Posted By: gymcandy1
Turkey of a Diner - 11/27/14 07:10 AM
No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.
Aesop (620 BC - 560 BC), The Lion and the Mouse
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Michael Dresser in his wine column, "Vintage Point", writing about the difficulty of recommending wine for Thanksgiving dinner writes:
'Thanksgiving is America's national feast - the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty. In France, by contrast there are three such days: Hier, Aujourd'hui and Demain. [Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow]
~~~~~~~~~~~
If April showers bring May flowers what do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims!
~~~~~
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off.
~~~~~~~~~~
Why do turkeys always go, "gobble, gobble"?
Because they never learned good table manners!
~~~~~~~~
What sound does a space turkey make?
Hubble, hubble, hubble.
~~~~~~~~~~
Why did the police arrest the turkey?
They suspected it of fowl play.
~~~~~~~~~
Why did the Indian chief wear so many feathers?
To keep his wigwam.
~~~~~~
Why did they let the turkey join the band?
Because he had the drumsticks.
~~~~~~
What happened to the Pilgrim who was shot at by an Indian?
He had an arrow escape.
~~~~~~~
'Twas the night of Thanksgiving,
but I just couldn't sleep...
I tried counting backwards,
I tried counting sheep.
The leftovers beckoned...the dark meat and white,
but I fought the temptation with all of my might.
Tossing and turning with anticipation,
the thought of a snack became infatuation.
So, I raced to the kitchen, flung open the door
and gazed at the fridge, full of goodies galore.
I gobbled up turkey and buttered potatoes,
stuffing with gravy, green beans and tomatoes.
I felt myself swelling so plump and so round,
till all of a sudden, I rose off the ground.
I crashed through the ceiling, floating into the sky
with a mouthful of pudding and a handful of pie
But, I managed to yell as I soared past the trees...
Happy eating to all -- pass the cranberries, please.
Asked to write a composition entitled, "What I'm thankful for on Thanksgiving," one student wrote, "I am thankful that I'm not a turkey."
~~~~~~~~
A turkey farmer was always experimenting with breeding to perfect a better turkey. His family was fond of the leg portion for dinner and there were never enough legs for everyone. After many frustrating attempts, the farmer was relating the results of his efforts to his friends at the general store get together. "Well I finally did it! I bred a turkey that has 6 legs!" They all asked the farmer how it tasted. "I don't know" said the farmer. "I can't catch it!"
~~~~~~
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked the stock boy, 'Do these turkeys get any bigger?'
The stock boy answered, 'No ma'am, they're dead.'
~~~~~~~~~
Young Simon was sitting in his grandmother's kitchen, watching her prepare the Thanksgiving meal.
'What are you doing?' Simon inquired.
'Oh, I'm just stuffing the turkey,' his grandmother replied.
'Wow, that's cool.' Simon remarked. 'Are you going to hang it next to the deer?'
~~~~~~~~~
It's the day before Thanksgiving, and the butcher is just locking up when a man begins pounding on the front door.
'Please let me in, 'says the man desperately. 'I forgot to buy a turkey, and my wife will kill me if I don't come home with one.'
'Okay, 'says the butcher.' Let me see what I have left.' He goes into the freezer and discovers that there's one last scrawny turkey left. He brings it out to show the man.
'That's one is too skinny. What else you got?' says the man.
The butcher takes the bird back into the freezer and waits a few minutes and brings the same turkey back out to the man.
'Oh, no, 'says the man, 'That one doesn't look any better. You better give me both of them!'
~~~~~~~~~
Eddie in Dallas calls his son in New York just before Thanksgiving and tells him, 'I am sorry to tell you but your mother and I are going to divorce. I just cannot take any more of her moaning. We can't stand the sight of each other any more.' I am telling you first, Eddie, because you are the eldest, please tell your sister.
When Eddie calls his sister Julie, she says: 'No way are they getting divorced. We have to go over and see them for Thanksgiving.'
Julie phones her parents and tells them both 'You must NOT get divorced. Promise you won't do anything until Eddie and I get there. We'll both be there with you tomorrow. Until then, don't take any action, please listen to me', and hangs up.
The father puts down the phone and turns to his wife and says. 'Good news' he says, 'Eddie and Julie are coming for Thanksgiving, and they are both paying their own way.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nathan, a young boy, after hearing the story of Thanksgiving and how the Indians and the Pilgrims sat down together, climbed up into his father's lap and said, 'Daddy, did you know that if we were Indians, you would be a brave and Mom would be a squawk?'
'That is the best description of your mother I have ever heard, Nathan', replied his daddy as he ducked.
~~~~~~~~~
What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy.
~~~~~~~~~~
Good morning everyboomie.
Wishing you and your families a very Happy Thanksgiving.
joe
Aesop (620 BC - 560 BC), The Lion and the Mouse
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Michael Dresser in his wine column, "Vintage Point", writing about the difficulty of recommending wine for Thanksgiving dinner writes:
'Thanksgiving is America's national feast - the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty. In France, by contrast there are three such days: Hier, Aujourd'hui and Demain. [Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow]
~~~~~~~~~~~
If April showers bring May flowers what do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims!
~~~~~
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off.
~~~~~~~~~~
Why do turkeys always go, "gobble, gobble"?
Because they never learned good table manners!
~~~~~~~~
What sound does a space turkey make?
Hubble, hubble, hubble.
~~~~~~~~~~
Why did the police arrest the turkey?
They suspected it of fowl play.
~~~~~~~~~
Why did the Indian chief wear so many feathers?
To keep his wigwam.
~~~~~~
Why did they let the turkey join the band?
Because he had the drumsticks.
~~~~~~
What happened to the Pilgrim who was shot at by an Indian?
He had an arrow escape.
~~~~~~~
'Twas the night of Thanksgiving,
but I just couldn't sleep...
I tried counting backwards,
I tried counting sheep.
The leftovers beckoned...the dark meat and white,
but I fought the temptation with all of my might.
Tossing and turning with anticipation,
the thought of a snack became infatuation.
So, I raced to the kitchen, flung open the door
and gazed at the fridge, full of goodies galore.
I gobbled up turkey and buttered potatoes,
stuffing with gravy, green beans and tomatoes.
I felt myself swelling so plump and so round,
till all of a sudden, I rose off the ground.
I crashed through the ceiling, floating into the sky
with a mouthful of pudding and a handful of pie
But, I managed to yell as I soared past the trees...
Happy eating to all -- pass the cranberries, please.
Asked to write a composition entitled, "What I'm thankful for on Thanksgiving," one student wrote, "I am thankful that I'm not a turkey."
~~~~~~~~
A turkey farmer was always experimenting with breeding to perfect a better turkey. His family was fond of the leg portion for dinner and there were never enough legs for everyone. After many frustrating attempts, the farmer was relating the results of his efforts to his friends at the general store get together. "Well I finally did it! I bred a turkey that has 6 legs!" They all asked the farmer how it tasted. "I don't know" said the farmer. "I can't catch it!"
~~~~~~
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked the stock boy, 'Do these turkeys get any bigger?'
The stock boy answered, 'No ma'am, they're dead.'
~~~~~~~~~
Young Simon was sitting in his grandmother's kitchen, watching her prepare the Thanksgiving meal.
'What are you doing?' Simon inquired.
'Oh, I'm just stuffing the turkey,' his grandmother replied.
'Wow, that's cool.' Simon remarked. 'Are you going to hang it next to the deer?'
~~~~~~~~~
It's the day before Thanksgiving, and the butcher is just locking up when a man begins pounding on the front door.
'Please let me in, 'says the man desperately. 'I forgot to buy a turkey, and my wife will kill me if I don't come home with one.'
'Okay, 'says the butcher.' Let me see what I have left.' He goes into the freezer and discovers that there's one last scrawny turkey left. He brings it out to show the man.
'That's one is too skinny. What else you got?' says the man.
The butcher takes the bird back into the freezer and waits a few minutes and brings the same turkey back out to the man.
'Oh, no, 'says the man, 'That one doesn't look any better. You better give me both of them!'
~~~~~~~~~
Eddie in Dallas calls his son in New York just before Thanksgiving and tells him, 'I am sorry to tell you but your mother and I are going to divorce. I just cannot take any more of her moaning. We can't stand the sight of each other any more.' I am telling you first, Eddie, because you are the eldest, please tell your sister.
When Eddie calls his sister Julie, she says: 'No way are they getting divorced. We have to go over and see them for Thanksgiving.'
Julie phones her parents and tells them both 'You must NOT get divorced. Promise you won't do anything until Eddie and I get there. We'll both be there with you tomorrow. Until then, don't take any action, please listen to me', and hangs up.
The father puts down the phone and turns to his wife and says. 'Good news' he says, 'Eddie and Julie are coming for Thanksgiving, and they are both paying their own way.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nathan, a young boy, after hearing the story of Thanksgiving and how the Indians and the Pilgrims sat down together, climbed up into his father's lap and said, 'Daddy, did you know that if we were Indians, you would be a brave and Mom would be a squawk?'
'That is the best description of your mother I have ever heard, Nathan', replied his daddy as he ducked.
~~~~~~~~~
What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy.
~~~~~~~~~~
Good morning everyboomie.
Wishing you and your families a very Happy Thanksgiving.
joe
to all.I hope you have 
Black Friday now starts on Thanksgiving. 
As for now, I'm sitting here with kitty version Venus, catching up on things. 
Well, at least when I got home, I made a turkey sandwich for dinner.