GB HOMEPAGE

Memorial Monday

Posted By: gymcandy1

Memorial Monday - 05/27/13 05:12 AM

How beautiful is death, when earn'd by virtue!
Who would not be that youth? What pity is it
That we can die but once to serve our country!
Joseph Addison (1672 - 1719), "Cato", Act 4, Scene 4, 1713
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Technical Support
Techronia Technical Support Services
"The world of technology can be difficult for some." - Press Release

We offer a range of quality services to satisfy any possible technical support requirement. Time and time again, companies rely on our services to fish their workers out of daily situations and problems. Most companies only give you the "royal shaft" treatment, Techronia gives you the answers. We probe deep into the partially working minds of our clients and delve into their shallow waters to discover what they want from us. Whether it's the fact that they are incapable of figuring out a device like the "mouse" that 6.7 million other people know how to use, or finding that ever elusive power switch for the monitor, we are here to help.

Lets look at just some of the service offerings available from Techronia at competitive industry rates...

Techronia Phone Support

When the statement "Click Here" isn't clear enough; when "Press any key to continue..." doesn't provide enough options; when "Are you sure you wish to format non-removable device?" is just not informative enough, Techronia will be there. Tony Pallers explains, "It was about 3:45pm and we received a call from what we classify here as a Loser User... ", stopping momentarily to reminisce he continues in the sound of the users voice, "I have lost all my files! I go to drive 'A' just like the book says, and the computer says there is nothing there!" Tony continues in his normal voice, "I asked the user if he took the disk in drive A out. The user on the other end of the phone is silent for a few seconds and replies, 'yeah, why do you ask?' To which I replied, "BECAUSE YOUR FILES ARE ON THAT DISK IDIOT!" Quick, accurate service makes Techronia, support firm chart topper for the past 5 years.
Techronia Priority Out Of Hours [blip] Service

"I remember one client calling... It was about 2am and he used our Priority Out of Hours Service... He called saying that his screen was blank, his mind was blank, and he needed to start writing a presentation due to management the next morning." recalls technician Bob Goldbalm. "We immediately provided a solution, by asking the user to plug the computer in, "For the thing to work, just plug it in, moron!". "It's moments like this, to hear the squeals of glee from this moron that make me feel like I am doing my job." says Bob shaking his head in disbelief.
Techronia Group Therapy

It doesn't just end at simple phone support for our customers... Since things like, undeleteing files clients so recklessly deleted isn't always possible, we offer stupidity consultations. We open up user groups to talk about where their stupidity originated. Heredity, social status, the fact that they received a pink slip 3 weeks ago but are still working for the company, are all group discussion topics that bring subjects into the open. Although most of the clients are irreparably moronic for the rest of their lives, we can look at ways of curving the impact of their truly stupid acts from effecting the remainder of the company.
Techronia Out of Hours On-Site

It was about 11:30 on a Sunday morning, when I get a request to go onto a client site. When I arrive, a man flailing his arms comes up to me and states, "I'm trying to print this document!...And the printer wont work! Why can't you guys get this printing thing right?" the user said. I approached the printer, pointed to it, and said, "Do you know what that blinking red light next to 'PAPER JAM' means?", to which there was the usual pause and, "No?" Opening the printer I exclaimed, "It means there is a stupid paper jam, as in open the printer, and take the paper out, idiot." Our on-site support not only resolves the immediate problem, but helps instruct the user on how to resolve the problem in future incidences, rather then resorting to their usual complete display of arrogance.
For further information on these and many other services, contact 1-800-DUM-USER
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Most Embarrassing

The following are the top four winners from a "Most Embarrassing Moments" contest:


2. "It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was living at home, but my parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over for a romantic night alone. As we laying in bed, we heard the telephone ring downstairs. I suggested to my
girlfriend that I give her a piggyback ride to the phone. Since we didn't want to miss the call, we didn't have time to get dressed. When we got to the bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on and a whole crowd of people yelled, 'SURPRISE!' My entire family--aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, and all my friends were standing there! My girlfriend and I were frozen in a state of shock and embarrassment for what seemed like an
eternity. Since then, no one in my family has planned a surprise party again."

3. "One of the funniest "most-embarrassing-moment" stories I've come upon in a long time was about a lady who picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for all the store to
hear: 'PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN. TAMPAX, SUPERSIZE.' That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word 'Tampax' for 'THUMBTACKS.' In a business like tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom: 'DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?'"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stupid Questions

As far as stupid questions go, these are the stupidest...


1. Why does your gynecologist leave the room when you undress?

2. If a person owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way down to the center of the earth?

3. Why can't woman put their mascara on with their mouth closed?

4. Why is it called alcoholics anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say
"hi, my name's Bob. I'm an alcoholic"?

5. If you mated a Bulldog with a Shitsu would you get a Bullshit?

6. Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?

7. Why is there a light in the fridge but not in the freezer?

8. Why does mineral water that has trickled through mountains for centuries
have a use by date?

9. Why do toasters always have a setting on them which burns your toast to a
horrible crisp no one would eat?

10. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say "I think i'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?

11. What do people in China call their good plates?

12. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

13. Why does Goofy stand on two legs when Pluto remains on four? They're both dogs.

14. What do you call male ballerinas?

15. Can blind people see their dreams and do they dream?

16. If Wile E coyote has enough money to by all that Acme [blip] why doesn't he buy his dinner?

17. Why is a person who handles money called a broker?

18. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

19. If corn oil is made from corn and vegetable oil is made from vegetables. What is baby oil made from?

20. If a man is walking in a forest and no women is there to hear him is he still wrong?

21. Why is it that when someone tells you that there's billions of stars in the universe,
you believe them. But if they tell you there's wet paint somewhere you have to touch it?

22. Why do you call it an asteroid when its outside the hemisphere, yet call it hemorrhoid when its in your ass?

23. Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome

Happy Memorial Day! USA

As long as I've been in retail I don't remember ever having a Memorial Day OR Veteran's Day off. smirk

My sister says, "Why should YOU get Veteran's Day off? You're not even a Veterinarian. taz

"No but I still like animals." cool

As you might have guessed, I work today oops no, I mean tonight from 2:00 to 11:00.

I'm sure we'll be outta there by 10:00. thumbsup

Anyway it's two down, two to go, then two off. dance

The thought of two days off will carry me through the next two nights. yay

I hope you all have a memorable day.

joe USA
Posted By: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Memorial Monday - 05/27/13 05:40 AM

Thanks for your service Joe, it is much appreciated. hearts I hope that the customers are kind to you today.

I have a houseful of people today. hearts Life is good.

Ana wave
Posted By: traveler

Re: Memorial Monday - 05/27/13 08:29 AM

The answer to #20 is Yes.

Gil.
Posted By: Kaki's Sister

Re: Memorial Monday - 05/27/13 10:10 AM

USA Good Morning Joe, Ana and traveler. Coffee is on.Hope you all have a wonderful day! USA
Posted By: Haroula

Re: Memorial Monday - 05/27/13 10:26 AM

Good Morning Joe, Ana , traveler, Gerry and all wave
Have a nice day. smile
Posted By: Kaki's Sister

Re: Memorial Monday - 05/27/13 11:22 AM

wave Good Morning and happy Day to you Haroula! wave
Posted By: connie

Re: Memorial Monday - 05/27/13 12:18 PM

Good morning everyone. No special plans for the day. To all here and all who follow, have a Great Memorial Day. A Big Thanks to all who serve and all who have served our country. USA Danish, Cinnamon Buns, and Omelets with Home Fries and Toast in the NC. spring
Posted By: Leeana

Re: Memorial Monday - 05/27/13 01:43 PM

Good Morning to all my Boomie friends ... MaG the flag on the Gameboomers is flown so high, smile like angels above us .... Thank You, smile
Joe this board is always full of Great little sayings and a Joke or two I really Want you to know how appreciated I'm to come here and read them smile Thank You ....
and I too want to say .....Thank You to all who served the USA and a SPECIAL Thank You to my Deceased Dad (Army) and My Husband who is deceased (Vietnam)
Thank You both for without you I would not be here today smile USA
Posted By: Space Quest Fan

Re: Memorial Monday - 05/27/13 02:50 PM

Loved the stupid questions Joe. lol
Posted By: venus

Re: Memorial Monday - 05/27/13 03:00 PM

Happy Memorial Day, everyone. USA Spending the day with fiance today, since we're both off. We're getting ready for a late breakfast right now. thumbsup Hope everyone here has a terrific day. spring
Posted By: gymcandy1

Re: Memorial Monday - 05/27/13 03:03 PM

Good morning everybody. wave

How is everyone doing this fine day? happydance

It's a nice sunny breezy day here, but it's gonna heat up to around 90 later.

I imagine work today will be busy and grueling. razz

I can't wait. rolleyes

We haven't even gotten into Summer yet and I'm hating the heat already. sherlock

I hope it's a nice relaxing for everyone in BoomerLand. yes

USA joe
Posted By: Sorta Blonde

Re: Memorial Monday - 05/27/13 05:09 PM

Gonna be a super nice day here. Going to the 'tool' store to use some free coupons and then off to the Marina (2 streets away) to walk around the bay. Beautiful there. Birds and squirrels and ocean and boats and hopefully not too many running screaming kids on the sidewalk that goes all the way around. Last time we got run into by a pack of happy kids.

STILL no firecrackers since last Monday. It's been a whole week of quiet. Hope saying that doesn't jinx the whole thing. We see the kids that do it all over the street playing so I'm thinking maybe tonight. I've got my phone on speed dial for the cops this time and neighbor will call too on the very first POP.

Everyone have a safe and happy Memorial Day!
Posted By: auntiegram

Re: Memorial Monday - 05/27/13 05:13 PM

Joe thanks so much for the laughs this morning. May work fly and hope you can leave a little early!!

Ana have a lovely time with the full house. Hope all the prep is finished and you may relax and enjoy the company!

No plans here as my daughter did the BBQing yesterday and it is a good thing too. Yesterday was cool and windy but the sun was shining. Today it is cloudy and cold and really windy!! lol

lol Gil!! Have a great day!

Haroula have a lovely day!

Gerry thanks for getting the cofee going!! Have a lovely day!

venus enjoy the day with fiance!!

Connie have a lovely day and thanks for the danish!!

Leeana have a lovely day!!

Space have a lovely day!!

Prayers for the Band of Angels around all those who might be traveling today for what ever reason. May you have a safe and fun travel.

USA
Nan
Posted By: looney4labs

Re: Memorial Monday - 05/27/13 06:32 PM

Magnificent Memorial Day Monday to you all USA

Hubby and I slept in a bit and then bopped out to the park with the monkeys. It was hot hot hot out there, and the 4 legged ones were tired and panting.

Then home to make smoothies and eat breakfast and feed doggies. We always leave son some smoothie but he does not like to eat early in the morning so this morning we drank it all. Just as I got the kitchen cleaned up, he came up looking for his. rotfl

So I decided to try a different recipe that had only a few ingredients. Made it, took one sip, and poured it down the sink. Bitter bitter bitter. So then made an easier one which I knew we liked.

Then up to my room to get my Fire for the Cullymonkey and now finally, sitting and sipping happydance

We are going to go to another ballgame this afternoon. It will super hot as the game is at 2. Then home to grill some baby back ribs and some corn and collapse.

I'm going to need all the energy I can find cos tomorrow is non-stop from start to finish. Wednesday we leave to go to Ohio to visit daughter. Her promotion ceremony is Thursday and she had her heart set on our being there. We will take the 2 youngest 4 legged monkeys with us and son will watch the elder 2.

Thanks Joe for opening for us.

Ana, have fun and enjoy!

Gil rotfl

Morning Gerry...

Haroula, how is life?

Connie, homefries happydance

Leanna, I'll second that!

Quest, are you off today?

Venus, enjoy!

Sorta, I hope the quiet continues.

Nan, I hope you have a great day and summer finds you eventually.

Time to scramble and get out to the game. See you when we get back wave
Posted By: Yankee Clipper

Re: Memorial Monday - 05/27/13 08:38 PM

Going get to 91 today -sunny and breezy -oh bring on summer. Kitties, doggy and I will be spending a quiet holiday and perhaps enjoy some epicurian delights -like chocolate dipped fruit bars (coconut) on a stick and special pet treats. BTW the fruitbars for me and teas for the 4-leggers.

Those enduring the cold, take care of yourselves and everybody celebrate Memorial Day.

On to thejigsawpuzzles .com and then Halo
Posted By: Sorta Blonde

Re: Memorial Monday - 05/27/13 09:04 PM

Oh Yankee, 91 degrees! Hope it's a dry heat. We are still in the high 60's low 70's. Very comfy outside. Going to sit on my porch swing and dream away the day.
Posted By: Haroula

Re: Memorial Monday - 05/27/13 09:05 PM

sleep wave
Posted By: Space Quest Fan

Re: Memorial Monday - 05/28/13 01:10 AM

See you all tomorrow. wave
Posted By: looney4labs

Re: Memorial Monday - 05/28/13 01:31 AM

Well, back from the game. Had fun! We lost but both boys got a foul ball so they are happy.

Came home and finished the ribs, cooked some corn, and made some cole slaw. Now off to get hubby to mark my slacks for the ceremony so I can hem them. wave
Posted By: soot

Re: Memorial Monday - 05/28/13 01:57 AM

Mark slacks... headscratch
Posted By: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Memorial Monday - 05/28/13 02:02 AM

The party is over, the house is quiet, just me and the dogs. hearts I'm tired....

I hope you all are having a great day!
Posted By: luv2travel

Re: Memorial Monday - 05/28/13 02:42 AM

Hope your Memorial Day was a special one! USA
I brought home my puppy, Remy, yesterday. I've been so busy! He's so active! It's the best though when he gets tired and curls up in my lap for a nap! puppy
I finished the latest and last book in Charlaine Harris' Sookie Stackouse (True Blood) series today. I thought it finished logically and quite well.
Saturday I went to see the new Star Trek movie, and it was very good. One of the best I've seen of that genre. Well written and well acted.
My 4 cats don't know what to make of the new addition. LOL! lol
Andrea wave
Posted By: Midge

Re: Memorial Monday - 05/28/13 03:33 AM

I had a great day. Worked tonight for a few hours. Happy Memorial Day all. Thanks for your service for all our service paople. See you in the morning. I have the morning off.

Midgie sleep
Posted By: Lotus777

Re: Memorial Monday - 05/28/13 03:40 AM

Just want to say Hello. Busy, busy here..now checking on my Mum many times a day..everything changed so rapidly. Looks like everyone had a pretty good weekend here. Quiet and raining the NW. Very windy earlier. Gaming today has been nice in between other things. Time to relax some. Sweet Dreams and Happy Gaming.... wave sleep
Posted By: auntiegram

Re: Memorial Monday - 05/28/13 04:11 AM

Night everybody sleep well and pleasant dreams!

sleep
Nan
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