Posted By: gymcandy1
Surf and Turf Saturday - 10/15/16 01:58 AM
It is extraordinary how extraordinary the ordinary person is.
GEORGE F. WILL
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The average age of people living in our military retirement community is 85. Recently, a neighbor turned 100, and a big birthday party was thrown. Even his son turned up.
“How old is your son?” a tenant asked.
“He's 81 years old,” he answered.
The tenant shook her head. “They sure grow up fast, don’t they?”
````````````````
Police in Tampa, Florida, raided and shut down a weekly $4-a-round mah-jongg game played by four elderly women. The Week asked its readers for titles of crime movies that could be made about this bust:
Golden Girls, Interrupted
The Lavender Hair Mob
Indicting Miss Daisy
No Country for Old Women
The Social Security Network
````````````````
As the hostess at the casino buffet showed me to my table, I asked her to keep an eye out for my husband, who would be joining me momentarily. I started to describe him: “He has gray hair, wears glasses, has a potbelly …”
She stopped me there. “Honey,” she said, “today is senior day. They all look like that.”
`````````````````
“Poor Old fool,” thought the well-dressed gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. So he invited the old man inside for a drink. As they sipped their whiskeys, the gentleman thought he’d humor the old man and asked, “So how many have you caught today?”
The old man replied, “You’re the eighth.”
`````````````
More Funny, silly, weird and sometimes even hilarious Newspaper headlines from actual newspapers.
Iraqi head seeks arms
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Two Soviet ships collide – one dies
Two sisters reunite after eighteen years at checkout counter
Never withhold herpes from loved one
Nicaragua sets goal to wipe out literacy
Drunk drivers paid $1,000 in 1984
Autos killing 110 a day, let’s resolve to do better
If strike isn’t settled quickly it may last a while
War dims hope for peace
Smokers are productive, but death cuts efficiency
Cold wave linked to temperatures
Child’s death ruins couple’s holiday
Blind woman gets new kidney from dad she hasn’t seen in years
Man is fatally slain
Something went wrong in jet crash, experts say
Death causes loneliness, feeling of isolation
British Left Waffles on Falkan Islands
```````````````
Good morning everyboomie.
Welcome to the weekend!
Here's a positive note for retail employees, and for shoppers as well. Many malls, and large retailers are staying closed on Thanksgiving this year. They've decided something most of us already knew. Opening on Thanksgiving was a turkey of an idea to begin with.
They think now that it's a good idea to give employees the time with their families, and to shift sales focus back to Black Friday.
How about that! The nasty letter I wrote did some good.
Of course it's a little bit late now that I'M RETIRED!!!
Good for my friends though, that are still in retail. I hope that all companies do away with their ridiculous early opening plans. Retail associates deserve a break.
I'll bet you though that Walmart, who started all this early shopping hours business, does not follow suit, and still opens on Thanksgiving.
I hope they have some great door buster deals.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
GEORGE F. WILL
```````````````
The average age of people living in our military retirement community is 85. Recently, a neighbor turned 100, and a big birthday party was thrown. Even his son turned up.
“How old is your son?” a tenant asked.
“He's 81 years old,” he answered.
The tenant shook her head. “They sure grow up fast, don’t they?”
````````````````
Police in Tampa, Florida, raided and shut down a weekly $4-a-round mah-jongg game played by four elderly women. The Week asked its readers for titles of crime movies that could be made about this bust:
Golden Girls, Interrupted
The Lavender Hair Mob
Indicting Miss Daisy
No Country for Old Women
The Social Security Network
````````````````
As the hostess at the casino buffet showed me to my table, I asked her to keep an eye out for my husband, who would be joining me momentarily. I started to describe him: “He has gray hair, wears glasses, has a potbelly …”
She stopped me there. “Honey,” she said, “today is senior day. They all look like that.”
`````````````````
“Poor Old fool,” thought the well-dressed gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. So he invited the old man inside for a drink. As they sipped their whiskeys, the gentleman thought he’d humor the old man and asked, “So how many have you caught today?”
The old man replied, “You’re the eighth.”
`````````````
More Funny, silly, weird and sometimes even hilarious Newspaper headlines from actual newspapers.
Iraqi head seeks arms
Queen Mary having bottom scraped
Is there a ring of debris around Uranus?
Prostitutes appeal to Pope
Page Topic: Funny Headlines
Panda mating fails – veterinarian takes over
NJ judge to rule on nude beach
Child’s stool great for use in garden
Dr. Ruth to talk about sex with newspaper editors
Soviet virgin lands short of goal again
Organ festival ends in smashing climax
Eye drops off shelf
Squad helps dog bite victim
Dealers will hear car talk at noon
Enraged cow injures farmer with ax
Lawmen from Mexico barbecue guests
Miners refuse to work after death
Two Soviet ships collide – one dies
Two sisters reunite after eighteen years at checkout counter
Never withhold herpes from loved one
Nicaragua sets goal to wipe out literacy
Drunk drivers paid $1,000 in 1984
Autos killing 110 a day, let’s resolve to do better
If strike isn’t settled quickly it may last a while
War dims hope for peace
Smokers are productive, but death cuts efficiency
Cold wave linked to temperatures
Child’s death ruins couple’s holiday
Blind woman gets new kidney from dad she hasn’t seen in years
Man is fatally slain
Something went wrong in jet crash, experts say
Death causes loneliness, feeling of isolation
British Left Waffles on Falkan Islands
```````````````
Good morning everyboomie.
Welcome to the weekend!
Here's a positive note for retail employees, and for shoppers as well. Many malls, and large retailers are staying closed on Thanksgiving this year. They've decided something most of us already knew. Opening on Thanksgiving was a turkey of an idea to begin with.
They think now that it's a good idea to give employees the time with their families, and to shift sales focus back to Black Friday.
How about that! The nasty letter I wrote did some good.
Of course it's a little bit late now that I'M RETIRED!!!
Good for my friends though, that are still in retail. I hope that all companies do away with their ridiculous early opening plans. Retail associates deserve a break.
I'll bet you though that Walmart, who started all this early shopping hours business, does not follow suit, and still opens on Thanksgiving.
I hope they have some great door buster deals.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
Good Morning Joe, MaG, Ana and all. A chilly morning here. Joe I agree stores should be closed on Thanksgiving! You can always shop on line anyway. MaG, words of wisdom! Thanks. Coffee and tea are ready. Wishing you all a Great Saturday! 
