Posted By: gymcandy1
Happy Thump Day Joe's - 12/06/18 01:57 AM
“What’s my type? Someone who is supportive. Someone who is warm. Someone I can just curl up and relax with. Wait I’m describing my bed again.” –
~Bill Murray~
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Funny Sayings | Part 7 | Dumb and Amusing
Best first:
I so enjoy the sound of you not talking.
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They say money doesn't bring you happiness. Still, it is better to verify things for yourself.
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Good thing Noah took those two coffee beans on board.
````
I'm really good at stuff until somebody watches me do that stuff.
````
You can train a cat to do anything the cat wants to do at the moment it wants to do it.
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It is a fact of nature that light arrives faster than sound. Which is why some people can appear quite bright, until you here them speak.
````
You are so fake, even China doesn’t want to be associated with you.
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I am swift as a gazelle. An old one. With arthritis. Run over by a Land Rover. 8 days ago.
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You have to excuse me, I suffer from emotional constipation. I really can’t give a s***.
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Roses are red, violets are blue, God made me pretty, what’s he done to you?
````
If your wife wants to learn how to drive, you better not be standing in her way.
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You may have one but that doesn't mean you have to act like one.
````
Fat? Me? No, no, no! These are airbags because I am precious.
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How many times must I flush before you finally go away?
````
Looking at the size of these chicken fingers, that chicken must have been around 8 or 11 feet tall.
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Maybe you should move. There must be a village looking for an idiot.
````
I don't mean to be rude, but you're an idiot, your wife's an idiot, and your children are all kidiots.
````
If you see nothing you could be grateful for, check your pulse.
````
It is what’s inside that matters - the fridge is a perfect example.
````
Good morning everyboomie.
It's THURSDAY!!!
I don't know why, but Thursty seems to be a day I always drink a lot.
My thanks to everyone for the birthday wishes. Very much appreciated.
It was a real nice day for me.
Our weather is descending into a very wet weekend. We have 50% rain 'opportunity' Thursday, and then 100% chances were gonna get wet Friday and Saturday.
I'll keep my fingers crossed that it's a very heavy rain event. Water weighs 8lbs per gallon, so I've ordered up one million gallons. That should drench my neck of the woods real good.
Ok, I'm off to watch one of my favorite programs. Dallas Cowboys winning football reruns.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
~Bill Murray~
`````````````
Funny Sayings | Part 7 | Dumb and Amusing
Best first:
I so enjoy the sound of you not talking.
````
They say money doesn't bring you happiness. Still, it is better to verify things for yourself.
````
Good thing Noah took those two coffee beans on board.
````
I'm really good at stuff until somebody watches me do that stuff.
````
You can train a cat to do anything the cat wants to do at the moment it wants to do it.
````
It is a fact of nature that light arrives faster than sound. Which is why some people can appear quite bright, until you here them speak.
````
You are so fake, even China doesn’t want to be associated with you.
````
I am swift as a gazelle. An old one. With arthritis. Run over by a Land Rover. 8 days ago.
````
You have to excuse me, I suffer from emotional constipation. I really can’t give a s***.
````
Roses are red, violets are blue, God made me pretty, what’s he done to you?
````
If your wife wants to learn how to drive, you better not be standing in her way.
````
You may have one but that doesn't mean you have to act like one.
````
Fat? Me? No, no, no! These are airbags because I am precious.
````
How many times must I flush before you finally go away?
````
Looking at the size of these chicken fingers, that chicken must have been around 8 or 11 feet tall.
````
Maybe you should move. There must be a village looking for an idiot.
````
I don't mean to be rude, but you're an idiot, your wife's an idiot, and your children are all kidiots.
````
If you see nothing you could be grateful for, check your pulse.
````
It is what’s inside that matters - the fridge is a perfect example.
````
Good morning everyboomie.
It's THURSDAY!!!
I don't know why, but Thursty seems to be a day I always drink a lot.
My thanks to everyone for the birthday wishes. Very much appreciated.
It was a real nice day for me.
Our weather is descending into a very wet weekend. We have 50% rain 'opportunity' Thursday, and then 100% chances were gonna get wet Friday and Saturday.
I'll keep my fingers crossed that it's a very heavy rain event. Water weighs 8lbs per gallon, so I've ordered up one million gallons. That should drench my neck of the woods real good.
Ok, I'm off to watch one of my favorite programs. Dallas Cowboys winning football reruns.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
I hope you get your rain, and keep it! Our ground is oversaturated from a weekend of downpours and 8 inches of melted snow! 
Hope you get all the rain you want.
Sorry you have such a crazy day. 
Hope it goes by quickly!
