Posted by: gymcandy1

Friday's - 06/14/13 01:32 AM

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.
Woody Allen

A cowboy walked into a barber shop, sat on the barber's chair and said, "I'll have a shave and a shoe shine." The barber began to lather his face and sharpen the old straight edge while a woman with the biggest, firmest, most beautiful breasts that he had ever seen knelt down and began to shine his shoes.

The cowboy said, "Young lady, you and I should go and spend some time in a hotel room."

She replied, "I'm married and my husband wouldn't like that.

The cowboy said, "Tell him you're working overtime and I'll pay you the difference."
She said, "You tell him. He is the one shaving you."

A guy walked up to a beautiful young woman in a bar. "Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?" he said to her.

"I don't know," replied the beautiful young woman. "It depends how personal it is."

"OK," the guy said. "How many men have you slept with?"

"I'm not going to tell you that!" the woman exclaimed. "That's my business!"

"Sorry," said the guy, "I didn't realize you made a living out of it."

A well dressed, debonair man in his mid nineties enters an upscale cocktail lounge and finds a seat next to a good looking, younger woman in her mid eighties, at the most. Trying to remember his best pick-up line, he says, "So tell me, do I come here often?"

Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, the pretty girl said, "I would like to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?" "Only one kiss per yard," replied the male clerk with a smirk. "That's fine," said the girl. "I'll take ten yards." With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk quickly measured out the cloth, wrapped it up, then teasingly held it out.

The girl snapped up the package, pointed to the old geezer standing beside her, and smiled, "Grandpa will pay the bill."

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked a young Engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"

The Engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."

The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years say, a red Corvette?"

The Engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding me?"

And the interviewer replied, "Yes, but you started it."

Bubba calls in to work and says, "Hey, boss I'm not coming to work today, I'm really sick. I have a headache, stomach ache, and my legs hurt. I not come work."

The boss says, "You know Bubba, I really need you today. When I feel like that I go to my wife and tell her to make love to me. That makes everything better and I can go to work. You should try that."

Two hours later Bubba calls again: "Boss, did what you said, and I feel great. I'll be at work soon. You've got a nice wife."

At a nursing home a group of seniors were sitting around talking about all their ailments. "My arms have gotten so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee," said one.

"Yes, I know," said another. "My cataracts are so bad I can't even see my coffee."

"I couldn't even mark an 'X' at election time, my hands are so crippled," volunteered a third.

"What? Speak up! What? I can't hear you! said a fourth.

"I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck," said a fifth, to which several nodded weakly in agreement.

"My blood pressure pills make me so dizzy I can hardly walk!" exclaimed another.

"I forget where I am, and where I'm going," said an elderly gent.

"I guess that's the price we pay for getting old," winced an old man as he slowly shook his head. The others nodded in agreement.

"Well, count your blessings," said one woman cheerfully, "thankfully, we can all still drive."

Good morning everyboomie. welcome

I think I made it through my first night shift ok last night. thumbsup

Either that or hell is remarkably similar to Oklahoma. razz

I say that because I was kinda hoping the world would end before I had to go to work, and it was so hot outside that I thought my wish had been granted. devil

I've been told, on more than one occasion, that there is a special place reserved for me in hell. shocked

How rude! shame

I keep trying to cancel my reservation, but my email is being returned as "undeliverable." duh

Have a happy, cool day everyone. penguin

Posted by: Haroula

Re: Friday's - 06/14/13 02:26 AM

Good morning Joe lol
Have all a great Friday. happydance wave
Posted by: cailyn

Re: Friday's - 06/14/13 02:37 AM

Good morning Joe,Haroula,and all who arrive later wave Joe glad you survived the night shift!Coffee is ready I know it's early but I couldn't sleep tiredWe have heavy rain here eekI don't know but I think,I hope that summer will comes soon smirkWishing every one a great day puppy
Posted by: Kaki's Sister

Re: Friday's - 06/14/13 03:46 AM

Good Morning Joe, Haroula and Cailyn. Joe keep that smile on! Haroula hope you get time for the beach. Cailyn it's still raining hear too. How are you feeling? Wishing everyone a great day! wave
Posted by: Midge

Re: Friday's - 06/14/13 05:40 AM

Good morning. Thanks Joe for your openers. Morning Haroula, Sue, Gerry, and everyone who comes in after me. I have work this morning, then a CAT scan this afternoon to find out if I have a hernia. Hope I find out soon. See you later.

Midgie hearts Oh...please don't forget to exercise. smile
Posted by: connie

Re: Friday's - 06/14/13 06:14 AM

Good morning everyone. Midge, prayers and hugs on the way. hearts To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful TGIF. Danish, French Toast, and Bacon Sandwiches in the NC. spring
Posted by: GBC

Re: Friday's - 06/14/13 06:55 AM

Good Morning Boomers

Joe, At least it's cooler at night than the daytime.

Haroula, happy day!

Cailyn, thanks for the early coffee. I didn't sleep all night as the heavy rain hits on my aluminum awnings all night.

Gerry, stay dry if you can.

Midgie, good luck with the Cat Scan. Hugs!

Connie, enjoy whatever the day holds for you.

Rain rain go away! Supposed to finally ease off this afternoon. Wishing everyone a wonderfully dry day if possible. Wishing all with dry weather some of our rain.
Posted by: Darlene

Re: Friday's - 06/14/13 09:55 AM

wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers and I hope your day is cooler for you!

Midgie, hope your CAT scan goes well! kissy

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

It's Friday! woot

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
Posted by: flutist

Re: Friday's - 06/14/13 10:17 AM

Good morning all.

Bill is at the dentist getting his permanent bridge. He says he wants steak for dinner tonight.

I gotta go get Cory out and vac the living room carpet. Yikes, Cory is really shedding. Then I have to finish the laundry.

Better scoot. See ya.

Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Friday's - 06/14/13 10:19 AM

Good morning boomies! I have a busy day of painting and more staining and then more wall washing. eek Volunteers welcome. grin

Tomorrow is my Warrior Dash and it looks like we are in for a very wet and excessively muddy run. rotfl Hubby and daughter are going to cheer my niece and I on at the last three obstacles so I'll actually have pictures this year! yay

Joe, did you see the arrowhead I emailed you that I found at the river yesterday? I'm so excited!

Midgie, hearts

Gotta run!
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Friday's - 06/14/13 10:34 AM

Fantastic Friday ya'll puppy

Hubby came through this morning and got up, so I did too. If he had stayed in bed, I'd have gone back to sleep happily but I really am glad that he didn't. It was pleasant out there so we had a good walk, if a bit slower than normal. My right foot decided to cramp a bit so lots of starts and stops, but we made it happydance

Then home to throw a smoothie together for hubby who had to get out of the house in a hurry. Sadly, did not like this one. Tasted good at first taste but then the bitter aftertaste hit. So that one is off the list. Gonna make a different one when son gets up to go to work.

Boys will be here in just a few minutes. Depending on the weather and their mood, we may go to the park. Time will tell whistle

Joe, did you get switched to night shift? Or is this a rotating thing?

Haroula, have a wonderful day.

Cailyn, how are you feeling?

Gerry, what's up for you today?

Midgy, luck

Connie, bacon sandwiches. Thank you. How are ya?

Gail, sorry you couldn't sleep. I hope the rain stops soon for you guys.

Darlene, happy skooshing.

Bets, sounds like a busy day.

Ana, why are you painting? Prep for the wedding or just wanting a change?

I'm going to go lie down til son gets up or the boys get here. I'm a bit tired today and as my exercise adrenaline wanes, I'm fading fast. Can't have that with the boys coming. Back later wave
Posted by: gymcandy1

Re: Friday's - 06/14/13 10:52 AM

Good morning everybody. wave

I am very tired this morning, and wanting a nap already. sleep

I was scheduled to 10:00 last night, but I worked till 11:00.

They got word that the district manager would be in our store today, and all the managers we're panicing. None more so than my department manager. rolleyes

I'll leave at 10:00 tonight or tomorrow night, instead f at 11:00. yes

L4L we rotate schedules. Normally after your day off you are scheduled 1 or 2 openers, then mid shift, then closing. thumbsup

Ana no I did not get your email. Please send it to me again. bravo happydance

I hope everyone has a super day. yes

Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Friday's - 06/14/13 11:51 AM

Were you up late last night, Joe?

I think that whole rotating schedule has to be hard on the body. I was talking to the girl at Hardee's the other day and she was scheduled to close that night and had to open the next. I know son gets stuck with that too. He closed last night and had to open this morning.

Boys got here just as dad left. They passed in the street. wave
Posted by: Sorta Blonde

Re: Friday's - 06/14/13 12:28 PM

Spent yesterday and the day before doing all the 'stuff' my yard kid missed. Raked up 17 piles of leaves and debris from the yard, then put it all in yard waste cans the second day. Took me a total of 1 1/2 hours to do twice what the kiddo did and got paid good money for. Not happy, might just not ever have him do anything again. It's coming, I can tell my good nature is drifting away where he is concerned. AND he said he got all the dead weeds out of the driveway (easy job, just brush with broom or foot and they dissolve into dust). Well he must have a different of ALL since most of them are still there. Sigh.

THEN I find out from neighbor lady (who is also disenchanted) that he 'borrowed' gas for his lawnmower (also borrowed from someone) to do someone else's yard. He is always 'borrowing'. Didn't mind it 2 years ago when he was just starting out, but now he's not borrowing, he's just taking and not returning anything.

I used to let him use my phone (he always has to call someone) but then I started getting hang ups all over the place. I told him no more nada nope. He was a bit taken aback, but he has a cell phone (claims it's not working, no battery, etc). It's always a different phone every time I see him, ditto for his bicycles. I am almost convinced he is stealing those things and then dumping them so as not to be caught. His bicycles seem to get 'stolen' every other week. Uhhuh. Now he has NO bicycle. I didn't ask.

So I'm doing the yard work, praying that my many painful maladies will allow me. Doing pretty well, and surprising myself. Kid turned 21, no longer a kid. I'm sure he will be back in jail soon since I confirmed he isn't going to his mandated DUI and Domestic Violence classes. He seems to think that you can 'miss' classes and make them up when you feel like it. The paperwork clearly says 'two misses and you will have to start over'. Yup, he's not too good at following directions, and then seems surprised when he's called on it. I think I have finally given up. Sad for both of us.

Off to Costly Co today for coupon day. Need stuff. More stuff, lots of stuff. Love stuff. woot
Posted by: gymcandy1

Re: Friday's - 06/14/13 12:38 PM

Good morning Sorta. wave

I was up till 2:00 last night L4L. tired

I don't have to do the close/open thing very often.

Night before last my department manager had to close and got to bed at about 1:30, and had to get back up at 4:00 to open. shocked

That's ridiculous! shame

Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Friday's - 06/14/13 01:34 PM

I've done enough damage here for the morning and I am heading to the river with the dogs before I go for the 3rd color of paint. It's getting there.

L4L, I have lots of people from out of town coming here next week so I am using this opportunity to go room to room and touch up paint chips etc that happen when you have a house full of dogs and kids. I am sure you can relate. rotfl It's been on my list for a long time but never found the time. Since I decided to take time off to just get it all done.

Joe, I will resend the picture later.
Posted by: Haroula

Re: Friday's - 06/14/13 03:35 PM

sleep wave
Posted by: Space Quest Fan

Re: Friday's - 06/14/13 04:07 PM

welcome to the weekend Boomers. happydance
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Friday's - 06/14/13 04:46 PM

Lol, Ana yes I can. We just call it all shabby chic lol

Night Haroula, sweet dreams sleep

Happy Weekend, Quest wave

Joe, that is awful for your manager. I hope he is paid well puppy
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Friday's - 06/14/13 05:32 PM

Haroula, hope you had a great day!

SpaceQ, anything fun on the agenda?

L4L, we just accept the fact that my house is full of life which I would not trade for a pristine house with no dogs or family so it's okay. However I will admit it feels good to get rid of some of the overly lived in spots. I am actually a fan of "shabby chic" lol

I have called it a day. I am very happy that when the 3 colors I painted so far they dried to match the old. I did well in choosing the colors. yay

Now I will sit and wish I had someone here to cook for me. lol
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Friday's - 06/14/13 06:06 PM

Originally Posted By: BrownEyedTigre

Now I will sit and wish I had someone here to cook for me. lol

Let me know how that works for you lol

I'm off to do something I never do...wake up sleeping children eek If I let them sleep any longer they will be up all night.

Back in a bit.
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Friday's - 06/14/13 06:07 PM

It's not going so good L4L. lol
Posted by: Yankee Clipper

Re: Friday's - 06/14/13 06:26 PM

Back from Walmart in Giddings and now enjoying 2 Logitech speakers. The old ones were Dell and were ancient -I cant complain and the sound was better than these but I'll get used to these. Also got some different flavor F'Feast which my kittys won't eat =-they are too spoiled. Oh well, get over it, old lady.

Drinking lovely cold tea and honey Yuuuum

About ready to finish up Halo 1 and it's a great game. I first played it about 8 years and many many games ago and so I'd forgotten parts which made it most enjoyable.

Enjoy your Friday all
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Friday's - 06/14/13 07:09 PM

Shucks, Ana, I was hoping you'd discovered the secret wave

Yankee, woohoo, new sound happydance

Son's friend just stopped by and picked up the boys as he had to go back to work. I'm heading up to see if I can clear some room off my DVR wave
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Friday's - 06/14/13 07:36 PM

Made a skillet frittata that was amazing so it was worth getting up to do it. lol

Yankee, enjoy your new speakers. Is that why you couldn't hear your sound the other day? At least it wasn't your sound card.

Nan, where you be today? hearts
Posted by: Yankee Clipper

Re: Friday's - 06/14/13 07:53 PM

Oh Gosh, Ana, there's something called a sound card? Good grief what next -these electronics are scarey.

And speaking of scary -I've just returned from perusing the PS 4 and all it's new games -Oh good times ahead and sorry kids Christmas will be lean 'cause Mumsy has already made her preorder. The games are fantastic. Forget the yard, painting, cooking, cleaning etcetc because I know what I'll be doing. Do you think we can take our PS's to Heaven some day?

I've ordered some catnip toys for you know who. The Yeowww!! brand is good. Maybe they will sleep most the summer and won't bother me with their high class appatites.

Skillet frittata sounds delicious -must look it up

Midge are you back home?
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Friday's - 06/14/13 08:24 PM

Yankee, it's just a concoction Peter and I came with awhile back when we need a good healthy non meat protein meal. I saute 5 scallions, 6 asparagus cut up, and 5 mini Pero peppers sliced up, 10 cherry tomatoes sliced in half and a lot of herbs de provence in unrefined coconut oil. When its browned and cooked to your desire I add two handfuls of baby spinach and saute until they blend in. In another small skillet with coconut oil, I throw in two beaten eggs and immediately pour the veggies in the eggs. Flip once when the eggs are brown on one side and you have a nutritious and delicious fritatta! yay
Posted by: Midge

Re: Friday's - 06/14/13 09:42 PM

Wow Ana! That sounds delicious. I'm coming over with my fork in hand smile Well, I had my CT scan today. I can tell you definitely that I won't ever have another one unless my life depended on it. It made me so sick. I won't know the results until Monday.

I'm going to bed. This body has had enough for one day. Night all.

Midgie sick sleep
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Friday's - 06/14/13 09:59 PM

Midgie are you allergic to Iodine? My dad couldn't do it either. I know you are anxious but enjoy the weekend. kissy
Come on over and I will whip you up a fresh batch. It not only tastes good but makes the house smell great!
Posted by: Midge

Re: Friday's - 06/14/13 10:28 PM

Ana I don't know if I'm allergic to Iodine or not. I wouldn't be surprised if I was. I have so many food and other allergies I can't keep count. Sometimes I wish I could just stop eating all together. It would solve so much of my issues.

Midgie hearts
Posted by: Yankee Clipper

Re: Friday's - 06/14/13 10:36 PM

Ana, I'm going to make that although I haven't seen spinach in the market for awhile. Also you use coconut oil -that's supposed to better than olive oil I've read. My daughter made a meal almost like your frittata -she's vegan but she used the eggs anyway.

Thought I was finishing up with Halo 1 but there's 3 more chapters, it's a long game and a good one.
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Friday's - 06/14/13 10:51 PM

Yankee, I use unrefined coconut oil for almost everything I saute. I do not use butter at all and if I really need something else, I use Extra virgin olive oil. It's good with the baby spinach but still yummy without. I like throwing in greens where I can hide them. I tried kale and spring mix in it and I did not care for it.
Enjoy your game! I remember my son playing that for hours on end. grin
Posted by: Space Quest Fan

Re: Friday's - 06/15/13 01:21 AM

Good night Boomers. sleep