Posted By: gymcandy1
Snowball Saturday - 12/24/16 04:27 AM
There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
Erma Bombeck
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Q: What is a lion’s favorite Christmas carol?
A: Jungle Bells.
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Q: Why did the children call St. Nick “Santa Caus”?
A: Because there was Noël.
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Q: What did the reindeer say before telling his joke?
A: This one’ll sleigh you!
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Q: What did Adam say the day before Christmas?
A: It’s Christmas, Eve!
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What does December have that other months don’t have?
The letter D.
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Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Yule log.
Yule log who?
Yule log the door after you let me in, won’t you?
``````````````
As we were putting out cookies for Santa on Christmas Eve, I accidentally dropped one. "No problem," I said, picking it up and dusting it off before placing it back on the plate.
"You can’t do that," argued my four-year-old.
"Don’t worry. Santa will never know."
He shot me a look. "So he knows if I’ve been bad or good, but he doesn’t know the cookie fell on the floor?"
````````````
My mother cast one of her students as the innkeeper for the Christmas pageant. All the third grader had to do was tell Joseph, “There is no room at the inn.”
But during the performance—after Joseph begged for a room for his pregnant wife—the boy didn’t have the heart to turn him down.
“Well,” he said, “if it’s so urgent, come on in.”
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A teenager waltzed into our jewelry store to buy a cross for her boyfriend. I showed her a selection, and she pointed to three: "Can I see that one, that one, and the one with the little man on it?"
"Oh," I replied. "You mean Jesus?"
````````````````
Spotted outside a church in Michigan: "Honk if you love Jesus. Keep on texting while you drive if you want to meet him."
````````````
My wife took our three-year-old to church for the first time. Getting impatient while waiting for the Mass to start, he turned to her and asked, "What time does Jesus get here?"
````````````````````
Just as I began my Christmas Eve service, the electricity in the church failed. The ushers and I found some candles and placed them around the sanctuary. Then I reentered the pulpit, shuffled my notes, and muttered, “Now, where was I?”
A tired voice called out, “Right near the end!”
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Good morning everyboomie.
We were late getting back from Dallas. Traffic was the nightmare before Christmas.
I still have to get a shower. My shirt is sticking to me.
I hope you all have a Cheery Christmas Eve.
joe
Erma Bombeck
```````````````
Q: What is a lion’s favorite Christmas carol?
A: Jungle Bells.
``````````````
Q: Why did the children call St. Nick “Santa Caus”?
A: Because there was Noël.
```````````
Q: What did the reindeer say before telling his joke?
A: This one’ll sleigh you!
``````````
Q: What did Adam say the day before Christmas?
A: It’s Christmas, Eve!
```````````
What does December have that other months don’t have?
The letter D.
```````````
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Yule log.
Yule log who?
Yule log the door after you let me in, won’t you?
``````````````
As we were putting out cookies for Santa on Christmas Eve, I accidentally dropped one. "No problem," I said, picking it up and dusting it off before placing it back on the plate.
"You can’t do that," argued my four-year-old.
"Don’t worry. Santa will never know."
He shot me a look. "So he knows if I’ve been bad or good, but he doesn’t know the cookie fell on the floor?"
````````````
My mother cast one of her students as the innkeeper for the Christmas pageant. All the third grader had to do was tell Joseph, “There is no room at the inn.”
But during the performance—after Joseph begged for a room for his pregnant wife—the boy didn’t have the heart to turn him down.
“Well,” he said, “if it’s so urgent, come on in.”
``````````````````
A teenager waltzed into our jewelry store to buy a cross for her boyfriend. I showed her a selection, and she pointed to three: "Can I see that one, that one, and the one with the little man on it?"
"Oh," I replied. "You mean Jesus?"
````````````````
Spotted outside a church in Michigan: "Honk if you love Jesus. Keep on texting while you drive if you want to meet him."
````````````
My wife took our three-year-old to church for the first time. Getting impatient while waiting for the Mass to start, he turned to her and asked, "What time does Jesus get here?"
````````````````````
Just as I began my Christmas Eve service, the electricity in the church failed. The ushers and I found some candles and placed them around the sanctuary. Then I reentered the pulpit, shuffled my notes, and muttered, “Now, where was I?”
A tired voice called out, “Right near the end!”
`````````````
Good morning everyboomie.
We were late getting back from Dallas. Traffic was the nightmare before Christmas.
I still have to get a shower. My shirt is sticking to me.
I hope you all have a Cheery Christmas Eve.
joe
Good Morning and Happy Christmas Eve Joe, Ana and everyone. Coffee, tea, hot chocolate are ready along with homemade Christmas cookies and warm fresh from the oven cinnamon buns! Enjoy your day! 
they provide a parka for you to wear. I will host the family Christmas Party tomorrow. 
Danish, BB Pancakes, French Toast, and Bacon Sandwiches in the NC. 
to you and your families 
