Posted By: gymcandy1
Hump Day's - 04/23/14 04:33 AM
What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say.
Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Funny Shirts
Shirts must have too much room, look what people have written on them...
Due to budget cuts, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.
I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either.
I love deadlines. I especially like the Whooshing sound as they go flying by.
I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person.
I Haven't Lost My Mind. It's Backed Up On Disk Somewhere.
Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE; 1) You believe in Santa Claus. 2) You don't believe in Santa Claus. 3) You become Santa Claus. 4) You start to look like Santa Claus.
Some days you are the pigeon. Some days you are the statue.
Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult
The money is always greener in the other guy�s wallet.
If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?
Too many freaks. Not enough circuses.
She Who MUST be obeyed
Chaos. Panic. Disorder. My work is done here.
I thought I wanted a career. It turns out I just wanted a pay check.
When money talks, no one criticizes its accent.
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
My reality check bounced.
I love my cat. My cat does not care.
If At First You Don't Succeed...Blame Someone Else And Seek Counselling.
My bank account needs month-to-month resuscitation.
You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me.
On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier.
Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe in chocolate.
Only in America, could a letter offering a million dollar prize be considered junk mail.
Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the Ark. Professionals, on the other hand, built the Titanic.
I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
If I throw a stick, will you leave?
Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, because you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
Don't worry about the world ending today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.
A pat on the back is only a few centimetres from a kick in the butt.
The more [blip] you put up with, the more [blip] you are going to get.
What if the Hokey Pokey is really what it�s all about?
Think nobody knows you're alive? Try missing a payment.
Does it scare you that you are looking for wisdom from a T-shirt?
And your cry baby whiny-butt opinion would be...?
I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.
Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning. Nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.
If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
No one pays attention until you make a mistake.
Jesus loves you, but I think you�re a jerk.
Thousands of years ago, cats were worshiped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change ready.
Stamp Out Crime. Abolish the IRS.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
What am I? Fly paper for freaks?
I'm not rude. You're just insignificant.
If I save time, when do I get it back?
A.S.A.P. means Always Say A Prayer.
Love is grand. Divorce is a hundred grand.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
Sometimes I wake up grumpy. Other times I let him sleep.
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
I may be fat, but you are ugly and I can lose weight.
I'm really easy to get along with once people learn to worship me.
I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care.
Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
Smile. It's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
If the left side of the brain controls the right hand, then only left-handed people are in their right mind.
Why does your nose run and your feet smell?
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
Money Isn't Everything...But It Sure Keeps the Kids In Touch.
Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
Are you sure I'm 60? I want a recount!
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
Born free. Taxed to death.
If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?
All Men Are Animals. Some Just Make Better Pets.
Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
Enjoy Life! Eat Out More Often.
I'm out of bed and dressed. What more do you want?
Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.
The 11th commandment: Thou Shalt NOT Whine!
Work Harder. People on Welfare Depend on You.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Good morning everyboomie.
Tomorrow came sooner than I expected.
I was just starting to relax and enjoy myself when {{{WHAMMO}}} I look up and it's bed time.
Don't get me wrong, I enjoy my sack time immensely, but I need at least 8 hours of TV and internet/gaming time per day.
I can get buy on 7 hours sack time.
Starting about..............now.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Funny Shirts
Shirts must have too much room, look what people have written on them...
Due to budget cuts, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.
I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either.
I love deadlines. I especially like the Whooshing sound as they go flying by.
I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person.
I Haven't Lost My Mind. It's Backed Up On Disk Somewhere.
Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE; 1) You believe in Santa Claus. 2) You don't believe in Santa Claus. 3) You become Santa Claus. 4) You start to look like Santa Claus.
Some days you are the pigeon. Some days you are the statue.
Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult
The money is always greener in the other guy�s wallet.
If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?
Too many freaks. Not enough circuses.
She Who MUST be obeyed
Chaos. Panic. Disorder. My work is done here.
I thought I wanted a career. It turns out I just wanted a pay check.
When money talks, no one criticizes its accent.
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
My reality check bounced.
I love my cat. My cat does not care.
If At First You Don't Succeed...Blame Someone Else And Seek Counselling.
My bank account needs month-to-month resuscitation.
You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me.
On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier.
Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe in chocolate.
Only in America, could a letter offering a million dollar prize be considered junk mail.
Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the Ark. Professionals, on the other hand, built the Titanic.
I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
If I throw a stick, will you leave?
Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, because you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
Don't worry about the world ending today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.
A pat on the back is only a few centimetres from a kick in the butt.
The more [blip] you put up with, the more [blip] you are going to get.
What if the Hokey Pokey is really what it�s all about?
Think nobody knows you're alive? Try missing a payment.
Does it scare you that you are looking for wisdom from a T-shirt?
And your cry baby whiny-butt opinion would be...?
I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.
Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning. Nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.
If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
No one pays attention until you make a mistake.
Jesus loves you, but I think you�re a jerk.
Thousands of years ago, cats were worshiped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change ready.
Stamp Out Crime. Abolish the IRS.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
What am I? Fly paper for freaks?
I'm not rude. You're just insignificant.
If I save time, when do I get it back?
A.S.A.P. means Always Say A Prayer.
Love is grand. Divorce is a hundred grand.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
Sometimes I wake up grumpy. Other times I let him sleep.
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
I may be fat, but you are ugly and I can lose weight.
I'm really easy to get along with once people learn to worship me.
I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care.
Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
Smile. It's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
If the left side of the brain controls the right hand, then only left-handed people are in their right mind.
Why does your nose run and your feet smell?
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
Money Isn't Everything...But It Sure Keeps the Kids In Touch.
Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
Are you sure I'm 60? I want a recount!
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
Born free. Taxed to death.
If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?
All Men Are Animals. Some Just Make Better Pets.
Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
Enjoy Life! Eat Out More Often.
I'm out of bed and dressed. What more do you want?
Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.
The 11th commandment: Thou Shalt NOT Whine!
Work Harder. People on Welfare Depend on You.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Good morning everyboomie.
Tomorrow came sooner than I expected.
I was just starting to relax and enjoy myself when {{{WHAMMO}}} I look up and it's bed time.
Don't get me wrong, I enjoy my sack time immensely, but I need at least 8 hours of TV and internet/gaming time per day.
I can get buy on 7 hours sack time.
Starting about..............now.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
It's like whoooosh, it's gone!
