Thump Day

Posted by: gymcandy1

Thump Day - 07/24/13 11:31 PM

I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who overcomes his enemies.
Aristotle (384 BC - 322 BC), In Stobaeus, Florilegium

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked his father, "What is this, Father?" The father [never having seen an elevator] responded "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights with numbers above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction.

The walls opened up again and a beautiful 24-year-old woman stepped out. The father says, "Go get your mother son and hurry!"

A woman from New York was getting her affairs in order. She prepared her will and made her final arraignments.

As part of these arraignments she met with her rabbi to talk about what type of funeral service she wanted, etc.

She told her rabbi she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Bloomindales.

"Bloomindales!" the rabbi said. "Why Bloomindales?"

"That way, I know my daughters will visit me twice a week."

Three students, a student from Tennessee, a student from Alabama, and a student from Auburn are out walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.

"I will give you each one wish, that's three wishes total," says the Genie.

The Tennessee student says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Tennessee."

With a blink of the Genie's eye, "FOOM," the land in Tennessee was forever made fertile for farming.

The Auburn student was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around the University of Auburn, so that nobody from out of state can come into our precious school."

Again, with the blink of the Genie's eye,"POOF," there was a huge wall around Auburn.

The Alabama student says, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall."

The Genie explains, "Well, it is about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and completely surrounds the University of Auburn. Nothing can get in or out."

The Alabama student says, "Fill it with water."

A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "You can't bring that dog in here!" The guy, without missing a beat, says "This is my seeing-eye dog." "Oh man, " the bartender says, "I'm sorry, here, the first one's on me." The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door.

Another guy walks in the bar with a Chihuahua. The first guys sees him, stops him and says "You can't bring that dog in here unless you tell him it's a seeing-eye dog." The second man graciously thanks the first man and continues to the bar. He asks for a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you can't bring that dog in here!"

The second man replies "This is my seeing-eye dog." The bartender says, "No, I don't think so. They do not have Chihauhuas as seeing-eye dogs." The man pauses for a half-second and replies "What?!?! They gave me a Chihuahua?!?"

A man who absolutely hated his wife's cat decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park.

As he was nearing home, the cat was walking up the driveway.

The next day, he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away and try the same thing.

As he was driving back into his driveway, there was the cat! He kept taking the cat farther and farther away, but the darn cat would always beat him home.

At last, he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right and so on until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and he left the cat there.

Hours later, the man calls home to his wife: "Jen, is the cat there?". "Yes," the wife answers. "Why do you ask?"

Frustrated, the man answers: "Put him on the phone. I'm lost and I need directions!"

It was the kindergarten teachers birthday and the students decided that they would each buy their teacher a gift.
The first student, whose parents own a florist shop, gave her a present. She held it and said "I guess that it is flowers". "How did you guess?" asked the little boy. She laughed and thanked him.

The second student, whose parents own a candy store, gave her a present. She held it and said, "I guess that is some candy."

"How did you guess?" asked the little boy. She again laughed and thanked him also.

The third student, whose parents own a bottle shop, gave her a box which was leaking. The teacher touched the liquid with her finger and tasted it. "Mmmmm is it wine?" she asked.

"No," said the little girl.

So she tasted it again. "Is it champagne?" she asked.

"Noooo," replied the little girl, "It's a puppy."

Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back together, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly Mother.

The first said, "I built a big house for our Mother." The second said, "I sent her a Mercedes with a driver." The third smiled and said, "I've got you both beat. You remember how Mom enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know she can't see very well any more. I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took Elders in the church 12 years to teach him. He's one of a kind. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot recites it."

Soon thereafter, Mom sent out her letters of thanks: "Milton," she wrote one son, "the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house."

"Gerald," she wrote to another, "I am too old to travel any more. My eyesight isn't what it used to be. I stay most of the time at home, so I rarely use the Mercedes. And the driver is so rude!"

"Dearest Donald," she wrote to her third son, "you have the good sense to know what your Mother likes. The chicken was a bit skinny, but was delicious all the same!"

Good morning everyboomie. welcome

What comes after Wednesday?

My other day off of course. woot

I feel just like a kid waiting for Santa to get here. happydance

Not really. rotfl

Not because of my day off anyway.

My little brother has found two arrowheads up in the Texas Panhandle, and he's going to send them to me, so I'm a little excited about that though. yes

He told me about one he'd found when he was here last week, and then yesterday he found another one. yay

I guess it runs in the family. wink

Funny, I've never been that excited about running before. rolleyes

Have a happy day everyone.


Posted by: Drmojo

Re: Thump Day - 07/24/13 11:52 PM

Hey ya Boom Boom Buddies~

Hi Joe! that is great about the arrowheads and rain dance if i ever find any i'll send
them to ya~

Hi Ana how ya doing? you going to be
racing with Peter again? smile

Hey ya L4L how are you and soot?
how's your doggies? puppy
I have not named my scooter yet, can ya
help me think of a neame?

Hi Midge how are you doing?

Hi Trippy how are you and your dogs?
it must have been one of those things
cause I thought about you too cool

Hi to all other Boomers who come in wave

Karen summer

Hi Nan how is Miss Sassy? Bella is fine
she's ripping around the house now snicker
Posted by: Haroula

Re: Thump Day - 07/25/13 02:33 AM

Good morning,hve all a great day. happydance wave
Posted by: cailyn

Re: Thump Day - 07/25/13 05:06 AM

Good morning Joe,Karen,Haroula,and all boomers waveI'm rushing off to the gym but the coffee is on!Wishing you all a happy day!It's a cool 50 degrees here now,it's a nice change puppy
Posted by: Kaki's Sister

Re: Thump Day - 07/25/13 05:21 AM

Good Morning Joe, Karen, Haroula and Cailyn. Joe enjoy your day off. Hope you find some arrow heads too. Karen so nice to see you back in the Diner. How are you doing? Haroula enjoy your day. Cailyn thanks for the coffee. It's also feeling cooler here yhis morning. Happy Day wished for All! wave
Posted by: venus

Re: Thump Day - 07/25/13 06:09 AM

Hello and goodbye. wave
Posted by: Kaki's Sister

Re: Thump Day - 07/25/13 06:13 AM

A Good Morning to you venus! Enjoy your day! cat
Posted by: connie

Re: Thump Day - 07/25/13 06:26 AM

Good morning everyone. Not sure what's on the agenda for today yet. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Thursday. Danish, Fresh Fruit, and Bacon Sandwiches in the NC. summer
Posted by: manxman

Re: Thump Day - 07/25/13 09:36 AM

Good morning boomers. wave Hope everyone has a terrific thursday smile
Posted by: Darlene

Re: Thump Day - 07/25/13 09:52 AM

wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Enjoy your day off and congrats on the arrowheads!

Hey, Ana! See you when you come in!

Hey, Midgie! hearts

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
Posted by: gymcandy1

Re: Thump Day - 07/25/13 09:59 AM

Good morning everybody. wave

I've had my breakfast, and my coffee, and now...... duh

It's going to be abundantly sunny, and abundantly uncool today, so I know I won't be doing much outside.

I need to get out and walk Baby while it's cool-er, and maybe go to WallyWorld. yes

Whatever you have planned today, I hope it's a great day for you. rah

Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Thump Day - 07/25/13 10:08 AM

Good morning boomies! Where's Gail this morning? Hope all is well.

manxman, connie, Gerry, Venus, Sue and Haroula have a happy day!

Joe, that is too cool your brother found some points too! I thought when our river finally came down after over a month of being high it would wash up some more but I only found parts. One day I'll find a perfect one.

Doc, I will absolutely run with Peter again. I already preregistered for next year. First I need to heal my back from this one. lol
LadyGaga named her wheelchair Emma. grin

I will be in the corner all day and at some point do a quick grocery run and mow the lawn.

EDIT - I type too slow. rotfl Hi Darlene! Safe Skooshing! Joe, it's too cool here, blow me some heat and I'll send you cool! It feels like fall already.

Ana wave

Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Thump Day - 07/25/13 10:22 AM

Just a quick stop as I have an appointment in just a little bit but wanted to wish everybody a lovely day!!

Thanks for the laughs Joe and enjoy your day off.

Ana hope the corner project moves right along and your back is feeling better.

Karen Sassy is doing fine. Glad Bella can run about. lol

wave Haroula, Cailyn, Gerry, Darlene, Connie, venus, manxman have a lovely day!!

Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Thump Day - 07/25/13 10:58 AM

Thumping Good Thursday guys puppy

I'm impressed. Son, who is Not a morning person, had himself and the boys up and in the van by 8:45. The crew is on the road to Nebraska. They will spend the night on the road and get there tomorrow dinner timish.I'll be taking care of Keoki, working on the books now that it will be quiet, cleaning, and doing more kitchen reorganizing. wave

Edit:Too funny...the gang just left...again....they left something and came back for it and a smoothie.
Posted by: GBC

Re: Thump Day - 07/25/13 12:02 PM

Good Afternoon Boomers

Been so busy this morning I forgot to post. Time sure does fly by. Morning is gone already.

Wishing everyone a wonderful Thump Day! flowers
Posted by: Lotus777

Re: Thump Day - 07/25/13 12:13 PM

Good Day Boomers. Still early here. I thought I posted yesterday but.... My dear Mum had her tooth extracted yesterday. One of the nurses led her back into the office and she was giggling and saying my Mum had danced down the hallway. She was in and out in under twenty mins.! If only she were done with the horrible antibiotics. Apparently this particular side effect is well known but it is worrying me a lot. Hopefully we are near the end of this trial. Thank you for asking the other day Ana. I hope your tailbone is healing and you aren't in pain. going back over to my Mum's here shortly so will close with Happy Gaming everyone!!! waveIt's a beautiful day here!!!
Posted by: Sorta Blonde

Re: Thump Day - 07/25/13 12:17 PM

I overslept...again. Guess my body isn't getting along on 6 hours of sleep anymore.

Don't remember if I told everyone that my yard kid FINALLY showed up AND did work. Wow. That was yesterday. Seems so long ago. It was only a month waiting for him to appear. He did a minimal job, took an hour to finish all on my list (so slow) and I figured he had worked off the 10 bucks I loaned him long ago, and I paid him an extra 10 for the extra work. Probably too much for an hour's work, but it was hot and humid and I was happy to finally get the stuff done. He says he still has a job at IKEA, and has signed up for his DWI classes. These of course are the SAME DWI classes he swore he finished last year. Uhhuh. Oh well, I didn't say a word. Just wanted him working and gone. Whew.

AND the empty house across the street is getting busy. Wednesday the Niece from the South showed up, was there a bit and then gone. She had another guy with her this time, probably hubby or son? Then the 'real estate' guy showed up. Not sure yet if he really is that or maybe an 'estate agent'. Can't tell. He's not there long enough, but he and the Niece took off in his car for about an hour.

Yesterday, She and the other man (hubby or son) were back for a short time, and Hazmat showed up just after they left. Found nobody there and left also. Weird.

TODAY: Wow. Snake and son, another van I don't recognize, 'real estate guy' and the Niece and man. Now I hear hammering, sawing, nailing, and there is a small 'No Tresspassing' sign nailed under one of the windows. Way to advertise the place is totally empty and available for breakins. Geeez.

I think, they are boarding up the windows. Will know later when I take my walk. Very strange stuff going on. Maybe a for sale sign will appear soon but if they are boarding it all up, there will be no light in there to see anything. Hummm. Tales to be told later.

Fighting fleas in the house...still. Second dose for my lone Indoorsie. He is dropping flea eggs all over. Yuk! Spraying the rugs, vacuuming, doing all I can to not get an infestation. Only have seen 3 real fleas and killed those. Poor things. I wonder if they can swim? catrub
Posted by: gymcandy1

Re: Thump Day - 07/25/13 02:07 PM

Hey everybody. wave

I went to the creek against my better judgement, but so happy I did because I found this little Dart Point . woot

It's about as thin as two sheets of tissue. I can't imagine how it survived all the hundreds of years out there in perfect condition. penguin

Now I have to clean up and go to Walmart real quick. happydance

joe wave
Posted by: Lotus777

Re: Thump Day - 07/25/13 02:26 PM

Ooooh, it's beautiful, Joe. So elegant. I wonder what it was used for....
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Thump Day - 07/25/13 02:39 PM

Nan, hope the appt goes well. hearts

L4L, enjoy your quiet house. I hope soot and fam have a safe journey.

Gail, glad you are okay!

Lotus, glad your mom has the extraction behind her. I hope now she can do a speedy recovery.

Sorta, I hope you can get rid of the fleas. Glad you got your work done outside that wanted done also. yay

Joe, well done! It's beautiful. woot
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Thump Day - 07/25/13 02:41 PM

Joe, that is beautiful!

Family on the road, 2 drawers in the kitchen have been cleaned out and revamped. I have a couple more to do though....I guess I'm spring cleaning in the summer puppy
Posted by: Haroula

Re: Thump Day - 07/25/13 02:49 PM

Tomorrow my mum is coming to stay with jr.for 3 days.
We have a wedding in the other side of Greece yes
Well its a little honeymoon trip for us...
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Thump Day - 07/25/13 04:15 PM

Haroula, it sounds like a grand time. Enjoy!
Posted by: Space Quest Fan

Re: Thump Day - 07/25/13 04:20 PM

Good afternoon Boomers. wave
Posted by: Haroula

Re: Thump Day - 07/25/13 04:47 PM

sleep wave
Posted by: Sorta Blonde

Re: Thump Day - 07/25/13 06:13 PM

Finally back from doing absolutely nothing productive. Looked at empty house with the new NO Tresspassing signs. Seems they are all over the place on all sides. No boarded up anything that I can see. Might have been noise from next door with their new roof project. Everybody left from empty house very early and no one has returned. Very strange doings. I figured the Niece would be going through more of his 'stuff'. Maybe she has given up on all that and doesn't care. Other option is she has already sold the house to the Snake guy and he will be taking over everything. Would be horrible. Creepy, dishonest man and his family too. Crossing fingers I'm wrong on this one.
Posted by: Space Quest Fan

Re: Thump Day - 07/25/13 09:04 PM

See you tomorrow Boomers. wave
Posted by: Midge

Re: Thump Day - 07/25/13 10:53 PM

Boy am I late checking in today. The day is almost over for me. I hope you all had a good day. Hey Darlene kissy. How's your beautiful daughter doing?

Joe when did you start wanting to find arrow heads? I can't remember.

Night SQFan. Have a good night. Hi L4L. Is it just you and your 4 legged friends while Soot is gone? I'll be happy to go over and keep you company smile

Time for me to say good night. I have an early shift in the morning.


Midgie sleep hearts
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Thump Day - 07/26/13 12:21 AM

Night all sleep well and pleasant dreams!!!