Tuesday's

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

CASKIE STINNETT

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Spotted in the classifieds: “For sale: cemetery plot, $200, so 
I don’t have to spend all eternity 
beside my ex!”

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The Best of The Onion Magazine Covers

• “I Thought He Was Going to Kill Me”: One Woman’s Harrowing Misunderstanding of How Haircuts Work

• The 100 Worst Senators

• The World’s 10 Most Powerful Women: We Make Them Discuss Fashion and Lindsay Lohan

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“Now hiring,” read the classified ad. “Cemetery superintendent. The ideal candidate must be able to supervise in a fast-paced environment.”

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“Wanted to buy: playpen, cradle, high chair; also two single beds.”

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Just because the items in these classified ads are free doesn’t mean they’re worth it:

• Free: Piano with matching bench seat, very good condition, all keys work probably

Source: Gettysburg Area Merchandiser

• Free: 5 kitchen drawers, all matching naughty pine fronts

Source: Topeka Capital-Journal

• Free Vain Screening

Source: Boston Globe

• Free rent in exchange for elderly woman

Source: 11points.com

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We all make mistakes. Some 
are just more public than others, 
like these real newspaper typos:

“Here the bridal couple stood, 
facing the floral setting, and exchanged cows.” Modesto News-Herald (California)

“It took many rabbits many years to write the Talmud.” Holland Evening Sentinel (Michigan)

“Mrs. ____ fell down stairs at her home this morning, breaking her myhodudududududududosy, and suffered painful injuries.” Ohio paper

“A headline in an item in the 
Feb. 15th edition incorrectly stated ‘Stolen Groceries.’ It should have read: ‘Homicide.’” Enquirer-Bulletin

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Think the comments on Internet posts are tough? See what happened when the Washington Post asked its readers to write intentionally angry letters to actual headlines:

Headline: 20,000 Pound Pavement to Help Homeless

Response: “Are you people idiots? What the homeless need are homes, not ten tons of additional pavement!”

Headline: Maryland Agrees to 
Tobacco Settlement

Response: “Well, that’s all we 
need—an entire settlement of people devoted to their cancer sticks. What’s next, a drunk-driving commune?”

Headline: C.C. United Se Une 
Hoy a Campana Solidaria Pro 
Centroamerica

Response: “I was disgusted with 
the sloppy spelling for [this] article. There were so many typos, I couldn’t understand a word.”

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File These Headlines Under: We Don’t Even Want to Know.

•Firefighters Use Jaws of Life to Free High School Girl from Locker

•FDA Approves Third Silicone-Gel Breast Implant

•Missing Woman Unwittingly Joins Search Party Looking for Herself

•Woman’s “Stomach Bug” Actually Baby

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A headline in my local newspaper: “Appleton Airport May Soon Be Known as Appleton Airport.”

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Journalists and editors on deadline make the occasional error. Some are funnier than others:
• NBC reported that American students rank internationally at: “26th math, 21th science, 17th reading.”
• Britain’s Sky News showed the 
importance of punctuation: “Top 
stories: World leaders at Mandela tribute, Obama–Castro handshake and same-sex marriage date set.”
• A retraction from Wired: “A previous version of this story incorrectly quoted Dropbox cofounder Drew Houston saying ‘anyone with nipples’ instead of ‘anyone with a pulse.’”

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Misadventures in headline writing from around the world:

City Unsure Why the Sewer Smells —The Herald-Palladium (St. Joseph, Michigan)

Case of Innocent Man Freed 
After Spending 18 Years in Prison Proves Texas System Works —Lubbock Avalanche-Journal (Texas)

British Left Waffles on Falklands —The Guardian

At Last Singer Etta James Dies —dailymail.co.uk

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Good morning everyboomie.


I'm ready for some head hunting! I'm tired of sitting around here playing week-day roulette, and waiting for rain.


Well today it rained. It was not enough rain really, but it was enough to possibly give me a chance at it.


I can't go to the creek. The water will be muddy, so.....I'll have to go elsewhere.


The peanut field seems most appropriate. After all I am a head hunting nut.


I don't even think I'll be able to find anything there because the grass, and crops have sprouted up, but maybe somewhere around the place I'll get lucky.


Maybe I'll find a nuther place to look.


Maybe I'll find a big paved parking lot and walk around looking there.


At any rate I'll be out of here.


Have a happy day everyone.



joe

Have a great Tuesday Joe and everyone.

I'm late for bed. It's another early work day for me.

Have a terrific day, everyone.

Joe, I hope you find places to hunt that haven't been hunted. Enjoy the day!

Venus, have a great day!

Have a happy day everyone! The weather is supposed to start getting warmer everyday this week. I'm really looking forward to it!

Good morning Boomers,we make preparations for Easter (1st of May).
Have all a nice day.

Good Morning Joe, venus, Ana, Haroula and all. Joe Good Luck! Venus how are the kitties getting along? Haroula what preparations do you do for your Easter? Coffee and tea are ready. Going to be a very raining windy day today.
I think I'll finish reading my latest Anne Perry mystery. Wishing you all a nice day.

Good morning everyone here and all who come in later. I have another split shift today. Heavy rain in the forecast later. Time to get going. See ya.

Midgie

Good morning everyone. Robert is safely home. He is still waiting to hear from the clinic that is supposed to give him the shots in his back for the herniated disc. He is in a lot of pain, but couldn't cancel the Denver trip as everything was already paid for in advance, airline tickets, hotel, and rental car. Prayers that he can get the shots soon, and they will help. Have a Super Tuesday everyone. Danish, BB Pancakes, and Bacon Sandwiches in the NC.

Good Morning Boomers

Wishing everyone here and everyone on their way a wonderful day!

Good morning everybody!!! The sun is shinning and the wind has calmed!!

May you all have a lovely day!!!


Nan

Good morning fellow boomers. Hope everyone has a great day

Happy Tuesday. Well, my Yard Kid actually arrived yesterday and did a fairly good job. Unfortunately, he didn't finish and said he would be back early today. Guess what? He actually was here at 8 am! Geez. I was still asleep. Actually I think he spent the night with his 'girlfriend' who is actually his sister-in-law, but not really his sister-in-law, but rather the wife (well not really the wife since they never married) of his brother. Hummm well not actually his brother, because the guy he calls his brother is actually not a brother in any way. He is really the step-son of deceased father.

Getting confused. Me too. I've learned a lot of the complicated family tree. So my Yard Kid's mom tossed him to relatives when her hubby (the kid's actual father) died. Yard Kid was the youngest of 6 kids. He was tossed from one family member to another all over Mexico and California. He eventually ended up here, with the 'brother' and his pseudo wife and 2 nieces and nephews. The two older girls were from the pseudo wife's first marriage and the young boy from his 'brother'. This is all so weird.

So then as my Yard Kid grew up and got to be 17ish, he started having actual physical fights with his 'brother'. After a lot of questions we determined that the 'brother' was a heroin addict and prone to outbursts. So Yard Kid got beat up a lot between 17 and 18. He had no where else to live so he made the best of it. Now here is where the 'best' turns into a true Soap Opera. Yard Kid eventually managed to get rid of the 'brother' after death threats, and stalking by said 'brother' and the police were looking for him but he moved to Los Angeles to avoid arrest. In the meantime, down here on earth, Yard Kid was being consoled by his sister-in-law, who really isn't his sister-in-law.

Eventually, through the process of seeing lots of 'hickeys' on Yard Kid's neck and the way he matured and then finally finding his Facebook page, we discovered that Yard Kid was now the lover of the sister-in-law. Ugh. AND he was claiming the youngest boy (his nephew who isn't his nephew) as HIS. The kid is not his, thank goodness. But on Facebook, he has pictures and profession of true love for his new 'older' woman. This is all so sordid. Just like a Soap Opera, yup.

Anyway, the two lovers eventually had a falling out when SHE got a new boyfriend (someone her own age) and she got a restraining order on Yard Kid. He bounced from place to place, but NOW he seems to be back with her and deleriously happy again. They have all sorts of cutesy pictures on Facebook. She's using him to support her and he's using her for...you know. As long as he's happy I'm all for whatever they are up to. She's 45ish and he is 23 in May. A match made in heaven. Oh well.

So now you see why my life is complicated when it comes to having yard work done. I'd dump him, but he's willing to do all the nasty chores for minimum wage (and some drinks and snacks) and my neighbor and I over pay him a lot. Don't know what we would do without him. Let's hope this on again off again romance keeps him available to us. I think he's moving in with her soon, now that the restraining order she had on him for 3 years is over. Fun fun fun.

Terrific Tuesday ya'll

It's a nice cool day and I'm gonna take the dogs and hit the park before the rain finds us. Son has requested granola bars so those will go on the agenda soon, but need some ingredients first.

MIL is out of today's surgery.

Joe,

Haroula, what kind of preparations do you make?

Gerry, is your book a new release?

Midgy, hope the day is great!

Connie, so glad Robert is back. Hope he gets that shot soon. Can he stretch? Son has had back problems for many years and finds that regular yoga type stretches help him a bit.

Gail, hope the day is fantastic!

Nan, sounds like a beautiful day for a beautiful person.

Manx, have a great day yourself.

Sorta, my head is spinning. Sounds like the outline for a tv dramady.

Ok, off to the park

Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Good luck head hunting and have a terrific Tuesday's!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Just finished a fantastic walk! So rejuvenating!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!

Good afternoon Boomers.

Afternoon, Space

Hello everyone.

I went out to the peanut field this morning. It was a perfect day for being there. It turns out they had a huge storm drive a lot of water across the field last night, and most of the area where the artifacts are located is still bare ground.

It took me five hours of looking before I found my first point........ but then.

I found 10 points. All of them very rough, if not broken, but hey, I didn't expect to find anything at all. Plus I found quite a few blades, and one awesome thumb scraper.

Tomorrow.....the creek.

joe

Woohoo, what a haul

Congrats Joe! What an exciting day!

Ana

Well, think I'll feed the dogs and call it a day. Sweet dreams all

Calling it a day. Tomorrow is my day off. Lots to do though. See you n the morning. Joe I'm impressed. You founds all those today? Wow!

See you in the morning.

Midgie

Good night, everyone.