TGIF

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell “BINGO!”

ANONYMOUS

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These funny bloopers are actual mistakes by students who were tutored in Conversational English.

That night, we went skin dipping- Just the two of us!
You mean you went skinny dipping?
It is called skinny dipping? But I’m not very skinny!
Well, that’s what they call it if you go swimming nude.
What is “Nude?”
Nude means Naked. No clothes or swimsuits.
Naked? No! I would never skin dip naked! There are little slippery fish everywhere! We skinned dipped with our underwear over us.

We were lovers,
but now she is my biggest enema!

We have hated each other for so long.
I want to borrow the hatchet.

My relationship with my
ax girlfriend was so painful.

FOOD AND COOKING

Do you like this food?
I made it from scratching!

I never liked mushrooms,
but now they are starting to grow in me.

Do you like your coffee cremated?

Are you hungry? I have dirty toes.
You have what?
Dirty toes. In my back pack.
Um, can you spell that?
Maybe D-O-R-I-T-O-S. Do you
Want to try one?
No thanks. I’m not so hungry
right now.

—Put the cabbages in salt water.
Then sit in the sink until the morning.
—Add two cups of ground flowers.
—Next, chop all the vegetarians
into little pieces.
—Then add small feces of fish.
—Don’t forget to insult the soup.
—Next, add a little Buddha
and mix it all up.
—When you are finished cooking,
find a suitable bowel and eat it with chopsticks.

HEALTH
Last night, when I ate dinner I started joking.
My friend hit my back very hard
until I stopped.
I was so lucky he was there!

A cold is caused by micro-orgasms in your nose.

I had a little ass dent this morning but I’m okay now.

My leg has been breaking for three weeks.

It is dangerous to smoke while you are becoming pregnant.

I have a very kinky neck.

I probably should have gone to the doctor
one ear ago.

I want my face to have
the buttocks treatment.
The what?
The buttocks treatment. It makes your
wrinkles go away. It’s very famous
in Hollywood.
Oh. It’s pronounced “bo tox”.
That’s it. The buttocks treatment.
Maybe you need it too a little.

PARENTS
I always ate lunch at school.
But every day my mother made me suffer.

My bed has three blankets
and a large guilt my parents gave me.

My father met us at the airport
and gave me a big hog.
Then he hogged my wife.

Renting and Dorm and Apartment Living

Me and my brother share
a small womb in the basement.

We live on the sex floor.
Our apartment is small but we have a nice view.

WEDDINGS
I have something exciting to tell you.
My girlfriend and I got enraged last night!

The groom was wearing
A very nice croissant.

He lifted the veal off her face
and gave her a big kiss.

WEATHER
This morning, I was walking outside,
when suddenly a big shower fell on me!

Yesterday I had strong wind here.

Rain makes old cars lust. So be careful
about that. Once a car starts lusting,
there’s no way to stop it.

The entire country has been
devastated by a long trout.

When a volcan explodes, millions
of tons of larva can bury a city

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Good morning everyboomie.


I wanted to get an earlier start tonight while I'm still awake.


I haven't even taken my sleeping pills yet, but I'm fixing to. Don't want to wait too late for that either.


I work Friday, and I need my rest.


I am off for the weekend so....IT's FRIDAY EVERYBODY, LET'S PARTY!


But not too late.


Have a happy day everyone.


joe

Have a happy day, Joe! My sister is coming in from Indiana to stay the night today. Can't wait!

Happy Friday all!

Ana

Good Morning Joe, Ana and everyone. Joe hope you sleep better. Ana enjoy your visit with your sister! Coffee and tea are ready and the pot is on the table L4L!
Have a great Friday everyone.

Good morning everyone, have a Super TGIF. Danish, BB Pancakes, and Bacon Sandwiches in the NC.

Good Morning Boomers

Joe, sleep well. Have a nice day!

Ana, enjoy the day with your sister.

Gerry, yes on the coffee.

Connie, thanks for the Danish! enjoy the day!

A nice morning walk with Nina then finishing packing belongings for my Foster Teen leaving to go home this afternoon for good. She was here over a year and we'll miss her but glad it worked out for her family. She got pretty close to my girls so she'll be visiting occasionally. Wishing everyone a wonderful Friday!

Good morning everybody. I'm getting ready for work.

Ana how nice to get to visit with your sis. Have a great day.

Gerry thanks for the coffee. Don't mind if I do. Have a super day.

Mmmmm 'bacon sandwiches' thanks very much Connie!

Gail I didn't know you were a foster parent. I must not pay enough attention to the diner. That's great! I'm glad she gets to go back to her family. I know you'll miss her.

Have a super day everyone.


joe

Joe may work fly and go well! thanks for the chuckles and have a lovely day!

Ana enjoy your time with your sister!!! Have a lovely day!

Gerry thanks for the coffee and have a lovely day!

Gail HUGS! I'm sure that has to be hard to do but sure am happy that things worked out for her to go home again!!! Have a lovely day!

Connie thanks for the danish and have a lovely day!

L4l prayers continue for Keoki!! May his heart rate straighten out soonest!!! HUGS!! Have a lovely day!


Nan

Wheeeee! We had an earthquake at about 1 am this morning. Neat. It was about 90 miles from here in the desert, and only 7 miles deep so it was quite a jolt for those closer. I only felt the one gentle rocking of the 5.2m quake. All my chandeliers were swinging. No damages/injuries so they say where it hit. Darlene?? Did you feel it up where you are?

Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers and hope your work day goes smoothly! Happy TGIF!

Hi, Sorta! No, did not feel the earthquake this morning! Slept right through! Usually I'm more aware when they hit!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Lovely day here today!

Alrighty, off to see what's afoot!

Fantastic Friday ya'll

I was up early and busy in the kitchen. Then out for a nice hard walk in the hills of our neighborhood. Now I'm exhausted

Talked with the vet this morning. First they told me Keoki could come home tonight, then about 2 hours later someone called and said he could come home tomorrow. When I queried that, she said perhaps she hadn't gotten the word that he could go today. I have a call in to verify that he can come home today. I don't want to make the drive if he isn't free yet.

Anyway, time to sit and surf for a sec while I wait for a call back.

Joe, glad you are off for the weekend. How are all the babies?

Woohoo, Ana, enjoy your family.

Gerry, grabbing the pot now. Thanks!

Thanks, Connie, How is Robert's back?

Gail, so glad you were there for her. Will she be close by?

Nan, hugs back!

Sorta, eek. Glad you were not hit badly.

Darlene, hope whatever you found was interesting.

FREE KEOKI

SpaceQ!

L4L, I hope you are on your way to get him!

Hot day here today and tomorrow even hotter. I have my 9 mile Super Spartan Race tomorrow and it will be 95 degrees with 65% humidity. I could use some positive thoughts heading my way!

Ana, lots of positive thoughts!

Thanks, Space Your thoughts worked....he's home! Now we have to Keoki proof so he doesn't get up or down stairs.

Glad to hear the news looney. Thanks for the update.

thank you so much that supportive of my post regarding my loss of Shawnee. A very hard part was watching Rebel wander around looking for her and lying down near where she would lay. He's been better today. Skye has has also been depressed but not quite as bad.

It's going to be quite a zoo here for awhile trying to keep Keoki from going up or down stairs, away from the other dogs, and not licking his incision but we'll get through it. I'd rather have those problems than not have him.

Trippy, I know Rebel and Skye are grieving. Hugs to you and pets and treats for them.

I'm thinking my bed is calling as soon as we get Keoki situated. Sweet dreams all