Monday Monday

Posted by: gymcandy1

Monday Monday - 06/09/13 07:39 PM

Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home.
Bill Cosby (1937 - )

Rejected Hallmark Cards

"Looking back over the years that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder:...
-- What was I thinking?"

"Congratulations on your wedding day!...
-- Too bad no one likes your wife."

"How could two people as beautiful as you....
-- have such an ugly baby?"

"I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love...
-- After having met you, I've changed my mind."

"I must admit, you brought Religion in my life...
-- I never believed in Hell until I met you."

"As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
-- that you're not here to ruin it for me."

"As you grow older, Mum, I think of all the gifts you've given me...
-- Like the need for therapy."

"Thanks for being a part of my life!!!...
-- I never knew what evil was before this!"

"Before you go,...
I would like you to take this knife out of my back.
-- You'll probably need it again."

"Someday I hope to get married...
-- but not to you."

"You look great for your age...
-- Almost Lifelike!"

"When we were together, you always said you'd die for me...
-- Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise."

"I knew the day would come when you would leave me for my best friend...
-- So here's his leash, water bowl and chew toys."

"We have been friends for a very long time...
-- What do you say we call it quits?"

"I'm so miserable without you...
-- It's almost like you're here."

"Congratulations on your new bundle of joy...
-- Did you ever find out who the father was?"

"You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket...
-- I'd miss you heaps and think of you often."

Good And Great Friends

A good friend will bail you out of jail.

A great friend will be in the cell next to you saying,"[blip], that was fun!"

I recently picked a new primary care physician. After two visits and
exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly well" for my age. A
little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, "Do
you think I'll live to be 80?"

He asked, "Well, do you smoke tobacco or drink beer/wine?"

"Oh no," I replied. "I've never done either."

Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?"

I said "No, I've heard that all red meat is very unhealthy!"

"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing,
ballooning, or rock climbing ?"

"No, I don't," I said.

He said, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or sexually fool around?"

"No," I said. "I've never done any of those things."

He looked at me and said, "Then why do you care if you live to be

Arabic Ad

A disappointed salesman of Coca Cola returns from his Middle East assignment.

A friend asked, "Why weren't you successful with the Arabs?".
The salesman explained, "When I got posted in the Middle East, I was very confident that I will makes a good sales pitch as Cola is virtually unknown there. But, I had a problem I didn't know to speak Arabic. So, I planned to convey the message through 3 posters... First poster, a man crawling through the hot desert sand... Totally exhausted and panting. Second poster, the man is drinking our Cola and Third, our man is now totally refreshed. Then these posters were pasted all over the place".

"That should have worked," said the friend.

The salesman replied, "Well, not only did I not speak Arabic, I also didn't realise that Arabs Read from Right to Left..."

Oklahoma Crash

Oklahoma's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Oklahoma search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night.

Retirement Center

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: "John, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. We're both the same age. How do you feel?"

John says, "I feel just like a newborn baby."

"Really!? Like a newborn baby!?"

"Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just pooped my pants."

Good morning everyboomie. welcome

It's Monday. Yee Haw! Can't dismember ever being so overjoyed. penguin

NOT shame

Gee I hope I don't forget to set my alarm. That would make me late for work. snicker

That's actually what happened Friday, but I still made it to work on time.

Luckily I woke at 4:00 and looked at the clock.

Better to be early, and get off early, than the alternative. wink

Anybody have a fun interesting day planned? happydance

Maybe I can live vicariously through you. idea

Make sure to keep a video journal for me.

I'll tell you what though. I have six straight work days, but as soon as I get the chance I'll be at the creek again.

If he water hasn't receded then I'll use a snorkel. snicker

Have a happy day everyone.

Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Monday Monday - 06/09/13 08:01 PM

Joe, do the snakes get worse when the creek rises? I know we have more in the grass and paths after the ground get saturated.
How is the new dog doing? I wish you could keep her.

Have a happy day everyone! Peter will be home for a day so we have to go shopping for some accessories for the wedding. Salsa Funk night so I'll be dancing later.

Ana wave
Posted by: Space Quest Fan

Re: Monday Monday - 06/09/13 09:34 PM

Have a great Monday Joe and Ana.
Posted by: Midge

Re: Monday Monday - 06/09/13 10:08 PM

Hi all. Just checking in before I go to bed. See you in the morning.

Midgie hearts
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Monday Monday - 06/09/13 11:09 PM

Good morning SpaceQ and Midgie!

Evelyne, I hope that your exhibit went well!

Ana wave
Posted by: Haroula

Re: Monday Monday - 06/10/13 02:31 AM

Good morning boomers. waveHave all a nice day. happydance spring
Posted by: Kaki's Sister

Re: Monday Monday - 06/10/13 04:03 AM

Good Morning Joe, Ana, SpaceQ, Midgie, Haroula and Cailyn. Joe becareful hunting! Ana enjoy salsa funk night. Space Q and Midgie happy dreams. Haroula you have a nice day too. Cailyn I hope you are sleeping in and feeling better. The coffee is on. Enjoy the day All! wave
Posted by: connie

Re: Monday Monday - 06/10/13 06:25 AM

Good morning everyone. Not sure what's on the agenda for the day yet. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Monday. Danish, French Toast, Donuts, and Omelets in the NC. Crunchy Donut Holes for L4L. spring
Posted by: Darlene

Re: Monday Monday - 06/10/13 09:58 AM

wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Hope your Monday Monday goes easy peasy!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Monday Monday - 06/10/13 11:12 AM

Aw Joe I hope the next six fly by for you, one day at a time and go well! Thanks for the chuckles.

Ana no corner yet??? WooHoo!! Have fun shoppity-shopping with Peter!! Enjoy Salsa class!

Space have a nice day!

Midge may work be fun and the time fly! HUGS! Hope you are feeling better.

Haroula have a lovely day!

Gerry thanks for starting the coffee. Have a lovely day!

Cailyn hope you are feeling better HUGS!

Connie have fun what ever comes up to do. I almost made it there with my niece and nephew in law. They made it there yesterday and I had been invited to ride along. Thanks for the danish and have a lovely day!

Darlene may work fly and go smoothly!!

No plans but to sit and wait for the sun to find us and dry up the land. lol And NO L4l we do not need all this rain. lol

Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Monday Monday - 06/10/13 11:26 AM

Magnificent Monday ya'll puppy

Well, hubby and I popped up bright and early and beat the rain to the park. Unfortunately, we didn't beat the humidity. It was like walking in rain without the rain. Dogs were ready to rest and eat when we got home.

Boys were still sleeping so we all tried to be very very quiet and not wake them up. After hubby left and doggies were fed, I retired to the bedroom with the monkeys to watch news til the boys got up.

The Per got up about 30 minutes later. He changed and we came downstairs to swap laundry. As soon as son heard us he sent Cully out. I can't get him convinced to just send Cully back up to his own bed when he comes down during the night.

I had hoped for a couple of hours at the park today, but weather is not cooperating. We will work on the boys bedroom after I feed them, and after that we will make some dog treats. The boys will have fun cutting out the shapes.

Did you all see the story about the woman who posted a picture of a man that bragged for 2 hours on a train about the affairs he was having and how stupid his wife was to not know?

Joe, train that lab to dive for points. puppy

Ana, sounds like a good plan. Enjoy!

Quest, Haroula and Midgy wave

Gerry, thanks for the coffee. Love it!

WoooHooo Connie, what a great way to start the day. Thanks happydance

Happy Skooshing, Darlene

Nan, seems to be a year of extremes. Hope it dries up for you soon.

Back in a bit. Boys are making hungry noises and the cook hasn't shown up yet. wave
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Monday Monday - 06/10/13 11:30 AM

Off to run the dogs before I go shopping with Peter. It's raining here but the radar shows no rain so I am hoping at the river (10 miles west) it really isn't raining. duh If it is, I won't melt.

Be back in a bit...
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Monday Monday - 06/10/13 11:38 AM

luck Ana wave Stay dry!
Posted by: Yankee Clipper

Re: Monday Monday - 06/10/13 11:54 AM

Hey Joe, Baby needs a big brother. A new doggy would kind of round out your family there. I pick up kitty cats all the time and Sorta Blond does too.

And Yippee hi ho Mister Arthritis is on the go. I can play ps now but it's klunky but so what and yesterday the 1st oblivion 4 hour-er happened. Time flies when we are having fun.

Well my granddaughter Amanda graduated from high school and I did cry but we all had a great time in Dallas. They took me shopping at a huge mall and the stores!!! I wanted some shorts but they are kina short this year - cut offs will do.

Everybody - stay well, get well and take care of yourselves
Posted by: Sorta Blonde

Re: Monday Monday - 06/10/13 12:31 PM

Ah Yankee, I sure do pick up cats all over but last night it was a baby CROW. Geez. Heard crows cawing and frantic and buzzing my front porch. Saw a crow on top of my hedge just trying to hide in the leaves. Turns out it was a baby. I've never really seen a baby crow. They are as big as the adults when they leave the nest I guess, but the tail feathers are short.

So here is this poor baby in my hedge, cats all over the place and I watched it hoping it would fly away. Nope, next thing I know crows are screaming, the neighbor's 'new' cat is in the yard and the baby is outside the front fence hobbling and flapping towards my driveway.

Scared the neighbor's cat back to his house and watched as baby crow tried to climb the vines on the chain link fence. It kept fluttering and falling to the ground. So I put on shoes, went out, followed it around the fence until I could pounce on it and then placed it on top of the fence (which is covered with vines and oleander bushes.

It immediately nestled down into the leaves and the parent crows did a couple of fly bys. Things quieted down over night but more screeching this morning. Hope the crow is still there. They will feed him where he is. Dunno if he's hurt or just too inexperienced to fly. I'll know later. I'll either see him up high or lots of feathers strewn around if the cats got him. Hope it's the former. scared
Posted by: Yankee Clipper

Re: Monday Monday - 06/10/13 01:34 PM

Bravo Sorta. My children and I have nurtured manymany birdies. Once our kitty brought a bird up to the back door and looked so proud -like he brought our dinner. So, quick thinking-ly, I pinched his nose and he had to let go to breath and birdy flew away. Oh the bird stories we all have. Another time we baby sat a fallen baby bird. The nest was in an unused mail box and it was pouring rain and baby bird had fallen on the sidewalk so we ran out and brought it inside and dried it and put it near a window where mama saw it and squaaawked and how!!! did she. Then in front of mama we returned birdie -I hope she accepted it. We brought it inside to make certain it was OK.
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Monday Monday - 06/10/13 01:45 PM

Yankee, I have heard the "mom won't accept it if humans put it back in the nest" is a myth. But who knows? I "hear" a lot of things.
Posted by: GBC

Re: Monday Monday - 06/10/13 02:53 PM

Good Day Boomers

Been gone all morning. Decided to take a trip to Wal Mart and my car decided to stop running while I was still driving on the road. Waited forever for tow truck to the garage and now it's just a wait and see what's wrong and how long before I get it back.

Hope everyone is having a better day than I. Oh well, there's always gaming. yay
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Monday Monday - 06/10/13 03:09 PM

Eeeek Gail, that is never fun. I'm glad you are home now wave
Posted by: Space Quest Fan

Re: Monday Monday - 06/10/13 04:19 PM

Good afternoon Boomers. wave
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Monday Monday - 06/10/13 04:54 PM

Afternoon Quest, anything fun happening this afternoon?
Posted by: gymcandy1

Re: Monday Monday - 06/10/13 06:56 PM

Howdy doody everybody. wave

I had a fairly fast work day, and bopped on home to get ready for another 5 o'clocker. razz

I did take the time to go to the creek The water is still too high, but I didn't let that stop me from going down in 100 degree heat, and sweating, and overheating, and finding nothing. shocked

No matter. I'll be back down there asap. thumbsup

For now I'm off to get tomorrow started. happydance

Hope you're all having a great day. yes

Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Monday Monday - 06/10/13 07:11 PM

Joe, keep's good for ya.

Dinner is in the oven. I've been on the go steadily since 5:45 a.m. After dinner and dishes, I'm collapsing into my bed and not moving the rest of the night. pacify
Posted by: Midge

Re: Monday Monday - 06/10/13 10:00 PM

Night all. See you in the morning.

Midgie sleep
Posted by: Space Quest Fan

Re: Monday Monday - 06/10/13 10:03 PM

Good night Boomers. sleep
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Monday Monday - 06/11/13 12:13 AM

Night everybody sleep well and pleasant dreams!!