GB HOMEPAGE

Toosday

Posted By: gymcandy1

Toosday - 07/02/13 04:48 AM

Our problems are man-made, therefore they may be solved by man. No problem of human destiny is beyond human beings.
John F. Kennedy (1917 - 1963)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A man in a bar saw a friend at a table, drinking by himself.

Approaching the friend he commented, "You look terrible. What's the problem?".

"My mother died in June", he said, "and left me $10,000".

"Gee, that's tough", he replied.

"Then in July", the driend continued, "My father died, leaving me $50,000".

"Wow. Two parents gone in two months. No wonder your'e depressed".

"And last month my aunt died, and left me $15,000".

"Three close family members lost in three months? How sad".

"Then this month", continued the friend, "Nothing!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A missionary who had spent years showing a tribe of natives how to farm and build things to be self-sufficient gets the word that he is to return home.

He realizes that the one thing he never taught the natives was how to speak English, so he takes the chief and starts walking in the forest. He points to a tree and says to the chief, "This is a tree." The chief looks at the tree and grunts, "Tree."

The missionary is pleased with the response.

They walk a little farther and the padre points to a rock and says, "This is a rock." Hearing this, the chief looks and grunts, "Rock." The padre is really getting enthusiastic about the results when he hears a rustling in the bushes.

As he peeks over the top, he sees a couple in the midst of heavy sexual activity.

The padre is really flustered and quickly responds, "Riding a bike."

The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blow gun and kills them.

The padre goes ballistic and yells at the chief that he has spent years teaching the tribe how to be civilized and kind to each other, so how could he just kill these people in cold blood that way?

The chief replied, "My bike."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I'm afraid," said the heart surgeon, "that you're going to need a bypass operation."

The patient squirmed uneasily in the seat.

"I-I'd like a second opinion, if you don't mind."

"Not at all," replied the surgeon. "You're also ugly as sin."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.

When the hospital director became aware of Edna's heroic act, she immediately ordered that Edna be discharged from the hospital because she now is considered to be mentally stable. The director went to Edna and said, "I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you're being discharged because you responded so rationally to a crisis by jumping in the pool to save the life of another patient. Your action displays soundness of the mind."

"The bad news is that Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead."

Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself. I put him there to dry. When can I go home?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


A drunk phoned the police to report that thieves had broken in to his car.
"They've stolen the dashboard, steering wheel, break pedal, even the accelerator," he cried out.

However, before the police investigation could get under way the phone rang a second time, with the same voice came over the line. "Never mind," said the drunk with a hiccup, "I got in the backseat by mistake."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Two Indians and a Cajun were walking in the desert, when, all of a sudden, one of the Indians took off and ran up a hill to the mouth of a small cave. He hollered into the cave, "Wooooo! Wooooo!Woooooo!" and then listened until he heard the answer......."Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" He then proceeded to tear his clothes off and run into the cave.
The Cajun was puzzled and asked the other Indian what that was all about, was the Indian crazy or something? "No," said the other Indian. "It is mating time for us Indians and when you see a cave and holler "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!", and get an answer back it means that she is in there waiting to mate with you."

Just about then, this Indian saw another cave. He took off and ran up to the cave and hollered, "Woooo! Woooo! Wooooo!" When he heard the return "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!", off came his clothes and into the cave he went.

Well, the Cajun started thinking about all of this and decided to find a cave for himself so off he went running around the desert searching. All of a sudden, he looked up and saw a great big cave. As he looked in amazement, he was thinking, "Mon Amie! Look at zee size of dat cave. Maybe, it's beegerr den de ones dat dose Indi-ons found. Der mus be sometin' really great in dis here cave hole!"

Well, he took off up the hill at a super fast speed with his hopes of ecstasy and grandeur. He got in front of the cave and hollered, "Woooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" as loud as he could. He was just tickled all over when he heard the answering call of "WOOOOO! WOOOOO! WOOOOO!"

Off came his clothes and, with a huge smile on his face, he raced into the cave.....

The next day in the newspaper, the headline read.......

"NAKED CAJUN RUN OVER BY FREIGHT TRAIN!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome

Like sands through the old hour glass......so are the days of our lives. grin

No wonder I'm always so thirsty. shocked

I was wondering why there was always sand in my bed every morning. headscratch

Anyway it's a new day in Gameboomer land and in the diner, and I hope it's a happy one for all. rah

joe
Posted By: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Toosday - 07/02/13 04:54 AM

Joe, the fact there is another diner here for us to start the day is a happy day! hearts

Have a wonderful day Joe and all!

Ana wave
Posted By: cailyn

Re: Toosday - 07/02/13 08:16 AM

Good morning Joe,Ana waveQuiet in here this morning or it could be that it's only 3:15 tiredWishing you all a happy day! Coffee is on puppy
Posted By: Haroula

Re: Toosday - 07/02/13 08:25 AM

Good morning Joe,Ana,Sue nd all who come in later. wave
Have a nice day happydance
Posted By: Kaki's Sister

Re: Toosday - 07/02/13 09:16 AM

summer Good Morning Joe, Ana, Sue, and Haroula. Joe it is so nice to start my day in the Diner. Ana it is a happy day to start this way. Sue thanks for the coffee. Hope all is well with you. Haroula you have a nice day as well. Wishing everyone a peaceful day. summer
Posted By: venus

Re: Toosday - 07/02/13 11:06 AM

Hello and goodbye. wave
Posted By: connie

Re: Toosday - 07/02/13 11:30 AM

Good morning everyone. Took McDonald's to SIL yesterday. Today may be a bank trip, not sure yet. Nan, they are still waiting on insurance to give them the go ahead to start demo on the house. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Tuesday. Danish, French Toast, and Bacon Sandwiches in the NC. summer
Posted By: GBC

Re: Toosday - 07/02/13 11:48 AM

Good Morning Boomers

Joe, have fun today!

Ana, I agree. Just waking up in the morning is a good day for me. The Diner is a plus.

Sue, thanks for always having the coffee ready.

Haroula, happy day!

Gerry, enjoy the day!

Venus, good morning.

Connie, have fun whatever you decide to do today.

Weather is the same old, same old. Sun is hiding out there somewhere.
Posted By: gymcandy1

Re: Toosday - 07/02/13 02:33 PM

Good morning everyone. wave

It's shaping up to be a nice day in the mid 80s again, and I'm about ready to get out and get some things done. happydance

Starting with a Walmart trip to get groceries.

I hope it's a nice day for everybody. yes

Have a great day Ana, Sue, Haroula, Gerry, Venus, Connie, Gail, and all. rah

joe
Posted By: Darlene

Re: Toosday - 07/02/13 02:59 PM

wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Like sands through the old hour glass......so are the days of our lives.
I actually used to watch this soap when I was a teen.... smile Hope your day is exactly as you'd like it to be!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

One more day closer to a nice looooooonnnnggg weekend! woot

Temps still in the 100's today.

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
Posted By: auntiegram

Re: Toosday - 07/02/13 04:13 PM

Joe thanks for the laughs today! Best way to start a new day! Happy shopping!!!

Ana I pray the corner is being kind to you and that things are moving right along.

I'm not even sure that she knows that mom is gone, yet. duh Mom hasn't always been around.

Glad you had a visit from Peter!! Always a pleasant surprise!!

Cailyn thank you for getting the coffee started!! Hope you are feeling better. Is it busy in the campground?? Have a lovely day!

Haroula have a lovely day!

Gerry what plans for your day? Have a lovely day!

Gail I agree with you.....I am always glad when He has blessed me with another day!! Hope your weather gets better soon. We were at 44 when me and Sassy went walking this morning. lol One day we cook and then freeze for the next few. Have a lovely day!

venus Happy Whooshing and may work be fun and the time fly! Have a lovely day!

Connie that was nice that you went to the "Golden Arches" and brought some to sil!!! Prayers that the ins company gets a move on things so they can get on with things. HUGS to all! Thanks for the danish and have a lovely day!

Darlene may all go smoothly today! It is really nice to have a long weekend to look forward to. Have a lovely day!

No plans here yet. But then ya never know what might just pop up!!

wave
Nan
Posted By: looney4labs

Re: Toosday - 07/02/13 04:55 PM

Terrific Tuesday ya'll puppy

Rough night's sleep last night, so wimped out on the early morning walk. I do miss it. My body feels slugged out. I bet if I had gone walking I'd feel much better.

Son and Perrin still in the arms of Morpheus. Cully up playing Wii very quietly and I'm heading back to my recipe project. I think I will be able to finish it today, or at the very latest, tomorrow.

We have the sun that ya'll are missing, so come on down.
Posted By: Sorta Blonde

Re: Toosday - 07/02/13 05:14 PM

70 degrees here and 95 percent humidity! Not our normal dry climate. I feel like I showered in my clothes. Ugh!
Posted By: looney4labs

Re: Toosday - 07/02/13 06:43 PM

Sorta, that is our normal climate.....lol
Posted By: Lotus777

Re: Toosday - 07/02/13 08:09 PM

Good Afternoon!! L4L, my Mum used to tell my teenaged friends when they called that I was in the arms of Morpheus. My girlfriends never knew what to think, lol. We aren't used to humidity either, Sorta but have experienced some recently as well. It really does leave one feeling like a limp, wet rag!! I'm rearranging my art/computer room, ongoing for a month or more but I really have gained more space, which I fill back up way too soon. Off to play some more. Happy Gaming everyone!!! wave
Posted By: luv2travel

Re: Toosday - 07/02/13 08:45 PM

Hi all!
No heat please, L4L! 117 is bad enough, and no humidity. We'll get that later this month, with lower temps, but will feel it much more. Still, it feels like an oven outside.
My 17 yr old cat, Koko, went back to the vets yesterday because I thought he was dying from old age and was considering euthanasia for him. His regular vet was in and after a thorough exam, she found a huge abscess in his lower jaw from bad teeth.It's why he stopped eating and everything, and lost weight. They pulled 4 teeth under anesthesia this morning, and he's come out of it OK. Dr called and I can pick him up this evening. He's been prescribed an antibiotic for the infection. Poor kitty. I'll take real good care of him.
Stay cool and safe everyone!
Andrea cat
Posted By: Space Quest Fan

Re: Toosday - 07/02/13 09:18 PM

thumbsup on the second opinion joke Joe. lol
Posted By: looney4labs

Re: Toosday - 07/02/13 09:19 PM

Andrea luck to Koko...he is lucky to have you catrub
Posted By: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Toosday - 07/02/13 09:24 PM

Good afternoon everyone. Rough start to the day, hard to sit because my back ribs are hurting from coughing but it's getting better as the day is going along. Working 14 hours a day is not helping me any. I need fresh air.

I was so backwards this morning, I bandaged Shadows good leg and left him to chew his bad paw raw. sad Hubby caught it later and looked at me like I have officially lost it. rotfl

Peter just left. It was really nice to have him home.

I hope you all are having a wonderful day! I need to keep plugging away.

EDIT: Evelyne lost her internet and she is heading to France tomorrow for a show and returning Sunday.Nan, can she borrow your band please and thank you?
Posted By: Haroula

Re: Toosday - 07/02/13 09:42 PM

sleep wave
Posted By: auntiegram

Re: Toosday - 07/02/13 10:11 PM

L4l I don't know about you but on the days me and Sassy take a long walk first thing, I feel good the whole day but on the days we run out and right back in, so to speak, I don't seem to have as much energy. duh Happy recipe hunting!!

Andrea so glad they found the abcess and he has made it through the surgey well. Prayers that he recovers well.

Sorta It seems in the summer we always have humidity and in the winter the air is so dry that my skin wants to crack. lol

Lotus how is mom doing??? Happy Gaming!!

Space have a nice evening!

Night Haroula sleep well and pleasant dreams.

Ana prayers that you are feeling better soonest!!! Hard to believe that you would do that. lol Very understandable though with feeling the way you are. You take such good care of them it is too bad that they can't help you when you are down and out. HUGS!!!

wave
Nan
Posted By: looney4labs

Re: Toosday - 07/03/13 12:31 AM

Me too Nan, will definitely be going tomorrow.

Work on the recipes is coming along splendidly. Son is cooking chicken for supper tonight and I've got the sides ready to go. Will put the asparagus in when he goes out to cook the chicken. wave

Oops forgot, off to cook the bacon for the top...
Posted By: gymcandy1

Re: Toosday - 07/03/13 01:18 AM

Hello everyone. wave

I went up the creek without a paddle today, actually got separated from Baby, got turned around and lost for a while, and thought I wasn't going to find my doggie. blush shocked

She finally found me, and we found our way back home, ate and took a nap, then got up and gave Baby a much needed bath, sprayed the yard for insects, and took my shower. slapforehead

Now I'm late for getting to bed. rolleyes

I hope your day was a super good one. yes

I'm off to start tomorrow off. thumbsup

joe
Posted By: looney4labs

Re: Toosday - 07/03/13 02:38 AM

Eek, Joe that is scary. wave

I am off to bed. Son made wonderful meal for us. Kitchen is cleaned, dogs are fed. Time to lie down.

Sweet dreams all sleep
Posted By: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Toosday - 07/03/13 02:53 AM

Joe been there, done that and never want to do it again. So glad you found baby!
Posted By: Midge

Re: Toosday - 07/03/13 03:24 AM

Hi all. Nan I know that Ana has asked you for your BOA for tomorrow so I guess you'll be lending them to Ana for Andrea. I was going to ask you to borrow them for my trip to see my Mom tomorrow. I think Andrea needs them more than me as she has farther to travel, that's OK. I'm sure I'll be fine.

See you in the morning before my trip.

Night all.

Midgie sleep
Posted By: aserID

Re: Toosday - 07/03/13 04:21 AM

Midge-
Don't worry about tomorrow-
I've asked my guardian angel to
accompany you on your trip.
You'll be fine, just wait and
see!

Hugs to your mom! flowers

Aser wave
Posted By: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Toosday - 07/03/13 04:38 AM

Midgie, I am sure the band can watch over you and Evelyne at the same time. Anyways we are in two different time zones, so she should be safe by the time you leave. wink Give mom a hug from me too!
Posted By: aserID

Re: Toosday - 07/03/13 05:05 AM

Ana- puppy
Just read your post from
this afternoon -- backwards,
you say? You're not backwards,
Ana! You just have a lot on
your plate right now. Slow
down a little.

I haven't been around here
lately -- I wasn't aware of
Shadow's problem; he's going
to be allright, isn't he?

Take care, Ana.

Aser wave
Posted By: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Toosday - 07/03/13 05:11 AM

lol Aser, there are some days I really wonder where my brain went. Shadow will be fine, he is still running with his bandaged leg. He's a labrador, they are tough cookies! Glad you are back hope all is well.

Back to the corner for me...
© 2024 GameBoomers Community