Posted by: gymcandy1

Saturdiner - 10/27/17 09:13 PM

May Jack-o-lanterns burning bright
Of soft and golden hue
Pierce through the future's veil and show
What fate now holds for you.
By goblins of the cornfield stark
By witches dancing on the green
By pumpkins grinning in the dark
I wish you luck this Hallowe'en.

~Postcard from the early 1900s


Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms.
Smith stopped to gently reprove the child.

Smiling sweetly, the Sunday School teacher said, Johnny, when I was a
child, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would
stay like that.

Johnny looked up and replied, Well, Ms. Smith, you cant say you werent


Two kids are arguing over whose father is the biggest scaredy-cat.

The first kid says, "My dad is so scared that when lightning strikes,
he hides underneath the bed."

The second kid replies,"Yeah? Well, that's nothing. My dad is so
scared that when my mom has to work the nightshift, he sleeps with
the lady next door."


A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter:

Mother: "What does the cow say?"
Child: "Moo!"

Mother: "Great! What does the cat say?"
Child: "Meow."

Mother: "Oh, you're so smart! What does the frog say?"
And this wide-eyed little 3 yr. old looked up at her mother and in her deepest voice replied,


One day at the end of class little Billy's teacher has the class go home

and think of a story and then conclude the moral of that story.

The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer

to tell a story. Suzy said, "Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the

truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday

we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the

road." The teacher asks for the moral of the story. Suzy replies,

"Don't keep all your eggs in one basket."

Next is little Lucy. "Well, my dad owns a farm too and every weekend we

take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend only

8 of the 12 eggs hatched." The teacher asks for the moral of the story.

Lucy replies "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched."

Last is little Billy. "My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam war; his plane

was shot down over enemy territory. He jumped out before it crashed with

only a case of beer, a machine gun and a machete. On the way down he

drank the case of beer. Unfortunately, he landed right in the middle of

100 Vietnamese soldiers. He shot 70 with his machine gun but ran out of

bullets, so he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more. The blade on

his machete broke, so he killed the last ten with his bare hands".

The teacher looks in shock at Billy and asks if there is possibly any

moral to his story. Billy replies, "Don't mess with uncle Ted when he's been drinking."


A mother, accompanied by her small daughter, was in New York City. The mother was trying to hail a cab, when her daughter noticed several wildly dressed women who were loitering on a nearby street corner.

The mother finally hailed her cab and they both climbed in, at which point the young daughter asks her mother, "Mommy, what are all those ladies waiting for by that corner?"

The mother replies, "Those ladies are waiting for their husbands to come by and pick them up on the way home from work."

The cabby, upon hearing this exchange, turns to the mother and says, "Ah, C'mon lady! Tell your daughter the truth! For crying out loud...They're hookers!"

A brief period of silence follows, and the daughter then asks, "Mommy, do the hooker ladies have any children?"

The mother replies, "Of course, Dear. Where do you think cabbies come from?"


A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks was having trouble with one of her students.

The teacher asked, "Harry what is your problem?" Harry answered, "I'm too

smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third -grade and I'm smarter

than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"

Ms Brooks had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry

waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the
situation was.

The principal told Ms Brooks he would give the boy a test and if he failed
to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and


She agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed

to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

Harry: "9".

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"

Harry: "36".

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade
should know.

The principal looks at Ms Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to
the third-grade."

Ms Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions?" The
principal and Harry both agree.

Ms Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?

"Harry, after a moment "Legs."

Ms Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"

Harry: "Pockets."

Ms Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"

Harry: "Pants"

Ms Brooks: What's a start with a C and ends with a T is hairy, oval, and

delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?

Harry: Coconut

Ms Brooks: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer,

Harry was taking charge.

Harry: Bubblegum

Ms Brooks: What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a
dog do on three legs?

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer.

Harry: Shake hands

Ms Brooks: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?

Harry: Yep.

Ms Brooks: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I
get wet before you do.

Harry: Tent

Ms Brooks: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The
best man always has me first.

The Principal was looking restless and a bit tense.

Harry: Wedding Ring

Ms Brooks: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow
me, you feel good.

Harry: Nose

Ms Brooks: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.

Harry: Arrow

Ms Brooks: What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of

heat and excitement?

Harry: Fire truck

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last ten questions wrong myself."


Good morning everyboomie. wave2

Welcome to the weekend! yay

What a difference a day makes. We went straight from Summer to Winter. 84 degrees yesterday, 50 degrees and Burrrreezy today. Shorts and tank top yesterday, sweats and layers of tops today. grin

We have our first freeze tonight. smirk

What happened to fall ???

Ah well, the heat has gone away, and I'm happy about that. thumbsup

There's football this weekend, and I'm happy bout that. hamster

Sol good then. razz

Have a happy day everyone.

Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Saturdiner - 10/27/17 10:51 PM

Joe, really cold here today too! I have a cruise on the lake tomorrow night and we may have snow flurries. I may need another costume, like a polar bear! lol

Have a happy day all!

Ana wave
Posted by: MsMercury

Re: Saturdiner - 10/28/17 03:42 AM

Hi Boomers, hoping this finds you well and wishing you all a great day!

Thanks for the laughs Joe!

Enjoy your cruise Ana! Hope your migraine has gone now!

Been up since the wee small hours. it's going to be a long day.

Take care all!

Mary hearts wavegirl
Posted by: Kaki's Sister

Re: Saturdiner - 10/28/17 04:48 AM

fall Good Morning Joe, Ana, Mary and all. Joe stay warm! Ana sounds like fun! Mary hope all is well with you. I miss you here!
coffee , tea and hot chocolate are ready.
Wishing you all a happy day! fall
Posted by: Taintedfury

Re: Saturdiner - 10/28/17 05:28 AM

Hi Joe enjoy your football and have a great day, Hi Ana have a great one and stay warm, Hi Kaki' Sister having a cuppa tea hope your drinking yours too and MsMercury get some rest when you can.

Bye all..going to play a game now..
Posted by: GBC

Re: Saturdiner - 10/28/17 06:29 AM

Good Morning Boomers fall

Joe, enjoy your football and your cooler weather.

Ana, wishing you a wonderful day.

Mary, enjoy whatever the day brings today.

Gerry, coffee please and thank you.

Taintedfury, enjoy your game and have a great day.

Wishing a wonderful day to everyone here and everyone on their way. lab
Posted by: connie

Re: Saturdiner - 10/28/17 07:20 AM

Good morning everyone, have a Great Saturday. Well tonight is the Halloween Party at the Eagles. witch bat ghost We shall see how all our hard work went. I'm looking forward to it, but am anxious too. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, BB Pancakes, and French Toast in the NC. zombie
Posted by: soot

Re: Saturdiner - 10/28/17 10:15 AM

Good morning Joe Ana Ms Mary Gerry TaintedFury Gail and Connie

Happy Saturday

Chores for me, maybe a project for me later today if the rain stops

Joe...was the game good last night?

Ana...have fun on your cruise tonight and stay warm

Mary...have a wonderful day...hope it's not long and that you sleep better tonight

I'll have a cup of tea Gerry...and then a cup of hot chocolate when I go

woot have fun gaming TaintedFury and sleep good tonight

Have a great day Gail

Have fun at the party Connie...I'll have grits and hash browns please

Good morning L4L when you're up and at em hearts

See you all later

Posted by: Sorta Blonde

Re: Saturdiner - 10/28/17 11:30 AM

Got up 'early', fed all the Outdoorsies (yep the little kitten appeared again and I got to pet it), waiting for the YARD guys to come. It was sort of up in the air when the dad left and said, 'we can probably do it this weekend, early'. So far no other communication since last Sunday. I'm beginning to wonder if dad decided the job wasn't for them. Its 8:30 already and not a peep from anyone about them coming to work. Hope I don't have to sit home 2 days waiting for them maybe to show up. Ugh.

Tired...ha. Maybe I'll take a nap while I wait.
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Saturdiner - 10/28/17 12:04 PM

Super Saturday ya'll puppy

It's a wee bit least in my shorts and t-shirt. I should probably go put on socks and then I'm sure I'd be warm enough.

Hubby heading out to do errands. Son has work. Cully is going to work with dad while Per stays here.

If it stops raining, we will most likely get the doggies out for a walk except for Keoki. He was limping on his front left leg yesterday so I'm thinking I want to let him rest today to see if that gets better.

Joe, enjoy the football. I'm happy the heat has gone away too.

Ana, you need the costume son brought home...Full body wookie..way too hot for here.

Mary, hope it's a fun day if it must be a long one.

Gerry, I'm heading for the hot chocolate. Thanks

Have fun with your game, Tainted.

Gail, what's up for you?

luck Connie

Soot kissy

Sorta, I hate when folks aren't specific and you are left to just hang out and see if they show up.
Posted by: MsMercury

Re: Saturdiner - 10/28/17 01:40 PM

Hiya Gerry, Taintedfury, Gail, connie, soot, Sorta and L4L!

Hope you're all having a great day! L4L, hope Keoki gets better soon.

Aww Sorta, hope they don't let you down! luck

Had a short nap this afternoon, not too long as I hope to sleep tonight, and just chilled out with hubby the rest of the day.

Enjoy the rest of your day guys!

Mary hearts wavegirl
Posted by: soot

Re: Saturdiner - 10/28/17 04:03 PM

Naps are pure goodness Sorta; hope your workers come

Hey Ho Ms Mary .. sleep good tonight!

Wet n' rainy day today...hope it stops later so we can get a walk in today with the gang.

Off to garden while enjoying my whale music

Posted by: Taintedfury

Re: Saturdiner - 10/29/17 08:05 AM

thanks Soot, Sorta blonde, looney, GBC and connie -i'm going for a rest now and Tv so all boomers enjoy your day. wavegirl