Posted By: gymcandy1
Monday Sunshine.......and Heat - 07/28/14 06:10 AM
Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
Unknown
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bubba calls Dr. Sobers in the middle of the night and says, "Dr. Sobers, the missus is experiencing severe pain in the stomach. Think it's her appendix."
Doctor Sobers, obviously upset for being disturbed at 1 am, growls, "What the hell are you talking? I removed your wife's appendix just a year back! Get off the phone
and let me sleep!"
After about 10 minutes, Bubba calls again and says, "Dr Sobers, I am mighty sure it's her appendix."
Dr. Sobers yells, "Good lord, have I not told you already I removed her appendix. Do you know of anyone having a second appendix?"
Bubba replies, "No. I have not. But I can bet you know of someone having a second wife!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dr. Jones had served many years as an Obstetrician/gynecologist, but he felt he had reached a saturation point. His mind was no longer in his job. He wanted to do something else for the rest of his life. Dr. Jones had a fascination for mechanical things and remembered he enjoyed automotive training in school and, therefore decided to go in for a career change and to become an auto mechanic. He enrolled at an automotive school.
He completed the course and was required to appear for the final exams. The physical exam consisted of taking a car engine apart and then putting it back together. Dr. Jones completed his project and was amazed to receive a grade of 125%. Dr. Jones asked the examiner how could he score a 125%.
"Well," answered the examiner, "I granted you 50% for taking the engine apart, 50% for putting it back together and another 25% for doing everything through the muffler"!
~~~~~~~~~
Chiropractic Dr. Herbert called Mrs. Hanks and said, "Mrs. Hanks, your check has returned."
Mrs. Hanks commented, "So has my back pain."
~~~~~~~~~~~
Dr. Jones enters the student classroom and starts shouting, "Tetanus! Insulin! Booster!"
One student asked another, "What the hell do you think he is doing?"
The other student replied, "Calling the shots."
~~~~~~~~~~~
A man was suffering from insomnia and went to see a doctor. After a thorough checkup, the doctor declared, “The only remedy for this suffering is not to take tension with you when you go to bed.”
Patient replies, “That’s exactly what I have been telling my wife. But she refuses to use the guest room.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Justin : “Doctor, there was decay in my upper tooth. You said a worm was eating it away. But you have pulled out my lower tooth. Why?”
Doctor : “You are right. Actually the worm was standing on your lower tooth and doing the job. Now it has no tooth to stand on.”
Ok that's just dumb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
My grandpa, 86 years of age, went to see the doctor and asked, "Is it normal at my age to have problems with short term memory storage?"
The doctor replied, "Mr. Asher, storing memory is not the problem, retrieving it is."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dillon called his family doctor and declared, "My son has Venereal disease! The only woman he has slept with is our house-help."
"Take it easy," the doctor said. "Bring him to me immediately and I'll take care of him."
Dillon said, "But doctor, I have been fooling around with the house-help too, and my symptoms are the same as that of my son."
"Well then, you come in with him and I'll see what I can do for the both of you," replied the doctor.
"Tell you what," Dillon went on, "I think my wife has it too."
"Goodness!" the doctor exclaimed, "That means we have all got it!"
~~~~~~~~~~~
There are three old men seated inside a doctor's cabin - all suffering from bad memory.
The doctor wants to take a little test - so he asks the first old man, "Can you tell me what is four times four?"
The first man replies, "756".
The doctor can't believe this. So he moves on to the second old man asks him, "Your turn. What is four times four?"
The second man replies, "Friday".
The doctor shakes his head in disbelief and then asks the third man, "Do you think you have the answer?"
The third old man replies, "Sixteen".
"Wonderful!" says the doctor. "How did you get that?"
"Easy," the third old man replies, "Just add 756 to Friday."
~~~~~~~~~~
Good morning everyboomie.
I am really about to pass out.
It's 11:66 and I'm ready to release this day, and let it fly away.
I hope you all have a fantastic-ly happy day.
joe
Unknown
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bubba calls Dr. Sobers in the middle of the night and says, "Dr. Sobers, the missus is experiencing severe pain in the stomach. Think it's her appendix."
Doctor Sobers, obviously upset for being disturbed at 1 am, growls, "What the hell are you talking? I removed your wife's appendix just a year back! Get off the phone
and let me sleep!"
After about 10 minutes, Bubba calls again and says, "Dr Sobers, I am mighty sure it's her appendix."
Dr. Sobers yells, "Good lord, have I not told you already I removed her appendix. Do you know of anyone having a second appendix?"
Bubba replies, "No. I have not. But I can bet you know of someone having a second wife!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dr. Jones had served many years as an Obstetrician/gynecologist, but he felt he had reached a saturation point. His mind was no longer in his job. He wanted to do something else for the rest of his life. Dr. Jones had a fascination for mechanical things and remembered he enjoyed automotive training in school and, therefore decided to go in for a career change and to become an auto mechanic. He enrolled at an automotive school.
He completed the course and was required to appear for the final exams. The physical exam consisted of taking a car engine apart and then putting it back together. Dr. Jones completed his project and was amazed to receive a grade of 125%. Dr. Jones asked the examiner how could he score a 125%.
"Well," answered the examiner, "I granted you 50% for taking the engine apart, 50% for putting it back together and another 25% for doing everything through the muffler"!
~~~~~~~~~
Chiropractic Dr. Herbert called Mrs. Hanks and said, "Mrs. Hanks, your check has returned."
Mrs. Hanks commented, "So has my back pain."
~~~~~~~~~~~
Dr. Jones enters the student classroom and starts shouting, "Tetanus! Insulin! Booster!"
One student asked another, "What the hell do you think he is doing?"
The other student replied, "Calling the shots."
~~~~~~~~~~~
A man was suffering from insomnia and went to see a doctor. After a thorough checkup, the doctor declared, “The only remedy for this suffering is not to take tension with you when you go to bed.”
Patient replies, “That’s exactly what I have been telling my wife. But she refuses to use the guest room.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Justin : “Doctor, there was decay in my upper tooth. You said a worm was eating it away. But you have pulled out my lower tooth. Why?”
Doctor : “You are right. Actually the worm was standing on your lower tooth and doing the job. Now it has no tooth to stand on.”
Ok that's just dumb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
My grandpa, 86 years of age, went to see the doctor and asked, "Is it normal at my age to have problems with short term memory storage?"
The doctor replied, "Mr. Asher, storing memory is not the problem, retrieving it is."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dillon called his family doctor and declared, "My son has Venereal disease! The only woman he has slept with is our house-help."
"Take it easy," the doctor said. "Bring him to me immediately and I'll take care of him."
Dillon said, "But doctor, I have been fooling around with the house-help too, and my symptoms are the same as that of my son."
"Well then, you come in with him and I'll see what I can do for the both of you," replied the doctor.
"Tell you what," Dillon went on, "I think my wife has it too."
"Goodness!" the doctor exclaimed, "That means we have all got it!"
~~~~~~~~~~~
There are three old men seated inside a doctor's cabin - all suffering from bad memory.
The doctor wants to take a little test - so he asks the first old man, "Can you tell me what is four times four?"
The first man replies, "756".
The doctor can't believe this. So he moves on to the second old man asks him, "Your turn. What is four times four?"
The second man replies, "Friday".
The doctor shakes his head in disbelief and then asks the third man, "Do you think you have the answer?"
The third old man replies, "Sixteen".
"Wonderful!" says the doctor. "How did you get that?"
"Easy," the third old man replies, "Just add 756 to Friday."
~~~~~~~~~~
Good morning everyboomie.
I am really about to pass out.
It's 11:66 and I'm ready to release this day, and let it fly away.
I hope you all have a fantastic-ly happy day.
joe
Hope you have a fantastic-ly happy day, as well!
There was a nice cool little breeze though. Weatherman said it will be in the high 60's at night later in the week once this front moves through. Sounds wonderful. 
Sorta