Posted By: gymcandy1
Saturdiner - 12/08/18 02:09 AM
Do you think you’re safe in a car with your seatbelts on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she’s pregnant. -
~Anke Engelke~
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Funny Sayings | Part 9 | Witty and Cool
Best first:
Of course I love sport. That's why I do it so sparingly. It should really remain something special.
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Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?
````
If love is blind, then marriage is its spectacles.
````
The shortest horror story title: Monday.
````
Stupidity knows no boundaries, but it knows a lot of people.
````
What would you, as an uninvolved party, say on the topic of intelligence?
````
How to win the heart of a woman? Kiss her, love her, go to the end of the world for her. - How to win the heart of a man? Come naked with a six pack.
````
Intelligence relentlessly rides in your wake - but you are faster.
````
4 bottles of bleach: $20.00. A coil of rope, 4 rolls of duct tape, and a shovel: $45.00. 3 boxes of XXL bin liners: $10.00. - The look on the cashier’s face: Priceless!
````
The password to your life is “Humor”.
````
Good persuasion technique: Come over to the dark side... we've got candy.
````
A truth of life: Only ever trust your own butt to always stand behind you!
````
German saying: Too long speeches lead to no actions.
````
Some harsh morning reality: The early bird dies of sleep deprivation.
````
Don't share the host's music taste?: "I believe they are actually using this music to keep the hobos from train stations."
````
Need to defend a messy apartment?
We maintain an alternative lifestyle.
````
A smooth break-up line: There was a time when I would have given myself to you, now I'm not even willing to throw up in your direction.
````
Thank you, I don’t need a hairstylist. My pillow creates a new hairdo for me every morning.
````
What not to say when you get pulled over:
Police officer: Papers.
Driver: Scissors.
````
Dear math exercise book, kindly grow up finally and solve your own problems!
````
When you just want to be mean: If I were you, I'd wish to be me!
````
Sunday early bird: Why do you call so early Mom? It is Sunday! 3am in the morning!!!
````
And lastly
The weekend has landed: Goodbye, social status and dignity. I'll see you Monday.
````
Good morning everyboomie.
Welcome to the weekend!
I had a nice quiet day of sleeping and gaming here. Sleeping is always better when it's quiet.
I keep trying to explain that to Pepper, but she just doesn't get it.
That's ok though. After......
....over 20 years she's taught me how to get used to it. 
Jason let me know today that he will be here from the 22nd to the 29th.
Josh has just moved from Texas up to Washington, and he will not be here for Christmas unfortunately.
Hopefully they'll be happier up there than they were in San Antonio.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
~Anke Engelke~
``````````````
Funny Sayings | Part 9 | Witty and Cool
Best first:
Of course I love sport. That's why I do it so sparingly. It should really remain something special.
````
Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?
````
If love is blind, then marriage is its spectacles.
````
The shortest horror story title: Monday.
````
Stupidity knows no boundaries, but it knows a lot of people.
````
What would you, as an uninvolved party, say on the topic of intelligence?
````
How to win the heart of a woman? Kiss her, love her, go to the end of the world for her. - How to win the heart of a man? Come naked with a six pack.
````
Intelligence relentlessly rides in your wake - but you are faster.
````
4 bottles of bleach: $20.00. A coil of rope, 4 rolls of duct tape, and a shovel: $45.00. 3 boxes of XXL bin liners: $10.00. - The look on the cashier’s face: Priceless!
````
The password to your life is “Humor”.
````
Good persuasion technique: Come over to the dark side... we've got candy.
````
A truth of life: Only ever trust your own butt to always stand behind you!
````
German saying: Too long speeches lead to no actions.
````
Some harsh morning reality: The early bird dies of sleep deprivation.
````
Don't share the host's music taste?: "I believe they are actually using this music to keep the hobos from train stations."
````
Need to defend a messy apartment?
We maintain an alternative lifestyle.
````
A smooth break-up line: There was a time when I would have given myself to you, now I'm not even willing to throw up in your direction.
````
Thank you, I don’t need a hairstylist. My pillow creates a new hairdo for me every morning.
````
What not to say when you get pulled over:
Police officer: Papers.
Driver: Scissors.
````
Dear math exercise book, kindly grow up finally and solve your own problems!
````
When you just want to be mean: If I were you, I'd wish to be me!
````
Sunday early bird: Why do you call so early Mom? It is Sunday! 3am in the morning!!!
````
And lastly
The weekend has landed: Goodbye, social status and dignity. I'll see you Monday.
````
Good morning everyboomie.
Welcome to the weekend!
I had a nice quiet day of sleeping and gaming here. Sleeping is always better when it's quiet.
I keep trying to explain that to Pepper, but she just doesn't get it.
That's ok though. After......
....over 20 years she's taught me how to get used to it. Jason let me know today that he will be here from the 22nd to the 29th.
Josh has just moved from Texas up to Washington, and he will not be here for Christmas unfortunately.
Hopefully they'll be happier up there than they were in San Antonio.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
I am Gerry ... oh I am
