Monday Joe's

Retirement at 65 is ridiculous. When I was 65 I still had pimples. -

~George Burns~
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Funny Sayings | Part 4 | Very Funny


Best first:

I didn’t fall down. The floor needed a hug.

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Top 10 funny messages for an answering machine message

1. Hello, this is Frank's fridge. If you leave a message, I will attach it on my door with a magnet.

2. Hello, I am David's answering machine. And who are you?

3. Hello, this is Death speaking. If you leave your name and telephone number, I'll get back to you as soon as I can.

4. Hi, I'm at home but unfortunately too drunk to find the telephone. Please leave a message and I'll call you back as soon as I'm capable of it.

5. Hello, this is Daniel's answering machine. Please leave a message between the beeps: Beep-beep. Nothing? OK, good bye.

6. Hello, this is Anna's answering machine. I'm always here for you and I love listening to you. Please leave a message after the beep.

7. No, please not the beep. Please, noooo.... Beep

8. You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you. Please speak after the beep.

9. Hello, you are connected to the Vatican. All the confessionals are currently busy. Please explain your sins in full detail after the tone.

10. Hello? Hello? Yes, Aha... Well this is Tony's answering machine. Sorry he's not here. But you can leave him a message after the tone.

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If somebody calls you ugly, you can just say, “You’ve mistaken me for your mirror again, didn’t you?”

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After millions of years of evolution, you’re kind of a disappointment.

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I’m breathing. That’s about it for today’s productivity.

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A broad smile is a cooler way of showing your enemies that you have teeth.

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I am an example to others. Not a good one, but heh, nobody's perfect.

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Rule No. 1: Women are always right. Rule No. 2: If a woman is not right, Rule No.1 applies.

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Men with piercings are ideal marriage material. They are not new to pain and they have experience with buying jewelry. - Gabi Köster -

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Girls want a lot from one guy. On the other hand, a guy only wants one thing from a lot of girls.

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Panic, Chaos, Pandemonium – my work here is finished.

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Whoever said "nothing is impossible" clearly never tried slamming a revolving door.

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May I be excused? My brain is quite full.

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The perfect man doesn’t swear, doesn’t smoke, doesn’t get angry, doesn’t drink..............doesn’t exist.

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Do not let your mind wander too much. It is too small for you to let it out alone.

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The human body was clearly designed by a civil engineer. Who else would put a waste disposal pipeline running through a recreational area?

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Just you keep on talking, for sure someday you’ll say something intelligent.

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Every rule has an exception. This rule is no exception.

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Monday office chat: There are days one should really just sleep through. Like Monday through Friday.

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Promises are like babies… They’re fun to make but hard to deliver.

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Good morning everyboomie.


Welcome to the new week! Get ready for a whole lotta good things coming your way this week.


Tis the season to spread love and cheer, and get love and cheer.


Ho Ho Ho you know.....


And since we're on the subject.....you have 21 shopping days till Christmas, so don't panic you still have plenty of time to get my gift, and get it in the mail.


It would be better if it were post marked by the 15th. No point in beating around the bush.


Too bad Sunday is over. I'll have to go back to watching football reruns.


Except for the game that's on right now.


Have a happy day everyone.


joe

Joe, I am so not ready for the holidays. Time flies and I need more hours!

Have a happy day all! The next two weeks will be super busy again.

Ana

going to the heart place for a echocardiogram

Good luck at the docs family!

Enjoy your game, Joe, whether it's live or a rerun.

Hope your day isn't too busy, Ana!

Good luck with your visit, family!

It's Sunday night, and I'm off to sleep. It's back to work for me again tomorrow. Looks like I was able to arrange a 3 day weekend, anyway.

Have a great Monday, everyone.

Good Morning Joe, Ana, family, venus and everyone. Joe enjoy your day. Ana hope your week isn't to hectic! Family hope all goes well with the echocardiogram. Coffee and tea are ready.
A Happy Day wished for everyone!

Good morning everyone, have a Super Monday. Working the kitchen at the Eagles, then a meeting there tonight. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, BB Pancakes, Bacon, Sausage, and French Toast in the NC.

falcons lost, new england won, chargers won, but they cheated, the guy kept getting off side 1 time.

Just wanted to let everyone know I am still here. Managed to stupidly go to Wally Mart yesterday. Not only was it a 'black Friday' deal day stuff, but it's also Payday around here for almost everyone. Wow. Somehow I managed to find a parking spot, find a BASKET (albeit a wobbly one), find my stuff, check out reasonably fast and get home without injury. Two different drivers tried to ruin my day. Huge truck driven by a distracted woman was parked at the curb. She let 3 cars pass on the street and then pulled out RIGHT INTO the side of my car. Missed me by a few inches as I slammed on my brakes. I didn't even have time to honk my horn. The second stupid driver was in the far right 'turn right only' lane beside me at the light. The left turn lane arrow guys did their turns and then the green light came on for ME to go straight. Sooooo the guy in the right turn only lane decided he needed to turn LEFT from the right lane in FRONT of me and I was already halfway into the intersection! Talk about loving anti-lock brakes. Managed to get the 3 blocks to my house without further incident, but I sure was watching EVERYONE. Hate holiday shoppers.

Hope you all have had a wonderful Monday. It's been warm here...back to shorts and open windows.

G'sons are living with us for awhile. One is fine and the other is petulant. Oh well!

Daughter is going down the home stretch on Baby Unicorn2, so that means I have to think about when I'm heading to CO.

I finished most of my Christmas shopping today...thanks to the internet and a d-i-l that makes me wish lists and links them. Still have one g'daughter that no one seems to know what she wants, and the boys here.

Have a great evening, ya'll

Good night, everyone.