Joe's Friday Diner

Life's most persistent and urgent question is, 'What are you doing for others?'
Martin Luther King, Jr.

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A British General had sent some of his men off to fight for their country in the Falkland Island Crisis. Upon returning to England from the South American island, three soldiers that had distinguished themselves in battle were summoned to the General’s office. “Since we weren’t actually at war,” the General began, “I can’t give out any medals. We did, however, want to let each of you know your efforts were appreciated. What we’ve decided to do is to let each of you choose two points on your body. You will be given two pounds sterling for each inch of distance between those parts. We’ll start on the left, boys, so what’ll it be?” Soldier 1: “The tip of me head to me toes, sahr!” General: “Very good son, that’s 70 inches which comes to 140 pounds” Soldier 2: “The tip of the finger on one outstretched hand to the tip of the other, sir!” General: “Even better son, that’s 72 inches which comes to 144 pounds” Soldier 3: “The palm of me hand to the tip of me left pinky, sahr!” General: “That’s a strange but fair request, son! As the general begins the measurement: “What! Son, where is your left pinky?” Soldier 3: “Falkland Island, sahr!”

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An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow." The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked, what happened and the man explained. "Well, doc, it's like this--first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing." The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?" The old man replied, "Yep, none of us could get the jar open."


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A Sergeant was addressing a squad of 25 and said: "I have a nice easy job for the laziest man here. Put up your hand if you are the laziest." 24 men raised their hands, and the sergeant asked the other man "why didn't you raise your hand?" The man replied: "Too much trouble raising the hand, Sarge."

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A young Naval Officer was in a terrible car accident, but due to the heroics of the hospital staff the only permanent injury was the loss of one ear. Since he wasn’t physically impaired he remained in the military and eventually became an Admiral. However, during his career he was always sensitive about his appearance. One day the Admiral was interviewing two Navy Master Chiefs and a Marine Gunnery Sergeant for his personal staff. The first Master Chief was a Surface Navy type and it was a great interview. At the end of the interview the Admiral asked him, “Do you notice anything different about me?” The Master Chief answered, “Why yes. I couldn’t help but notice you are missing your starboard ear, so I don’t know whether this impacts your hearing on that side.” The Admiral got very angry at this lack of tact and threw him out of his office. The next candidate, an Aviation Master Chief, when asked this same question, answered, “Well yes, you seem to be short one ear.” The Admiral threw him out also. The third interview was with the Marine Gunnery Sergeant . He was articulate, extremely sharp, and seemed to know more than the two Master Chiefs put together. The Admiral wanted this guy, but went ahead with the same question. “Do you notice anything different about me?” To his surprise the Gunnery Sergeant said, “Yes. You wear contact lenses.” The Admiral was impressed and thought to himself, what an incredibly tactful Marine. “And how do you know that?” the Admiral asked. The Gunny replied, “Well sir, it’s pretty hard to wear glasses with only one ear.”


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Joe is having troubles getting online, so you are stuck with me!

It's days like this that make us realize how lucky we are everyday to have him here and start our day with his wot and charm. It's not an easy task!

I do however wish you a happy day and I know Joe does the same!

JoeAna

Good morning,have all a great day.

Good morning everyone. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful TGIF. We will be leaving for the Keys early in the morning. My grandson will be staying here to take care of the fur babies. Danish, BB Pancakes and Bacon Sandwiches in the NC.

Good morning Haroula and Connie. Enjoy your time in the Keys! I'm jealous!

Off to dance! Yay!

Ana thanks for getting the day started for Joe! Have fun at dance!

Haroula have a lovely day!

Connie what fun. Have a safe travel and enjoy!!


Nan

So about yesterday's murder and suicide of the murderer in an apartment complex on the other end of my town: Turns out by listening to several neighbor's who were talking to the news media that the whole thing was caused by the victim's older (probably elementary or jr hi) daughter, bullying the suspect's daughter about her family size (they were little people). It started a year ago with the family moved in and they thought the Dads had talked and worked it out recently. Guess it started again since we now have both of them dead over something that the daughters did. How sad is that? I'm waiting for further information on the ages of the daughters and what finally prompted yesterday's tragedy. Our entire town was disrupted all day and night. It's a small core town with lots of outlying 'neighborhoods'. I live in the original core town and know it well. Drove by those apartments millions of times. Really hits ya when you know how close the mayhem is.

As for me, it's trash day, lots of transients picking through our cans. We now see they have a new technique. It used to be they would roll stolen shopping carts by and collect things, now they all seem to be on bicycles and load things in bags. I wonder why the change, unless the police or stores are confiscating all the shopping carts from the homeless. They do that in the parks where they set up camps. Happens about once a month with a clearing of homeless camps around town and in the drainage canals. We have a lot of fires started by the homeless camps and the fire department is always somewhere fighting a brush fire before it gets to buildings nearby. I don't know why we just can't let them live in all the abandoned huge buildings in downtown that sit there empty. ONE has now been renovated thanks to a local official's efforts and they are doing a 'lottery' to see which of the people on the street will get apartments there. Hope they can do more and get these poor people off the streets. It would solve a ton of problems.

Fantastic Friday ya'll

Popped up to get dinner in the slow cooker. After that, the doggies and I headed out to the park. It was hotter out there than I thought it would be, so we slowed down a bit, but what matters is, we did it.

Home to cool off and make smoothies. Cully fed the dogs while I watched. He's got it down. Cleaned up the kitchen, and now Cully and I are in the den. Son and Perrin are still sleeping.

JoeAna, good to see you. Have fun dancing!

Haroula

Connie, have a wonderful time in the Keys.

Nan, what's up for you today?

Sorta, that is such a sad story.

Welcome to the weekend Boomers.

You too SpaceQ!

Ana

Even though this was a short week it seemed to take forever.

Well, I'm glad you made it through. Plans for the weekend?

SLEEP

Sleep is good!

Sleep is very good!

Dinner is dined, kitchen is cleaned. Off to brush teeth and curl up in bed with a book. Sweet dreams all

Enjoy your evening L4L.

Ana

Good night Boomers.