Hump Day

Posted by: gymcandy1

Hump Day - 06/11/13 07:54 PM

Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.
Mahatma Gandhi

To increase your vocabulary with phrases you've heard but aren't quite sure how to use, read on...

"Cold turkey"

Definition: Refers to the physical state addicts are in when withdrawing from drug
addition, especially heroin. Their blood is directed to the internal organs, leaving
their skin white and goose bumpy like a Thanksgiving bird ready to go in the oven.
Mmmmm, junkie turkey.

Origin: The first usage of this phrase is unknown, but it has as many applications as
there are things to be addicted to.

Use it in a sentence: After coming down with a strange illness that turned his
eye-whites blue, Ozzy had to go cold turkey from biting the heads off live bats or
any other animals.

"Going Dutch"

Definition: To evenly split the cost of a group expense, like a meal.

Origin: The origin of the phrase is unknown, but there is one explanation. In the
17th century, the Dutch were hated commercial rivals of the British, and have been a
verbal target for them since. Anyone who "went Dutch" may have been considered a
tightwad. Not surprisingly, the Dutch don't seem to love this phrase.

Use it in a sentence: The last girl I went out with called me a superior patriarchal
misogynist who didn't respect her independence just because I offered to pick up the
tab. So last night I decided I'd play it safe and suggested to my date that we go
Dutch. She called me a cheap [blip]!

"Put a sock in it"

Definition: A terse request to be quiet.

Origin: Since early gramophones had no volume control knobs, playing them at anything
less than 11 ("my amp goes up to 11") required putting a sock in the amplification

Use it in a sentence:
Girl: "Why are you hesitating? You don't like it, do you? You think it makes me look
fat, right? Oh, I knew this would happen. I should never have gotten an orange
Guy: "Ah, put a sock in it."

"Son of a gun"

a) As an interjection, it means "gee whiz" or "well I'll be damned."
b) As a name to call someone, it's a euphemism for a phrase that's already pretty
tame: son of a [blip].

Origin: According to the Phrase Finder (, the expression
originated on sailing ships, where some women would have sex with sailors between the
cannons. The male progeny of such a dangerous liaison would then be called a son of a
gun. Nice pedigree.

Use it in a sentence:
a) "Son of a gun, who stole my toupee?"
b) "Bob, you old son of a gun. How's the prostate?"

"For all intents and purposes"

Definition: First of all, it ain't "for all intensive purposes." Think about it for a
minute. What the hell could that possibly mean? For all uses that are short but
really demanding? Like, oh, I don't know, midget arm-wrestling? No, "for all intents
and purposes" means "realistically speaking; practically; in almost every way."

Origin: Although its origin is unknown, the phrase used to be "to all intents and
purposes," which is still sometimes heard.

Use it in a sentence: Bob tried so hard to please Patty that he had long ago passed
the "whipped" phase and was now, for all intents and purposes, her love slave.

"Big cheese"

Definition: The most important person; the boss.

Origin: The Urdu word for thing is chiz. The British likened its sound to the word
"cheese" and, as cheese is so vital to the Brits that their pound currency was
actually pegged to the price of medium cheddar for almost two centuries, they
modified its meaning to "the main/best thing." The phrase crossed the Atlantic as
"the big cheese" in about 1890.

Use it in a sentence: The way he acted, you could tell Bob thought he was the big
cheese of the joint. But really, with his faux chains, hedge-like chest hair and
shiny zebra-striped shirt, he was just cheesy.

"Peeping Tom"

Definition: A peeping Tom is a voyeur.

Origin: It stems from an 11th century English legend in which Tom the tailor
unlawfully peeps at Lady Godiva as she rides on horseback naked through Coventry. As
a result, he was struck blind. Doh!

Use it in a sentence: To mess with the minds of any would-be peeping Toms in the high
rise across the street, every night Bob undressed in front of his window with all the
lights on, then looked out into the night and gave a big wave before retiring.

"Beat around the bush"

Definition: This old phrase means, well, you know, sort of to, like, stall and stuff,
or lie even, instead of, um -- hey look, that dog has a poofy tail! Sorry, it means
not to get to the point or the truth.

Origin: It comes from hunting, where hunters would carefully beat around bushes
hoping to drive out their prey instead of just going in after it.

Use it in a sentence:
Man #1: "Stop beating around the bush and ask the question already!"
Man #2: "Okay, fine. Can I borrow your girlfriend for, like, an hour?"


Farmer Jokes

On a rural road a state trooper pulled this farmer over and said: "Sir, do you realize your wife fell out of the car several miles back?"

To which the farmer replied: "Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf!"


A lone tourist who is passing through the suburbs on the way to town by car, unfortunately experiences mechanical problems with the automobile. The car stalls and the tourist parks the car by the side of the road and waits for help.

Not much later, a farmer happens to pass by with a truck full of farm animals. The farmer offers the tourist a lift to town and proceeds to explain that he is bringing his farm animals to the town market, where they will be auctioned off to the highest bidders.

Well, it so happens that on the way to the town, the farmer being so engrossed in his story, unintentionally wanders into the other side of road where another vehicle is approaching in the other direction.

The farmer realizes his absent mindness and attempts to avoid the possible collision with the other vehicle. He just misses the other car, but unfortunately crashes the truck into the side of the road. The tourist winds up thrown into a ditch and suffers broken ribs and a broken arm and leg and is obviously in extreme pain. The farm animals are all messed up very badly and the farmer, although remaining inside the vehicle, still suffers cuts and scrapes.

The farmer gets out of the truck and looks at his farm animals.

The chickens all have broken limbs and can barely move. "These chickens are all useless! Nobody will want to buy these chickens anymore!" bellows the farmer. With that, he grabs and loads his shotgun and blows away the chickens.

Next, he sees the pigs and they are all lame and bleeding profusely. "These pigs are all worthless now! I'll get nothing for them!" yells the farmer. With great rage, the farmer reloads his shotgun and blows away the pigs.

The farmer looks at the sheep and they all have broken limbs and their wool is all bloodied. "Worthless sheep!" screams the farmer and with that, he reloads his shotgun and blows away the sheep.

Meanwhile, the injured tourist witnesses all of this carnage in great horror.

The farmer then moves over to the side of the ditch and looks at the tourist. "Are you okay down there?" asked the farmer.

"NEVER FELT BETTER IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!" the tourist yelled back.


Juan was driving down a country lane in his pickup when suddenly a chicken darted into the road in front of him. He slammed on his brakes, but realized that the chicken was speeding off down the road at about 30 miles an hour. Intrigued, he tried to follow the bird with his truck, but he couldn't catch up to the accelerating chicken. Seeing it turn into a small farm, Juan followed it. To his astonishment, he realized that the chicken had three legs. Looking around the small farm, he noticed that ALL of the
chickens had three legs.

The farmer came out of his house, and Juan said, "Three-legged chickens? That's astonishing!"

The farmer replied, "Yep. I bred 'em that way because I love drumsticks."

Juan was curious. "How does a three-legged chicken taste?"

The farmer smiled. "Dunno. Haven't been able to catch one yet."


The farmer's son was returning from the market with the crate of chicken's his father had entrusted to him, when all of a sudden the box fell and broke open. Chickens scurried off in different directions, but the determined boy walked all over the neighborhood scooping up the wayward birds and returning them to the repaired crate. Hoping he had found them all, the boy reluctantly returned home, expecting the worst.

"Pa, the chickens got loose," the boy confessed sadly, "but I managed to find all twelve of them."

"Well, you did real good, son," the farmer beamed. "You left with seven."


These two country boys, brothers, were knocking around one lazy summer day and thought it would be a good prank to push over the outhouse. They crept up from an advantageous direction like a couple of commandos, pushed the outhouse over on one side and headed for the woods. They circled round and returned home an hour later from a completely different direction thus, trying to divert suspicion from themselves.

Upon returning, their father approached them with switch in hand and bellowed, "Did you two push the outhouse over this afternoon?"

The older boy replied, "As learned in school, I cannot tell a lie. Yes, Father, we pushed over the outhouse this afternoon."

At this revelation, the farmer proceeded to flail the two boys severely and sent them to bed without supper.

In the morning, the two boys meekly approached the breakfast table and took their seats. Everything was quiet until their father finally said, "Have you two learned your lesson?"

"Sure, Dad!" said the big brother, "But, in school we learned that George Washington admitted to HIS father that he'd chopped down a cherry tree and he was forgiven because he told the truth."

"Ah yes!' said the farmer, "BUT, George's DAD, wasn't in the cherry tree when he chopped it down!!!"

Good morning everyboomie. wave

Here we are again. yes

I'm here, you all are everywhere, and we're all here in the diner, at Gameboomers. bravo

It's a small world eh? wink

If the diner is like planet Earth, then Gameboomers is the Sun, and the WWW is the Universe.

You're all space travelers.

I am an astro-nut. grin

Lowe's is like the evil alien overlord Jabba the Hut.

I blast off at 4:30am.

Call me Major Tom. cool

4-3-2-1 Earth below me drifting falling.
Floating weightless, coming coming home. yay

My sister is Jar Jar Binks. crazy

Bodda BOOM!

Have a happy day everyone.


Posted by: Space Quest Fan

Re: Hump Day - 06/11/13 08:12 PM


Have you seen the Geico commercial with the camel for hump day?

thanks for the laughs.
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Hump Day - 06/11/13 08:16 PM

lol Good morning Joe! Don't blast off too high if you are indoors.

Space Q, happy hump day!

Have a happy day everyone! I am out of the corner until after the wedding. Lots to do! yay

Posted by: Haroula

Re: Hump Day - 06/12/13 02:28 AM

Good morning Joe,SpaceQ,Ana and all who come in later. smile wave
Have a very nice day. happydance
Posted by: Kaki's Sister

Re: Hump Day - 06/12/13 04:29 AM

Good Morning Joe, SpaceQ, Ana, and Haroula. Joe I do feel spaced out this morning. rolleyes SpaceQ I haven't seen the ad but I will watch for it. smile Ana don't get to stressed with all you have to do for the wedding! woozy Haroula have a fun day. happydance Coffee is on Cailyn. yes Happy Day wished for All! catrub
Posted by: cailyn

Re: Hump Day - 06/12/13 04:42 AM

Good morning all wave I slept late so now I'm rushing off to the gym!Gerry thanks for starting the coffee wave
Posted by: Kaki's Sister

Re: Hump Day - 06/12/13 04:45 AM

Good Morning Cailyn. Glad to hear you slept in. It's still important you get plenty of rest! Take Care. wave
Posted by: connie

Re: Hump Day - 06/12/13 06:43 AM

Good morning everyone. Not sure what is on the agenda yet. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Hump day. Danish, Bacon Sandwiches, and French Toast in the NC. It's in the 90's here, pool time. Nan, I wish you could have made it here. Hugs for all my Boomer pals. spring
Posted by: GBC

Re: Hump Day - 06/12/13 06:50 AM

Good Morning Boomers

Joe, Enjoy your blast off!

Space, good morning.

Ana, Yay! Enjoy. You'll be back in the corner soon enough.

Haroula, happy day.

Gerry, thanks for the coffee.

Sue, so glad you had the chance to sleep in a little while extra.

Connie, Danish sounds good with my coffee. Have a great day!

Yay! Got my car fixed. Maybe I'll be off doing some shopping today. Wishing everyone a wonderful Hump day!

Posted by: niteowl07

Re: Hump Day - 06/12/13 08:48 AM

wavemorning , everyone ! it's gonna be another hot one here in n.m. again.

not much planned for the day ,except for trash and some paperwork ,just resting and staying cool.

haven't slept much in the past week at all,and had to nap yesterday ,so i was happy to get a few hours here and there last night - my eyes sure like it lol

hope you all have a wonderful one ,later !
Posted by: flutist

Re: Hump Day - 06/12/13 09:38 AM

Good morning y'all.

For all of you in the path of that massive storm coming through, stay safe. Sounds nasty. We are on the very edge of it.

Haven't been here too much. We had to put Susie in the hospital a couple days ago. Turns out she had another bout of pancreatitis. She was one sick girl. Better now.

It is going to be hot today so need to take Cory for his walk.

A great day to everyone.

Posted by: Darlene

Re: Hump Day - 06/12/13 09:57 AM

wave Howdy ho, sweet Major Tom! smile Thanks for the openers! Hope your Hump Day is a happy one as well!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Hump Day - 06/12/13 11:42 AM

Joe you're half way there!! Thanks for the laughs and I hope work flies and the mowers sell.

Space have a lovely day and stay safe when the storms hit.

WooHoo Ana.....corner free. May everything fall into place just the way that they should!! Happy planning!!

Haroula have a lovely day!

Gerry thanks for the coffee. Have a lovely day!

Cailyn glad that you could sleep in today. Rest is good when you are not well. Have fun at the gym and a lovely day!

Me too Connie!!! They are heading to Sea World today! Have a lovely day what ever you do do!! Thanks for the danish!

WooHoo Gail!! You have wheels again!! Happy shopping!!

niteowl may you find a nice cool place! lol Talked with my friend in Albuquerque yesterday and she said something about it being 100F there. We finally made it into the 80's yesterday. May make it there today also unless that storm has other ideas. lol Have lovely day!

Oh Bets....HUGS!! Prayers Susie's way!! Stay safe too if the storm takes a wrong turn. Have a lovely day!

Darlene may work fly and everything go smoothly!! Have a lovely day!

Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Hump Day - 06/12/13 11:52 AM

Wonderful Wednesday ya'll puppy

Wow, my net has been up and down all morning. Up for a minute, then down for 30 seconds, then up for a minute, down for 2 minutes...color me not a happy camper. Would call and complain but since our phone is through them, when the net goes down so does the phone. Arrrrrrrrrrrghhhh!

Today was supposed to be much hotter than yesterday, so we skipped our early morning walk. I slept in and got up just as son was leaving. I'm going to drag down the big toy bin from the boys room and clean it out today. Great time to do one home but me and the dogs.

Bets, so sorry Susie is having ongoing issues. I hope there is a plan to address them.
Posted by: Sorta Blonde

Re: Hump Day - 06/12/13 12:31 PM

Gonna be a nice day here. It's overcast (as usual for this month) in the mornings, but the sun comes out soon.

Surveyed the 'job' my Yard Boy did yesterday. May I just say Arrraaaaghhhhh! So many things he missed, didn't do, did poorly. And to boot, after he suddenly had to leave (despite saying at the start he had all day) he left one entire yard waste can empty. He told me distinctly that all the cans were full and he couldn't put any more stuff in them. I really had higher hopes that this time, he would be more responsible. Guess I was too optimistic.

Piles of leaves and weeds (I'd pulled them before he came) were still right there next to stuff he picked up. Sidewalks were covered in dirt and leaves he didn't sweep off after dragging things over them. Somehow, he managed to dislodge 4 large stepping stones near the deck and they are all kattywhompis and I will have to pull them up and reseat them. He also pulled up a small wooden stepping bridge (2 by 4 feet) that I'd made to go over a muddy spot in the back. He yanked it out of the ground and managed to tear out all the nails from the under boards and now I have to renail the whole thing. Dunno how that happened. I think he just pulled it out of the ground where it's been sitting for years so he could rake around it? It's right next to those stepping stones. More work for me.

And there are bits of tree branch he trimmed all over the place and he didn't even trim one of the most important areas around the wires as I'd shown him. Not a good worker anymore. Makes more work for me after he's gone and I had to feed him to boot. He's always hungry. Sent him home with tons of oatmeal cookies after he'd eaten almost a dozen.

Still feel sorry for him, but he's not going to change I fear. I keep hoping, but this last time proves he is just getting worse on responsibility. OH and he tells me he was in court again because he wasn't attending his DUI classes. I knew that already since he was around town when he was supposed to be in class. He figured that since the paperwork said "if you miss a class, call to attend a makeup class". Well I guess he figured that meant he could go anytime he wanted and just missed and missed and missed, so the judge called him in. He will be lucky if he doesn't do more jail time. Still praying for him that he will straighten out.

Off to survey the back lot. Haven't looked at that after he brought up the palm fronds. There are probably things there that he missed too. thumbsdown
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Hump Day - 06/12/13 12:42 PM

Sorta, I don't think I'd use him anymore. Sounds like he is showing up long enough to collect money and not doing any good for you.
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Hump Day - 06/12/13 03:03 PM

It's a Murphy's law day and what was to be a real quick trip to exchange my youngests shirt at the store turned into an hour and a half trip to the boonies to the only Macy's that had his size. All done now, grabbed a quick lunch with Sam and now off to Menards for paint..

be back
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Hump Day - 06/12/13 04:10 PM

Eeek Ana, glad you were able to get the shirt exchanged.

I have been through all the big tubs of toys in the boy's room. Pulled out a ton to send to Va. g'son, tossed a ton, put some aside for Goodwill, and some to go on the boys' shelves if they ever get here. I'm not fooling myself that their room will stay clean, but it will not take as long to clean now.

Has anyone seen the new OZ? Hubby and I watched it last night. Wish I would have rented it instead of buying....puppy
Posted by: Space Quest Fan

Re: Hump Day - 06/12/13 04:16 PM

Good afternoon everyone. Please stay safe through the storms. smile
Posted by: gymcandy1

Re: Hump Day - 06/12/13 04:55 PM

Hello everybody. wave

It's so nice to be home. I had a trying day in my little solar system. woot

Had a light saber fight with the evil overlord Jabba the Hut Darth Vador.

Now I'm just sitting here trying to cool off and calm down. yes

Need to let things go. smile

It's all good. thumbsup

I hope everything is good where you are. yes


Posted by: Haroula

Re: Hump Day - 06/12/13 05:05 PM

sleep wave
Posted by: Yankee Clipper

Re: Hump Day - 06/12/13 07:12 PM

Got my teeth cleaned this AM and all she had to do was wizz bang zoom through the procedure because.......I've been using an electric t'brush and what a difference. They do get the teeth cleaner. Then to the bank, then groceries then homiddy home and put away stuff and collapse. A glorious nap and kitty woke me up and she demanded foodfancyfeastfood and now and how.

A question: Do you brew espresso coffee differently than regular? I have a Jura coffee maker and I made espresso the same as regular ground but it's so bitter. But it sure woke me up.

The heat's got to my cat ShemerBaby. He eats laying down on the kitchen counter with his head in the dish and slurps down the F'Feast. I wonder if he even chews it.

Remember my container tomatos? They were so good -small but really tasty. They are finished now and appear to be dying so I've planted an avocado pit and the onion root half in 2 of the pots.

Bye all
Posted by: Space Quest Fan

Re: Hump Day - 06/12/13 09:34 PM

Good night Boomers. wave
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Hump Day - 06/12/13 09:52 PM

Joe, why a bad day? I hope tomorrow will make up for it.

I had a nonstop day but was really looking forward to my class tonight but they cancelled it because of the storms. So I am sitting here playing a game and listening to the Hawks play. yay Hope you all are enjoying your evening.
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Hump Day - 06/12/13 10:01 PM

Hubby got home and we zapped out to do some errands. Errands done, dinner finished, and now time for bed.

Anyone with cooler weather please send it our way. I've had to keep my thermostat set to the high 80's all day to keep the AC from running non-stop.

Hubby and I will be up bright and early to get our exercise in before it is so hot it is dangerous to do it.

Sweet dreams all sleep
Posted by: Midge

Re: Hump Day - 06/12/13 10:11 PM

Hi guys. I've had a busy day off. I had my car in for a rear brake replacement and other small stuff. Then house cleaning and tonight I had a dr's appointment to find out if I have a hernia. Well I won't know that for a few days but I had a blood test and a stomach xray to see if something else is going on in there. I'll get a CAT scan soon. I need to find out if something is going on in there. It's getting very uncomfortable. I need to be in tiptop shape for the trip to Conn. at the end of July with my clients. I'm anxious to see what's going on in there.

Time to call it a night. I hope you all had a good day. See you in the morning.

Midgie sleep
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Hump Day - 06/12/13 10:21 PM

Midgie, hugs to you my friend. I hope it's nothing serious. hearts

Niteowl, I hope you can get some rest. It's so hard when you can't sleep.

Ana wave