Posted By: gymcandy1
TGIF Edited - 11/22/13 03:43 AM
I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.
Charles Lamb
AH, a man after my own heart.
~~~~~~~~~~
A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms.
"Now, class, closely observe the worms," said the professor while putting a worm into the water.
The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be. He then put the second worm into the whiskey. It curled up and writhed about painfully, then quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail.
"Now, what lesson can we learn from this experiment?" the professor asked.
Johnny, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded confidently, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms."
~~~~~~~~
A kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came to present what they'd found, the first little boy walked up to the front of the class made a small white dot on the blackboard and sat back down. Puzzled, the teacher asked him just what it was.
"It's a period,'' said the little boy.
"Well, I can see that,'' she said, ''but what is so exciting about a period?''
''I honestly don't know mam,'' said the little boy, ''but this morning my sister was missing one, Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted, and the man next door shot himself."
~~~~~~~~~~
A mother, accompanied by her small daughter, was in New York City. The mother was trying to hail a cab, when her daughter noticed several wildly dressed women who were loitering on a nearby street corner.
The mother finally hailed her cab and they both climbed in, at which point the young daughter asks her mother, "Mommy, what are all those ladies waiting for by that corner?"
The mother replies, "Those ladies are waiting for their husbands to come by and pick them up on the way home from work."
The cabby, upon hearing this exchange, turns to the mother and says, "Ah, C'mon lady! Tell your daughter the truth! For crying out loud...They're hookers!"
A brief period of silence follows, and the daughter then asks, "Mommy, do the hooker ladies have any children?"
The mother replies, "Of course, Dear. Where do you think cabbies come from?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Having storms and internet on and off, so I'm throwing Friday's welcome mat out now just in case.
Good morning everyboomie.
I have to be at work at 6:00 in the morning. Winter finally got here. It's rainy, cold and blustery and we have a possibility for some snow in the morning.
I doubt it will happen, but exciting prospect anyway.
I've got to get to bed,
or I'm gonna be dead,
at least in the head,
but not the grateful dead.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
Charles Lamb
AH, a man after my own heart.
~~~~~~~~~~
A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms.
"Now, class, closely observe the worms," said the professor while putting a worm into the water.
The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be. He then put the second worm into the whiskey. It curled up and writhed about painfully, then quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail.
"Now, what lesson can we learn from this experiment?" the professor asked.
Johnny, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded confidently, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms."
~~~~~~~~
A kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came to present what they'd found, the first little boy walked up to the front of the class made a small white dot on the blackboard and sat back down. Puzzled, the teacher asked him just what it was.
"It's a period,'' said the little boy.
"Well, I can see that,'' she said, ''but what is so exciting about a period?''
''I honestly don't know mam,'' said the little boy, ''but this morning my sister was missing one, Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted, and the man next door shot himself."
~~~~~~~~~~
A mother, accompanied by her small daughter, was in New York City. The mother was trying to hail a cab, when her daughter noticed several wildly dressed women who were loitering on a nearby street corner.
The mother finally hailed her cab and they both climbed in, at which point the young daughter asks her mother, "Mommy, what are all those ladies waiting for by that corner?"
The mother replies, "Those ladies are waiting for their husbands to come by and pick them up on the way home from work."
The cabby, upon hearing this exchange, turns to the mother and says, "Ah, C'mon lady! Tell your daughter the truth! For crying out loud...They're hookers!"
A brief period of silence follows, and the daughter then asks, "Mommy, do the hooker ladies have any children?"
The mother replies, "Of course, Dear. Where do you think cabbies come from?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Having storms and internet on and off, so I'm throwing Friday's welcome mat out now just in case.
Good morning everyboomie.
I have to be at work at 6:00 in the morning. Winter finally got here. It's rainy, cold and blustery and we have a possibility for some snow in the morning.
I doubt it will happen, but exciting prospect anyway.
I've got to get to bed,
or I'm gonna be dead,
at least in the head,
but not the grateful dead.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
To all awake, 
Darlene wine & food tasting sounds like a fun time. 
Haroula hope you are feeling better. Coffee, hot chocolate and goodies are ready. Happy Day wished for All! 
I hope you have a great day!
