Posted By: gymcandy1
Monday Joe's - 12/10/18 01:25 AM
Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead. -
~Bill McGlashen~
````````````````
Pirate Jokes | Hilarrrrrrrious
Best first:
Have you ever heard any good pirate jokes?
[NO]
Well neither have ayyye!
````
Q: What happened to the pirate when his wooden leg caught fire?
A: He got burnt to the ground.
````
What subject are pirates best at at school? -
Arrrrt.
````
How did the pirate become a boxing champion so fast? -
Nobody was ready to take on his right hook.
````
What do you call a pirate with two eyes, two hands and two legs? -
A beginner.
````
What does the pirate say when he steps on a Lego? -
Arrrrrgh!!!
````
Isn't it odd that the Pirates of the Caribbean DVD had a piracy warning?
````
To err is human. To arr is seriously pirate.
````
Why are pirates such eager readers of the Playboy? - Because of the arrrticles.
````
How do pirates communicate with each other? -
With an Aye phone.
````
What were the pirate’s words when he blew out the candles on his 80th birthday cake?
Answer: Aye matey!
````
How do pirates know that they are pirates? - They think so, therefore they arrr.
````
What is a pirate’s favorite movie? - Booty and the Beast. (But it is arr-rated.)
````
What do you get when you cross a parrot and a shark? - A bird that will talk your head off.
````
In case his ship is sunk, every pirate carries a bar of soap with him at all times. - You know, to wash him ashore.
````
Who was the first pirate? - Noah, the builder of the Arrrrk.
````
Steve: I know a pirate with a wooden leg called Joe.
Pete: Really? What did he call his hook?
````
What’s the difference between a pirate and a strawberry farmer?
The pirate buries his treasure, the farmer treasures his berries.
````
What is pirates’ favorite choice of music? - aRR n’ B
````
Pirate pick up lines:
- Is that a wooden leg or are you that happy to see me?
- Do you mind if I drop anchor in your lagoon?
- Care to do some booty plundering with me?
- Surrender your booty!
````
What kind of a ship is most feared by pirates? -
The Relationship.
````
How does a pirate declutter his ship? - By having a yarrrrd sale.
````
A pirate has stopped his pirating and mended his ways, but his parrot was just too bad, constantly swearing and refusing to behave. Finally the ex-pirate had enough of it. When the parrot started swearing again, he stuck it in the freezer for five minutes. When he fished it out again, the bird was very humble and said: “I promise I’ll be good now, John, no more swearing! Just one question – what on did the turkey do?”
````
Why don’t pirate marriages last much? - Because of all the arrrrguments.
````
Wooden pegs and hooks are really expensive these days. - They cost an arm and a leg.
````
Why do pirates make great lawyers? Because they have very good arrrrguments.
````
Why is it so hard for pirates to learn to read? - Because they spend so much time at C.
````
Good morning everyboomie.
It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new week.
New new new new new, I just love new!
Good old new.
I hope you all had a great weekend. Sunday was nice here. We woke up to sunshine........mostly.
It was still chilly, but got up to the 50s by mid afternoon. Missy took me for two walks.
Today I have to go get more groceries, and that's about it.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
~Bill McGlashen~
````````````````
Pirate Jokes | Hilarrrrrrrious
Best first:
Have you ever heard any good pirate jokes?
[NO]
Well neither have ayyye!
````
Q: What happened to the pirate when his wooden leg caught fire?
A: He got burnt to the ground.
````
What subject are pirates best at at school? -
Arrrrt.
````
How did the pirate become a boxing champion so fast? -
Nobody was ready to take on his right hook.
````
What do you call a pirate with two eyes, two hands and two legs? -
A beginner.
````
What does the pirate say when he steps on a Lego? -
Arrrrrgh!!!
````
Isn't it odd that the Pirates of the Caribbean DVD had a piracy warning?
````
To err is human. To arr is seriously pirate.
````
Why are pirates such eager readers of the Playboy? - Because of the arrrticles.
````
How do pirates communicate with each other? -
With an Aye phone.
````
What were the pirate’s words when he blew out the candles on his 80th birthday cake?
Answer: Aye matey!
````
How do pirates know that they are pirates? - They think so, therefore they arrr.
````
What is a pirate’s favorite movie? - Booty and the Beast. (But it is arr-rated.)
````
What do you get when you cross a parrot and a shark? - A bird that will talk your head off.
````
In case his ship is sunk, every pirate carries a bar of soap with him at all times. - You know, to wash him ashore.
````
Who was the first pirate? - Noah, the builder of the Arrrrk.
````
Steve: I know a pirate with a wooden leg called Joe.
Pete: Really? What did he call his hook?
````
What’s the difference between a pirate and a strawberry farmer?
The pirate buries his treasure, the farmer treasures his berries.
````
What is pirates’ favorite choice of music? - aRR n’ B
````
Pirate pick up lines:
- Is that a wooden leg or are you that happy to see me?
- Do you mind if I drop anchor in your lagoon?
- Care to do some booty plundering with me?
- Surrender your booty!
````
What kind of a ship is most feared by pirates? -
The Relationship.
````
How does a pirate declutter his ship? - By having a yarrrrd sale.
````
A pirate has stopped his pirating and mended his ways, but his parrot was just too bad, constantly swearing and refusing to behave. Finally the ex-pirate had enough of it. When the parrot started swearing again, he stuck it in the freezer for five minutes. When he fished it out again, the bird was very humble and said: “I promise I’ll be good now, John, no more swearing! Just one question – what on did the turkey do?”
````
Why don’t pirate marriages last much? - Because of all the arrrrguments.
````
Wooden pegs and hooks are really expensive these days. - They cost an arm and a leg.
````
Why do pirates make great lawyers? Because they have very good arrrrguments.
````
Why is it so hard for pirates to learn to read? - Because they spend so much time at C.
````
Good morning everyboomie.
It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new week.
New new new new new, I just love new!
Good old new.
I hope you all had a great weekend. Sunday was nice here. We woke up to sunshine........mostly.
It was still chilly, but got up to the 50s by mid afternoon. Missy took me for two walks.
Today I have to go get more groceries, and that's about it.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
Hope you have a great day!
I want to go back to bed, but work calls, so off I go. 
