Posted By: gymcandy1
Tuesday's - 02/13/18 02:40 AM
When you can't make them see the light, make them feel the heat.
~Ronald Reagan~
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On the day I received my learner’s permit, my father agreed to take me out for a driving lesson. With a big grin, he hopped in behind the driver’s seat. “Why aren’t you sitting up front on the passenger’s side?” I asked.
“Kirsten, I’ve been waiting for this ever since you were a little girl,” Dad replied. “Now it’s my turn to sit back here and kick the seat.”
`````````
While flying from Denver to Kansas City, Kansas, my mother was sitting across the aisle from a woman and her eight-year-old son. Mom couldn’t help laughing as they neared their destination and she heard the mother say to the boy, “Now remember — run to Dad first, then the dog.”
``````````
My husband’s cousin married a former Marine who now works for United Parcel Service. They bought their four-year-old son two stuffed bears — one in a UPS uniform and the other in Marine garb. When the boy seemed confused, his father brought out a picture of himself in full Marine dress. “See, Connor?” he explained, pointing to the photo and then to the bear. “That’s Daddy.”
Connor’s eyes went from one to the other, and then he asked in a puzzled voice, “You used to be a bear?”
````````````
Father’s Day was near when I brought my three-year-old son, Tyler, to the card store. Inside, I showed him the cards for dads and told him to pick one.
When I looked back, Tyler was picking up one card after another, opening them up and quickly shoving them back into slots, every which way. “Tyler, what are you doing?” I asked.
“Haven’t you found a nice card for Daddy yet?”
“No,” he replied. “I’m looking for one with money in it.”
``````````
I decided to make myself useful and do a load of the family laundry. When I took the clothes out of the machine, I discovered — to my dismay — that I had also washed the watch my wife had given me while we were dating. “Don’t expect me to replace it,” she said later with an obvious lack of sympathy. By the time Father’s Day rolled around, however, she had relented and gave me a beautiful new watch. Attached was a note with this stipulation: “DRY-CLEAN ONLY!”
`````````
Our Gen-X daughter, Cristie, made my husband a Father’s Day card entitled “Things My Dad Would Never Say.” Such as:
“Can you turn up that music?”
“Go ahead and take my truck. Here’s 50 bucks for gas.”
“I LOVE your tattoo. We should both get new ones.”
“Here, you take the remote.”
``````````
Before I took the old family car to college, my father loaded the trunk with soft-drink bottles filled with oil, coolant and transmission fluid. Sure enough, my car overheated. Scolding myself for not listening to my father’s instructions, I looked at the engine and saw how well he knew me. The oil cap was labeled Dr Pepper, the transmission stick, Coke, and the empty coolant container, Diet Pepsi. I finished the trip safely.
```````````
My 16-year-old brother, Ryan, was out late with friends one night. Suddenly he realized it was Father’s Day and he had neglected to buy a card for our dad. After much searching, Ryan located an open store, but was disappointed to find only two cards left on a picked-over rack. Selecting one, he brought it home and, somewhat sheepishly, presented it to our father.
Upon opening it, Dad read this message: “You’ve been like a father to me.” He looked at Ryan, puzzled.
“Well, Dad,” Ryan tried to explain, “it was either that or the card that said, ‘Now that I’m a father too!’”
````````````
I gave my father $100 and said, “Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.” So he went out and bought a present for my mother.
````````
I got all my looks from my father. Especially the look of disappointment.
```````````
A neighbor finds a young boy sitting on the stairs crying. “What's the matter, honey?” she asks him.
“It's my father,” the boy says, sobbing. “He hit his finger with a hammer.”
“Then why are you crying?” she says.
“Because first I laughed!” he answers.
```````````
Good morning everyboomie.
My kids never gave me a card with money in it.
I should be getting one from Uncle Sam soon though. I filed my tax return today.
I plan on buying a box of tooth pics when I get it.
It's either that or pull all of my teeth out, and I prefer not to do that.
We are going to be 43 degrees here today, but 64 on Wednesday, and 69 on Thursday.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
~Ronald Reagan~
```````````````
On the day I received my learner’s permit, my father agreed to take me out for a driving lesson. With a big grin, he hopped in behind the driver’s seat. “Why aren’t you sitting up front on the passenger’s side?” I asked.
“Kirsten, I’ve been waiting for this ever since you were a little girl,” Dad replied. “Now it’s my turn to sit back here and kick the seat.”
`````````
While flying from Denver to Kansas City, Kansas, my mother was sitting across the aisle from a woman and her eight-year-old son. Mom couldn’t help laughing as they neared their destination and she heard the mother say to the boy, “Now remember — run to Dad first, then the dog.”
``````````
My husband’s cousin married a former Marine who now works for United Parcel Service. They bought their four-year-old son two stuffed bears — one in a UPS uniform and the other in Marine garb. When the boy seemed confused, his father brought out a picture of himself in full Marine dress. “See, Connor?” he explained, pointing to the photo and then to the bear. “That’s Daddy.”
Connor’s eyes went from one to the other, and then he asked in a puzzled voice, “You used to be a bear?”
````````````
Father’s Day was near when I brought my three-year-old son, Tyler, to the card store. Inside, I showed him the cards for dads and told him to pick one.
When I looked back, Tyler was picking up one card after another, opening them up and quickly shoving them back into slots, every which way. “Tyler, what are you doing?” I asked.
“Haven’t you found a nice card for Daddy yet?”
“No,” he replied. “I’m looking for one with money in it.”
``````````
I decided to make myself useful and do a load of the family laundry. When I took the clothes out of the machine, I discovered — to my dismay — that I had also washed the watch my wife had given me while we were dating. “Don’t expect me to replace it,” she said later with an obvious lack of sympathy. By the time Father’s Day rolled around, however, she had relented and gave me a beautiful new watch. Attached was a note with this stipulation: “DRY-CLEAN ONLY!”
`````````
Our Gen-X daughter, Cristie, made my husband a Father’s Day card entitled “Things My Dad Would Never Say.” Such as:
“Can you turn up that music?”
“Go ahead and take my truck. Here’s 50 bucks for gas.”
“I LOVE your tattoo. We should both get new ones.”
“Here, you take the remote.”
``````````
Before I took the old family car to college, my father loaded the trunk with soft-drink bottles filled with oil, coolant and transmission fluid. Sure enough, my car overheated. Scolding myself for not listening to my father’s instructions, I looked at the engine and saw how well he knew me. The oil cap was labeled Dr Pepper, the transmission stick, Coke, and the empty coolant container, Diet Pepsi. I finished the trip safely.
```````````
My 16-year-old brother, Ryan, was out late with friends one night. Suddenly he realized it was Father’s Day and he had neglected to buy a card for our dad. After much searching, Ryan located an open store, but was disappointed to find only two cards left on a picked-over rack. Selecting one, he brought it home and, somewhat sheepishly, presented it to our father.
Upon opening it, Dad read this message: “You’ve been like a father to me.” He looked at Ryan, puzzled.
“Well, Dad,” Ryan tried to explain, “it was either that or the card that said, ‘Now that I’m a father too!’”
````````````
I gave my father $100 and said, “Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.” So he went out and bought a present for my mother.
````````
I got all my looks from my father. Especially the look of disappointment.
```````````
A neighbor finds a young boy sitting on the stairs crying. “What's the matter, honey?” she asks him.
“It's my father,” the boy says, sobbing. “He hit his finger with a hammer.”
“Then why are you crying?” she says.
“Because first I laughed!” he answers.
```````````
Good morning everyboomie.
My kids never gave me a card with money in it.
I should be getting one from Uncle Sam soon though. I filed my tax return today.
I plan on buying a box of tooth pics when I get it.
It's either that or pull all of my teeth out, and I prefer not to do that.
We are going to be 43 degrees here today, but 64 on Wednesday, and 69 on Thursday.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
We are supposed to be above freezing soon too! Can't wait! 
I had another great practice today, so I'm happy about that. 
Ana I hope it gets warmer for you today! Venus nice the voice lesson went well. Gail hope the doctor appt went well and you are feeling better. Coffee, tea and hot chocolate are ready.
