Posted By: gymcandy1
Thump Day - 01/19/17 03:25 AM
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
ROBERT BLOCH
`````````````````
Number of the Beast
OK, we all know that 666 is the number of the Beast, but did you know that...
670 - Approximate number of the Beast
DCLXVI - Roman numeral of the Beast
666.0000000 - Number of the High Precision Beast
665.9999954 - Number of the Pentium Beast
0.666 - Number of the Millibeast
/666 - Beast Common Denominator
666 x sq. rt (-1) - Imaginary number of the Beast
1010011010 - Binary of the Beast 6
1-666 - Area code of the Beast
00666 - Zip code of the Beast
1-900-666-0666 - Live Beasts! One-on-one pacts! Call Now! Only $6.66/minute.
Over 18 only please.
$665.95 - Retail price of the Beast
$699.25 - Price of the Beast plus 5% state sales tax
$769.95 - Price of the Beast with all accessories and replacement soul
$606.66 - Wal-Mart price of the Beast
$566.66 - Costco/Price Club price of the Beast
Phillips 666 - Gasoline of the Beast
Route 666 - Way of the Beast
666 F - Oven temperature for roast Beast
666k - Retirement plan of the Beast
666 mg - Recommended Minimum Daily Requirement of Beast
6.66 % - 5 year CD interest rate at First Beast of Hell National Bank, $666 -minimum deposit.
Lotus 6-6-6 - Spreadsheet of the Beast
Word 6.66 - Word Processor of the Beast
i66686 - CPU of the Beast
666i - BMW of the Beast
DSM-666 (revised) - Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the Beast
668 - Next-door neighbor of the Beast
- Number of the Blonde Beast
uh... what was that number again?
`````````````````
Office Humor
The longer you're part of the corporate work force, the more humorous this area becomes.
Best Things to say if Caught Sleeping At Your Desk...
"They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
"This is just a 15 minute power-nap as described in that time management course you sent me."
"Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-Out You probably got here just in time!"
"I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm."
"I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance."
"I was doing Yoga exercises to relieve work-related stress."
"[blip]! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."
"The coffee machine is broken..."
"Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot..."
" ... in Jesus' name. Amen."
You know you work in Corporate America in the 90's if...
You sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies.
You worked for the same company for 4 years and sat at more than 10 different desks.
You've been in the same job for 4 years and have had 10 different managers.
You order your business cards in "half orders" instead of whole boxes.
When someone asks about what you do for a living, you can't explain it in one sentence.
You get really excited about a 2% pay raise.
You use acronyms in your sentences.
Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose your best jokes.
You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet.
It's dark when you drive to and from work.
Fun is when issues are assigned to someone else.
The word "opportunity" makes you shiver in fear.
You see a good looking person and know it is a visitor.
Free food left over from meetings is your main staple.
Weekends are those days your significant other makes you stay home.
Being sick is defined as can't walk or you're in the hospital.
Art involves a white board.
You're already late on the assignment you just got.
Dilbert cartoons hang outside every cube and are read by your co-workers only.
Your boss' favorite lines are "when you get a few minutes" or "when you're freed up".
You read this entire list and understood it.
After a 2 year study, the National Science Foundation announced the following results on the American Male's recreational preferences:
1. The sport of choice for unemployed or incarcerated people is: basketball
2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is: bowling.
3. The sport of choice for blue-collar workers is: football.
4. The sport of choice for supervisors is: baseball.
5. The sport of choice for middle management is: tennis.
6. The sport of choice for corporate officers is: golf.
Conclusion: The higher you rise in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.
A doctor, a lawyer, and a manager were discussing the relative merits of having a wife or a mistress.
The lawyer says, "For sure a mistress is better. If you have a wife and want a divorce, it causes all sorts of legal problems."
The doctor says, "It's better to have a wife because the sense of security lowers your stress and is good for your health."
The manager says, "You're both wrong. It's best to have both so that when the wife thinks you're with the mistress, and the mistress thinks you're with your wife - you can go to the office and do some work."
``````````````````
Good morning everyboomie.
Welcome to the day after the day before Thursday.
I've been fairly non-busy today. It was very overcast and cool, and I didn't go out anywhere.
It's in the 60s for the next three days. The weather swamy says 66 degrees tomorrow, 71 on Friday.
I did exercise today. I did 200 reps lifting my spoon from my plate to my mouth.
My right arm is looking pret-ty buff.
I've just been watching a show on how to lighten age spots. I tried it on myself and I guess it works. I just looked in the mirror and I had no reflection.
There could be another reason for that though.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
ROBERT BLOCH
`````````````````
Number of the Beast
OK, we all know that 666 is the number of the Beast, but did you know that...
670 - Approximate number of the Beast
DCLXVI - Roman numeral of the Beast
666.0000000 - Number of the High Precision Beast
665.9999954 - Number of the Pentium Beast
0.666 - Number of the Millibeast
/666 - Beast Common Denominator
666 x sq. rt (-1) - Imaginary number of the Beast
1010011010 - Binary of the Beast 6
1-666 - Area code of the Beast
00666 - Zip code of the Beast
1-900-666-0666 - Live Beasts! One-on-one pacts! Call Now! Only $6.66/minute.
Over 18 only please.
$665.95 - Retail price of the Beast
$699.25 - Price of the Beast plus 5% state sales tax
$769.95 - Price of the Beast with all accessories and replacement soul
$606.66 - Wal-Mart price of the Beast
$566.66 - Costco/Price Club price of the Beast
Phillips 666 - Gasoline of the Beast
Route 666 - Way of the Beast
666 F - Oven temperature for roast Beast
666k - Retirement plan of the Beast
666 mg - Recommended Minimum Daily Requirement of Beast
6.66 % - 5 year CD interest rate at First Beast of Hell National Bank, $666 -minimum deposit.
Lotus 6-6-6 - Spreadsheet of the Beast
Word 6.66 - Word Processor of the Beast
i66686 - CPU of the Beast
666i - BMW of the Beast
DSM-666 (revised) - Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the Beast
668 - Next-door neighbor of the Beast
- Number of the Blonde Beast
uh... what was that number again?
`````````````````
Office Humor
The longer you're part of the corporate work force, the more humorous this area becomes.
Best Things to say if Caught Sleeping At Your Desk...
"They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
"This is just a 15 minute power-nap as described in that time management course you sent me."
"Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-Out You probably got here just in time!"
"I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm."
"I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance."
"I was doing Yoga exercises to relieve work-related stress."
"[blip]! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."
"The coffee machine is broken..."
"Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot..."
" ... in Jesus' name. Amen."
You know you work in Corporate America in the 90's if...
You sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies.
You worked for the same company for 4 years and sat at more than 10 different desks.
You've been in the same job for 4 years and have had 10 different managers.
You order your business cards in "half orders" instead of whole boxes.
When someone asks about what you do for a living, you can't explain it in one sentence.
You get really excited about a 2% pay raise.
You use acronyms in your sentences.
Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose your best jokes.
You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet.
It's dark when you drive to and from work.
Fun is when issues are assigned to someone else.
The word "opportunity" makes you shiver in fear.
You see a good looking person and know it is a visitor.
Free food left over from meetings is your main staple.
Weekends are those days your significant other makes you stay home.
Being sick is defined as can't walk or you're in the hospital.
Art involves a white board.
You're already late on the assignment you just got.
Dilbert cartoons hang outside every cube and are read by your co-workers only.
Your boss' favorite lines are "when you get a few minutes" or "when you're freed up".
You read this entire list and understood it.
After a 2 year study, the National Science Foundation announced the following results on the American Male's recreational preferences:
1. The sport of choice for unemployed or incarcerated people is: basketball
2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is: bowling.
3. The sport of choice for blue-collar workers is: football.
4. The sport of choice for supervisors is: baseball.
5. The sport of choice for middle management is: tennis.
6. The sport of choice for corporate officers is: golf.
Conclusion: The higher you rise in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.
A doctor, a lawyer, and a manager were discussing the relative merits of having a wife or a mistress.
The lawyer says, "For sure a mistress is better. If you have a wife and want a divorce, it causes all sorts of legal problems."
The doctor says, "It's better to have a wife because the sense of security lowers your stress and is good for your health."
The manager says, "You're both wrong. It's best to have both so that when the wife thinks you're with the mistress, and the mistress thinks you're with your wife - you can go to the office and do some work."
``````````````````
Good morning everyboomie.
Welcome to the day after the day before Thursday.
I've been fairly non-busy today. It was very overcast and cool, and I didn't go out anywhere.
It's in the 60s for the next three days. The weather swamy says 66 degrees tomorrow, 71 on Friday.
I did exercise today. I did 200 reps lifting my spoon from my plate to my mouth.
My right arm is looking pret-ty buff.
I've just been watching a show on how to lighten age spots. I tried it on myself and I guess it works. I just looked in the mirror and I had no reflection.
There could be another reason for that though.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
Good Morning Joe, Ana, Haroula and everyone. Coffee, tea and hot chocolate are ready for you all. Enjoy your day everyone! 
I should have stayed in bed!
