Hump Day

Posted by: gymcandy1

Hump Day - 05/21/13 09:04 PM

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow women.
Groucho Marx

Animal Thoughts

After watching that imbecile on television who claims to know what common household pets are thinking, it was decided that we too, would do the impossible...

Dog "They keep putting the lid down on the big water bowl."

Goldfish "Just because I have a three-second memory, they don't think I'll mind eating the same fish flakes over and over............... Oh boy! Fish flakes!"

Dog "Man, why do they keep rubbing my nose in it? I already KNOW whose it is!"

Goldfish "The knight never comes out of the castle to fight me for dominion over the fish tank. So I must continue patrolling, for I am lord and master!"

Parrot "Tease, tease, tease! But do those greedy clowns ever really give me a cracker? HELL NO!"

Cat "Why are these people in my house?"

Dog "I don't care if you take the jewelry or money, but don't mess with the fridge."

Goldfish "Oh, tap-tap-tap! There's a new one!"

Cat "I wish he would stop kicking me down the stairs."

Dog "The 'pretending to throw a stick' game is getting old, but I seem unable to stop myself from looking for it."

Cat "Why did they put this service bell on my neck if they're not going to answer to it."

Dog "Why is the baby eating my food..."

Hamster "Kill me, this wheel is boring."

Iguana "Oh great, another day of being in this small little cage with my food bowl, my water and these annoying wood chips.

Dog "Man, my dog food looks exactly like my poo! Well if I'm ever hungry I'll know there's plenty for me in the backyard..."

Gerbil "OH NO, not again!"

Dog "I bet if he could do that, he wouldn't be telling me to stop."

Cat "Oh no, he's picking me up to do another 'land on all fours off the balcony' test again."

Bunny "I wonder if she will notice bunny pellets in her pillow case?"

Why Aren't You Married?
Comebacks to that all time favorite question "Why Aren't You Married Yet?"

You haven't asked yet.

I was hoping to do something meaningful with my life.

Because I just love hearing this question.

Just lucky, I guess.

It gives my mother something to live for.

My fianc´┐Że is awaiting his/her parole.

I'm still hoping for a shot at Miss/Mr. America.

Do you know how hard it is to get two tickets to Miss Saigon?

I'm waiting until I get to be your age.

It didn't seem worth a blood test.

I already have enough laundry to do, thank you.

Because I think it would take all the spontaneity out of dating.

My co-op board doesn't allow spouses.

I'd have to forfeit my billion dollar trust fund.

They just opened a great singles bar on my block.

I wouldn't want my parents to drop dead from sheer happiness.

I guess it just goes to prove that you can't trust those voodoo doll rituals.

What? And lose all the money I've invested in running personal ads?

I don't want to have to support another person on my paycheck.

Why aren't you thin?

I'm married to my career, although recently we have been considering a trial separation.

(Bonus reply for Single Mothers) Because having a husband and a child would be redundant.

Athelete Quotes
Here are some quotes from famous atheletes that most likely explain why they can't seem to get regular jobs...

1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: " I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the kids to copulate me."

2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season: "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."

3. And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skin's say: "I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl." Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."

4. Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins: "He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings.."

5. Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

6. Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh : "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." (Now that is beautiful)

7. Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up alphabetically by height. "And, "You guys pair up in groups of three, and then line up in a circle."

8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to prison: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton."

9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker: "That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."

10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning, regardless of what time it is."

11. Chuck Nevitt , North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt." (I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature in January)

12. Frank Layden , Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'"

13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."

14. In the words of NC State great Charles Shackelford I can go to my left or right, I am amphibious.

15. Amarillo High School and Oiler coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded: "Because she is too [blip] ugly to kiss good-bye."

Good morning everyboomie. welcome

It's a new day
It's a new dawn
Get out of bed
Get your groove on... penguin

Go forth and haveth a happius maximus day. wink

I expect a full report from each of you when I get back. snicker

Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Hump Day - 05/21/13 10:28 PM

Joe, early start means early off! yay Mine will be a boring story...corner, corner and more corner, then an Insanity class at night because I am a glutton for punishment. rotfl

Have a happy day everyone!
Posted by: Haroula

Re: Hump Day - 05/22/13 02:42 AM

Good morning Joe,Ana and all who come in later. wave
Have all a great day. smile spring
Posted by: cailyn

Re: Hump Day - 05/22/13 03:50 AM

Good morning Joe,Ana,Haroula waveCoffee is ready! Wishing everyone a sunshiney day spring
Posted by: Kaki's Sister

Re: Hump Day - 05/22/13 04:58 AM

wave Good Morning Joe, Ana, Haroula , Cailyn and everyone on their way to the Diner. Hope it's a nice day for All! wave
Posted by: connie

Re: Hump Day - 05/22/13 06:15 AM

Good morning everyone. Bank, BJ's, lunch out, and the grocery store are on the agenda for today. To all here and all who follow, have a Great Hump day. Danish, French Toast, and Omelets in the NC. spring
Posted by: Kaki's Sister

Re: Hump Day - 05/22/13 06:43 AM

I like lunch out to Connie! Enjoy! dance
Posted by: GBC

Re: Hump Day - 05/22/13 07:59 AM

Good Morning Boomers

Joe, wishing you an easy day at work.

Ana, enjoy your insanity class. lol

Haroula, happy day to you.

Cailyn, coffee please and thank you.

Gerry, have a good day!

Connie, I could never do BJ's and grocery store in one day. woozy

Rained hard this morning then stopped and sun came out. Church tonight. Wishing everyone a wonderful mid week. catrub
Posted by: soot

Re: Hump Day - 05/22/13 08:48 AM's to hoping your and my work day is brisk but quick

Ana..hmmmm, interesting class..I wonder if it's kin to L4L and my weekends with the boys?

Connie, Gail and anyone else out and about today be sure to drive safe

Cailyn, I'll have coffee on the drive to work as I'm currently enjoying a Shiny Green Smoothie that L4L made yesterday

Haroula and Gerry..and all that enjoy a wonderful day!

I'm off to work .. see you all later

Whoosh... wave
Posted by: Darlene

Re: Hump Day - 05/22/13 10:05 AM

wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Go forth and haveth a happius maximus day as well!! kissy

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

It's getting close to a 3-day weekend! happydance

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Hump Day - 05/22/13 11:12 AM

Joe hope you kslept fast and that work goes fast so you are home before you know it. Thanks for the chuckles.

Ana what can I say. lol Have fun at insanity!! Hope the corner moves right along for you!!

Haroula have a loverly day!

Cailyn thanks for the coffee. Is the campground busy yet??

Gerry have a nice day!

Connie have a fun time at lunch and get some good deals while shopping!! Thanks for the danish!

Gail no sun here and it has been nonstop rain for days now. Cold too as I could see my breath out there while walking with Sassy. lol Almost snowing weather. Have a lovely day!

Soot lol better cause the class is only so long. lol May work fly and go well.

Darlene yes we are getting closer. It seems so early though because of the way the days fall. May work fly and everything go smoothly! Have a lovely day!

Posted by: Sorta Blonde

Re: Hump Day - 05/22/13 12:17 PM

Ugh! I'm still glued to my TV set watching that trial. Thought for sure it would be over yesterday and then it fooled me again. Can't believe the twists and turns. Better than any soap opera. So sad that's it's real life and life is at stake.

EAting crackers and cream cheese for breakfast. I've GOT to go shopping!

All Indoorsie and Outdoorsies are accounted for. Lately 2 of the Outdoorises have been absent or coming when I am asleep I think. Today the entire crew was here and was HUNGRY. I think they all have been out hunting birds. Poor birds. One of them is being chased by crows so I think he found a nest and has been a bad boy.

One of the brought an 'offering' to the food dish yesterday. I saw him chewing on something before I fed everyone and found feathers in the empty dish. How nice of him to contribute. rotfl catrub
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Hump Day - 05/22/13 12:34 PM

Wonderful Wednesday ya'll puppy

I decided today was going to be a quiet, low key day. So I slept in a bit, got up and did a few good-for your tummy-yoga poses as tummy needs a good slap. Then worked on some clearing up and organizing recipes..though there are many more to do. Fed me, fed dogs, sipped good-for-your-tummy tea.

Son bopped out for hopefully his last double for a while. I'm going to walk up to the local grocery store as I want to walk, but it's too toooooo hot for the doggies. I'd feel too guilty to go to the park. So instead of driving I'm gonna take my life in my hands (or actually my feet) and walk. I so wish we had sidewalks. Remember those?

Per had his last soccer game last night. I think they should have ended a while ago. The kids ran for about the first 2 minutes of the game and then walked for the rest of it. It was hot (90 at 5:30). Per has decided that he likes Goalie 'cos he doesn't have to run and when he stops a ball, everyone cheers. lol

Back after my errand wave
Posted by: Lotus777

Re: Hump Day - 05/22/13 01:22 PM

Good Morning Friends! It is raining steadily here which is the norm except for the past few months we haven't had the norm so it is an alien sound from the skies, haha. I stopped planting things when they said it was going to be really cold also but now wish I had continued as it hasn't been too bad and this rain should help things to Grow...ugh, weeds too!! My sweet Mum is back at her house but I wish she would just stay with us. She is right next door but sometimes that feels so far away. This has affected her memory even more but thankfully she still knows us!! I go there many times a day. I suppose the only thing left to do with this dreary day is Game!!! So Happy Gaming everyone!! wave
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Hump Day - 05/22/13 04:26 PM

Back from my walk, which in spite of the traffic and howling wind was very nice. That is until I was almost home, and there was a fella mowing his dirt. I don't know what he was doing...there was no grass there and he spewed dirt and dust all the way across the street. My asthma so so so did not like it.

Now dishwasher is running and I am sitting and sipping for a second till time to make dinner.

So, while I was in the kitchen cutting and chopping and washing etc, I discovered I needed a 2 liter container. Called hubby to ask him to pick up one on his way home. He reminded me that there were probably some in the garage. So chatting away, I pop out to the garage and look around. I come back in and Whooop Whooop Whoop, there goes the house alarm. My blood pressure shoots up, I yell at hubby "I'm heading up to get my gun." and hang up.

As I'm running upstairs, looking around, trying to figure out why the dogs are not going nuts I realize, It was me! I set off the motion alarm in the garage rotfl So called the alarm company to tell them not to send the police and then called hubby back to tell him I was fine. blush
Posted by: Space Quest Fan

Re: Hump Day - 05/22/13 04:30 PM

Good afternoon Boomers. wave
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Hump Day - 05/22/13 04:52 PM

Afternoon Space, what's up for you tonight? wave
Posted by: Yankee Clipper

Re: Hump Day - 05/22/13 06:05 PM

Don't feel badly about the alarm L4L because I've done that 2 times at my daughter's home in Corpus and in the early morning at that and her cats freak out and her dog barkbarkbark and she doesn't like to get up at 9 or so. Gosh, I felt awful. nothing like mooother to do something like that.

This AM at the vets one of the vet's assistants was wearing a fingerless copper glove so of course we bonded. The copper is mixed in with the fabric somehow. She gave me the name and claimed they are fantastic so I've ordered a pair. Copper bands are an old timey remedy for arthritis. Now if I can find a pair with hornet's venom.....If they work I'll let you know.

Well, I can play cmptr games now however the game I just bought wouldn't download properly due to an error of some kind. Dang!!! So, don't laugh, I'm playing Halo 1 and it's 10 years old. I bet it's been 8 years when I 1st played that game. It's kinda clunky but you get used to that. My right thumb isn't quite opposable enough yet to handle a PS controller, maybe soon.

Bye for now
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Hump Day - 05/22/13 06:26 PM

Sorta you didn't mention but were you "bang,bang" free again last night???

rotfl L4l I can just picture that. Glad it was only you though.

Yankee I hope that it works for ya!!!

Posted by: gymcandy1

Re: Hump Day - 05/22/13 06:35 PM

Hey everybody. wave

I got off at 2:00, but joy oh joy we had a specialist meeting that lasted 2 HOURS!!!!! mad

So, I got off at 4:00 actually, but you know what? Tomorrow is Friday and I'm scheduled 5 to 2 so guess when I'm leaving tomorrow (?). grin

Now, I'm already behind the 8 ball for getting ready and getting to bed, so I'm off to start another day for ya. thumbsup

Here's hoping your evening is nice and restful. sleep

Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Hump Day - 05/22/13 06:53 PM

Yankee, I love your attitude. You go girl! thumbsup

Nan, me too. Did you get sun today?

Joe, gotta love those meetings. I hope you are planning to go to lunch at 12 tomorrow and make it a very very long one!

edit: Dinner dined. Thai Pumpkin yummy! While I was in the midst of chopping and measuring our credit card company called. Apparently our number has been compromised and someone was having a charging good time. So, now cancelled. <Sigh> We are so very careful. Wish I knew how they got it.

Anyway, dogs fed and now watching NCIS. Such a good one! wave
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Hump Day - 05/22/13 09:38 PM

I have become an Insanity junkie. lol I haven't had this kind of a challenge in a long time. I love it! I think one of the really fun things is being able to do the whole thing while some the half my age members are dropping like flies. rotfl

Back to work for me....
Posted by: Space Quest Fan

Re: Hump Day - 05/22/13 09:54 PM

Good night Boomers. wave
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Hump Day - 05/22/13 10:12 PM

Ana bravo

Night Quest Sweet dreams.

Time for us to head up also. Sleep well all sleep
Posted by: Darlene

Re: Hump Day - 05/22/13 10:23 PM


Home, fed, NCIS'd...

Very productive day. Feels good...

Alrighty, off to see what's afoot!
Posted by: Midge

Re: Hump Day - 05/22/13 10:32 PM

I had a great day off. So refreshed. See you tomorrow.

Midgie hearts sleep
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Hump Day - 05/22/13 11:49 PM

L4l just in time to slip away for another day. lol

Ana helps ya feel better after sitting all day working.

Night Space and Midge sleep well.

Darlene always a good feeling!!

Time here to say good.

Night all sleep well and pleasant dreams!