Posted By: gymcandy1
Saturdiner - 04/09/16 03:38 AM
GEORGE W. BUSH
To those of you who received honours, awards and distinctions, I say well done. And to the C students, I say you, too, can be president of the United States.
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I discussed peer pressure and cigarettes with my 12-year-old daughter. Having struggled for years to quit, I described how I had started smoking to "be cool."
As I outlined the arguments kids might make to tempt her to try it, she stopped me mid-lecture, saying, "Hey, I’ll just tell them my mom smokes. How cool can it be?"
``````````````````````````
Mother and I were discussing our mutual weight problem one evening, when I challenged her to a contest. If I lost the most weight in the next month, I wouldn’t have to pay her the $6 that I owed her. If she lost the most weight, I would have to pay up. Anything for an incentive!
“All right,” said Mother happily. “But let’s wait two weeks before we start. There are some things I have to eat first.”
````````````````````````
One rainy morning, my mother went for her daily run. As she returned to the house, she slipped and fell, hitting her head on the driveway.
I called the paramedics. When they arrived, they asked my mom some questions to determine her coherency. “What is today?” inquired one man.
Without hesitation, Mom replied, “Trash day.”
````````````````````````
Although I knew I had put on a few pounds, I didn’t consider myself overweight until the day I decided to clean my refrigerator. I sat on a chair in front of the appliance and reached in to wipe the back wall.
While I was in this position, my teenage son came into the kitchen. “Hi, Mom,” he said. “Whatcha doin’, having lunch?”
I started my diet that day.
``````````````````````````
When I arrived at school for my daughter’s parent-teacher conference, the teacher seemed a bit flustered, especially when she started telling me that my little girl didn’t always pay attention in class and was sometimes a little flighty.
"For example, she’ll do the wrong page in the workbook," the teacher explained, "and I’ve even found her sitting at the wrong desk."
"I don’t understand," I replied defensively. "Where could she have gotten that?"
The teacher went on to reassure me that my daughter was still doing fine in school and was sweet and likable. Finally, after a pause, she added, "By the way, Mrs. Gulbrandsen, our appointment was tomorrow."
````````````````````````````
On our way to my parents’ house for dinner one evening, I glanced over at my 15-year-old daughter. "Isn’t that skirt a bit short?" I asked. She rolled her eyes at my comment and gave me one of those "Oh, Mom" looks.
When we arrived at my folks’ place, my mother greeted us at the door, hugged my daughter, then turned to me and said, "Elizabeth! Don’t you think that blouse is awfully low-cut?"
```````````````````````````
While driving on the highway, my daughter noticed a child in the window of a car in the next lane, holding up a handwritten sign that read "Help."
A few minutes later, the car passed her and she again glanced at it. The little boy held up the same sign and this time followed it with another, which read "My mother is singing!"
```````````````````````
A couple of hours into a visit with my mother she noticed I hadn’t lit up a cigarette once. “Are you trying to kick the habit?”
“No,” I replied, “I’ve got a cold and I don’t smoke when I’m not feeling well.”
“You know,” she observed, “you’d probably live longer if you were sick more often.”
```````````````````````
While doing renovations in our house, one of the workmen paused to look at a flattering photo of me wearing makeup and a fancy gown. I heard him let out a low whistle and ask my son, Joshua, "Who’s that?"
"That’s my mom," Joshua answered.
"Wow," the man said, "my mother doesn’t look like that."
"Yeah," my son said, "well, neither does mine."
`````````````````````````
Good morning everyboomie.
It's another day in the neighborhood.
Probably the same where you are.
It may not be the same day for you as it is for me, but another day anyway.
If you're not sure exactly which day it is, don't feel bad, neither do I.
It doesn't matter anyway. It's another day just like the other day. Take your pick.
Personally I would pick a weekend day......like Saturday.
I am.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
To those of you who received honours, awards and distinctions, I say well done. And to the C students, I say you, too, can be president of the United States.
```````````````````````````
I discussed peer pressure and cigarettes with my 12-year-old daughter. Having struggled for years to quit, I described how I had started smoking to "be cool."
As I outlined the arguments kids might make to tempt her to try it, she stopped me mid-lecture, saying, "Hey, I’ll just tell them my mom smokes. How cool can it be?"
``````````````````````````
Mother and I were discussing our mutual weight problem one evening, when I challenged her to a contest. If I lost the most weight in the next month, I wouldn’t have to pay her the $6 that I owed her. If she lost the most weight, I would have to pay up. Anything for an incentive!
“All right,” said Mother happily. “But let’s wait two weeks before we start. There are some things I have to eat first.”
````````````````````````
One rainy morning, my mother went for her daily run. As she returned to the house, she slipped and fell, hitting her head on the driveway.
I called the paramedics. When they arrived, they asked my mom some questions to determine her coherency. “What is today?” inquired one man.
Without hesitation, Mom replied, “Trash day.”
````````````````````````
Although I knew I had put on a few pounds, I didn’t consider myself overweight until the day I decided to clean my refrigerator. I sat on a chair in front of the appliance and reached in to wipe the back wall.
While I was in this position, my teenage son came into the kitchen. “Hi, Mom,” he said. “Whatcha doin’, having lunch?”
I started my diet that day.
``````````````````````````
When I arrived at school for my daughter’s parent-teacher conference, the teacher seemed a bit flustered, especially when she started telling me that my little girl didn’t always pay attention in class and was sometimes a little flighty.
"For example, she’ll do the wrong page in the workbook," the teacher explained, "and I’ve even found her sitting at the wrong desk."
"I don’t understand," I replied defensively. "Where could she have gotten that?"
The teacher went on to reassure me that my daughter was still doing fine in school and was sweet and likable. Finally, after a pause, she added, "By the way, Mrs. Gulbrandsen, our appointment was tomorrow."
````````````````````````````
On our way to my parents’ house for dinner one evening, I glanced over at my 15-year-old daughter. "Isn’t that skirt a bit short?" I asked. She rolled her eyes at my comment and gave me one of those "Oh, Mom" looks.
When we arrived at my folks’ place, my mother greeted us at the door, hugged my daughter, then turned to me and said, "Elizabeth! Don’t you think that blouse is awfully low-cut?"
```````````````````````````
While driving on the highway, my daughter noticed a child in the window of a car in the next lane, holding up a handwritten sign that read "Help."
A few minutes later, the car passed her and she again glanced at it. The little boy held up the same sign and this time followed it with another, which read "My mother is singing!"
```````````````````````
A couple of hours into a visit with my mother she noticed I hadn’t lit up a cigarette once. “Are you trying to kick the habit?”
“No,” I replied, “I’ve got a cold and I don’t smoke when I’m not feeling well.”
“You know,” she observed, “you’d probably live longer if you were sick more often.”
```````````````````````
While doing renovations in our house, one of the workmen paused to look at a flattering photo of me wearing makeup and a fancy gown. I heard him let out a low whistle and ask my son, Joshua, "Who’s that?"
"That’s my mom," Joshua answered.
"Wow," the man said, "my mother doesn’t look like that."
"Yeah," my son said, "well, neither does mine."
`````````````````````````
Good morning everyboomie.
It's another day in the neighborhood.
Probably the same where you are.
It may not be the same day for you as it is for me, but another day anyway.
If you're not sure exactly which day it is, don't feel bad, neither do I.
It doesn't matter anyway. It's another day just like the other day. Take your pick.
Personally I would pick a weekend day......like Saturday.
I am.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
Good Morning Joe, SpaceQ, Ana, and everyone. Coffee and tea are ready. Wishing Happy Day for all! 
Have a Great Saturday everyone. Danish, BB Pancakes, and Bacon Sandwiches in the NC. 
) today.
