Surf and Turf Saturdiner

Wouldn’t exercise be more fun if calories screamed while you burned them?“
–
~Bill Murray~
`````````````


Top Bad Jokes / Really Stupid



Andy has 150 candy bars. He eats 125. What does Andy have now?

Andy has diabetes now.

````

It has four legs and it can fly, what is it?
-
Two birds.

````

Paul: I have good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?

Michael: The good news.

Paul: The good news is that I have no bad news.

````

Whenever I’m sad I just read my blood donor ID. It always says “B
positive”.

````

What did the cowboy say to the cow that stood on the barn roof?
-
Get down, cow!

````

What is yellow and cannot swim?
-
An excavator!
-
And why?
-
Because it only has one arm.

````

What is the tallest piece of furniture?
-

The bookcase. It’s got the most stories.

````

Last words of a highly poisonous snake?

"Drat, I bit my tongue!"

````

Q: What is blue and smells like red paint?
-
A: Blue paint.

````

Why are you giving me an apricot?
-
I heard there’s no way you can get a date.

````

Why do cows wear bells?

Their horns don’t work.

````

A crying son runs to his mom: “Mom, mom, (sniff), Grandpa slapped me in the face.”
-
Grandpa approaches: “Stop lying or I’ll do it again!”

````

Helium walks into a bar and orders water. Bartender apologizes, "Sorry sir but we're currently out of water." What does Helium do? It doesn't react.

````

A woman starts chatting to a man on a subway: "Hello my name is Margaret."
-
The man replies: "Mine's not."

````

What do you get when you cross a dog and an antenna?
-
A Golden Receiver.

````

Why are eggs not very much into jokes? Because they could crack up.

````

What would happen if you threw blue sneakers into the Red Sea?
-
They would get wet.

````

What would you call a very funny mountain?
-
"Mt Hill Arious"

````

What do you get when you crossbreed a mail pigeon and a parrot?

A mail pigeon who stops to ask for directions.

````

I was devastated to hear that Peter died. Are you coming to his funeral?
–
And why should I? He’s not coming to mine.

````

What tea can vary in taste from bitter to sweet?
-
Realitea.

````

You’ll never believe whom I saw yesterday! Everybody I laid my eyes on!

````

Oh, they were laughing when I told them I’m becoming a stand-up comedian. Well, ha! They’re not laughing now!

````

Good morning everyboomie.


Welcome to the weekend!


I had a pretty great day yesterday. It was almost warm, but pretty dog gone windy. Actually we were about 71 or 2 degrees.


I think it was closer to 71 degrees than 2 degrees.


You have to get up very early to outfox an oak tree Ana. I didn't bag a single one.


I did bag a couple of targets on a fence post, and had a blast blasting away with my big guns.


Saturday we're going to hit 77 degrees, so you know what I'll be doing, right?


Shoot me an email please, I forgot.


Have a happy day everyone. rah rah


joe

Joe, I used to be a good shot, I'm out of practice. I need to get to the range one of these days.

Thankgiving was wonderful last night except for an extremely sick grandpuppy. I had to steam vac 4 rooms of the house when they left. WE had lots of fun and laughs though.
I work tonight and then Sunday also. I went from having a three day weekend off to no day off.

Have a happy day all!

watching college football .

Joe, it was in the 20's here, so I can't even imagine your temperatures right now. Sounds fantastic. Glad you missed the trees.

Glad you had a great dinner, Ana. Sorry to hear about the sick puppy, however. Hope you get a day off soon!

Enjoy your day, family.

It's Friday night here. I have a 4 day weekend coming up. There haven't been a lot of projects, but it was like this last year around the holidays, and I'm hoping things will pick up again as they did before. The first 2 weeks of December look better anyway, so I'm just going to treat all these days like a nice vacation. I did practice today, and my lack of practice these past few months was evident. Oh well, it just means I have to keep working at it to get my voice back in shape. More gaming and singing tomorrow.

Have a great Saturday, everyone.

Good morning Joe , Ana , family and Venus - Wishing everyone a great weekend..Happy Gaming all Boomers.


Ps I will be going too Mums place Monday morning (Aussie time) as my father is in Hospital with a swollen spleen..at first they said he had a lump near his stomach now this..

Mum said Dad is having an operation to remove it on the 2nd but i'll stay with her in the meantime to give her support plus we'll will be visiting Dad in Hospital as we're very worried about him..He's been in a lot off pain.

So I want be on for some time sorry possibly a week or so not sure, anyway take care everyone and Happy Birthday to any coming up that I may miss...I will be coming on GameBoomer's another 1-2 times before I go okay..

going to more packing catch you later Goodnight.

Good Morning Joe, Ana, family, venus, Taintedfury and everyone. Joe I'll take some of that warm weather please. We were in the teens yesterday with wind chill. Ana glad you had a nice dinner and visit even with a sick puppy! Family enjoy the football. Venus it is nice you are finding time to practice!

Taintedfury I hope all works out for your Dad. My thoughts and prayers are with you, your Mom, and your Dad.
Take Care.

Coffee and tea are ready.
Wishing everyone a peaceful day!

Good morning everyone, have a Great Saturday. Taintedfury, Prayers for your dad on the way. I will be going to the Eagles to help with the food for the FSU/Gator game (rivalry). We have the house divided flag, whoever wins the game their half of the flag stays on top all year. Robert and I are FSU fans. My oldest son Donald is a Gator fan. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, BB Pancakes, and Bacon in the NC.

Good Morning Kaki's Sister- try and keep warm and Connie have fun at the Eagles tonight..also thank you both very much i'll pass on the prayer's to both Mum and Dad..very much appreciated..take care going to bed now busy day tomorrow with rest off packing to do and chores.

Taintedfury, all the best with your dads surgery. Prayers and positive thoughts for a speedy recovery. Safe travels too!

Connie, that's too funny! I hope your team wins!

Gerry, we had that weather a week ago. Time to snuggle near the fireplace!

family, enjoy the game!

venus, do you practice or sing in the car? My favorite place to sing!

Have a great day all!

Good morning everyone

TaintedFury, will be keeping you, dad and the family in my prayers for the surgery and recovery.

Joe Ana Family Venus Gerry Connie have a great day

Will be gaming, watching football, maybe the rest of a movie, relaxing and having fun in general today

L4L

Super Saturday ya'll

Woke up and made pancakes and bacon for the family. Then a little bit of WoW, followed by the Iron Bowl. It is not going well, but I did not expect it to this year.

Tainted, we'll miss you, but I know your mom will be thrilled to have you. Hugs!

Hi Ana , Soot and Looney thank for you all for the positive thoughts and prayers as they'll help me on my journey to help and Mum and keep hope for Dad too recover...we're very much appreciated and I know that I'm going to miss you all very much.

Been very busy here as I'm doing clothes washing before I go and checking my medicines to take for me as well as some food for us..

I'll come on later tonight before going to bed...again thanks very much.

Nighty night...

Good night, everyone.

Good night Ana, Venus, family, Soot, Kaki's Sister, Looney and Connie and all Boomer's - take care all, i'm going to bed early...talk again when I'm back...miss you all

Morning all. And Taintedfury, I'll be keeping you and your family in my prayers.

And I think it may be time to start another Edition of Sorta's Neighborhood, only this one will be Sorta's Rental. Things have been going downhill since my good friends/neighbors/tenants of 30 years moved back to their home country. One thing after another keeps happening and it's time for me to entertain all GBs with more of the strange but true happenings. Stay tuned to Mixed Bag for a brand new series, coming soon to a computer near you. Don't miss the exciting and new antics of 'Sorta's Rental"!

Oh my SortaB...I can't wait