Posted By: gymcandy1
TGIF - 04/01/16 04:42 AM
The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won’t get much sleep.
~Woody Allen~
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When our air conditioner broke down, we called for a serviceman to come and take a look at it. It turned out to be a high school classmate of my husband’s named Love. He said next time we needed any repairs to ask for him. The next year when we needed service again, we requested Mr. Love. I took the day off from work and waited for him to arrive.
After he had worked on our air conditioner, he left his work order behind. It had my name and said: “Wants Love in afternoon.”
``````````````````
There were only two people in line ahead of me at the electronics store, yet the wait was dragging on forever. Finally the customer behind me muttered, “Mr. Hare must be on vacation.”
Only then did I notice the name tag on the man at the register. It read: “Mr. Turtle, sales associate.”
`````````````````````````
A colleague was planning a trip to my business office and asked if I could find him a hotel with exercise facilities. I called several hotels, with no luck.
Finally I thought I had found one. I asked the receptionist if the hotel had a weight room.
"No," she replied, "but we have a lobby and you can wait there."
````````````````````````
My flight was delayed in Houston. Since the gate was needed for another flight, our aircraft was backed away from the terminal, and we were directed to a new gate. We all found the new gate, only to discover a third gate had been designated for our plane.
Finally, everyone got on board the right plane, and the flight attendant announced: “We apologize for the gate change. This flight is going to Washington, D.C. If your destination is not Washington, D.C., you should deplane at this time.”
A moment later a red-faced pilot emerged from the cockpit, carrying his bags. “Sorry,” he said, “wrong plane.”
````````````````````````````
My wife received a credit-card application in the mail that she had not requested. She didn’t want it, but I did. So I crossed off my wife’s name on the form, entered my own and returned the application. I soon got a phone call from a woman saying my application had been rejected.
I asked her why, and she told me the card could only be issued to the person originally solicited by the offer. However, she invited me to reapply, which I did during the same telephone call.
A few days later I got another call to tell me my second application had been rejected.
Why? The woman told me their files showed that I had previously applied for a card and had been denied.
`````````````````````````````
I sold an item through eBay but it got lost in the mail. So I stopped by my local post office and asked them to track it down.
"It’s not that simple," the clerk scolded. "You have to fill out a mail-loss form before we can initiate a search."
"Okay," I said. "I’ll take one."
He rummaged under his counter, then went to some other clerks who did the same—only to return and confess, "You’ll have to come back later. We can’t find the forms."
```````````````````````````
While away on business, a colleague and I decided to catch a movie. As we approached the theater, we read the marquee. It bore the name of the feature film followed by the numbers ‘7,’ ‘5,’ and ‘9.’ Assuming these were the show times, we were somewhat perplexed by their order.
I went inside to ask about it. “Our next show is at eight o’clock,” the woman in the box office announced.
“Eight o’clock?” I said, surprised. “But the marquee says seven, five and nine.”
“Right,” she agreed. “That’s 7:59. We lost our number eight.”
````````````````````````````````
My husband, who is an auto mechanic, received a repair order that read: “Check for clunking noise when going around corners.” Taking the car out for a test drive, he made a right turn, and a moment later heard a clunk. He then made a left turn and again heard a clunk. Back at the shop, he opened the trunk and soon discovered the problem.
Promptly he returned the repair order to the service manager with this notation: “Remove bowling ball from trunk.”
`````````````````````````
One afternoon, while touring the Canyonlands of southern Utah, my husband and I pulled into the only hotel in a small town. While signing the register, we asked the young woman behind the desk if our room was air-conditioned.
When she shook her head no, we hesitated, wondering if we should push on to the next town. Sensing our doubt, she brightened as she came up with a solution. "Just turn on the heater," she suggested. "Our customers tell us all that comes out is cold air anyway."
``````````````````````````````
The aquarium shop where I work has been in business for more than 20 years. One Sunday a customer called wanting to buy a larger aquarium. "And by the way, I’ve spent a lot of money at your store over the years," he said. "I think I should get a discount."
"Only our owner can give a discount," I explained, "and he won’t be in until tomorrow."
When the customer said that he’d come in the next day, I asked him if there was anything else I could help him with.
"Sure," he said. "Where is your store located?"
````````````````````````````
Good morning everyboomie.
I had one busy day, and I feel as frazzled as a cat in a car wash.
At least I'm clean.
I can't keep my baby blues open anymore.
Have a happy day everyone.
No really.....have a happy day.
joe
~Woody Allen~
```````````````````````
When our air conditioner broke down, we called for a serviceman to come and take a look at it. It turned out to be a high school classmate of my husband’s named Love. He said next time we needed any repairs to ask for him. The next year when we needed service again, we requested Mr. Love. I took the day off from work and waited for him to arrive.
After he had worked on our air conditioner, he left his work order behind. It had my name and said: “Wants Love in afternoon.”
``````````````````
There were only two people in line ahead of me at the electronics store, yet the wait was dragging on forever. Finally the customer behind me muttered, “Mr. Hare must be on vacation.”
Only then did I notice the name tag on the man at the register. It read: “Mr. Turtle, sales associate.”
`````````````````````````
A colleague was planning a trip to my business office and asked if I could find him a hotel with exercise facilities. I called several hotels, with no luck.
Finally I thought I had found one. I asked the receptionist if the hotel had a weight room.
"No," she replied, "but we have a lobby and you can wait there."
````````````````````````
My flight was delayed in Houston. Since the gate was needed for another flight, our aircraft was backed away from the terminal, and we were directed to a new gate. We all found the new gate, only to discover a third gate had been designated for our plane.
Finally, everyone got on board the right plane, and the flight attendant announced: “We apologize for the gate change. This flight is going to Washington, D.C. If your destination is not Washington, D.C., you should deplane at this time.”
A moment later a red-faced pilot emerged from the cockpit, carrying his bags. “Sorry,” he said, “wrong plane.”
````````````````````````````
My wife received a credit-card application in the mail that she had not requested. She didn’t want it, but I did. So I crossed off my wife’s name on the form, entered my own and returned the application. I soon got a phone call from a woman saying my application had been rejected.
I asked her why, and she told me the card could only be issued to the person originally solicited by the offer. However, she invited me to reapply, which I did during the same telephone call.
A few days later I got another call to tell me my second application had been rejected.
Why? The woman told me their files showed that I had previously applied for a card and had been denied.
`````````````````````````````
I sold an item through eBay but it got lost in the mail. So I stopped by my local post office and asked them to track it down.
"It’s not that simple," the clerk scolded. "You have to fill out a mail-loss form before we can initiate a search."
"Okay," I said. "I’ll take one."
He rummaged under his counter, then went to some other clerks who did the same—only to return and confess, "You’ll have to come back later. We can’t find the forms."
```````````````````````````
While away on business, a colleague and I decided to catch a movie. As we approached the theater, we read the marquee. It bore the name of the feature film followed by the numbers ‘7,’ ‘5,’ and ‘9.’ Assuming these were the show times, we were somewhat perplexed by their order.
I went inside to ask about it. “Our next show is at eight o’clock,” the woman in the box office announced.
“Eight o’clock?” I said, surprised. “But the marquee says seven, five and nine.”
“Right,” she agreed. “That’s 7:59. We lost our number eight.”
````````````````````````````````
My husband, who is an auto mechanic, received a repair order that read: “Check for clunking noise when going around corners.” Taking the car out for a test drive, he made a right turn, and a moment later heard a clunk. He then made a left turn and again heard a clunk. Back at the shop, he opened the trunk and soon discovered the problem.
Promptly he returned the repair order to the service manager with this notation: “Remove bowling ball from trunk.”
`````````````````````````
One afternoon, while touring the Canyonlands of southern Utah, my husband and I pulled into the only hotel in a small town. While signing the register, we asked the young woman behind the desk if our room was air-conditioned.
When she shook her head no, we hesitated, wondering if we should push on to the next town. Sensing our doubt, she brightened as she came up with a solution. "Just turn on the heater," she suggested. "Our customers tell us all that comes out is cold air anyway."
``````````````````````````````
The aquarium shop where I work has been in business for more than 20 years. One Sunday a customer called wanting to buy a larger aquarium. "And by the way, I’ve spent a lot of money at your store over the years," he said. "I think I should get a discount."
"Only our owner can give a discount," I explained, "and he won’t be in until tomorrow."
When the customer said that he’d come in the next day, I asked him if there was anything else I could help him with.
"Sure," he said. "Where is your store located?"
````````````````````````````
Good morning everyboomie.
I had one busy day, and I feel as frazzled as a cat in a car wash.
At least I'm clean.
I can't keep my baby blues open anymore.
Have a happy day everyone.
No really.....have a happy day.
joe
Good Morning Joe, Ana, Haroula and everyone. Coffee and tea are ready. Wishing everyone a great day. 
Midgie, thoughts and prayers with you today! 
Sorta