas are dead and tinder dry just waiting for a spark.

THEN 3 of the firemen walked directly to the Roofer's kids house! They talked to the guy for a few minutes and then one went across and down the street lighting up 3 more houses (where the fireworks appear behind). They talked to one family and then back to the truck.

THEN the firetruck turned around and drove on the wrong side of the rode and stopped directly in front of the Roofer's kids place. Wow. They chatted again and off they went.

THEN 2 police cars exited the street (probably were there all the time but I didn't see them). Now I'm wondering WHO called the fire dept? If it was the Roofer's kid, HE was also shooting off stuff. Wonder if he admitted it? OR if it was a house down the block where one fireman chatted, maybe it was them and the told the fireman about the Roofer's kid shooting off those rockets too.

Wonder wonder. Just waiting for whatever happens next. We usually have a HUGE display from the kiddos on July 4th. Maybe it won't happen this year. Crossing fingers and toes. So annoying and so scary with all the dry brush. scared
Posted by: Space Quest Fan

Re: Monday Mourning - 05/20/13 05:06 PM

Good afternoon Boomers. wave
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Monday Mourning - 05/20/13 05:06 PM

Oh Evelyne what a start to the day! eek Did you hang yourselves out to dry? lol Just kidding. Sending the Band for you when you and hubby head back next weekend! HUGS!!

Spring has only teased us here. If I head about ten or so miles out of town it is really nice but alas right here by good old Lake Superior the winds are strong and coming in off the lake keeping it in the 30's and 40'sF. One day though I am hoping for the wind to switch and come off the land and kwarm us up too.

Oh Sorta wow. Must have been one of those he said, they said, he said times. lol Wonder why they don't stop and concider those around them and how they lfeel about it. Good luck!

It is cold and windy and rainy but I might head out in a few to do some BINGO playing!! Time will tell.

Ana hope the project is going well for you!!

Posted by: gymcandy1

Re: Monday Mourning - 05/20/13 07:37 PM

Hey everybody. wave

I hope you all had a great far. yes

The storms are almost upon us here now. woot

Not sure how long they'll last.

Be back later. thumbsup

Posted by: Sorta Blonde

Re: Monday Mourning - 05/20/13 07:50 PM

Take care Joe!!! Stay safe. I am so worried about everyone in Oklahoma. Hope you have a shelter. scared
Posted by: Lotus777

Re: Monday Mourning - 05/20/13 09:26 PM

Oh dear! So much dread and terror out there today and still not over. Joe please be safe and everyone else in the vicinity of these horrible storms. I need some GameBoomer prayers for my sweet Mum. She had a TIA last night, a Transient Ischemic Attack, or a mild stroke. They think she has probably had several already. We were in the ER til one AM and she is still here with us. She seems normal but I won't let her leave tonight!! I just love her so much. We were told that she is very high risk for the very bad kinds of strokes so.... they did put her on high doses baby aspirin equaling only one to two adult ones each day and said it can be a deterrent. I feel kind of bad mentioning this when there is so much suffering going on elsewhere but she is my precious Mother. So may God be with everyone tonight and I hope you can check in later Joe and Drac and anyone else. Hi Evelyne, I've missed you!!
Happy Gaming. wave
Posted by: MaG

Re: Monday Mourning - 05/20/13 09:31 PM

Our prayers and good wishes are with you.
Take care and hugs.
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Monday Mourning - 05/20/13 09:35 PM

Lotus, prayers from here too. Times like these we want our loved ones closest and worry about them the most. hearts

Joe, please be careful, I am worried about you my friend. kissy
Posted by: Midge

Re: Monday Mourning - 05/20/13 09:48 PM

I agree with Ana. I hope everyone is safe tonight. Horrible weather. I'm heading for bed now. Sleep well everyone. See you tomorrow.

Midgie hearts
Posted by: Sorta Blonde

Re: Monday Mourning - 05/20/13 10:22 PM

Prayers coming your way Lotus. My mom had many TIA's a day for awhile. Was scary. Hope the aspirin helps.
Posted by: MaG

Re: Monday Mourning - 05/20/13 10:35 PM


Be careful not to have your mom get a cut.
I am on aspirin therapy also and cut my finger slicing some veggies tonight - took a long time to stop the bleeding. lol
Posted by: gymcandy1

Re: Monday Mourning - 05/20/13 10:37 PM

Hi again everyone. The storms were mostly North of us, although I lost my internet several times.

I watched them on radar and they were pretty fierce.

I pray there are no more deaths from them.

I need to get tomorrow's diner started so I can get to beddie bye.

Good night everybody. wave
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Monday Mourning - 05/20/13 10:41 PM

MaG, secret sauce on the cole slaw huh? lol Be careful!

joe, I hope you have a place to go if the sirens go off. hearts
Posted by: MaG

Re: Monday Mourning - 05/20/13 10:50 PM

Yes - but hubby still loved it. lol
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Monday Mourning - 05/20/13 11:07 PM

rotfl MaG! hearts
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Monday Mourning - 05/20/13 11:33 PM

Wow went to head out for BINGO and the bottom fell out and one could not see right in front of self, it rained so hard. Then it stopped and looked like it was brighter out and maybe clearing......wrong, it was getting ready for the bottom to drop out again. lol Glad I was inside!!! I won twice though!!

Joe you be safe there in those storms! Sleep well.

Aw Lotus HUGS!! Prayers headed up for mom!! Always hard thing.

Oh MaG lol Hope it heals quickly!!

Ana be ready to take cover as I was just looking at the radar and it looks like some nasty storms heading your direction!! Hope class was fun and the corner is going well.

Time here to say good night so.....night everybody sleep well and pleasant dreams!!

Posted by: Lotus777

Re: Monday Mourning - 05/21/13 12:06 AM

Thank you so much everyone for the love and the advice. Humm, think I will pass on the special sauce, MaG, but that is good to know, thank you. You guys are the very best group on the planet and I mean that. kissy I don't know why but what you said, Sorta, made me feel a little bit better too. Where's my tissues? I am so glad to hear from you too Joe, before I go to bed. Glad you are safe and sound. Big hugs to all of you and God Bless and to all a Good Night and, where did I put Tiny Tim?? I definitely need some sleep... woozy

Nan and Ana, didn't mean to leave you is really time for sleep!! Sweet Dreams.