Posted By: gymcandy1
Sip and Surf Sunday - 09/04/16 03:34 AM
Keep the dream alive; hit the snooze button!
ANONYMOUS
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One day at the office of the orthopedic specialist I work for, we had to make arrangements for an elderly patient with spinal arthritis to have a special injection. We said we would phone him with the information.
Two days later, the patient called us, concerned that he had missed our call because of his poor hearing. "I can barely hear, barely see and barely walk," he told me.
Then he added cheerfully, "Things could be worse, though. At least I can still drive."
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I managed a jewelry store years ago. One Christmas a lady came in looking for a watch as a gift for her husband. She specified that it had to have large numbers on the dial as her husband, as she said, "is blind as a bat."
I asked what her husband did. "He's a pilot."
Which airline?
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Just before Easter I remarked to my husband that, with the children grown and away from home, this was the first year that we hadn’t dyed eggs and had an Easter-egg hunt.
“That’s all right, honey,” he said. “We can just hide each other’s vitamin pills.”
`````````````````
Bob, age 92, and Mary, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. While out for a stroll to discuss the wedding they pass a drugstore. Bob suggests they go in.
Bob asks to speak to the pharmacist. He explains they’re about to get married, and asks, "Do you sell heart medication?"
"Of course we do," the pharmacist replies.
"Medicine for rheumatism?"
"Definitely," he says.
"How about Viagra?"
"Of course."
"Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?"
"Yes, the works."
"What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antacids?"
"Absolutely."
"Do you sell wheelchairs and walkers?"
"All speeds and sizes."
"Good," Bob says to the pharmacist. "We’d like to register for our wedding gifts here, please."
```````````````````````
For years my sister’s husband tried unsuccessfully to persuade her to get a hearing aid. "How much do they cost?" she asked one day after he had pitched the idea to her again.
"They’re usually about $3,000," he said.
"Okay, well, if you say something worth $3,000," she replied, "I’ll get one."
``````````````
My 60-year-old mother-in-law, completing two years of wearing orthodontic braces, was in the office having them adjusted. As she sat in one of the waiting- room chairs, the teenager next to her looked at my mother-in-law in astonishment. "Wow," he said. "How long have you been coming here?"
``````````````
My diminutive aunt Flora, just four feet, nine inches tall, accepted an offer to visit a health club for a free session. After being greeted heartily, she was shown where she could change and told an instructor would soon be with her.
Having changed her clothes, Aunt Flora went back to the exercise area. Along one wall she noticed a silver bar that was not in use, and decided to try her hand at chin-ups while she waited. She jumped up, barely reaching the bar, and managed to strain through two chin-ups before the instructor came to her side.
Smiling politely, the instructor said, "If you want to let go of the coat rack and follow me, I’ll be glad to help you get started."
``````````````````
Rock concerts are a little different now than when I was younger. Recently, I went to a concert with some friends. As the band started to play a ballad, we instinctively raised our cigarette lighters, like all good rock fans I grew up with. But looking around me, I noticed that times had indeed changed.
The mostly under-25 crowd was swaying to the upraised glow of their cell phones.
`````````````````
Checking out of the grocery store, I noticed the bag boy eyeing my two adopted children. They often draw scrutiny, since my son’s a blond Russian, while my daughter has shiny black Haitian skin.
The boy continued staring as he carried our groceries to the car. Finally he asked, "Those your kids?"
"They sure are," I said with pride.
"They adopted?"
"Yes," I replied.
"I thought so," he concluded. "I figured you’re too old to have kids that small."
```````````````````````
Good morning everyboomie.
Welcome to Sunday!
Speaking of Sunday, I had a super Saturday.
Just as soon as I got up, fixed my coffee, and was eating my breakfast, I got on line, and a friend in Tulsa comments, "Earthquake".
There was a 5.6 earthquake in Northern Oklahoma, that was felt all the way up to Nebraska, but I didn't feek as thing.
Within minutes everyone was talking about it, and a co-worker I had a Lowe's lives out here close to me, and she mentioned it almost shook her out of bed.
My first thought was what are you still doing in bed at 7:00am on a Saturday morning anyway??
My second thought was that more of my senses have gotten numb with age than I thought.
It must have been when I took Pepper's seed bowl out to replace it, and dropped it, and spilled the seed all over my floor.
That came after dropping a whole plate of spaghetti on the kitchen floor last night. Oy vey
It was much cooler this morning.
I think that is what caused the earthquake, because everyone was so shocked at the cooler temperature. It was a huge collective WOW It's cooler!
Me and the dogs had a great walk at the park, then went to Wally World and gave them the contents of my checking account, and then came home and mowed the yard.
That's it.
L4L where did you get your goat?
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
ANONYMOUS
````````````````````
One day at the office of the orthopedic specialist I work for, we had to make arrangements for an elderly patient with spinal arthritis to have a special injection. We said we would phone him with the information.
Two days later, the patient called us, concerned that he had missed our call because of his poor hearing. "I can barely hear, barely see and barely walk," he told me.
Then he added cheerfully, "Things could be worse, though. At least I can still drive."
`````````````````
I managed a jewelry store years ago. One Christmas a lady came in looking for a watch as a gift for her husband. She specified that it had to have large numbers on the dial as her husband, as she said, "is blind as a bat."
I asked what her husband did. "He's a pilot."
Which airline?
````````````````````
Just before Easter I remarked to my husband that, with the children grown and away from home, this was the first year that we hadn’t dyed eggs and had an Easter-egg hunt.
“That’s all right, honey,” he said. “We can just hide each other’s vitamin pills.”
`````````````````
Bob, age 92, and Mary, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. While out for a stroll to discuss the wedding they pass a drugstore. Bob suggests they go in.
Bob asks to speak to the pharmacist. He explains they’re about to get married, and asks, "Do you sell heart medication?"
"Of course we do," the pharmacist replies.
"Medicine for rheumatism?"
"Definitely," he says.
"How about Viagra?"
"Of course."
"Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?"
"Yes, the works."
"What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antacids?"
"Absolutely."
"Do you sell wheelchairs and walkers?"
"All speeds and sizes."
"Good," Bob says to the pharmacist. "We’d like to register for our wedding gifts here, please."
```````````````````````
For years my sister’s husband tried unsuccessfully to persuade her to get a hearing aid. "How much do they cost?" she asked one day after he had pitched the idea to her again.
"They’re usually about $3,000," he said.
"Okay, well, if you say something worth $3,000," she replied, "I’ll get one."
``````````````
My 60-year-old mother-in-law, completing two years of wearing orthodontic braces, was in the office having them adjusted. As she sat in one of the waiting- room chairs, the teenager next to her looked at my mother-in-law in astonishment. "Wow," he said. "How long have you been coming here?"
``````````````
My diminutive aunt Flora, just four feet, nine inches tall, accepted an offer to visit a health club for a free session. After being greeted heartily, she was shown where she could change and told an instructor would soon be with her.
Having changed her clothes, Aunt Flora went back to the exercise area. Along one wall she noticed a silver bar that was not in use, and decided to try her hand at chin-ups while she waited. She jumped up, barely reaching the bar, and managed to strain through two chin-ups before the instructor came to her side.
Smiling politely, the instructor said, "If you want to let go of the coat rack and follow me, I’ll be glad to help you get started."
``````````````````
Rock concerts are a little different now than when I was younger. Recently, I went to a concert with some friends. As the band started to play a ballad, we instinctively raised our cigarette lighters, like all good rock fans I grew up with. But looking around me, I noticed that times had indeed changed.
The mostly under-25 crowd was swaying to the upraised glow of their cell phones.
`````````````````
Checking out of the grocery store, I noticed the bag boy eyeing my two adopted children. They often draw scrutiny, since my son’s a blond Russian, while my daughter has shiny black Haitian skin.
The boy continued staring as he carried our groceries to the car. Finally he asked, "Those your kids?"
"They sure are," I said with pride.
"They adopted?"
"Yes," I replied.
"I thought so," he concluded. "I figured you’re too old to have kids that small."
```````````````````````
Good morning everyboomie.
Welcome to Sunday!
Speaking of Sunday, I had a super Saturday.
Just as soon as I got up, fixed my coffee, and was eating my breakfast, I got on line, and a friend in Tulsa comments, "Earthquake".
There was a 5.6 earthquake in Northern Oklahoma, that was felt all the way up to Nebraska, but I didn't feek as thing.
Within minutes everyone was talking about it, and a co-worker I had a Lowe's lives out here close to me, and she mentioned it almost shook her out of bed.
My first thought was what are you still doing in bed at 7:00am on a Saturday morning anyway??
My second thought was that more of my senses have gotten numb with age than I thought.
It must have been when I took Pepper's seed bowl out to replace it, and dropped it, and spilled the seed all over my floor.
That came after dropping a whole plate of spaghetti on the kitchen floor last night. Oy vey
It was much cooler this morning.
I think that is what caused the earthquake, because everyone was so shocked at the cooler temperature. It was a huge collective WOW It's cooler!
Me and the dogs had a great walk at the park, then went to Wally World and gave them the contents of my checking account, and then came home and mowed the yard.
That's it.
L4L where did you get your goat?
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
I meant to, but as I was in a rush getting ready to go out with my friend, I must have forgotten. I had a great day out yesterday, so today I'm going to relax and play games mostly. 
Though, of course, I do plan to get some singing practice in as well. 
Glad it is cooler there today! Here too, you can smell Fall in the air!!!
