Posted By: gymcandy1
Sip and Surf Sunday - 07/31/16 03:30 AM
GEORGE R. R. MARTIN
We march to victory or we march to defeat, but we go forward — only forward.
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Curious Kids
Our six-year-old daughter, Terra, has a need to ask questions … lots of questions. Finally, one day, my wife had had it.
"Have you ever heard that curiosity killed the cat?" my wife asked.
"No," replied Terra.
"Well, there was a cat, and he was very inquisitive. And one day, he looked into a big hole, fell in, and died!"
Terra was intrigued: "What was in the hole?"
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Waiting Room
I sat in the doctor’s waiting room watching a young mother try desperately to control her three loud children. "They’re not a very good advertisement, are they?" she groaned apologetically.
A man muttered, "Only if you’re advertising contraceptives."
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Where You Want to Be
"Where is Pearl Harbor?" I asked my fourth-grade history class. "Here’s a hint: It’s a place where everyone wants to go."
One student blurted out, "Candy Land!"
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Lincoln Memorial
When my eight-year-old sister came to visit, I took a day off from my job at the Pentagon and showed her the Lincoln Memorial. There she saw a large block of text—273 words long—etched into the monument.
"What’s that?" she asked.
"Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address," I told her.
"If that’s his address, how does he get any mail?"
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Kid Philosophy
I picked up my nine-year-old daughter from school and asked how her day had gone. A few minutes later, I repeated the question, and again a few minutes after that. Instead of annoyed, Ariana was philosophical.
"Mom," she said, "your amnesia is my déjà vu."
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he Warning
I should have known better than to take my four-year-old son shopping with me. I spent the entire time in the mall chasing after him. Finally, I’d had it. "Do you want a stranger to take you?!" I scolded.
Thrilled, he yelled back, "Will he take me to the zoo?"
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he Warning
I should have known better than to take my four-year-old son shopping with me. I spent the entire time in the mall chasing after him. Finally, I’d had it. "Do you want a stranger to take you?!" I scolded.
Thrilled, he yelled back, "Will he take me to the zoo?"
```````````````````````````
Looking For Mom
While my three-year-old grandson was attending a birthday party, his friend’s father sneaked off to take a shower before work. Halfway through, the father heard a tapping on the shower door, followed by the sight of my grandson peering in. Looking around the stall, he asked, "Is my mom in here?"
More: Kids’ Jokes
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Picture Frame
My daughter loved the picture frame her five-year-old son bought her for Mother’s Day. She found a photograph of him and replaced the cat photo that came with it. Landon became upset: "Why are you putting a picture of me in there when I bought you a picture of a cat?"
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Showing Off
My 13-year-old nephew thought his "gangsta" outfit—low-riding pants and exposed boxers—made him look cool. That is, until the day his five-year-old cousin took notice. "Nathaniel," she yelled out in front of everyone. "Your panties are showing."
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Overachievers
All parents are proud of overachieving children, and one father was no exception. The bumper sticker on his car read "My Kid Made Your License Plate."
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Hair Loss
Our friend tells everyone that he began losing his hair while serving in Vietnam. His granddaughter incorporated that information into her grade school history report on the war. She wrote, "My Grandpa went to Vietnam and got his hair shot off."
`````````````````````````
Weight Watchers
Following his motivational talk at a Weight Watchers meeting, my father noticed one client’s small son climbing onto a scale.
"Don’t go on that, Joey," warned the boy’s slightly older brother.
"It makes people cry."
Once again proving that kids say and do the darndest things.
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Good morning everyboomie.
Welcome to your lazy Sunday morning.
Right now I'm hoping I can get through my lazy Saturday night. My AC is trying to go out, and not keeping it very cool inside here. It's running non-stop, and it's 80 degrees.
There is cool air coming out of the vents, it's just not enough. It's 86 degrees outside. I turned it off for a while hoping it was just froze up. It probably just needs coolant, but that won't happen before Monday, being optimistic.
I may need to go get a fan tomorrow.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
We march to victory or we march to defeat, but we go forward — only forward.
```````````````````````
Curious Kids
Our six-year-old daughter, Terra, has a need to ask questions … lots of questions. Finally, one day, my wife had had it.
"Have you ever heard that curiosity killed the cat?" my wife asked.
"No," replied Terra.
"Well, there was a cat, and he was very inquisitive. And one day, he looked into a big hole, fell in, and died!"
Terra was intrigued: "What was in the hole?"
````````````````````
Waiting Room
I sat in the doctor’s waiting room watching a young mother try desperately to control her three loud children. "They’re not a very good advertisement, are they?" she groaned apologetically.
A man muttered, "Only if you’re advertising contraceptives."
````````````````````````
Where You Want to Be
"Where is Pearl Harbor?" I asked my fourth-grade history class. "Here’s a hint: It’s a place where everyone wants to go."
One student blurted out, "Candy Land!"
`````````````````````````
Lincoln Memorial
When my eight-year-old sister came to visit, I took a day off from my job at the Pentagon and showed her the Lincoln Memorial. There she saw a large block of text—273 words long—etched into the monument.
"What’s that?" she asked.
"Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address," I told her.
"If that’s his address, how does he get any mail?"
`````````````````````````
Kid Philosophy
I picked up my nine-year-old daughter from school and asked how her day had gone. A few minutes later, I repeated the question, and again a few minutes after that. Instead of annoyed, Ariana was philosophical.
"Mom," she said, "your amnesia is my déjà vu."
`````````````````````````
he Warning
I should have known better than to take my four-year-old son shopping with me. I spent the entire time in the mall chasing after him. Finally, I’d had it. "Do you want a stranger to take you?!" I scolded.
Thrilled, he yelled back, "Will he take me to the zoo?"
`````````````````````````
he Warning
I should have known better than to take my four-year-old son shopping with me. I spent the entire time in the mall chasing after him. Finally, I’d had it. "Do you want a stranger to take you?!" I scolded.
Thrilled, he yelled back, "Will he take me to the zoo?"
```````````````````````````
Looking For Mom
While my three-year-old grandson was attending a birthday party, his friend’s father sneaked off to take a shower before work. Halfway through, the father heard a tapping on the shower door, followed by the sight of my grandson peering in. Looking around the stall, he asked, "Is my mom in here?"
More: Kids’ Jokes
````````````````````````
Picture Frame
My daughter loved the picture frame her five-year-old son bought her for Mother’s Day. She found a photograph of him and replaced the cat photo that came with it. Landon became upset: "Why are you putting a picture of me in there when I bought you a picture of a cat?"
``````````````````````````
Showing Off
My 13-year-old nephew thought his "gangsta" outfit—low-riding pants and exposed boxers—made him look cool. That is, until the day his five-year-old cousin took notice. "Nathaniel," she yelled out in front of everyone. "Your panties are showing."
`````````````````````
Overachievers
All parents are proud of overachieving children, and one father was no exception. The bumper sticker on his car read "My Kid Made Your License Plate."
```````````````````````````
Hair Loss
Our friend tells everyone that he began losing his hair while serving in Vietnam. His granddaughter incorporated that information into her grade school history report on the war. She wrote, "My Grandpa went to Vietnam and got his hair shot off."
`````````````````````````
Weight Watchers
Following his motivational talk at a Weight Watchers meeting, my father noticed one client’s small son climbing onto a scale.
"Don’t go on that, Joey," warned the boy’s slightly older brother.
"It makes people cry."
Once again proving that kids say and do the darndest things.
`````````````````````````````
Good morning everyboomie.
Welcome to your lazy Sunday morning.
Right now I'm hoping I can get through my lazy Saturday night. My AC is trying to go out, and not keeping it very cool inside here. It's running non-stop, and it's 80 degrees.
There is cool air coming out of the vents, it's just not enough. It's 86 degrees outside. I turned it off for a while hoping it was just froze up. It probably just needs coolant, but that won't happen before Monday, being optimistic.
I may need to go get a fan tomorrow.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
That happened here just recently, so I know how you feel. Hope you are able to get it fixed soon, and that it holds out until Monday for you!
Have a great day as well.
Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Sorry to hear about your AC! Hope it's cooler for you today and that you have a stupendous Sip and Surf Sunday!
Unfortunately, my leg is really hurting from some surgery last month so I'm not enjoying it as much as I should. I have a new SSD drive in my computer and it feels like it's brand new! Hope it cools down for you soon, Joe. Would like to stay on the computer longer, but I have to go prop my leg up. Wishing a good day for you all.
Take it easy on your second shift.
It's really nice taking the train and not dealing with traffic but I don't like being bound by the train schedule. You miss a train and it's two hours for another one. Made it home and ready to play a game for a change. 
