Hump Day

Posted by: gymcandy1

Hump Day - 11/05/13 11:36 PM

I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
- Frank Lloyd Wright (1868-1959)

An Irishman is sitting at the end of a bar. He sees a lamp at the end of the table. He walks down to it and rubs it. Out pops a genie. It says, "I will give you three wishes."

The man thinks awhile. Finally he says, "I want a beer that never is empty."

With that, the genie makes a poof sound and on the bar is a bottle of beer. The Irishman starts drinking it and right before it is gone, it starts to refill. The genie asks about his next two wishes.

The man says, "I want two more of these."

A couple just started their Lamaze class, and they were given an activity requiring the husband to wear a bag of sand - to give him an idea of what it feels like to be pregnant. The husband stood up and shrugged saying, This doesn't feel so bad.

The instructor then dropped a pen and asked the husband to pick it up.

You want me to pick up the pen as if I were pregnant, the way my wife would do it the husband asked.

Exactly, replied the instructor.

To the delight of the other husbands, he turned to his wife and said, Honey, pick up that pen for me.?

Harley Davidson

Arthur (Harley)Davidson, died and went to heaven.

At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven."

Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with God."

St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room and introduced him to God.
God recognized Arthur and commented, "Okay, so you were the one who invented the Harley Davidson motorcycle?"

Arthur said, "Yep, that's me."

God said, "Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution and can't run without a road?"

Arthur was apparently embarrassed, but finally he said, "Excuse me, but aren't You the inventor of woman?"

God said, "Yes."

"Well," said Arthur, "professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention:

1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusions;
2. It chatters constantly at high speeds;
3. Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much;
4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust;
5. And the maintenance costs are enormous!"

"Hmmm, you have some good points there," replied God, "hold on." God went to His Celestial super computer, typed in a few words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it.

"Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed," God said to Arthur, "but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours."

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. Why of course, comes the reply.

The first man then asks: Where are you from?

I'm from Ireland, replies the second man.

The first man responds: You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland.

Of Course, replies the second man.

Curious, the first man then asks:"Where in Ireland are you from?

Dublin, comes the reply.

I can't believe it, says the first man."I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin.

Of course, replies the second man.

Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: What school did you go to?

Saint Mary's, replies the second man. I graduated in 62.

This is unbelievable! the first man says. I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!

About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. What's been going on? he asks the bartender.

Nothing much, replies the bartender. The O'Malley twins are drunk again.

A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring.

This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense."

The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings."

"Don't make such a big deal out of this, it's only an earring," he replies sheepishly.

His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to say, "So, how long have you been wearing one?"

"Ever since my wife found it in my truck..."

A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better. I have an 18-year old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?"

The doctor considered his question for a minute and then said, "I have an elderly friend who is a hunter and never misses a season. One day when he was going out in a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his umbrella instead of his gun. When he got to the Creek, he saw a rabbit sitting beside the stream. He raised his umbrella and went, 'bang, bang' and the rabbit fell dead. What do you think of that?"

The 90-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else killed that rabbit."

The doctor replied, "My point exactly."

Good morning guys. welcome

I don't know if I'm going to make it through this week.

Yesterday was looonnng, starting at 4am. I didn't have to get up at 4am, but my body decided it was going to wake up ANY WAY!! rolleyes

After that, try three hours of tossing and turning, and every time I did, so did my little doggie next to me. puppy

As I think about it now, it would have been more pleasant trying to sleep on a trampoline.

I always slept well in the Navy, when our ship was at sea, and rolling back and forth.

The rougher the seas, the better I liked it. sleep

"Rock me baby, rock me baby all night long". penguin

Then at work for a mid-shift 10am to 7pm. At least the morning was kinda busy. There were inventory people everywhere in our store, ah......because we're doing inventory this week. headscratch

The afternoon dragged on, with me trying to stay busy and pass the time as quickly as possible.

I get off work, rush home, roll around on the bed wrestling with my dog, then jump in the shower, by myself, then fix some dinner, then sit down, finally, to watch some TV...... Naked Vegas OooLaLa..... woot

Through most of my evening I've been trying to get this post done so I could game a little but oops a little BIT (I think I would like a little butt), but that's not what I was referring too, sorry!!

I wanted to do a little 'bit' of gaming, 'but' that ain't gonna happen sweet heart. shame


Only two more days just like that one to go. tired

It's 10:30 now, and I'm not really that tired yet. Maybe I COULD do a tiny bit of gaming, but I'm afraid if I go in and start blasting away at BIGGA DADDYS I'll get all jacked up and hyper and not sleep again tonight.

What the heck.... pumpkin

Have a hyper day everyone.

Posted by: Haroula

Re: Hump Day - 11/06/13 01:41 AM

Good morning my friends,have all a nice day. smile wave
Posted by: Kaki's Sister

Re: Hump Day - 11/06/13 05:19 AM

pumpkin Good Morning Joe and Haroula. Joe hope you sleep! Haroula coffee is ready.I'm off to the dentist this morning. thumbsdown Enjoy your day everyone! pumpkin
Posted by: Haroula

Re: Hump Day - 11/06/13 06:34 AM

Gerry luckat the dentist eek
Thanks for the coffee smile wave
Posted by: connie

Re: Hump Day - 11/06/13 06:59 AM

Good morning everyone. A trip to the mall is in order. To all here and all who follow, have a Great Hump day. Danish, Bacon Sandwiches, and BB Pancakes in the NC. fall Nan, I'm sending some warm weather your way, 85 here today.
Posted by: manxman

Re: Hump Day - 11/06/13 07:25 AM

Good morning boomers. Hope everyone has a wonderful wednesday smile
Posted by: GBC

Re: Hump Day - 11/06/13 08:22 AM

Good Morning Boomers

Joe, loved the earring one. lol

Haroula, have a nice day!

Gerry, thanks for the coffee. Good luck at the dentist.

Sue, how are you?

Connie, enjoy the Mall trip.

Morning Manxman!

Housework is beckoning me! Tonight is Family Night at church. Wishing everyone a great Hump Day! puppy

Posted by: Darlene

Re: Hump Day - 11/06/13 09:54 AM

wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Have a happy Hump Day!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Hump Day - 11/06/13 11:36 AM

lol Joe you are too funny!! Hope the time flies for you today!! Thanks for the laughs.

Haroula have a lovely day!

Gerry thanks for the coffee and have a lovely day!

Cailyn hope all is well there. HUGS!

Connie have a fun day at the mall. Thanks for the danish!

Gail hope the housecleaning is quick so you can do some gaming. Enjoy this evenings family night and have a lovely day!

Manxman have a lovely day!

Darlene may work fly and all go smoothly! Have a lovely day!

No plans till tonight and then I have a meeting to go to!

Ana hope the corner is kind!


Edit: I forgot......I have Abbi today to watch and play. happydance
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Hump Day - 11/06/13 12:00 PM

Good morning boomies! It's been a rainy night and day so far. Great for working. grin Hubby had new tires put on my truck last night so I won't be sliding around anymore. hearts

I'll be going to Insanity tonight and the rest of the day is in the corner.

Nan, enjoy your Abbi day!

Gerry, hope the dentist visit went well.

Joe, I love hunting Big Daddys! One of these days I'll load that up again.

Have a happy day all!
Posted by: Sorta Blonde

Re: Hump Day - 11/06/13 12:37 PM

Off to Wally Mart today to buy, of all things, a cheese grater. Duh.

I rarely use one, but I know I had at least 3 of them UNTIL my neighbor wanted to borrow one and then I discovered I had NONE!

I'm now sure that my ex #2 took them all when he left (that was over 10 years ago!) Shows how much I used a grater. rotfl

He was an avid grater of all sorts of things and I distinctly remember going out to buy graters with him. He picked them out. I guess he also figured they were his property since they are no longer in my house. How funny is this?

Same thing happened with hubby #1 who left in 1995. When I left on vacation, he entered the house and took ALL the chairs. Dining chairs, stools, rocking chairs, AND the outdoor chairs. Oh and my kitchen table, AND 2 lovely indoor palm trees planted in antique crocks that my Mom gave to me. Huge crocks with nice designs on the front. Didn't discover the loss of the palms for a year of more when I was looking at old photos and remembered I had them! I did however, notice immediately that there were NO chairs left in my kingdom. Geez.

I've gotta keep track of my stuff better. OR just not have any more hubbys to carry them off when I'm not looking. thumbsup
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Hump Day - 11/06/13 01:28 PM

Wonderful Wednesday ya'll puppy

Just back from walking the Keoki man. It wasn't as warm today as yesterday but still, I was in shorts and a t-shirt so I'm not gonna complain.

Major Booking Cooking commencing now! wave
Posted by: Haroula

Re: Hump Day - 11/06/13 04:07 PM

sleep wave
Posted by: Space Quest Fan

Re: Hump Day - 11/06/13 04:20 PM

Good afternoon Boomers. wave
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Hump Day - 11/06/13 04:42 PM

Night Haroula, sweet dreams sleep

Afternoon, Space wave
Posted by: SharonB

Re: Hump Day - 11/06/13 05:06 PM

Hello Boomers! Had a nice day today. Did PT and was wore out but happy. Then went grocery shopping and was wore out but happy till I got to the register and got shocked by the total.

A good day today. Weather was just right for a fall day.

Hope you all had good days too!

Sharon catrub
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Hump Day - 11/06/13 09:16 PM

Sharon, that Sticker shock gets a lot of us. I hope you sleep well tonight. wave
Posted by: Midge

Re: Hump Day - 11/06/13 09:32 PM

Hi all. My day off was very restful. I stayed in all day except to check my mail. I was totally relaxed after working very hard for so long. I hope you all had a good day. I have to travel to Waltham in the morning to the pain clinic. Boy I don't know here the monthe of October went.

Night all.
Midgie hearts sleep pumpkin fall
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Hump Day - 11/06/13 11:13 PM

Night guys, sleep well sleep

luck Midgy....
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Hump Day - 11/07/13 01:20 AM

Night all sleep well and pleasant dreams!