Posted By: gymcandy1
The Hump - 07/15/15 02:28 AM
If we cannot live so as to be happy, let us least live so as to deserve it.
Immanuel Hermann Fichte
```````````````````````````
Most of these funny cemetery tombstone epitaphs came from graveyards in the old West, where it was often left to acquaintances or even strangers to choose the words on a tombstone, and where a sense of humor was a survivor tool. Some came from elsewhere in the U.S., and some from England or elsewhere. many of these funny epitpahs are well-documented, and some can still be found. Boot Hill, in Tombstone Arizona, and also Boot Hill, in Dodge City, Kansas, have several preserved.
Here are some of the funniest epitaphs:
It was a Cough
That carried him Off
It was a Coffin
They Carried him Off In
On an attorney’s tombstone:
Goembel
John E.
1867-1946
“The defense rests”
Here lies Johnny Yeast.
Pardon me For not rising.
Ruidoso, New Mexico
Jedediah Goodwin
Auctioneer
Born 1828
Going!
Going!!
Gone!!!
1876
Stranger tread
This ground with gravity.
Dentist Brown
Is filling his last cavity.
Here Lies Jane Smith
Wife of Thomas Smith
Marble Cutter:
This Monument Erected
By Her Husband
As A Tribute
To Her Memory.
Monuments of this style
are 250 Dollars.
Effie Jean Robinson
1897-1922
Come blooming youths,
as you pass by ,
And on these lines do cast an eye.
As you are now, so once was I;
As I am now, so must you be;
Prepare for death and follow me.
Upon which someone scribbled:
To follow you
I am not content,
How do I know
Which way you went.
Here lies Lester Moore.
Four slugs
From a forty-four.
No Les
No More.
Here lies Johnny Cole.
Who died upon my soul
After eating a plentiful dinner.
While chewing his crust
He was turned into dust
With his crimes undigested -
poor sinner.
Bill Blake
Was hanged by mistake.
Here lays Butch.
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger
But slow on the draw.
Here lies a man named Zeke.
Second fastest draw
in Cripple Creek.
Here lies the body of Arkansas Jim.
We made the mistake, But the joke’s on him.
He called
Bill Smith
A Liar
I would
rather be here
than in Texas.
Here lies the body
Of Margaret Bent
She kicked up her heels
And away she went.
He got a fish-bone
in his throat
and then he sang
an angel note.
She was not smart,
she was not fair,
But hearts with grief
for her are swellin’;
All empty stands
her little chair:
She died of eatin’
water-mellon.
Rebecca Freeland
1741
She drank good ale,
good punch and wine
And lived to the age of 99.
Beneath this stone,
a lump of clay,
Lies stingy Jimmy Wyatt.
Who died one morning just at ten
And saved a dinner by it.
here lies AN athiest, John Doe
All dressed up and no place to go!
Here he lies, James T. Carson
He blew up his wife
and was hung for arson.
Here lies the body
of John Round.
Lost at sea
and never found.
And here’s an epitaph with a funny double meaning-
you might have to think about it…
Here lies Barnard Lightfoot
Who was accidentally killed
in the 45th year of his age.
This monument was erected
by his grateful family.
```````````````````````````````````
Good morning everyboomie.
Excellent Hump day to ya all.
All I got to say is as sure as there's a sun in the sky, it's gonna get hot enough to melt my butter, and smoke my bacon.
That would be fine if I wanted boiling butter on everything.
Sometimes I like my butter cold.
Heck on hot days I like to just rub cold butter all over my body.
Did I say that out loud?
On the subject of smoked bacon........
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
Immanuel Hermann Fichte
```````````````````````````
Most of these funny cemetery tombstone epitaphs came from graveyards in the old West, where it was often left to acquaintances or even strangers to choose the words on a tombstone, and where a sense of humor was a survivor tool. Some came from elsewhere in the U.S., and some from England or elsewhere. many of these funny epitpahs are well-documented, and some can still be found. Boot Hill, in Tombstone Arizona, and also Boot Hill, in Dodge City, Kansas, have several preserved.
Here are some of the funniest epitaphs:
It was a Cough
That carried him Off
It was a Coffin
They Carried him Off In
On an attorney’s tombstone:
Goembel
John E.
1867-1946
“The defense rests”
Here lies Johnny Yeast.
Pardon me For not rising.
Ruidoso, New Mexico
Jedediah Goodwin
Auctioneer
Born 1828
Going!
Going!!
Gone!!!
1876
Stranger tread
This ground with gravity.
Dentist Brown
Is filling his last cavity.
Here Lies Jane Smith
Wife of Thomas Smith
Marble Cutter:
This Monument Erected
By Her Husband
As A Tribute
To Her Memory.
Monuments of this style
are 250 Dollars.
Effie Jean Robinson
1897-1922
Come blooming youths,
as you pass by ,
And on these lines do cast an eye.
As you are now, so once was I;
As I am now, so must you be;
Prepare for death and follow me.
Upon which someone scribbled:
To follow you
I am not content,
How do I know
Which way you went.
Here lies Lester Moore.
Four slugs
From a forty-four.
No Les
No More.
Here lies Johnny Cole.
Who died upon my soul
After eating a plentiful dinner.
While chewing his crust
He was turned into dust
With his crimes undigested -
poor sinner.
Bill Blake
Was hanged by mistake.
Here lays Butch.
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger
But slow on the draw.
Here lies a man named Zeke.
Second fastest draw
in Cripple Creek.
Here lies the body of Arkansas Jim.
We made the mistake, But the joke’s on him.
He called
Bill Smith
A Liar
I would
rather be here
than in Texas.
Here lies the body
Of Margaret Bent
She kicked up her heels
And away she went.
He got a fish-bone
in his throat
and then he sang
an angel note.
She was not smart,
she was not fair,
But hearts with grief
for her are swellin’;
All empty stands
her little chair:
She died of eatin’
water-mellon.
Rebecca Freeland
1741
She drank good ale,
good punch and wine
And lived to the age of 99.
Beneath this stone,
a lump of clay,
Lies stingy Jimmy Wyatt.
Who died one morning just at ten
And saved a dinner by it.
here lies AN athiest, John Doe
All dressed up and no place to go!
Here he lies, James T. Carson
He blew up his wife
and was hung for arson.
Here lies the body
of John Round.
Lost at sea
and never found.
And here’s an epitaph with a funny double meaning-
you might have to think about it…
Here lies Barnard Lightfoot
Who was accidentally killed
in the 45th year of his age.
This monument was erected
by his grateful family.
```````````````````````````````````
Good morning everyboomie.
Excellent Hump day to ya all.
All I got to say is as sure as there's a sun in the sky, it's gonna get hot enough to melt my butter, and smoke my bacon.
That would be fine if I wanted boiling butter on everything.
Sometimes I like my butter cold.
Heck on hot days I like to just rub cold butter all over my body.
Did I say that out loud? On the subject of smoked bacon........
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
Only dropping to near 80 in the wee hours of the morning. 
I couldn't handle a teen......or anyone younger. 
Ana how was your g'baby this afternoon?