Posted By: gymcandy1
Sip and Surf Sunday - 07/24/16 02:56 AM
Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.
HENRY FORD
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You’ve probably seen some of these classic dumb, stupid and funny warning labels and product instructions before. Some are painfully obvious, some don’t quite master the English language, and others are unintended double meanings… Most are pretty darn funny. So, in case you missed any, here is a collection of the stupidest and funniest warning labels, most verified as authentic.
Funny, Dumb and Stupid Warning Labels
Do not use while sleeping.
Sears hair dryer
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside.
Bag of Fritos
Use like regular soap.
Dial soap
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
Swann frozen dinner
Fits one head.
Shower cap box
Do not turn upside down.
Bottom of Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert box
Product will be hot after heating.
Marks & Spencer bread pudding
Do not iron clothes on body.
Rowenta iron
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
Boot’s children’s cough medicine
Warning: May cause drowsiness.
Nytol
Warning: Keep out of children.
Korean kitchen knife
For indoor or outdoor use only.
Chinese Christmas lights
Not to be used for the other use.
Japanese food processor
Warning: Contains nuts.
Sainsbury’s peanuts
Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.
American Airlines peanut packet
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
Swedish chainsaw
``````````````````````````````
Humorous, silly, stupid and weird classified ads from newspapers and magazines
Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.
Stock up and save. Limit: one.
We build bodies that last a lifetime.
For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.
Man, honest. Will take anything.
Wanted: chambermaid in rectory. Love in, $200 a month. References required.
Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.
Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!
Christmans tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.
Modular Sofas. Only $299. For rest or fore play.
Wanted: Hair-cutter. Excellent growth potential.
Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.
3-year-old teacher need for pre-school. Experience preferred.
Our experienced Mom will care of your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.
Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.
Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you’ll never go anywhere again.
Holcross pullets. Starting to lay Betty Clayton, Granite 5-6204.
Illiterate? Write today for free help.
Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.
Wanted. Widower with school-age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.
Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.
Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.
And now, the Superstore–unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.
We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.
``````````````````````````````
Here are some funny newspaper headlines:
Grandmother of eight makes hole in one
Deaf mute gets new hearing in killing
Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers
House passes gas tax onto senate
Stiff opposition expected to casketless funeral plan
Two convicts evade noose, jury hung
William Kelly was fed secretary
Milk drinkers are turning to powder
Safety experts say school bus passengers should be belted
Quarter of a million Chinese live on water
Farmer bill dies in house
`````````````````````````````
Welcome to the sweetest little Sip and Surf Sunday Diner everyboomie.
Sugar....Ah Honey Honey....You are my candy girl, and you got me wanting you.
Is that sweet enough for you?
Personally I'm trying real hard to cut down on sugar.
It's a struggle.
A..sweet struggle.
It's making me a sourpuss though.
Hopefully though I'll be a healthy-er sourpuss.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
HENRY FORD
```````````````````````````
You’ve probably seen some of these classic dumb, stupid and funny warning labels and product instructions before. Some are painfully obvious, some don’t quite master the English language, and others are unintended double meanings… Most are pretty darn funny. So, in case you missed any, here is a collection of the stupidest and funniest warning labels, most verified as authentic.
Funny, Dumb and Stupid Warning Labels
Do not use while sleeping.
Sears hair dryer
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside.
Bag of Fritos
Use like regular soap.
Dial soap
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
Swann frozen dinner
Fits one head.
Shower cap box
Do not turn upside down.
Bottom of Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert box
Product will be hot after heating.
Marks & Spencer bread pudding
Do not iron clothes on body.
Rowenta iron
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
Boot’s children’s cough medicine
Warning: May cause drowsiness.
Nytol
Warning: Keep out of children.
Korean kitchen knife
For indoor or outdoor use only.
Chinese Christmas lights
Not to be used for the other use.
Japanese food processor
Warning: Contains nuts.
Sainsbury’s peanuts
Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.
American Airlines peanut packet
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
Swedish chainsaw
``````````````````````````````
Humorous, silly, stupid and weird classified ads from newspapers and magazines
Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.
Stock up and save. Limit: one.
We build bodies that last a lifetime.
For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.
Man, honest. Will take anything.
Wanted: chambermaid in rectory. Love in, $200 a month. References required.
Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.
Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!
Christmans tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.
Modular Sofas. Only $299. For rest or fore play.
Wanted: Hair-cutter. Excellent growth potential.
Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.
3-year-old teacher need for pre-school. Experience preferred.
Our experienced Mom will care of your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.
Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.
Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you’ll never go anywhere again.
Holcross pullets. Starting to lay Betty Clayton, Granite 5-6204.
Illiterate? Write today for free help.
Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.
Wanted. Widower with school-age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.
Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.
Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.
And now, the Superstore–unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.
We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.
``````````````````````````````
Here are some funny newspaper headlines:
Grandmother of eight makes hole in one
Deaf mute gets new hearing in killing
Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers
House passes gas tax onto senate
Stiff opposition expected to casketless funeral plan
Two convicts evade noose, jury hung
William Kelly was fed secretary
Milk drinkers are turning to powder
Safety experts say school bus passengers should be belted
Quarter of a million Chinese live on water
Farmer bill dies in house
`````````````````````````````
Welcome to the sweetest little Sip and Surf Sunday Diner everyboomie.
Sugar....Ah Honey Honey....You are my candy girl, and you got me wanting you.
Is that sweet enough for you?
Personally I'm trying real hard to cut down on sugar.
It's a struggle.
A..sweet struggle.
It's making me a sourpuss though.
Hopefully though I'll be a healthy-er sourpuss.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
A storm headed in and the wind came off the lake and we didn't see a drop. It disappeared before it got to the ground. Today has started at 61!!! Have a lovely day!
