GB HOMEPAGE

Hump Day's

Posted By: gymcandy1

Hump Day's - 07/29/14 11:13 PM

Age to me means nothing. I can't get old; I'm working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you're working, you stay young. When I'm in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.
George Burns (1896 - 1996)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yesterday my daughter again asked why I didn't do something useful with my time. Talking about my "doing something useful" seemed to be her favorite topic of conversation. She was "only thinking of me" and suggested I go down to the senior center and hang out with the guys. I did this and when I got home last night I decided to teach her a lesson about staying out of my business. I told her that I had joined a parachute club.

She said, "Are you nuts? You're almost 74 years old and you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?" I proudly showed her that I even got a membership card.

She said to me, "Good grief, where are your glasses! This is a membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club."

"I'm in trouble again, and I don't know what to do... I signed up for five jumps a week," I told her.

She fainted!

Life as a senior citizen is not getting any easier but sometimes it can be fun.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two old guys, one 70 and one 75, were sitting on a park bench one
morning.

The 75-year-old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of
breath.
The 70-year-old was amazed at the guy's stamina and asked him what he did to
have so much energy. The 75-year-old said, "Well, I eat rye bread every day. It
keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies."

So, on the way home the 70-year-old stopped at the bakery.
As he was looking around, the saleslady asked if he needed any help.
He said, "Do you have any rye bread?"
She said, "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?"

He said, "I want five loaves."
She said, "My goodness, five loaves! By the time you get to the 3rd loaf,
it'll be hard."

He replied, "I can't believe everybody knows about this but me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Who is Your Role Model for 2014?

This is an honest evaluation of who your Role Model is in 2014.
This is fun. I promise you will laugh when you find the identity of your role model.
NO CHEATING!
I was really surprised to find out the name of my role model.
Don't scroll down yet.
To find the identity of your personal role model, do the mathematics below..
Then scroll down to find your hero or heroine.
It is crazy how accurate this is!



NO PEEKING!
1.) Pick your favorite number between 1 - 9
2.) Multiply by 3
3.) Add 3
4.) Then again multiply by 3... I'll wait if you need a calculator
5.) You'll get a 2 or 3 digit number
6.) Add the digits together



NOW SCROLL DOWN
And with that number, see who your ROLE MODEL is from the list below:

1. Einstein
2. Oprah Winfrey
3. Ernest Hemingway
4. Mother Teresa
5. Bill Gates
6. Gandhi
7. Mozart
8. Nelson Mandela
9 Gymcandy Joe

I know, I know, it's my happy attitude to life. I just have that special effect on people!

P.S. Stop picking different numbers!
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ban On Dihydrogen Monoxide

A freshman at Eagle Rock Junior High won first prize at the Greater
Idaho Falls Science Fair on January 26.
In his project he urged people to sign a petition demanding strict
control or total elimination of the chemical 'dihydrogen monoxide'.
And for plenty of good reasons, since it can:

1. cause excessive sweating and vomiting
2. it is a major component in acid rain
3. it can cause severe burns in its gaseous state
4. accidental inhalation can kill you
5. it contributes to erosion
6. it decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes
7. it has been found in tumors of terminal cancer patients.

He asked 150 people if they supported a ban of the chemical.
- One hundred forty-three said yes.
- Six were undecided.
- Only one knew that the chemical was... Water! (H2O)
The title of his prize winning project was, 'How Gullible Are We?' He
was attempting to show how conditioned we have become to the alarmists
practicing junk science and spreading fear of everything in our
environment. The conclusion is obvious.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TEXAS BEER JOINT SUES LOCAL CHURCH OVER LIGHTNING STRIKE!

(This should keep you chuckling for awhile)

A bar called Drummond's (in Mt Vernon, Texas ) began construction on an expansion of their building, hoping to "grow" their business.
In response, the local Southern Baptist Church started a campaign to block the bar from expanding - petitions, prayers, etc.
About a week before the bar's grand re-opening, a bolt of lightning struck the bar and burned it to the ground!
Afterward, the church folks were rather smug - bragging about "the power of prayer".
The angry bar owner eventually sued the church on grounds that the church... "Was ultimately responsible for the demise of his building, through direct actions or indirect means."
Of course, the church vehemently denied all responsibility or any connection to the building's demise.
The judge read carefully through the plaintiff's complaint and the defendant's reply.
He then opened the hearing by saying:
"I don't know how I'm going to decide this, but it appears from the paperwork that what we have here is a bar owner who now believes in the power of prayer, and an entire church congregation that does not!"
~~~~~~~~~~~

An Irishman is cleaning his rifle and accidentally shoots his wife. He immediately dials 999.

Irishman: ''It's me wife! I've accidentally shot her, I've killed her!''

Operator: ''Please calm down Sir. Can you first make sure she is actually dead!''

*click* .. *BANG*

Irishman: ''Okay, I've done that. What next?''
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Math/Physics Question

Situation:
You are on a horse, galloping at a constant speed.
On your right side is a sharp drop off.
And on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you.
Directly in front of you is a bounding kangaroo,
and your horse is unable to overtake it.
Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the kangaroo.

Question:
What must you do to get out of this potentially
highly dangerous situation safely?

See answer below.















Get your drunk behind off of that merry-go-round.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome


I am almost glad to be going back to work today as I seem to work a whole lot less at Lowe's than I do at home. razz


However, for the next 3 or 4 days we are supposed to be having this big cool down in the weather, and of course I'm working. rolleyes


My concession is that I get off early on all three days. woot


Of course that means I have to get up early for the next three days. slapforehead


Of course THAT means........I gotta get to bed asap........after I get a shower first. happydance


I think good old Southeastern Oklahoma is going to start growing out of my hair, I have so much dirt caked up there. hardwall


Ouch! That didn't help get any dirt off my head. crazy


Have a happy day everyone.



joe
Posted By: manxman

Re: Hump Day's - 07/30/14 04:06 AM

Good morning Joe and all who follow. Hope everyone has a wonderful Wednesday smile
Posted By: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Hump Day's - 07/30/14 04:08 AM

Good morning boomies! I have two MRI's today that take an hour each in a closed MRI. eek I will have to try and meditate to get over my claustrophobia.

Have a happy day Joe, Manxman and and all!

Ana wave
Posted By: Haroula

Re: Hump Day's - 07/30/14 06:39 AM

Have a happy day Joe, Manxman. Ana and all who come
in later. smile wave
Posted By: RebKean

Re: Hump Day's - 07/30/14 07:35 AM

Hahaha, that was a great start to my day Joe.
Click to reveal..
[/spoiler]or dare I say my new rolemodel, hehe[spoiler]


Morning to you all! thumbsup
Posted By: Kaki's Sister

Re: Hump Day's - 07/30/14 09:58 AM

Good Morning Joe, manxman, Ana, Haroula and Reb. Joe nice getting out early and having the afternoon off. Manxman you have a great day too. Ana hope all is well with you. You'll be in my thoughts. Haroula and Reb enjoy your day. Coffee is ready. Wishing everyone a peaceful day! wave
Posted By: connie

Re: Hump Day's - 07/30/14 12:13 PM

Good morning everyone. I went to the beach with friends for a Seafood lunch yesterday. Ana, positive vibes on the way. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Hump day. Danish, Cinnamon Buns, and Waffles in the NC. summer
Posted By: GBC

Re: Hump Day's - 07/30/14 12:20 PM

Good Morning Boomers: summer

Joe, wishing you a wonderful day.

Ana, calming thoughts sent your way. Good luck.

Haroula, happy day wishes.

Reb, good afternoon.

Gerry, need coffee, please and thank you.

Connie, Seafood lunch sounds great.

Comfortable weather here today will take a nice walk this morning with Nina. Wishing everyone a great day! lab
Posted By: RebKean

Re: Hump Day's - 07/30/14 12:36 PM

Hah, yes indeed afternoon Gail. Or mid day or something. grin

Finally, the weather seems to be cooling down a bit,
to some normal temperatures. No fan on yet! rah
Posted By: Darlene

Re: Hump Day's - 07/30/14 03:01 PM

wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers and hope your next three days go easy peasy! Have a happy Hump Day!

Ana, hope the MRI's go smoothly! hearts

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
Posted By: looney4labs

Re: Hump Day's - 07/30/14 03:08 PM

Wonderful Wednesday ya'll puppy

It was 59 out there this morning when hubby and the gang and I headed out for our walk. I had to move my tush as fast as possible to stay warm. It broke an 125 year record. My windows are open as I type and that is unheard of in July!

Ana, luck and gentle hugs.

Boys will be here soon. I will spend the rest of the day finishing off yogurt and with my nose in the books. Must must must get the bookkeeping done today! wave
Posted By: auntiegram

Re: Hump Day's - 07/30/14 03:24 PM

Joe enjoy the cooler and the rain! Have a lovely day!

Haroula have a lovely day!

Ana prayers that all goes well for you! HUGS! Have a lovely day!

Gerry, have a lovely day!

Gail enjoy the walk and have a lovely day!

RebKean glad it is a little cooler. Have a lovely day!

Darlene may all go smoothly and have a lovely day!

L4l it was 54 here this morning and I had shorts and a kT for my mile with Sassy!! Have a lovely day!

Connie nice lunch!!! Thanks for danish and have a lovely day!

Off to drive a truck to help a friend move something.

wave
Nan
Posted By: Sorta Blonde

Re: Hump Day's - 07/30/14 04:52 PM

Humidity down slightly. Feels a bit nicer, still sunny and glorious.

Got an email yesterday supposedly from PayPal that said my charge was denied by my credit company and gave me 'other' ways to pay including linking my PayPal account to my bank account (I would NEVER do that). Sooo after checking all my credit accounts and ebay and PayPal site, I have determined it was a Phishing email. Yup. They are at it again. I didn't click or type in anything so I'm pretty sure I'm safe, but I'm probably not the only one to get that email. Geez. You are never safe. I've been changing all my email addresses to my new one (new computer won't accept POP systems darn) so it's a big project. Next on my list is GB. And interestingly enough, some sites won't let you change your email address, no matter what. Guess I might have to cancel and redo those.

Need to also 'configure my keyboard. It's repeating letters. Very annoying. One more thing to do with the new hardware. insane
Posted By: looney4labs

Re: Hump Day's - 07/30/14 05:06 PM

Nan, wave

Sorta, hope it's all done soon puppy
Posted By: Sorta Blonde

Re: Hump Day's - 07/30/14 05:18 PM

Working on it now. Got all my 'in use' store cards done. Gotta dig for those I seldom use just to be sure. It's like changing your name and ID since you were born. What a mess. I like my new email though. Very cute. Took me awhile to get one that wasn't already in use.

Getting hotter. Gotta turn on a fan. Ugh.
Posted By: looney4labs

Re: Hump Day's - 07/30/14 05:51 PM

Warming up a bit here too. Going to shut the windows and turn on the AC, but it's been nice to be able to have the windows open.

Off to nap before the boys get here...brain is fuzzy!
Posted By: Yankee Clipper

Re: Hump Day's - 07/30/14 06:02 PM

sorta, be careful -you certainly lead an eventful life. Things like that can wipe you out. Sounds like you like 8.1 more. i never had trobvle with mine however all that's on mine is a few walkthroughs and games.

The remainder of this post is most sad. Yesterday morning, 7-8, I found Bud dead in the road. He was almost 1/4 mile from my house, what ever happened. It's all over now -no more dogs for me. His health was poor and he was deaf and had cataracs but he could have lived here 1-2 years and had a good life. But he was here only 4 days. I spent the rest of the day watching youtube horror movies.

Time will heal
Posted By: RebKean

Re: Hump Day's - 07/30/14 06:08 PM

It's hard Yankee, even though it was a short visit.
catrub

EDIT: The smiley is like a hug from me and one of my cats.
Posted By: looney4labs

Re: Hump Day's - 07/30/14 07:27 PM

Oh, Yankee, I'm so sorry.
Posted By: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Hump Day's - 07/30/14 09:02 PM

sad Oh Yankee, I am so so sorry.

Home from my MRI's. I will get the results Friday, and have an appt withe the Orthopedic Surgeon on Tuesday so we'll see where this goes. All I know is two hours is a long time to lay still and having two MRI's in a row may not be a good idea. I had to redo the last frame 4 times because I started twitching laying still so long and she gave up.

Have a happy day!
Posted By: looney4labs

Re: Hump Day's - 07/30/14 09:32 PM

Glad it's over, Ana. I don't mind MRI's but 2 hours is a long time.
Posted By: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Hump Day's - 07/30/14 11:13 PM

If it discovers or rules out anything it was worth it!

Ana wave
Posted By: Midge

Re: Hump Day's - 07/31/14 12:40 AM

Hi all. Been absent from here. Today on my day off I had a fasting blood test this morning. What turned up was my platelets are too low as they were the last time I had this done. So now I have to have an appointment with my hematalogyst (spelling?). Will go through the same visit I did last year. My platelets were low last year so I had a bone marrow done but she decided that I have low platelets that are normal for me. Ana I pray that your results are normal. kissy

Midgie hearts
Posted By: Space Quest Fan

Re: Hump Day's - 07/31/14 01:37 AM

Good afternoon Boomers. wave
Posted By: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Hump Day's - 07/31/14 02:56 AM

Midgie, I hope it all turns out well and you won't have to do anything else this time. hearts

SpaceQ, Good afternoon!
Posted By: Midge

Re: Hump Day's - 07/31/14 02:58 AM

Me too Ana. I don't want to go through another bone marrow.

Time to say good night. See you in the AM.

Midgie hearts sleep
Posted By: auntiegram

Re: Hump Day's - 07/31/14 05:07 AM

Aw Midge....HUGS!! Hope all is well. BTW: how are you liking your new phone???

Yankee HUGS!! Always a hard thing to go through if they are with you for years or hours. hearts

Ana glad that is all behind you now and prayers that your allpoinmant goes well. HUGS!

Time to take Sassy for a walk and then head for bed. Night all sleep well and pleasant dreams!

sleep
Nan
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