Posted By: gymcandy1
Tuesday Joe's - 10/09/18 12:06 AM
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
~George Burns~
``````````````
A guy spends the night drinking in a bar.
When he finally leaves at 4:30, he immediately falls over. He crawls for a while, then tries to get back up, falls, crawls, gets back up.
On an on he goes on doing this until he finally gets home. There he falls in his bed and promptly starts snoring.
In the morning, his wife sighs, 'you’ve been drinking again, Joe, haven't you?'
‘How on Earth could you guess that, darling?'
'You went and left the wheelchair at the bar again!!!'
````
You stole my Microsoft Office and for that you’re going to pay.
-
You have my Word!
````
Web site log in: Sorry, your password 257EeffQ@# is not secure enough.
````
-
Cash machine login 1234: Here’s your 1000 dollars. When I greeted my boss in the morning, he told me to have a good day.
Who am I to argue? So I thanked him and went back home.
````
I’m already doing 60 in a 30 mph zone and still that guy is sticking to me. And now he’s blinding me with these fancy blinking blue lights. The world is full of psychos! Wow you look great! Did you lose weight?”
-
“Hey – did you just call me ugly and fat in retrospect?!”
````
Not every badly unkempt guy is homeless. It could well be that he lives with 3 females and only 1 bathroom.
````
A German, an American and a Russian walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them suspiciously and says, “Is this some kind of a joke?”
````
Waiter? I’m sorry, but I cannot eat all this. Would you be so kind and pack it for me? To take away?
-
But sir, this is a buffet.
-
Pack it up I said!“
````
I wish I could go to the Maldives again.”
“Wow, you’ve been to the Maldives?”
“No, but I wished it before.”
````
I broke my personal record for a 100 meter dash: I’m on 64 meters.
````
I saw a poster today, somebody was asking “Have you seen my cat?” So I called the number and said that I haven't. - I like to help where I can.
````
I just like to sleep naked. The air-hostess could have been a bit more understanding.
````
Good morning everyboomie.
I'm in a rush to get this posted. We are supposed to get another 1 to 3 inches of rain tomorrow, but the storms are already moving up from the south.
We lost power last night right in the middle of the 3rd quarter of the game. Just ae well.
I have to get up and drive to Texas in the rain in the morning for my checkup. I feel great so everything should be A-ok.
Beau is here to keep Missy company while I'm gone.
I hope you all have a happy day.
joe
~George Burns~
``````````````
A guy spends the night drinking in a bar.
When he finally leaves at 4:30, he immediately falls over. He crawls for a while, then tries to get back up, falls, crawls, gets back up.
On an on he goes on doing this until he finally gets home. There he falls in his bed and promptly starts snoring.
In the morning, his wife sighs, 'you’ve been drinking again, Joe, haven't you?'
‘How on Earth could you guess that, darling?'
'You went and left the wheelchair at the bar again!!!'
````
You stole my Microsoft Office and for that you’re going to pay.
-
You have my Word!
````
Web site log in: Sorry, your password 257EeffQ@# is not secure enough.
````
-
Cash machine login 1234: Here’s your 1000 dollars. When I greeted my boss in the morning, he told me to have a good day.
Who am I to argue? So I thanked him and went back home.
````
I’m already doing 60 in a 30 mph zone and still that guy is sticking to me. And now he’s blinding me with these fancy blinking blue lights. The world is full of psychos! Wow you look great! Did you lose weight?”
-
“Hey – did you just call me ugly and fat in retrospect?!”
````
Not every badly unkempt guy is homeless. It could well be that he lives with 3 females and only 1 bathroom.
````
A German, an American and a Russian walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them suspiciously and says, “Is this some kind of a joke?”
````
Waiter? I’m sorry, but I cannot eat all this. Would you be so kind and pack it for me? To take away?
-
But sir, this is a buffet.
-
Pack it up I said!“
````
I wish I could go to the Maldives again.”
“Wow, you’ve been to the Maldives?”
“No, but I wished it before.”
````
I broke my personal record for a 100 meter dash: I’m on 64 meters.
````
I saw a poster today, somebody was asking “Have you seen my cat?” So I called the number and said that I haven't. - I like to help where I can.
````
I just like to sleep naked. The air-hostess could have been a bit more understanding.
````
Good morning everyboomie.
I'm in a rush to get this posted. We are supposed to get another 1 to 3 inches of rain tomorrow, but the storms are already moving up from the south.
We lost power last night right in the middle of the 3rd quarter of the game. Just ae well.
I have to get up and drive to Texas in the rain in the morning for my checkup. I feel great so everything should be A-ok.
Beau is here to keep Missy company while I'm gone.
I hope you all have a happy day.
joe
She's ok, I guess she eliminated it all but it left her intestines inflamed. We just went through this a month ago when she found a ball and ate half. She's running up a huge vet bill! 
