Posted by: gymcandy1

Saturdiner - 06/07/13 11:11 PM

Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternatives.
Maurice Chevalier
On 77th birthday.

Great news for all of us that hate drinking our 8 glasses of water a day!

In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. coli) bacteria found in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of Poop.

However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine (or rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.

Remember: Water = Poop, Wine = Health

Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of pit, I mean poop.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I'm doing it as a public service!

Sometime after Sidney died, his widow, Tillie, was finally able to speak about what a thoughtful and wonderful man her late husband had been.

"Sidney thought of everything," she told them. "Just before he died, Sidney called me to his bedside. He handed me three envelopes. 'Tillie,' he told me, 'I have put all my last wishes in these three envelopes. After I am dead, please open them and do exactly as I have instructed. Then, I can rest in peace'."

"What was in the envelopes?" her friends asked.

"The first envelope contained $5,000 with a note, 'Please use this money to buy a nice casket.' So I bought a beautiful mahogany casket with such a comfortable lining that I know Sidney is resting very comfortably."

"The second envelope contained $10,000 with a note, 'Please use this for a nice funeral 'I arranged Sidney a very dignified funeral and bought all his favorite foods for everyone attending."

"And the third envelope?" asked her friends. "The third envelope contained $25,000 with a note, 'Please use this to buy a nice stone.'"

Holding her hand in the air, Tillie said... "So, do you like my stone?" showing off her 10 carat diamond ring.

A lady is having a bad day at the tables in Vegas. Down to her last $100, completely exasperated, she cries, "What rotten luck! What in the world should I do now?"

A gent next to her, trying to calm her down a bit, calmly suggests, "I don't know... Why don't you play your age?"

He walks away. Moments later, his he is intrigued to hear a great commotion at the roulette table. Maybe, she won!

Rushing back to the table and pushing his way through the crowd, he is stunned to see the lady lying limp on the floor, with the table operator kneeling over her.

He asks, "What happened? Is she all right?"

The operator replies, "I don't know, buddy.... She put all her money on 29. When 36 came up she fainted!"

Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door.
"Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've somethin' to tell ya".
"Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim. But where's my husband?"
"That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda."
There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery..."
"Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me."
"I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry.
Finally, she looked up at Tim. "How did it happen, Tim?"
"It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout and drowned."
"Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me true, Tim. Did he at least go quickly?"
"Well, Brenda... no. In fact, he got out three times to take a bathroom break."

Two Scottish nuns had just arrived to the US by boat when one said to the other, "I heard that the occupants of this country actually eat dogs."
"Odd," her companion replied, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do." Nodding emphatically, the mother superior pointed to a hot dog vendor and they both walked towards it. "Two dogs, please," said one.

The vendor was only too pleased to oblige and he wrapped both hot dogs in foil. Excited, the nuns hurried over to a bench and began to unwrap their 'dogs'. The mother superior was first to open hers, then, stared at it for a moment, leaned over to the other nun and whispered cautiously, "What part did you get?"

Three women were in the waiting room of a gynecologist, and each of them was knitting a sweater for their baby-to-be. The first one stopped and took a pill.

"What was that?" The others asked her.

"Oh, it was Vitamin C - I want my baby to be healthy."

A few minutes later, another woman took a pill.

"What was that?" the others asked.

"Oh, it was iron - I want my baby to be big and strong."

They continued knitting. Finally the third woman took a pill.

"What was that?" the others asked her.

"It was Thalidomide," she said, "I just can't get the arms right on this sweater!"

Good morning everybeautifulboomie. wave

Welcome to the weekend! yay

dance We're dancing. We're dancing. dance

Oh Oh Oh....leg cramps... shocked

Easy on the dancing there Joe Travolta. blush

I need a hot tub.

It'll go perfect with this hot weather. razz

Have a hot happy day everybody. rah

Gotta iron the wrinkles outta my pom poms now.

Posted by: Space Quest Fan

Re: Saturdiner - 06/07/13 11:31 PM

Thanks for the jokes Joe. lol
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Saturdiner - 06/07/13 11:47 PM

Joe, get your cowboy boots and hat and come out dancing with me tonight!

SpaceQ, hope you get to sleep in!

My sister is coming early and we'll be biking until she can't anymore. After that it's time for Sam's bachelorette party. woot

Have a great day everyone!

Ana wave
Posted by: Haroula

Re: Saturdiner - 06/08/13 02:48 AM

Good morning Joe,SQF,Ana and all who come in later wave
Have all a nice day. happydance
Posted by: Kaki's Sister

Re: Saturdiner - 06/08/13 04:34 AM

Good Morning Joe, Ana, SpaceQ and Haroula. Joe drink lots of watr you maybe getting dehydrated which can cause leg cramps. Ana sounds like a fun day ahead for you. Haroula enjoy your day. Coffee is ready Cailyn. Chilly, damp and rainy here. We had almost 4 inches of rain yesterday. Wishing everyone a great day! wave
Posted by: connie

Re: Saturdiner - 06/08/13 06:15 AM

Good morning everyone. Not sure what's on the agenda for the day yet. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Saturday. Danish, Cinnamon Buns, Fruit Cups, Waffles, and Omelets in the NC. spring
Posted by: GBC

Re: Saturdiner - 06/08/13 06:57 AM

Good Morning Boomers

Space, good morning.

Ana, enjoy biking and Sam's party.

Haroula, happy day!

Gerry, thanks for the coffee. Same weather here,

Connie, Danish is most welcomed. Hope whatever you decide to do is fun.

Rainy, dreary weather here. Hope it clears up. Going out to lunch with the girls then some fun shopping. Wishing everyone a fun day!
Posted by: Space Quest Fan

Re: Saturdiner - 06/08/13 08:46 AM

Good morning Joe, Ana, Haroula, Gerry, Connie, and Gail.
It is a cold morning here today. I hope everyone has a great day. smile
Posted by: gymcandy1

Re: Saturdiner - 06/08/13 09:20 AM

Good morning everybody. wave

It's bright, and abundantly sunny here in Okieland. yes

I'm sitting here sipping on my coffee, and contemplating what I want to do today.

Ana can you do the Cotton-eyed Joe? kissy

"Grab your partner Doesey Doe" happydance

I haven't mentioned it yet, but we've had another dog left on our door step.

This one is a huge black Lab.

About three days ago I got up at 3:30am to get ready for work, and I heard this dog whining. I thought it was Baby, but I looked and it was not her.

I opened the front door and here was this huge dog staring me in the face and wanting in the house. eek

I went out to greet him and he was so happy to greet me back.

After I went back in the house he sat out there barking to get in.

I think he was raised to always stay inside.

He barks and whines incessantly.......almost.

Yesterday he went with Baby and I to the creek, and as soon as he saw the water he was like "WATER!!! Oh boy let's play!" He ran back and forth through the water with unabashed glee. lol

Last night he sat outside of mine and my sister's windows barking and wanting in.

I feel so sorry for him being abandoned by the people that he trusted, and loved, but we can't keep him. My sister is trying to find someone to take him.

If he is in the garage, Mom can hardly get out the back door to the laundry room. The dog can knock her down if the just bumps her. smirk

Time will tell I guess.

I hope everyone here has a fantastic day. thumbsup

Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Saturdiner - 06/08/13 12:47 PM

AW Joe, don't ya just hate it when people do that?? What a shame. Prayers that your sis finds hime a good home where he is wanted.

Have fun if you head out to do some hunting!! Thanks for the chuckles.

Ana have a lovely, lovely bike ride and a very fun time tonight line-dancing!!! Glad you have some time out of the corner!!

Haroula have a lovely day!

Space I hope it warms up for you!! Enjoy the weekend.

Gerry thanks for the coffee! Have a lovely day!

Connie have a lovely day what ever you do today! Thanks for the danish!

Gail have a lovely ktime shopping with the girls and enjoy lunch!!

No plans here...yet!!!

Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Saturdiner - 06/08/13 01:57 PM

Super Saturday guys

Hubby woke up early but let me sleep. When I finally got up, we took off for the park. My silly Ipod was being cantankerous but I finally convinced it that it should play my book. We had a hot hot walk, and the dogs were happy to collapse onto the tile and concrete floors.

A shower and smoothie later and I'm a new woman. Son and kids are up and I've been up and down the stairs a dozen times. 10,000 steps will be a piece of cake tonight.

As soon as I post, I'm going to my bedroom to weed through little boy clothes. Found em all, washed em all, and now I need to sort to see what we need to buy. Hopefully, nothing. whistle

Aww Joe, he just wants in to be with the pack he has decided is his. Are you guys feeding him? Labs can be goofy, but they can learn not to be rambunctious in the house if you have the time to train em. They are strong dogs and usually very direct, so I do understand your worry about your mom. You should train Baby to sniff out points. puppy

Ana, have fun with your sister wave

Off to work on clothes puppy
Posted by: gymcandy1

Re: Saturdiner - 06/08/13 02:21 PM

Hey everybody. wave

It was a perfect morning for head hunting as it was not too hot, nor was it humid. The creek is still a bit too high, and the water is still a bit too murky. It was hard to look in the creek per say, but I had lots of sand bar area that has had the flood water flowing over it.

That is where I found this little point. yay

Before I found that one though, I found the most perfect point that I have found to date.

It is a museum quality Corner Notched Point.

I was unbelievably excited when I found it. penguin

I hope you're all enjoying your weekend. woot

Posted by: soot

Re: Saturdiner - 06/08/13 03:31 PM

Wow..that's really neat

Hi gang .. I am home from chores and projects for Saturday and now it's time for some Danish, coffee, music and gardening .. and then later this afternoon we're off to catch a baseball game woot

Have a wonderful day Joe, L4L (hearts) Nan, SQF, Gail, Connie, Gerry, Haroula and Ana

Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Saturdiner - 06/08/13 03:34 PM

Joe, those are amazing wave

Soot hearts
Posted by: Haroula

Re: Saturdiner - 06/08/13 03:54 PM

sleep wave
Posted by: soot

Re: Saturdiner - 06/08/13 05:25 PM

Good night Haroula wave

See you tomorrow laugh
Posted by: gymcandy1

Re: Saturdiner - 06/08/13 05:59 PM

Good night Haroula. wave

Thanks L4L & Soot. wave

Posted by: Midge

Re: Saturdiner - 06/08/13 10:22 PM

Joe you find such amazing things. Thanks for sharing. I haven't posted today before now. Not feeling very well but I feel better tonight. I'm glad I have a doctor's appointment the end of the month.

Time to call it a night. Early shift in the morning. See you then.

Midgie sleep
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Saturdiner - 06/09/13 12:28 AM

Very nice finds today, Joe!!! Congrats!!

Midge HUGS! Prayers that you are feeling better in the morning!!

Time here to take Sassy out one last time for the night and then "hit the hay".

Night everybody sleep well and pleasant dreams.

Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Saturdiner - 06/09/13 02:37 AM

Joe, those are awesome!

Ana wave