Posted By: gymcandy1
T*G*I*F - 12/07/18 02:09 AM
To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the loving cup, whenever you’re wrong admit it; whenever you’re right shut up. -
~Ogden Nash~
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Funny Sayings | Part 8 | Hilarious and Silly
Best first: Common sense is not so common.
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If I’m driving you crazy, please remember to put your seatbelt on.
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Chocolate doesn’t ask any questions. Chocolate simply understands.
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The true nature of a human being clearly shows when the supermarket opens a second cash desk.
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I read married couples do it about 74 times per year. It’s end of November now. Seems I’m going to have a seriously exciting December!
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If money doesn’t grow on trees, why do banks have branches?
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Roll your eyes all you like.You're not gonna find any brains back there.
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An opportunist is the guy who drinks the water while the pessimist, the optimist and the realist are arguing about how full the glass is.
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Before my first cup of coffee I hate everybody. That doesn’t change after I’ve had that coffee, but it feels much better.
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I'm not lazy. I'm just highly motivated to do nothing.
````
Jesus loves you. Everyone else thinks you’re a great big idiot.
````
If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a million times: Don’t exaggerate!
````
You may think the grass is greener on the other side, but it’s possibly because there’s more manure there!
````
I’m not bossy, I simply know exactly what you should be doing.
````
If your friend asks for some of your chips, you can reply: There’s no 'we' in chips.
````
Roses are red, violets are blue, a face like yours belongs in the Zoo.
````
There is no lousy weather, only lousy choice of clothing.
````
Of all the dogs, a Hot Dog is the most noble; it feeds the hand that bites it.
````
Being British means driving your German car to an Irish pub to have a Belgian beer, then grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way home where you rest on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.
````
I’m not reading any instructions. I just press buttons until it does what I want.
````
A true optimist is the guy who falls off a skyscraper and after 50 floors thinks to himself – well, so far so good!
````
I refuse to have a battle of wits with an opponent so clearly unarmed.
````
Good morning Gameboomers how are ya?
If you're a 'nine to fiver' this is the one you've been looking for.
I'm looking for Sunday, when the rain stops.
We didn't even leave the house today. Well....Missy did go out in the yard to do her business, but I've been warned by the police not to do that anymore.
I just feel that nature breaks.....you know.....should be taken in nature.
It's just too inconvenient to drive out to the woods.
Wishing you all a happy, carefree Friday.
joe
~Ogden Nash~
````````````
Funny Sayings | Part 8 | Hilarious and Silly
Best first: Common sense is not so common.
````
If I’m driving you crazy, please remember to put your seatbelt on.
````
Chocolate doesn’t ask any questions. Chocolate simply understands.
````
The true nature of a human being clearly shows when the supermarket opens a second cash desk.
````
I read married couples do it about 74 times per year. It’s end of November now. Seems I’m going to have a seriously exciting December!
````
If money doesn’t grow on trees, why do banks have branches?
````
Roll your eyes all you like.You're not gonna find any brains back there.
````
An opportunist is the guy who drinks the water while the pessimist, the optimist and the realist are arguing about how full the glass is.
````
Before my first cup of coffee I hate everybody. That doesn’t change after I’ve had that coffee, but it feels much better.
````
I'm not lazy. I'm just highly motivated to do nothing.
````
Jesus loves you. Everyone else thinks you’re a great big idiot.
````
If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a million times: Don’t exaggerate!
````
You may think the grass is greener on the other side, but it’s possibly because there’s more manure there!
````
I’m not bossy, I simply know exactly what you should be doing.
````
If your friend asks for some of your chips, you can reply: There’s no 'we' in chips.
````
Roses are red, violets are blue, a face like yours belongs in the Zoo.
````
There is no lousy weather, only lousy choice of clothing.
````
Of all the dogs, a Hot Dog is the most noble; it feeds the hand that bites it.
````
Being British means driving your German car to an Irish pub to have a Belgian beer, then grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way home where you rest on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.
````
I’m not reading any instructions. I just press buttons until it does what I want.
````
A true optimist is the guy who falls off a skyscraper and after 50 floors thinks to himself – well, so far so good!
````
I refuse to have a battle of wits with an opponent so clearly unarmed.
````
Good morning Gameboomers how are ya?
If you're a 'nine to fiver' this is the one you've been looking for.
I'm looking for Sunday, when the rain stops.
We didn't even leave the house today. Well....Missy did go out in the yard to do her business, but I've been warned by the police not to do that anymore.
I just feel that nature breaks.....you know.....should be taken in nature.
It's just too inconvenient to drive out to the woods.
Wishing you all a happy, carefree Friday.
joe
Unfortunately, the maintenance people may be here yet again, making it the 5th time this month. 
I really hope this project will finally be completed soon. Off to sleep now, as I'm about to pass out on my keyboard. 
