Wonderlust Wednesday

Posted by: gymcandy1

Wonderlust Wednesday - 09/24/13 07:52 PM

Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it.
Michel de Montaigne (1533 - 1592)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The poor country pastor was livid when he confronted his wife with the receipt for a $250 dress she had bought. "How could you do this!" he exclaimed.
"I don't know," she wailed, "I was standing in the store looking at the dress. Then I found myself trying it on. It was like the Devil was whispering to me, 'Gee, you look great in that dress. You should buy it.'"
"Well," the pastor persisted, "You know how to deal with him! Just tell him, "Get behind me, Satan!"
"I did," replied his wife, "but then he said "It looks great from back here, too!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Childrens' Minds

A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. Their insight may surprise you.

Better to be safe than...punch a 5th grader.

Never underestimate the power of...termites.

You can lead a horse to water but...how?

Don't bite the hand that...looks dirty.

No news is... impossible.

A miss is as good as a... Mr.

You can't teach an old dog new... math.

If you lie down with dogs, you'll... stink in the morning.

Love all, trust... me.

The pen is mightier than the... pigs.

An idle mind is... the best way to relax.

Where there's smoke there's... pollution.

A penny saved is... not much.

Don't put off till tomorrow what...you put on to go to bed.

Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and... you have to blow your nose.

None are so blind as... Stevie Wonder.

Children should be seen and not... spanked or grounded.

If at first you don't succeed... get new batteries.

You get out of something what you... see pictured on the box.

When the blind leadeth the blind... get out of the way.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


This one little boy in about 4th or 5th grade was trying out for a school play. He earned a part and went home to tell his father.

His father was really proud of him. So his father asks what part did you get?

He replies I got the part of a man who has been married for 25 years.

His father congratulated him. And then he said "That's good son, you won't have to memorize any lines!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


"Oh, no!" he gasped as he surveyed the disaster before him. Never in his 40
years of life had he seen anything like it. How anyone could have survived he
did not know. He could only hope that somewhere amid the overwhelming
destruction he would find his 16-year-old son. Only the slim hope of finding
Danny kept him from turning and fleeing the scene.
He took a deep breath and proceeded. Walking was virtually impossible with so
many things strewn across his path. He moved ahead slowly. "Danny! Danny!" he
whispered to himself.
He tripped and almost fell several times. He heard someone, or something,
move. At least he thought he did. Perhaps, he was just hoping he did. He shook
his head and felt his gut tighten. He couldn't understand how this could have
happened. There was some light but not enough to see very much. Something cold
and wet brushed against his hand. He jerked it away.
In desperation, he took another step then cried out, "Danny!"
From a nearby pile of unidentified material, he heard his son. "Yes, Dad," he
said, in a voice so weak it could hardly be heard.
"It's time to get up and get ready for school," the man sighed, "And for
heaven's sake, clean up this room!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


One day mom was cleaning juniors room and in the closet she found a bondage S+M magazine. This was highly upsetting for her.

She hid the magazine until his father got home and showed it to him.

He looked at it and handed it back to her with out a word.

She finally asked him, "Well what should we do about this?"

Dad looked at her and said, "Well, I don't think you should spank him."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kid's Books That Should Never Be Written:

'You Were an Accident'

'Strangers Have the Best Candy'

'The Little Sissy Who Snitched'

'Some Kittens Can Fly!'

'The Protocols of the Grandpas of Zion'

'How to Dress Sexy for Grownups'

'Getting More Chocolate on Your Face'

'Where Would You Like to Be Buried?'

'Katy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her'

'The Attention Deficit Disorder Association's Book of Wild Animals of North
Amer Hey! Let's Go Ride Our Bikes!'

'All Dogs Go to Hell'

'The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking'

'When Mommy and Daddy Don't Know the Answer They Say God Did It'

'Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia'

'What Is That Dog Doing to That Other Dog?'

'Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?'

'Bi-Curious George'

'Daddy Drinks Because You Cry'

'Mister Policeman Eats His Service Revolver'

'You Are Different and That's Bad'

'Why God Burned Down Disney Land'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome

I'm almost ready to say "not tonight, I've got a headache." razz

What is a headache anyway but tense throbbing muscles, and sometimes that's not such a bad thing.

Not tonight dear. Go ahead and go to bed and start without me. snicker

I have three very early starts this week, and then it's a nuther weekend. Ya Hoo! penguin

Those early starts though, "HOO WEE!" shocked

I need to be horizontal to even think about those. sleep

So... wink

Have a happy day everyone. wave

joe

Posted by: Space Quest Fan

Re: Wonderlust Wednesday - 09/24/13 08:15 PM

thanks for the jokes Joe. rotfl
Posted by: Midge

Re: Wonderlust Wednesday - 09/24/13 10:34 PM

Thanks Joe for your openers. See you in the morning. Oh...can I have BB pancakes when I come in the diner? Pleaseandthankyou.

Midgie hearts
Posted by: Haroula

Re: Wonderlust Wednesday - 09/25/13 02:49 AM

Good morning everyone,have all a nice day. smile wave
Posted by: Kaki's Sister

Re: Wonderlust Wednesday - 09/25/13 05:32 AM

Good Morning Joe, SpaceQ, Midgie and Haroula. Joe love your funnies. SpaceQ enjoy your day. Midgie blueberry pancakes in the Diner especially for you today! Haroula you have a nice day too. Coffee is hot! Happy Day All! fall
Posted by: GBC

Re: Wonderlust Wednesday - 09/25/13 06:01 AM

Good Morning Boomers

Joe, loved the dress joke. lol

Space, good morning.

Haroula, wishing you a nice day also.

Midge, good morning. Do you have the day off today?

Gerry, thanks for the coffee.

Good day to All! Dog walking this morning. A few errands to run and Family Night at church tonight. happydance
Posted by: connie

Re: Wonderlust Wednesday - 09/25/13 06:47 AM

Good morning everyone. The bank and BJ's are on the agenda for today. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Hump day. Danish, BB Pancakes, and Muffins, in the NC. fall
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Wonderlust Wednesday - 09/25/13 09:43 AM

Popping in fast to say good mornning! My internet was down more than up yesterday and I couldn't post. So far so good today, but just in case, I am giving a quick hello!

Midgie, want me to come down and give the man what he deserves? Hell hath no fury than that of a friend of a woman scorned! hearts You deserve better and I wouldn't stand for it.

Joe, thanks for starting the day!

I am off to Insanity in just a few minutes, then run the dogs and then it's a long corner day. So far behind, but I need to move my body.

Have a happy day all!
Posted by: Darlene

Re: Wonderlust Wednesday - 09/25/13 09:59 AM

wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Hope the next few days go easy peasy for you, then it's on to your weekend!

Oh, Midgie! Big hugs for you! hearts

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!

Oh! And did I mention I recorded the new NCIS to view tonight! Wooooohoooo!!! woot
Posted by: flutist

Re: Wonderlust Wednesday - 09/25/13 10:36 AM

Heading for Purina Farms Pembroke Welsh Corgi events. Gonna see the puppies. Will try not to have one follow me home. LOL.

Back sometime this afternoon.

Bets
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Wonderlust Wednesday - 09/25/13 11:11 AM

Joe those early morning starts are worth the weekend off and I hope they go by fast! Thanks for the chuckles and have a nice day!

Haroula have a lovely day!

Midge.....blueberry pancakes it is!!! Enjoy your day off! Have some fun!

Space have a lovely day!

Gerry enjoy your walk and have a lovely day!

Gail have a nice ,walk with the dogs and may the errand runnning be fun. Enjoy family night!!

Connie have fun shopping. May something fun jump in the cart. Thanks for the treats and have a lovely day!

Ana hope the net behaves itself today!! Enjoy class and have a lovely run with the dogs. May the corner be kind to you! Have a lovely day!

Darlene may all go smoothly at work today! Enjoy the recorded show! Have a lovely day!

Oh Bets have a lovely time today!!!

wave
Nan
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Wonderlust Wednesday - 09/25/13 12:01 PM

Wonderful Wednesday ya'll puppy

Doc just called and Keoki is out of surgery happydance Will pick him up before they close tonight. Rainy rainy rainy and gray! Think I will head back to bed as I most certainly did not sleep last night. wave
Posted by: Sorta Blonde

Re: Wonderlust Wednesday - 09/25/13 12:12 PM

Unhappy people are the worst. Sorry about your 'work' Midge. Sounds like it's more emotionally draining than physical.

L4L, hope Keoki does well after that surgery. Sounds like the doc knows his job.

RUG arrived yesterday afternoon. Not in a FedEx truck, but just a rental van that was from some place. Didn't recognize it at all until the guy got out and shoved a huge rug at me. Tried it in the bedroom. Was all ready to get my neighbor to lift the HEAVY antique Iron bed for me to remove the old rug and put this one in, but something stopped me.

I played around with the new rug, noticed the SMELL was awful (polypropylene) and wondered if it would go away. Then I noticed that after walking on it with my bare feet, my feet started to sting like when I accidentally step in bug spray on the floor or cleaning products I've used. Hummmmm.

Decided to give it a night and walk over it several times to see if the 'foot' thing was from the rug or just something else. It WAS the rug. So it's a no-go on the bedroom. Too flat and not soft anyway.

This morning, I dragged it out to my deck, arranged it near the benches in one corner and it looks great out there. Digger, the black and white feral immediately 'claimed' it as HER spot to lounge and play. Then her mom, Rags followed suit. Got some great pictures of them both.

Guess I have an new outdoor rug to brighten my deck. It is after all an indoor/outdoor impervious to everything rug. Won't rot, stain, mildew, fade, etc. Water just soaks through and it will be easy to hose off with the rest of the deck. Oh well.

Back to the drawing board for the bedroom rug. I'll probably actually have to GO to a real store in person, and look at REAL rugs on display to find the one I want. I needed a project. Not.
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Wonderlust Wednesday - 09/25/13 02:10 PM

L4L, glad that the surgery is over for Keoki! puppy Now it's time to heal.

Evelyne lost her internet again so she says hi and will be here when it comes back on.

Insanity class over, 2.5 mile hike with the dogs and now it's in the corner until bedtime. Ugh...
Posted by: Space Quest Fan

Re: Wonderlust Wednesday - 09/25/13 04:18 PM

Good afternoon Boomers. happydance
Posted by: gymcandy1

Re: Wonderlust Wednesday - 09/25/13 06:43 PM

Hey everybody. wave

I wondered to work dark and early this morning, and had a super busy day, and then I wondered back home. My wonderlust is over for this day. wink

I'm off now to get another early one started. I'll need lots of coffee I think. tired

I hope everyone is having a super day. happydance

joe
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Wonderlust Wednesday - 09/25/13 09:47 PM

Ahhh got my Keoki man picked up and settled. He is still pretty groggy...which is a good thing and a bad thing. Good as he is not in as much pain, and bad in that we totally cannot leave him unwatched. Can't kennel him as it would be almost impossible for us to get in and get him out if necessary without hurting him.

Kitchen has been spiffed up. Bread is rising on the stove and should get popped into the oven in about 30 minutes. Now it's time to sit and rest for a bit. wave
Posted by: manxman

Re: Wonderlust Wednesday - 09/25/13 10:26 PM

Hi everyone. Hope you all had a wonderful Wednesday. I spent all day playing Dragon's Dogma. Very addicting smile
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Wonderlust Wednesday - 09/25/13 11:24 PM

Sweet dreams all....it's been a long full day.

Ana wave
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Wonderlust Wednesday - 09/26/13 12:46 AM

L4l so glad that Keoki is home now. Prayers that all went well and he has a speedy recovery!

Time here to call it a day! Night all sleep well and pleasant dreams!!

sleep
Nan