Posted By: gymcandy1
Thursday's - 06/08/17 03:35 AM
MOHANDAS KARAMCHAND GANDHI
An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind.
```````````
There are four tourists from India who are visiting London. They go to see the Big Ben. They all climb up the tower and decide to throw their wrist watches from the top, then hurry down the stairs and try to catch them before they hit the ground.
The first tourist, Amar, threw his watch but heard it crash before the had taken four steps.
The second tourist, Vinod, threw his watch and had hardly taken three before when he heard his watch shatter.
The third tourist, Harry, threw his watch and by the time he had taken two steps, the watch hit the ground.
The fourth tourist, Santa Singh, threw his watch off the tower, went down the stairs, bought a cup of coffee from a shop down the street and walked slowly back to Big Ben in time to catch the watch.
"How on earth did you do that?" asked all his friends.
"Simple", Santa Singh replied, "My watch is slow by 30 minutes."
`````````````
Joey, a farmer from the country, went to the big bad city to see the sights.
He inquired with the hotel's clerk about the time of meals.
"Breakfast is served from 7 to 10, lunch from 12 to 3, and dinner from 6 to 8," explained the clerk.
"Look here," inquired Joey in surprise, "When will I get time to explore the city?"
``````````````
On entering a lab, if you see an experiment, how will you determine which class it pertains to?
The answer is simple:
If it is green and wiggles, it has to be Biology.
If it stinks, it has to be Chemistry.
If it doesn't work, then you know it's Physics.
````````````
An economist had finished his day at work and was leaving for home, when he noticed a small boy call out to him from the footpath where he was sitting with a dog. The boy said, "Sir, would you like to buy a dog."
The economist was surprised by the approach, but asked nevertheless, "How much are you selling the dog for?"
The boy replied "Twenty thousand dollars."
"Twenty thousand dollars for this dog!" the economist exclaimed. "Does he know any special tricks to make him worth so much money?"
The boy replied, "Sir, this dog never made a dime in his life. If you take into consideration the expenses on his food, I think you will lose money on him every year."
The economist did not want to let go the opportunity to lecture the boy about the principles of economics and explained to him the fact that a commodity needed to yield more returns than it consumed to equal a purchase price. He finished by saying that the five dollars could be the maximum sum that should be expected for the dog, that too from somebody who just wanted a companion. Feeling satisfied with the knowledge that he had imparted to the young boy, the economist went away.
A few days later, the economist again noticed the small boy was again sitting on the footpath but this time there was no dog in sight. He asked the boy, "Did you get the five dollars for your dog?"
The boy said, "No, I got twenty thousand dollars for him."
The business man was stunned. "How on earth did you get twenty thousand dollars for that dog?" he asked.
"It was a piece of cake," replied the boy. "I traded him for two ten thousand dollar cats."
```````````````
Do you know Psychology is actually Biology.
Do you know Biology is actually Chemistry.
Do you know Chemistry is actually Physics.
Do you know Physics is actually Math.
If you understand it and able to prove it, then publish it in a periodical/magazine of Mathematics.
If you understand it, but unable to prove it, then publish in a periodical/magazine of Physics.
If you cannot understand it, but are able to prove it, then publish it in a periodical/magazine of Economics.
If you can neither understand it nor are able to prove it, then publish it in a periodical/magazine of Psychology.
````````````````
Bob and Robbie were riding their snow bikes across the lake. All of a sudden Bob broke through the ice and sank with his bike.
Robbie went to the edge of the ice hole and saw Bob desperately pulling the starting rope.
Robbie shouted: “Hey Bob, open the choke and then pull.
```````````````
Rob and Bill both went to work for a lumber mill. They both worked on the band saw. One day while working and talking to Bill, Rob bent too close to saw and the blade sliced one of his ears off. Bill immediately picked up the sliced ear with intention of being helpful to Rob.
He said: “Rob, don’t panic. See I have your ear here. It may be possible for the doctor to sew it back.”
Rob: “You fool, that’s not mine. My ear had a pencil behind it.”
`````````````
Q: What's the difference between a pit bull and a hockey mom?
A: One nurtures its children, the other sends them out to play on a frozen lake.
````````````
A Swede man goes to a lumber yard to buy some lumbers of eight feet length in particular.
The salesman of the yard asked the Swede: “How long do you want them?”
The Swede: “Quite a long time, you see, I am building a house.”
```````````
A dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the counter. Fortunately, the butcher recognized the dog as belonging to a neighbor of his. The neighbor happened to be a lawyer.
Incensed at the theft, the butcher called up his neighbor and said, "Hey, if your dog stole a roast from my butcher shop, would you be liable for the cost of the meat?" The lawyer replied, "Of course, how much was the roast?" "$7.98."
A few days later the butcher received a check in the mail for $7.98. Attached to it was an invoice that read: Legal Consultation Service: $150 .
```````````
Good morning everyboomie.
I've had a busy day, and I'm running quite late.
I was out at the sod farm before 8:00, and stayed until 12:00. I was quite worn out by then. I found two points, and some other pieces.
I have people coming to install gutters on my house tomorrow.
My sleeping pills are kicking in, so I'm gonna shut her down.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind.
```````````
There are four tourists from India who are visiting London. They go to see the Big Ben. They all climb up the tower and decide to throw their wrist watches from the top, then hurry down the stairs and try to catch them before they hit the ground.
The first tourist, Amar, threw his watch but heard it crash before the had taken four steps.
The second tourist, Vinod, threw his watch and had hardly taken three before when he heard his watch shatter.
The third tourist, Harry, threw his watch and by the time he had taken two steps, the watch hit the ground.
The fourth tourist, Santa Singh, threw his watch off the tower, went down the stairs, bought a cup of coffee from a shop down the street and walked slowly back to Big Ben in time to catch the watch.
"How on earth did you do that?" asked all his friends.
"Simple", Santa Singh replied, "My watch is slow by 30 minutes."
`````````````
Joey, a farmer from the country, went to the big bad city to see the sights.
He inquired with the hotel's clerk about the time of meals.
"Breakfast is served from 7 to 10, lunch from 12 to 3, and dinner from 6 to 8," explained the clerk.
"Look here," inquired Joey in surprise, "When will I get time to explore the city?"
``````````````
On entering a lab, if you see an experiment, how will you determine which class it pertains to?
The answer is simple:
If it is green and wiggles, it has to be Biology.
If it stinks, it has to be Chemistry.
If it doesn't work, then you know it's Physics.
````````````
An economist had finished his day at work and was leaving for home, when he noticed a small boy call out to him from the footpath where he was sitting with a dog. The boy said, "Sir, would you like to buy a dog."
The economist was surprised by the approach, but asked nevertheless, "How much are you selling the dog for?"
The boy replied "Twenty thousand dollars."
"Twenty thousand dollars for this dog!" the economist exclaimed. "Does he know any special tricks to make him worth so much money?"
The boy replied, "Sir, this dog never made a dime in his life. If you take into consideration the expenses on his food, I think you will lose money on him every year."
The economist did not want to let go the opportunity to lecture the boy about the principles of economics and explained to him the fact that a commodity needed to yield more returns than it consumed to equal a purchase price. He finished by saying that the five dollars could be the maximum sum that should be expected for the dog, that too from somebody who just wanted a companion. Feeling satisfied with the knowledge that he had imparted to the young boy, the economist went away.
A few days later, the economist again noticed the small boy was again sitting on the footpath but this time there was no dog in sight. He asked the boy, "Did you get the five dollars for your dog?"
The boy said, "No, I got twenty thousand dollars for him."
The business man was stunned. "How on earth did you get twenty thousand dollars for that dog?" he asked.
"It was a piece of cake," replied the boy. "I traded him for two ten thousand dollar cats."
```````````````
Do you know Psychology is actually Biology.
Do you know Biology is actually Chemistry.
Do you know Chemistry is actually Physics.
Do you know Physics is actually Math.
If you understand it and able to prove it, then publish it in a periodical/magazine of Mathematics.
If you understand it, but unable to prove it, then publish in a periodical/magazine of Physics.
If you cannot understand it, but are able to prove it, then publish it in a periodical/magazine of Economics.
If you can neither understand it nor are able to prove it, then publish it in a periodical/magazine of Psychology.
````````````````
Bob and Robbie were riding their snow bikes across the lake. All of a sudden Bob broke through the ice and sank with his bike.
Robbie went to the edge of the ice hole and saw Bob desperately pulling the starting rope.
Robbie shouted: “Hey Bob, open the choke and then pull.
```````````````
Rob and Bill both went to work for a lumber mill. They both worked on the band saw. One day while working and talking to Bill, Rob bent too close to saw and the blade sliced one of his ears off. Bill immediately picked up the sliced ear with intention of being helpful to Rob.
He said: “Rob, don’t panic. See I have your ear here. It may be possible for the doctor to sew it back.”
Rob: “You fool, that’s not mine. My ear had a pencil behind it.”
`````````````
Q: What's the difference between a pit bull and a hockey mom?
A: One nurtures its children, the other sends them out to play on a frozen lake.
````````````
A Swede man goes to a lumber yard to buy some lumbers of eight feet length in particular.
The salesman of the yard asked the Swede: “How long do you want them?”
The Swede: “Quite a long time, you see, I am building a house.”
```````````
A dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the counter. Fortunately, the butcher recognized the dog as belonging to a neighbor of his. The neighbor happened to be a lawyer.
Incensed at the theft, the butcher called up his neighbor and said, "Hey, if your dog stole a roast from my butcher shop, would you be liable for the cost of the meat?" The lawyer replied, "Of course, how much was the roast?" "$7.98."
A few days later the butcher received a check in the mail for $7.98. Attached to it was an invoice that read: Legal Consultation Service: $150 .
```````````
Good morning everyboomie.
I've had a busy day, and I'm running quite late.
I was out at the sod farm before 8:00, and stayed until 12:00. I was quite worn out by then. I found two points, and some other pieces.
I have people coming to install gutters on my house tomorrow.
My sleeping pills are kicking in, so I'm gonna shut her down.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
Sweet dreams...
I think I've given up on actually getting to sleep early for a change. 
looney. I hope you come back strong for the weekend.