Posted By: gymcandy1
Hump Day's - 04/02/14 06:23 AM
I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship.
Louisa May Alcott (1832 - 1888)
~~~~~~~~~
You're stuck between the Baby Boomers and Generations X'ers if...
1. You remember when Jordache jeans with a flat handle comb in the back pocket was cool.
2. In your class picture you were wearing an Izod shirt with the collar up.
3. You know by heart the words to any Weird Al Yankovic song (Just eat it, eat it, don't make me repeat it...)
4. You ever rang someone's doorbell and said "Landshark!"
5. Three words: ATARI, IntelliVision and Coleco, sound familiar.
6. You remember the premier of MTV, in fact, you remember the Friday Night Videos before the days of MTV.
7. A predominant color in your childhood photos is plaid.
8. While in high school, you and your friends discussed elaborate plans to get together again at the end of the century and play Prince's "1999" until you passed out partying.
9. You remember when music that was labeled alternative, really was alternative. And when alternative comedy really was funny.
10. You took family trips BEFORE the invention of the minivan.
11 You rode in the back of the station wagon and you faced the cars behind you.
12. You've recently horrified yourself by using any one of the following phrases: When I was younger...When I was your age...You know,back when...
13. Schoolhouse Rock played a HUGE part in how you actually learned the English language (Conjunction junction, what's your function....).
14. You ever dressed to emulate a person you saw in either a Duran Duran, Madonna or Cyndi Lauper video.
15. The first time you ever kissed someone at a dance came during either "Crazy for You" or "Leather and Lace".
16. You remember with pain the sad day when the Green Machine hit the streets and made our old Big Wheel quite obsolete.
17. The phrase "Where's the beef?" still doubles you over with laughter.
18. You honestly remember when film critics raved that no movie could ever possibly get better special effects than those in the movie TRON.
19. You had a crush on either Ted the photographer on The Love Boat, Gage from Emergency or Ponch the motorcycle cop from CHiPs.
20. Your hair at some point in time in the 80's became something which can only be described by the phrase, "I was experimenting."
21. You've shopped at a Benetton.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aphorisms
It's not whether you win or lose,
but how you place the blame.
You are not drunk
if you can lie on the floor
without holding on.
We have enough "youth".
How about a fountain of "smart"?
The original point and click interface
was a Smith & Wesson.
A Fool and his money
can throw one heck of a party
When blondes have more fun,do they know it?
Five days a week my body is a temple.
The other two it's an amusement park.
LEARN FROM YOUR PARENTS' MISTAKES
USE BIRTH CONTROL
Money isn't everything,
but it sure keeps the kids in touch.
Don't Drink and Drive
You might hit a bump and spill something.
If at first you don't succeed
skydiving is not for you
Reality is only an illusion
that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.
We are born naked, wet and hungry.
Then things get worse.
Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers
give the rest a bad name.
Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge
to produce reproductive organs.
Alabama state motto:
At least we're not Mississippi
ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE IS NO
MATCH FOR NATURAL STUPIDITY.
The latest survey shows that
three out of four people make
up 75% of the population
"You know why a banana is like a politician?"
"He comes in and first he is green,
then he turns yellow
and then he's rotten."
"I think Congressmen should wear uniforms,
you know, like NASCAR drivers, so we could
identify their corporate sponsors."
The reason Politicians try so
hard to get re-elected is that they
would 'hate' to have to make a living
under the laws they've passed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The truths about life, that little children have learnt:
1. No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2. When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3. If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4. Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5. You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6. Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7. Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8. You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9. Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10. The best place to be when you're sad is Grandma's lap.
The great truths about life, that adults have learnt:
1. Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
2. Wrinkles don't hurt.
3. Families are like fudge . . .mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4. Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5. Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6. Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
Great truths about growing old:
1. Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2. Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3. When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4. You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5. It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6. Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7. Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
Great truths about the different stages of life:
1. You believe in Santa Claus.
2. You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3. You are Santa Claus.
4. You look like Santa Claus.
Great truths about success in life:
At age 4 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 20 success is . . . having sex.
At age 35 success is . . . having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 60 success is . . . having sex.
At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Good morning everyboomie.
I've waited a little too late to start this, and I'm more than a little almost falling to sleep.
At my age success is getting through a post without falling asleep.
I'm NOT successful tonight.
Maybe I am asleep, and just dreaming that I'm doing my post and falling asleep in the middle of it. 
That would be one of them.........what do you call it?..........Nightmares
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
Louisa May Alcott (1832 - 1888)
~~~~~~~~~
You're stuck between the Baby Boomers and Generations X'ers if...
1. You remember when Jordache jeans with a flat handle comb in the back pocket was cool.
2. In your class picture you were wearing an Izod shirt with the collar up.
3. You know by heart the words to any Weird Al Yankovic song (Just eat it, eat it, don't make me repeat it...)
4. You ever rang someone's doorbell and said "Landshark!"
5. Three words: ATARI, IntelliVision and Coleco, sound familiar.
6. You remember the premier of MTV, in fact, you remember the Friday Night Videos before the days of MTV.
7. A predominant color in your childhood photos is plaid.
8. While in high school, you and your friends discussed elaborate plans to get together again at the end of the century and play Prince's "1999" until you passed out partying.
9. You remember when music that was labeled alternative, really was alternative. And when alternative comedy really was funny.
10. You took family trips BEFORE the invention of the minivan.
11 You rode in the back of the station wagon and you faced the cars behind you.
12. You've recently horrified yourself by using any one of the following phrases: When I was younger...When I was your age...You know,back when...
13. Schoolhouse Rock played a HUGE part in how you actually learned the English language (Conjunction junction, what's your function....).
14. You ever dressed to emulate a person you saw in either a Duran Duran, Madonna or Cyndi Lauper video.
15. The first time you ever kissed someone at a dance came during either "Crazy for You" or "Leather and Lace".
16. You remember with pain the sad day when the Green Machine hit the streets and made our old Big Wheel quite obsolete.
17. The phrase "Where's the beef?" still doubles you over with laughter.
18. You honestly remember when film critics raved that no movie could ever possibly get better special effects than those in the movie TRON.
19. You had a crush on either Ted the photographer on The Love Boat, Gage from Emergency or Ponch the motorcycle cop from CHiPs.
20. Your hair at some point in time in the 80's became something which can only be described by the phrase, "I was experimenting."
21. You've shopped at a Benetton.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aphorisms
It's not whether you win or lose,
but how you place the blame.
You are not drunk
if you can lie on the floor
without holding on.
We have enough "youth".
How about a fountain of "smart"?
The original point and click interface
was a Smith & Wesson.
A Fool and his money
can throw one heck of a party
When blondes have more fun,do they know it?
Five days a week my body is a temple.
The other two it's an amusement park.
LEARN FROM YOUR PARENTS' MISTAKES
USE BIRTH CONTROL
Money isn't everything,
but it sure keeps the kids in touch.
Don't Drink and Drive
You might hit a bump and spill something.
If at first you don't succeed
skydiving is not for you
Reality is only an illusion
that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.
We are born naked, wet and hungry.
Then things get worse.
Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers
give the rest a bad name.
Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge
to produce reproductive organs.
Alabama state motto:
At least we're not Mississippi
ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE IS NO
MATCH FOR NATURAL STUPIDITY.
The latest survey shows that
three out of four people make
up 75% of the population
"You know why a banana is like a politician?"
"He comes in and first he is green,
then he turns yellow
and then he's rotten."
"I think Congressmen should wear uniforms,
you know, like NASCAR drivers, so we could
identify their corporate sponsors."
The reason Politicians try so
hard to get re-elected is that they
would 'hate' to have to make a living
under the laws they've passed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The truths about life, that little children have learnt:
1. No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2. When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3. If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4. Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5. You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6. Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7. Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8. You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9. Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10. The best place to be when you're sad is Grandma's lap.
The great truths about life, that adults have learnt:
1. Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
2. Wrinkles don't hurt.
3. Families are like fudge . . .mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4. Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5. Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6. Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
Great truths about growing old:
1. Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2. Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3. When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4. You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5. It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6. Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7. Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
Great truths about the different stages of life:
1. You believe in Santa Claus.
2. You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3. You are Santa Claus.
4. You look like Santa Claus.
Great truths about success in life:
At age 4 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 20 success is . . . having sex.
At age 35 success is . . . having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 60 success is . . . having sex.
At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Good morning everyboomie.
I've waited a little too late to start this, and I'm more than a little almost falling to sleep.
At my age success is getting through a post without falling asleep.
I'm NOT successful tonight.
Maybe I am asleep, and just dreaming that I'm doing my post and falling asleep in the middle of it. That would be one of them.........what do you call it?..........Nightmares
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
I'm off to Insanity class in a few minutes and then back to the corner. Send help! 
How are you doing? 
By this time I'm pretty exhausted so I took a long nap. 
Can't take the heat.